Why can’t I hear Spirit more clearly?
When you have a situation where you think you might want to have outside support – from Me or from somewhere else – what would happen if you instead go to your own inner guidance? Some people say that the response isn’t as clear as what is heard from Me or from other sources. They often feel that their ego voice interferes, that there may be fear present, and that the information often can’t be fully understood. It sometimes feels like the answer is in the form of a riddle and they are uncertain just how to interpret it. There also may be a hesitance to trust their ability to hear Spirit, or a fear that they might just be crazy to listen to and trust an inner voice.
The first thing to trust is that the part of you that hears the thoughts coming from Me and recognizes their truth for you in this moment is your inner guidance. The process of keeping this always one step removed from you is what keeps you feeling stuck. I’m trying to work Myself out of a job here. I am telling you what you know to be true, but you are projecting that truth out upon Me, rather than accepting it as your own. It may be time to stop distrusting your inner knowing and to be willing to hear it more and more clearly. Part of the confusion is that your ego mind does not want to hear the fullness of what Spirit has to say. If you project that voice outside of yourself, you can fight with it and not take full responsibility for what it is communicating. Instead of directly following your guidance you can give yourself the “luxury” of being in resistance for some period of time. I am of course joking when I use the term “luxury”; this is simply a time for prolonging your suffering. When you accept the guidance now as your own, or at least ask Spirit to help you in doing that, you can move right into and through your fear. It is always easier than you feared it would be, because it was never a real fear of a real happening. All that is required is for you to face it. Your guidance will encourage you to do that. I am always willing to play the role of the bad guy by telling you what you don’t want to hear. Eventually you have to become your own bad guy. Everything accelerates when you take responsibility for your guidance. When you acknowledge the voice as your own and are willing to pay attention to it, it will probably never shut up. It will keep on you until you fully surrender to it.
One of the ego fears that leads you to project these voices outside of yourself is the belief that others will think you are crazy. Then you can play the game that Peter portrays when Jesus is arrested. You can go into denial saying that isn’t your voice; that is somebody else’s crazy idea. You wouldn’t believe such a thing. “You must have me confused with someone else.” You can say that you read it or heard it from Sanhia, but he doesn’t speak for you. Perhaps I don’t. That is an important question to ask yourself. If this voice is also your voice, it may be time to fully claim it. It is not the world; it is not your parents; it is only you – your projection and your ego – that fears you are crazy. The only way out of that fear is through it. Since We are not holding your fear, the way out is not through Us. It is through you; it is necessary to go within and face it. This does not mean that you must go cold turkey and stop talking to Us. We are always willing to speak with you. It is about taking these words and owning them. Acknowledge that this is your inner voice speaking to you. That is why you listen. That is why you trust it. That is why you act on it. If you are truly doing that, it is unlikely that you will return to Us with a question that you have already asked. New questions may arise, but the old ones have already been answered for you in a way that you trust. If it does not feel right to you when I speak, stop Me then and question Me further. Otherwise, take it as your own and work with it. If further questions come, by all means feel free to ask.
When I answer your questions, I may pursue a path of “beating the ego senseless”. This may leave you feeling a little disoriented. Repeated reading or listening may help the message to sink in. That’s when you may notice other questions arising. Feel free to follow up those questions with Us. Continuing to focus on these issues and dealing with the fears that may come up will take much time off of your period of pain and suffering. Such activity does constitute making the guidance your own. The ego will continue to protect its turf until it doesn’t. Repeated focus on the guidance will lead to a place of full integration. You can return to external sources such as Me for reassurance, but there is always a level of distrust of self, of Spirit, or of God in that. We are training wheels. Eventually you will coast without Us.
Meanwhile, there may be a fear of the Oneness, a fear of going it alone. There appears to be a safety in having the support of other people, of relationships. This is always projection. The only way to realize yourself fully at home with the Divine is through your own personal relationship with Spirit. The desire to share your spiritual process with others may stem from the fear that you are not loved or loveable. Take that directly to Spirit. You are Love. You will never find acceptance if you seek it outside of yourself.
When you don’t trust your inner voice it may be because you don’t trust God. You project your inner misuse of power onto the Divine. You fear that if you were to allow yourself to be powerful, then you – as you fear is true of God – would become absolutely untrustworthy. You are Power. When you give your power away, whether it is to Me, to A Course in Miracles, or to any person or teaching outside of yourself, this guarantees you the right to resist. Resisting might look like pretending to not understand. When you go directly to the source, to the Divinity within you, there is no wiggle space remaining. You can resist the words you hear, but the inner guidance goes beyond words; it is knowingness.
Ultimately, the sharing with others becomes absolutely unnecessary for you. There will be no need for anybody else’s guidance. Sharing then becomes something you are guided to do for Spirit’s purpose, not for your own need. If it is Spirit driven, you will notice no attachment to outcomes or even to understanding why you were guided to share.
Spirit is speaking clearly to you right now. It is only for you to listen “softer”, to quiet your ego mind so that you can hear. I am not separate from you. When you open up to hear these words it is your inner guidance; it is Spirit that is being heard. That voice is always there, perhaps only whispering now, but eventually it will be the only sound you will pay attention to. The ego will slip away. The thought that you and I are separate will slip away. There is only the One.
Good Now
Sanhia/Spirit