How can I deal with my aging judgmental mother? | Sanhia on the Power of Projection

/in , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

(Taken from a Zoom group)

(click for audio on YouTube)


Good Now

Participant: I would like to go deeper into my childhood. Since my early years I remember my mother as a heavy drinker. I have a conflict with her but she wants to come live with me. I do not want that. She requires elderly care. I spend so much time arguing with and taking care of her. I have chosen to avoid most people these days. None of the people around me get what is happening with me. I have gone in a totally different direction than I previously had and from that in which others are going. 

What is your current direction? 

Participant: A self-knowing direction.

Knowing the truth about yourself? 

Participant: Yes, my friends and relatives don’t want to go in the same direction. They don’t understand what’s happening with me. But I choose this for myself. I don’t want to share anything with my mother because she doesn’t understand. I have moved to Ireland. She is going to have an operation and wants to stay with me afterwards, but I don’t want to see her or help her anymore. I have not yet communicated this to her because I don’t want to talk with her at all. She is selfish and only thinks of herself. I hate all the lies she says. She speaks one way when I am with her helping, but then says bad things about me behind my back to my sisters and other relatives. 

Your commitment is to finding the truth about yourself. There is no greater tool you can use for that than understanding how projection works. This does not require the involvement of anyone else. You simply become aware of when you have judgment of another. You acknowledge that this judgment is really about yourself; it is about a part of self that you don’t want to look at or admit to. You state your willingness to look at everything now. You have said that your mother is a liar; she is not honest with you. The question now becomes one of looking at how you lie and are not honest with yourself. What are you saying to yourself that is not true? Keep looking at that. You can look at specific things you have heard that she has said about you. If you didn’t hold some of those same judgments about yourself, they would not bother you. Look for the truth there. This is not about her; it is about you. What separates you from her and from your other friends in this moment of time is your willingness to look for the truth. Whatever you see in others is the truth of you as you believe or fear it to be. Now you can take that and go to work with it yourself. If you wish to, I can work with you here now to help you realize what has been spoken about using specific ideas or thoughts that you are holding. 

Participant: Yes, for sure.

Tell me a specific thing over which you are holding judgment about her. 

Participant: I judge that she had many relationships with men when I was a child. I judge that she was a heavy drinker and she was beating me. She did not give me the love that I needed. She did not spend enough time with me. 

Notice how the mind is working on two different sides here. On one hand she was drunk, beating you, and didn’t love you. On the other hand, she didn’t spend enough time with you. There is a confusion here. Why would you desire someone to spend more time with you who didn’t love you, and was drunk and was beating you? Perhaps separation from all of that might be welcomed. Maybe somewhere in your thoughts was the belief that you deserved the punishment, and that you weren’t worthy of her love. Here are two issues to look at deeply. These are beliefs that you hold that have nothing to do with her. If it had nothing to do with you, if you knew of your innocence and Divine lovability, you could look upon your mother with compassion, noticing that she seemed incapable of loving herself, as someone who drank to hide from her negative thoughts and feelings. You might have compassion for the projections that she aimed at those around her – not that it is your responsibility to heal or change her, but to feel love and support for her despite what she was doing to herself. The inability to spontaneously react in such a fashion happened because as a child you bought into and believed in the reflections your mirror was showing to you. You thought that you were guilty and deserved punishment. You believed you were not worthy of love. Now it is time to look at the truth of all of this. You have been holding those beliefs since childhood. What do you think you are guilty of?

Participant: I don’t know. 

What did your mother say you were guilty of when you were young? Why were you punished?

Participant: I caused all of her problems. 

Can you be more specific?

Participant: She told me that before me she had a son, but he died. Then I appeared. The death was my fault, she told me. Everything that happened was my fault. I, along with my sisters, destroyed her life. I don’t know what she meant specifically, but we were always judged. 

Let me ask a few simple questions. Did you choose for your brother to die? Do you remember doing that? Were you responsible for that? 

Participant: No.

