How can pain be a gift?

The following was taken from a recent group session.

Sanhia: If the now includes a feeling of pain … that is perfect.

Participant One: It should be nice. but it is not nice. It is painful. If perfection is pain, then maybe it is perfect.

Sanhia: If there is the experience of pain, and the thought appears and is held onto that “I wish I weren’t feeling pain”, there is pain about pain. The wishing away of pain does not make anything better. The thought that it shouldn’t be here doesn’t change anything.

Participant One: I feel so embarrassed of being overwhelmed by the pain.

Sanhia: You can not change the event that triggered the pain. You cannot stop the feeling of grief. You can choose not to dwell on thoughts that the event should not have happened or that you should be reacting differently. These thoughts do not change what is. They certainly don’t help you feel better. So, you notice the thought is there and let it go. Continue with the feelings rather than with the thoughts. Whatever is here now is real. The thoughts want to take you somewhere else. Stay here. If pain is present, remain with the bodily sensations. You will be better off not even labelling these feelings. Notice what is felt and hang with it. One thing about the now… it is constantly changing. Stay with the feeling until it changes and then continue with what comes then. If you notice yourself wanting the feelings to move in any direction, let the thought go and allow the feelings the freedom to express or move however they wish to. Your body is an amazing healing machine. It will do whatever needs to be done if you simply let it do its job. What happens if you just stop exercising that muscle that wants things to be different and refuses to accept what is? One thing is certain; if you try to change what is to what you want it to be, you will fail.

Participant One: But it feels like I am failing at everything.

Sanhia: That thought comes from the ego mind belief that you are running the show. If you are not running the show, how can you possibly fail? Things simply are as they are. You didn’t create them that way. Why would you have if you had that ability? How self-destructive would you have to be to create what you absolutely don’t want? That is a crazy idea! You cannot change things; you cannot make them better. You wouldn’t even know what would truly be better. What is now is perfect. We know that because that is how it is. Let the energy of the mind be filled with letting it be, with finding gratitude, or with experiencing whatever feelings seem to block gratitude.

Participant One: But it feels like I must have chosen this on some level. I can’t tell if it is a gift or a disaster.

Sanhia: Precisely. You are powerless to change the situation but able to be present with it, to see it as it is without your thoughts. This is giving it to God. There is no need to understand why it is happening, to be able to see it as either a gift or a disaster. It simply is and you experience certain bodily sensations along with it. If you fight it, you fight God. You will “lose”, that is you won’t be able to change what is and you will experience pain in trying and failing.

Participant One: But I am going to have pain anyway.

Sanhia: Then accept that you have pain. Try not to give it a label, but experience what you are feeling without trying to change it or make it go away. Leave your personal will out of it.

Participant One: I can do lots of things to try to not focus on it. I can go to work, watch a film, call a friend.

Sanhia: I am going to speak to a part of your mind that will recall this talk from time to time. There will be a moment when you realize that everything is as it should be, that everything is perfect no matter how it feels, that there is no part of you that would ever want things to be any different. You will have the experience that everything that is here right now, without exception, is here to support you. There is nothing but life. So, in whatever way in this now you are able to stop resisting and look at life in the face as it is, you are opening up to having this as your constant awareness. On the other hand, every time you push the now away, say “take this cup away from me”, or want something else, you are prolonging the period of pain and agony. Pain is transitory. If you simply feel it, it will last a little while, morph, and then disappear. If you don’t face it, avoid it, or try to push it away, the pain will just hang around. You will drag out the suffering for a long time. I am planting these thoughts so that in any now they may float to the surface. You might ask why you are shooting yourself in the foot and will instead embrace whatever is there.

Participant One: I like the picture of the water which accompanies my Life Path number in my numerology chart. I feel like I am on the shore watching the water rush past. Why don’t I just jump in? Maybe I can do that. I can feel both the joy and the fear of jumping in.

Sanhia: I have been sharing some “Michael” stories with you of late. One thing that you might notice from them is that the things that encouraged him to let go of ego mind more than anything else were the times that were so hard to accept. He did not grow nearly as quickly when things worked out as he wanted them to. There was always value in those experiences as well, but the benefits tended to be more temporary. The things that were the most painful, those he did not want to have happen, were the ones that proved to be the greatest gifts. Right now, you can express gratitude for the gift without having a clue what the gift is. You can take time to really look at it and feel it instead of pushing it away.

Participant One: I understand.

Sanhia; You can decide to stop fighting what is. A nineteenth century Indian chief from a north-western American tribe, known as Chief Joseph, after watching his people repeatedly lied to and massacred by the American government, finally surrendered, stating, “I will fight no more forever”. He stopped fighting and accepted what was. Spirit/God will remove everything that stands in the way of your awakening, if necessary. Nothing real can be lost. For some people a great amount of loss, pain, and suffering is required before they decide to fight no more forever.

Participant One: (tears)

Sanhia: You can fight for seemingly forever, but you can stop fighting in an instant.

Participant One: I can feel where that fighting spirit is; it is right where the pain is.

Sanhia: Let’s play with this a little. Let’s say that you feel something that you call sadness. If possible, let the label go and just notice the feeling. Now it is another moment, and you notice the feeling is still there and you feel it in your heart chakra. Your mind wants to take over and explain why you are sad. Your situation is horrible, and anybody would be feeling sadness. You have now lost track of what is present and are instead watching/listening to an endless loop of the story. This mind view is all you are allowing yourself to experience in the now. Nobody is forcing you to keep your attention riveted to your story. This is your personal will acting. Rather than experience the freshness that the present always has, you are stuck in this endless loop. It’s a little like holding your breath. This is not so good for the health. Try paying attention to the fresh thought that comes as well as the fresh feeling. Notice but don’t hold on to it. There is a children’s game called hot potato. A roasted potato is tossed to you. If you hold on to it you will burn your hands, so you lob it to another who flips it to another and so on. Your thoughts are like hot potatoes. In the now you would not hold on or you would be burned.

Participant One: People keep reminding me of my story when I meet them. It’s hard for me to speak about what I’m going through.

Sanhia: You don’t have to share with them what is there, but for yourself – notice. They are reminding you to notice your now. If they seem to treat you as a “poor you”, that is your mirror. In any case you can thank them for asking but share only if you feel guided. This is your now. There is nothing you must do. You do as you are guided. If you feel a need to decide, know that your personal will is acting. When Spirit is ready to act, you will know. There will be no decision to make. It is not your job to make others feel that you are doing alright. Your job is ever simpler. It is just to be present with what moves now. Otherwise, you will have nothing to give to others but your pain and your fear.

You won’t always have your pain, but if you are willing to have it, to experience it, and to go where it leads you, it will have served its purpose. The bright light of love is always on the other side. The pain is necessary to burn away the clouds of your illusions, the untruths you hold about yourself and life. Let it do its valuable, irreplaceable job. The gift is always there. You deserve to feel the truth of your Divinity, which can only be found in this now.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit