What are the real dynamics of rescuing?
Rescuing is a deeply ingrained part of your culture. You were raised with fairy tales about a damsel in distress, who is held captive by an evil knight or a dragon or a witch. The noble, good knight comes in to rescue her. What is communicated by this beautiful story? First of all, we have the hopelessness of the victim. The story does not recognize the victim as a powerful, infinitely creative child of God, but as a mere mortal of limited abilities – unable to help herself. Much can also be made out of the feminizing of the victim, but victims today can just as well be in a male as in a female body – though males may be less inclined to ask for help. Another aspect of the story is that there is some evil force outside of the victim that wishes to do harm to her, to exert power over her; and the victim is helpless in the face of this dark energy. If the rescuer is successful, which of course he usually is in these stories, what he has done is to confirm the powerlessness of the victim. The victim is forever indebted to the rescuer and the rescuer may look forward to a lifetime of protecting the victim. Regardless, the victim will continue to create situations where rescue is is seen as necessary. That is her story. The rescuer, also, will continue to look for damsels in distress.
The first question is to ask whether a great service is really being provided if the relief is only temporary. This is not to say that you are to ignore someone who is in danger or that support is not to be lent when the situation is grave. But if a pattern of helplessness exists, are you providing the highest service by continually rescuing? Jesus said that if you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man how to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. When you rescue, you are giving a fish. Teaching victims how to rescue themselves feeds them for a lifetime. Jesus was able to heal others because he recognized their divinity. He did not see them as helpless victims. The key to eliminating victimhood lies in the recognition that you are the creative power in your life. As long as you pretend that you are not, you will always need rescuing. If you believe in victimhood, you will be one. If you think evil exists, it will continue to oppress you.
Without victims, there is no need for rescuers. Why would you rescue somebody if you recognized their divine power? Just what is the difference between the rescuer and the victim? They are two sides of the same story. One cannot exist without the other. It is the brain-mind that holds this story of helplessness. The only true rescue that can happen is for the brain-mind to choose to relinquish this story of victimhood. If it gives this powerlessness to the belly-mind to be embraced by its unconditional love, the illusion of fear can be transformed into spiritual gold. That rescue is not performed by another. It is accomplished by yourself. There can be aids or other support. When you create a new story, all kinds of assistance come to bring it into fruition, but those allies come at your order. They come because of your strength, not your weakness.
Rescuers can alleviate the pain, but a healing comes only from the wellspring of your own power and divinity. True rescuing involves supporting another’s brain-mind to take its power. It does not provide solutions, but encourages others to create their own salvation. If the rescuer buys the story of the helplessness, the rescuer does not believe in the divinity of the victim. The rescuer sees the victim as weak and vulnerable. But, you cannot perceive powerlessness in another unless it is also part of your own story about yourself. Rescuing becomes a distraction. Instead of dealing with your own impotence, you deal with another’s. There is a basic denial. But as you don’t truly heal the victim’s helplessness, you don’t handle yours either. You pretend it is not there and project it upon another. This is the danger of being a rescuer. The world wants to pat you on the back, so there is a great sense of security in continuing to go out and rescue others. Your own feelings of weakness can be covered up. It feels safer to live in the illusion that you are strong and rescuing everyone else than to face your own fear. If the rescuer were to acknowledge the strength and divinity in the victims, what is left for them to do? How can you be a hero if there is nobody to save? The answer is that you can’t truly rescue another until you liberate yourself. The task of the hero is to recognize his own divinity and to take full responsibility and power in his life.
Let us not forget the third leg of the victim triangle. We also need the villain, the victimizer. The play can’t go on without one. Remembering that there can only be evil if you believe in it, what is the role of the villain? There needs to be a delivery system for the disaster that supports the belief in victimhood and helplessness. Without the victimizer, there is no painful “old story” to be freed from. The lack of belief in your personal divinity is still present, but there is no nagging need to release it. The villain is the answer to your prayers. You want to realize your divinity, but you need a situation that is so hopeless that you are ready to entertain the idea of changing your story. Part of the process of reclaiming your divinity is to welcome, thank, and give love to your victimizer. You have asked the villain to be there, whether you are aware of it or not. It could be no other way, because you are the divine power in your life. The victimizer is there to help you take your power. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! In this story, it is important for the rescuer and the victim to give the villain his rightful place. The victimizer is showing them their mutual belief in evil. You have all taken your turns as the villain, whether consciously or not. You could not be in judgment of villains were you not also judging yourself. Whatever has been done to you, you have done to others. You are all in this story together, and all the parts are necessary. Embrace the victimizer within you with the unconditional love of your belly-mind.
Who is really stronger, the rescuer or the victim? The victim is confronting fears, while the rescuer may be denying them. Every human who has not recognized her divinity, her ascension, is a victim. That is the role she is playing. Those that recognize their victimhood have a chance for redemption. Those who believe in their role as a rescuer have little chance. Notice that in many of the rescuer stories there is a time of darkness for the hero. This is where the gold is hidden.
Notice when you attend spiritual groups that there are often more women present than men. The illusion of victimhood is more obvious for women in a patriarchal culture. Remember that being a victim is not your passport to ascension, but it often does lie between you and your awakening. Males who are successful in the material world have a particular challenge because they often have not experience themselves as victims. This is what Jesus meant when he said that it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. There is nothing random in the universe. There is purpose in everything. You are the creative power. Use the five-step process or whatever works for you to let go of victimhood, take responsibility, and recognize your divinity. Be your own hero.
God Blesses You,
Sanhia