So, you have believed this thought that came from outside of you, that you are responsible for your brother’s death. But it just happened, in fact it happened before this body that you are connected with had even formed. Notice how you have accepted this untruth, and allowed it to drive your life. You have accepted the judgment and guilt for something you had nothing to do with. Connected with this is the thought that you must be a really bad person to have done such a thing. Notice that those thoughts are there. Notice the feelings that surround them. But let go of the thought that they are true, that you have any responsibility there. 

Another question. Do you remember choosing to be born to this mother? Do you have that memory? 

Participant: I understand that I have chosen this, but I don’t know what I have to learn here.

But do you recall actually choosing this or is it just a belief that you have done so?

Participant: I don’t remember that I chose this.

Then could we just say that this birth happened? This was not a choice. It just happened. If this was not your choice you cannot be responsible for ruining anybody’s life. We would suggest that you aren’t that powerful. Not only do you have no power over your mother or your brother’s lives, but you have no control over your own. If you were choosing your mother, would she be an alcoholic who beat you? Your ego mind is giving you powers that you don’t have. They are simply not true. 

Participant: Why am I thinking I am responsible then?

You were taught this as a child. This is no different than having a parent tell you that you have to work hard and make sacrifices to get ahead in life. As an adult you still believe many things you were taught as a child. What matters is not that she said what she said, but that you believed it and your life is still run by that. As we have looked at this, the belief is craziness. You can’t possibly be responsible. However, perhaps behind all of this it could be that you brought that guilt in with you. Perhaps you had previously accepted that you were guilty, judged, and deserving of punishment, that you brought all that into this life with you. Can that be the truth of you? If everything is of God, how could you be less than Divine? How can God create anything that is not of love? These are questions to investigate deeply. Everything that comes into your life is from God; it is not your choice. It is there to help you realize the truth of yourself. It is a gift. Your job is to accept these gifts; accept what is rather than wishing it was some other way. You had exactly the perfect mother. She was what she was and she wasn’t what she wasn’t. She was the right mother to support you in your awakening process. You have no control over any of this, but that is good. If you could choose whatever you wanted, you wouldn’t know what to choose. It is being done for you. Relax and enjoy the ride. You are always supported in realizing what your heart truly desires.

There can be a process of forgiveness for yourself. You can forgive yourself for self judgment over your brother’s death and ruining your mother’s life. Forgive yourself for believing that you deserved punishment. 

Participant: I have to forgive myself. I have been destroying myself and creating suffering all of these years because of these beliefs. 

Allow yourself to feel what it would be like to know that you are absolutely innocent of everything. You can be free of all the pain and suffering right now because nobody is doing that to you but you. Nobody has the power to stop you from letting it all go. 
 
Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit                      

All Rights Reserved © 2026  Channels Without Borders
Feel free to share this with friends

Why can I never reach my goals? | Sanhia on Why Success Never Satisfies

/in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

(click for audio on YouTube)

(Taken from a Zoom group)

Good Now!

Participant: I’m having a really hard time. It feels like the longer I am alive, the more I feel aware of being profoundly damaged and misguided. I’m supremely confused because I feel like I’ve been blessed – or cursed – with tremendous gifts, and feel a responsibility to bring them out into the world. However, I feel that my path is consistently blocked and unsupported. It’s like life keeps wanting me to sit on my hands; every effort that I put out into the world fails to bear fruit. It’s really painful. I feel ashamed of feeling I have problems because I’m equally aware that I am blessed and have a lot of grace. I don’t know if there is something in my ego coming from a place of desperation instead of pure inspiration. Everything feels like an abortion or a stillborn. There is all of this enthusiasm and vision; I put a lot of effort out into the world and express my vision, but I don’t get any support. It seems that all of my projects are much bigger than me; they require a team to manifest. Then the energy dissipates and I’m left by myself, spinning my wheels. I am disheartened and feel thwarted at every turn and don’t feel proud of myself. I want to feel proud of myself because I think I’m a good person with a lot of beauty to contribute. People say they want to participate and then they disappear. I feel like Sisyphus with the boulder, and then I retreat back into nothingness. This can’t be right. I’m alone most of the time and not nearly as productive and creative as I want to be. How come Michael gets to put something out in the world and gets to manifest it and people show up and pay for it? Why can’t I have that? Why can’t I have the thing that I want to do be embraced by the world? It doesn’t make any sense to me. I work so hard on being positive and being grateful. I recognize that everything is divine grace and I am so fortunate to exist, but in my mind’s eye I see this prolific person, energy is flowing and I’m out in the world and doing things and sharing my gifts. But that’s not my experience. I wake up nearly every day with dark thoughts, hating my life. I have to spend a lot of time redirecting myself, feeling gratitude, and being patient and gentle with myself. But it’s boring and it hurts. It doesn’t make any sense to me. I feel like I’m being punished or cursed. I don’t know what I’m doing. Why? (tears)

You may be familiar with the expression “with strings attached.” Someone gives something, but not freely. There is an expectation of a return gift or that it be used in a certain way. God has no strings attached to any gift that you receive. There are no expectations that they be used or not used in any particular way. Not even an expression of gratitude is required. Any string that you feel is yours. You have placed it there. Notice that. You are the only one holding an expectation for yourself. 

Participant: Why shouldn’t I? I have been given gifts. Why can’t I share them?

You are free to share them, but it is not required. Feeling that you need to only brings you pain and suffering. Then you project this neediness onto others by holding strings for them. They should receive and enjoy your gifts. If they don’t appear to do this there is, again, pain and suffering. It is the ego mind that sets goals, wants to achieve things, and wishes to be loved and appreciated. The ego mind is never satisfied. It always wants more. The peace and love you seek is not in the world; it is within you. You are bigger than the world. It can never fill that void. The ego mind thinks it knows who you are and what you should be doing. That “knowledge” has not done much for you. Instead of “knowing”, you can look within to find out who you are. You can ask. You can search. You can step back and ask who wants to know. Who is watching your life unfold? If you allow the focus on this question to be of supreme importance, the goals and rantings of the ego mind will atrophy. The ego mind says that you are such a failure. Ask who is such a failure. Who is thinking that? Who is noticing? Notice that thoughts and feelings arise, but then try to notice who is noticing. Notice the thoughts, but don’t chase after them. Be aware of the feelings but don’t try to rationalize, understand, or escape from them. Thoughts and feelings come, but do you choose any of them? You don’t wake up choosing to feel depressed and not wanting to face the day. If you had the power to choose you would wake up radiant, excited for the possibilities the day would bring. You didn’t choose these thoughts. Where do they come from? Who knows? All that can be known is that you are not responsible. You could say that this is the gift the Divine has brought this morning. Give thanks and take a close look at it. This is not happening to you. It is simply happening. Who is noticing that? 
                                                                                                                                                 

Participant:  It just feels like so much work. Why is it this way? Why do I have to struggle every single day?

You are speaking for 99 per cent of the people in the world. 

Participant: Which makes this life a nightmare instead of the blessing it should be.

Here is the difference. Most of the ninety-nine per cent say that that is just the way it is. They have no awareness of nor desire to find another way. But that’s not where you are. It feels like hell, but that’s because you are in-between. You are straddling two worlds. You are aware of the spiritual awakening and that the world is a blessing. At the same time, you are drawn to the ego promises of heaven on earth. Sooner or later the choice will be made to let go of the ego. The Divine door has been opened to you. Good luck in ever getting that one shut again. Meanwhile there is hell, which is its own motivator. You are being pulled in opposite directions and feel torn apart. If becoming constantly aware of which voice you are listening to feels too hard, just pay attention to what is here. Use your senses. You love to sing, so sing. If you want an audience go to the park or the subway or the mall or anywhere you can give people an opportunity to stop and listen. The whole awakening process accelerates when you truly get that the ego goals will never bring you the love and peace you desire. 

Participant: It sounds like you are talking about being content being retired as opposed to feeling like there is something that I’m supposed to be or do. 

You asked why Michael gets to be successful with his business. This is his reaction to retirement: “Thank God I can get up each day and just do whatever I want.” 

Participant: But he plans these meetings in advance and sends out emails and is able to fund apps and other things. There is certainly action that takes place in 3D.

He does what he does because that is his joy and passion. He plans things because in the moment it feels that he would love doing them. Sometimes things are planned and nobody responds. No problem. Sometimes plans are offered to him out of the blue. If one person wants to talk, he says, “When?”. I have told him to ask for money. He doesn’t get rich; the business has yet to show a profit and he works for free. But money is there to publish books, have a website and a YouTube channel.  He doesn’t worry about money. He keeps track of it, but being a CPA was once an unrealized passion for him. He simply trusts that the Universe will take care of everything. He’s happy talking with a half a dozen people, but if the universe wants to put him in front of large audiences, he’ll try that out. What is important is his own daily dialogue with life. Interesting things always happen. This is not where Michael has always been. There was a time when he wanted worldly success, too. Keep your eye on the prize of awakening. Nothing else matters.
        
Participant: I once participated in a conference where one of the speakers, an author of “Chicken Soup for the Soul”, said that if God put this idea in your head, how dare you not honor it? I struggle because I have been given global vision but doubt my ability to do it. I get these large visions, deal with all my stuff about being able to do it and then taking the plan to the world. But I don’t get any level of traction under it and it feels like there is something fundamentally wounded in me that sabotages the manifestation. I’d rather not get the global vision if I can’t deliver it. Occasionally things happen but I mostly feel utterly underutilized. 

Let’s look more closely at what this guidance from God is. The thought is that God put this idea in your head so you should carry it out. You don’t seem to be able to bring the plan into fruition. Isn’t that also from God? 

Participant: Then I feel like he’s fucking with me. 

Again, God’s gifts don’t come with strings. There are no shoulds in Divinity. The question is, “What is really the truth of what you want?”

Participant: I want divine collaboration with others in a shared vision. 

Why do you want that?

Participant: Because it feels enlivening.

So, you don’t feel alive?

Participant: No, I feel flat. 

Aliveness is within you, not outside in the world.  

Participant: It’s also said that no man is an island, and these visions are much bigger than me. They aren’t anything that I can deliver by myself. 

We come back to the question of what is the truth of you. 

Participant: She seems to be a well-meaning struggling character in the divine play. That doesn’t feel right to me.

Let’s go deeper into this. Who is it that is seeing you and making judgments about your life? Where is this ego that is watching and evaluating?

Participant: In my mind? 

Where is your mind?

Participant: I think it is in my head, but I don’t know for sure. 

So, you are your body then. Without your body and your head there would be no awareness of anything?

Participant: It seems that way. It’s confusing to manifest in physical form and keep awareness in the oneness – as opposed to enjoying the deliciousness of the illusion of separation, the getting to be a distinct character with specific desires and preferences and idiosyncrasies as part of the game here. It feels alienating to be hanging out in the oneness when the rest of the world is running around being individuals. 

In the play each character gets to have all of that and yet knows that this is just a role and not the truth of who she is. Letting go of ownership of the body and control of the script does not mean that there is no longer a distinctive personality. It does not mean separation and aloneness and lack of participation in the game of life. In fact, there is a greater aliveness and fearlessness in throwing yourself into the game because there is nothing to lose. There is nowhere to get to, just the playing of the game. You are able to do all of that because you know that the truth of you is not this character. It is simply the role being played. Do you believe you actually are this character?

Participant: I think so. 

Sooner or later this physicalness that you think you are will die. Will you no longer exist then? 

Participant: Seems that way. It also seems like the story of death may or may not be true. If we arrive at an incarnation that we really love, we should be able to hang out in it indefinitely. 

And you have met lots of people who are doing that, right?

Participant: No, I haven’t. (laughs). I haven’t met a lot of people who think like I do. 

This question comes back to the question of whether you are this character or simply observing this character. 

Participant: I must be someone observing this character. I think that the observer is rooting for the character to achieve her dreams. 

Who is observing the observer rooting for the character? Let’s use the metaphor of film. The character is the film and the observer is the audience. No amount of rooting is going to make any difference on what happens on the screen. The character will act and react and events will happen as they do. The audience has zero control. 

Participant: I thought I was the writer/director. 

If that were the case, why are you not writing a script where the character exceeds her dreams?

Participant: I don’t know! That is the whole point!

Apparently you are not the author. If you don’t like that, who is noticing that? Stand back further. 

Participant: The executive producer? (laughing)

And behind that is who?

Participant: Oooooh! God! (much laughing). God is behind me. This is when they talk in the Bible about the vengeful god. This is who I’m grappling with. He’s fucking with me. 

We have another term for that. We call it projection. You see a vengeful god because you don’t want to see a guilty, vengeful self. This allows you to absolve yourself of some guilt, but leaves you a helpless victim. Who can possibly be victorious over that super hero. 

Participant: Why am I sabotaging myself?

That is the question. Let’s go inside and take a look. The ego mind wants to frame everything around the question, “Why is that happening?”. If the truth is that you are doing it, the question becomes: “Who am I?” and “Why am I doing this?” 

Participant: Earlier you said that I have no control.

That was referring to ego you, not the Divine you. If the truth of who you are is the beloved child of God, created in the image of the Creator, who is the you who is pretending not to be that? Who is saying, “Daddy doesn’t approve of me”? Who is saying, “Bad girl. I have given you all of these gifts and you have squandered them”? That is simply the ego mind judging herself and finding her to be unworthy. Daddy says, “We love you no matter what you do. You cannot disappoint Us. There are no strings attached. You are free to do whatever you wish each day. Nothing controls you. The past doesn’t matter. The future is taken care of. Just enjoy what is here.”  Who is this character who refuses this gift saying she’s not good enough, she’s not deserving, she has to prove her worth? The ego mind thinks it knows what life should look like and if it doesn’t then something is wrong. On the contrary, life is always bringing exactly the perfect thing. It could be no other way because it is all of God. Yet, ego mind refuses to accept it; won’t even look at it; certainly, doesn’t open it up and try it on. Ego you refuses to recognize Divine you that is sending these gifts. 

Participant: So how do I get out of my own way? 

Give up. Give up all of the goals and dreams and thoughts of what should be and how you should be. Instead look around to see what is actually here now. What does Divine you have for “little” you today? 

Participant: So, I am good enough for this perfect, divine moment, whatever it should be.

It’s exactly as it should be, bringing what you truly want. 

Participant: So, this is what I truly want, even though it doesn’t look like what I think it should. 

For example, you spent how many years trying to do and be and have something that didn’t work as you thought you wanted it to. But you are Divine, so apparently what you were telling yourself you wanted wasn’t what you truly desired. If it was, it would have come. If you want to feel loved, you won’t feel that by being successful. As they say, the same people who kissed your ass on the way up will kick your butt on the way down. They don’t love you. Love cannot be earned. If you want to feel love, then love. Love yourself. Look inside at all the ego beliefs you have about unlovability. Where did they come from. You have been programmed. Look for the truth of your innocence, your Divine nature. Love every moment, everything that is in your life. Be absolutely present. See the beauty all about you. Nothing has to happen for you to feel loved. How can you watch a bird or the clouds without feeling the love of God? 

Participant: So, I am misguided.

Yes, but you are not alone. You have plenty of company. It is not a failing. Everyone else is as miserable as you are. Many are good at hiding it. Thinking that they feel happy and successful is your projection. You don’t have to continue to follow the misguidance. Again, the mind thinks it knows what it wants, but reaching those goals will not bring feelings of peace and love and joy in each moment. Those feelings are available to you right here, right now regardless of what you are doing or what is happening. Go directly for your true desires, not for things you think will lead you there. Those are always mirages. Each day when you awaken, look around and see what is here right now. Forget plans or worrying about what you did or didn’t do yesterday. Take your time. Experience your world with all of your senses. Should you become aware of something you wish to do, do it. Check to see that the doing comes from passion, not from getting some result. If disconcerting thoughts or emotions are there, let them be present. Don’t choose to act on or feed the thoughts. Don’t try to stop, bury, rationalize, or change the feelings. Just watch them. See how they mutate. Constantly. Forever. None of this is your creation. Relax and enjoy the show. 

Participant: So, what do you take action on? What is inspired action?

When you have passion. When it is absolutely clear. When you just know. When it is connected only to the doing, not to a result. Doing this right now brings joy right now. 

Participant: So, you are saying to just do whatever there is an impulse to do in the moment and not judge it, not evaluate whether it is getting me closer.

If you have passion for it, thank God for this gift in this moment. There is nothing to get closer to. Imagine each moment of your life spent in living out your passion. 

Participant: So, there is just doing what is joyful. If I have to chase after it, it’s not for me.

Unless there is joy in the chase.

Participant: There is no joy in the chase. 
 
There will be enough things that come into your life that might be a challenge to accept. Why choose extra stuff? 
 
Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit                      

All Rights Reserved © 2026  Channels Without Borders

Feel free to share this with friends

What can I do about my anger? | Sanhia on Why You Can’t Fix Your Anger (And Don’t Need To)   

/in , , , , , , , , , ,

                                     (click for audio on YouTube)

             (Taken live from a recent Spiritual Awareness Zoom group)

Good Now!

If you find yourself living in the present moment without a story, just with life as it is now – which is how it has always been, except that you’re looking at your story – if you let go of the story and you’re just with now, there couldn’t possibly be a story of “Why did I wait so long?” There is no time; there is just now. “Why is it like this?” Because that’s how it is. There is no why about it. “Why didn’t I wake up to this sooner?” You simply didn’t. That’s how it was. It is as it is. You would never step back and say, “Give me that old life.” Once that opening happens there is no turning back; there is just more opening and more opening. What could give more excitement to life than knowing there is always going to be more opening? Five years ago, you could not have visualized how you feel now, and you cannot visualize how you will feel five years from now. But perhaps that’s okay and you realize of course you can’t know because there is just now, and there isn’t anything particular to do because life is doing the doing. You’re just along for the ride. That part of the mind that thinks it’s in control and has to do things is absolutely crazy. It has no control. That’s probably a good idea because if it did have control, it would have no idea what to do with it. If you had known twenty years ago what you know now, then, obviously, life would have been different over that time. Twenty years ago, you didn’t know what was possible so you couldn’t even choose it. That’s where all of you are right now. No idea of what is possible. So instead of letting life, this enormous organic whole, do what it’s going to do no matter what you do, you choose to go into your story and let it guide and direct you, creating an enormous job of figuring out what to do that is not only unnecessary and unneeded, but is also doomed to fail. So, then you end up exhausted and hopeless and helpless. And meanwhile, all around you is heaven. 

Participant 1: But it seems, you know, when it’s good it’s good but when you have those experiences which you don’t like and you don’t prefer – it makes… AAAARG…you get angry, frustrated. It’s so difficult in those moments to say, “Oh yeah. Thank you life. Everything’s perfect. I love it”. 

The mind has a picture of what perfection should look like. And if it doesn’t look like that, there is resistance and judgment and the thought that this is not right, this is not how it should be. But it is how it is. There is nothing you can do to change that. So, you are fighting a fight that you can’t win because it already is what it is. In your non-acceptance and in your fighting it, you separate from God. You separate from the oneness, from the wholeness. Take a deep breath and ask what it is. If it’s not what you think it should be, what is it? What is here now? One of the benefits of getting older is you have had more experiences of how your resistance and your trying to choose and set goals has not worked for you. When you are younger you may be more likely to be optimistic and say, “Oh, I can do anything”. 

Participant 1: So, I guess the answer is: “There is a situation that I don’t like. I see it. I notice that there is something that my mind says should be different. I should act differently. So, what do I do? I breathe in; I breathe out. I say, ‘Okay to what I see here”. And then it might take me to that, ‘Oh, I see the situation’…and then I feel angry…or hopeless”.

First of all, the situation you are resisting is no longer happening now. It has happened. So, what’s going on is that you are in a story, but you are acting with all of the programming from throughout your life to this kind of story. It no longer has anything to do with what is here right now. Maybe it’s a beautiful sunny day but all you see are clouds. You’re not present, even if it’s a recent story. So, what’s here right now? Someone seems to be upsetting you; are they in the room right now? What is here now? Is there a person here or people? Why is your attention not with what is here now, with the people who are present, instead of in your mind with a story of people who aren’t even existing in your now? Notice what is here. React to it. 

Participant 1: Let’s talk about the repeating situation, not like a once in a lifetime situation. What if the situation is not here, but I have this feeling about it, so I have to bring myself back?

Then you have a feeling, and that’s here. But your mind wants to say that you are having this feeling because of this, this, and this. Not true. You are just having a feeling. The mind is saying that you don’t want to have this feeling, that it’s uncomfortable and you just want to get rid of it. How can you change it so that you feel better? This is not accepting the now. This is wanting to resist and to change it. Let that feeling be there. Nothing to heal here. If it is raining outside, do you need to heal the rain? The sun will return sooner or later, but not because you’ve healed the rain. There is nothing to heal here. There is a feeling. Let it be there. Feel it. Let go of control. Don’t try to heal it. Don’t try to justify it or find the cause.

Participant 1: Then it means that when the feeling changes, another feeling rises up, and another story in my mind, and another feeling, so it’s like perpetual modulation. So, what is here now, then? 

Let the feelings be there and try not to pay much attention to the stories. 

Participant 1: How come they are never true? 

Because the mind is a politician. (laughter) It is, by definition, incapable of telling the truth. It always has an ulterior motive. Basically, the mind’s motives are to do this to feel safe, to be loved, and to release guilt, but it tries to find other reasons because it doesn’t want you to look directly at those motives. So, it tends to project. You have this problem because…well men, you know how they are, or you have this problem because of your boss…well you know how they are, or you have this problem because of your parent…well you all had parents. The mind never really wants to look at what’s there. If it was willing to look at this all being about you feeling unloved, you could begin to look at the truth of that. 

Participant 2: What about emotions? Where do they belong? Is that part of ego mind going crazy? How can we find out what’s what here?

I don’t want you to take this as a literal truth, but the emotions are primarily a natural healing, balancing energy. The mind makes insane choices, self-destructive choices. There is an emotional reaction to that. It’s a balancing energy, like a storm balances the energy in the air and the earth. Likely, as the mind becomes less active, there will be less emotional reaction also. But while it’s there, let it rip. It’s not to understand; it’s just to be. One of the things that you expressed concern about is that if there aren’t goals and such, then all this excitement that comes about reaching the goal would be missing. That kind of a high is a bipolar energy.  Everybody is bipolar. When there is a high up, then there is a high down – or a low down. Stop trying to be somewhere else. Stop having goals. 

Participant 1: And it’s also stop trying to be different than you are.

Participant 2: What am I?

That’s again one of the ego games, one of the lies. “I’m trying to decide who I am”. Then you choose a picture of somebody who you think is more developed or advanced than you are. That has nothing to do with being yourself, because there is no other you. 

Participant 2: But are you saying that the way to come to that point is to see the recordings we have and let go of them?

Let me give you an example. How many of you have a thought that if you were a really, really developed spiritual, good, loving person – you would never get angry? Anger is wrong.

Participant 1: Okay, maybe not never but not that harsh…a little bit more balanced.

Not how you are, but how your mind is telling you, through whatever programming it has had, how you should be. You should never be worried. Never be depressed. How many “should” or “shouldn’ts” are in there in this picture of how the evolved, advanced you would be? Then you try to train yourself out of these traits.

Participant 1: Yes, I feel exactly this way, what you are saying.

There was.an American man who became a spiritual leader. He had a guru in India, and he said to this teacher, “One thing I admire about you is that you are so patient and calm. Nothing seems to upset you.” His teacher responded, “Yes but I was that way long before. That’s just my nature. My teacher would express enormous anger. He would say that he wasn’t angry but that sometimes anger was present. So, it is present. There is an expression. It is gone. That’s it.” If you have the thought, “I don’t want to be an angry person”, then there is a story and you remember that and you feel guilty and judge yourself.

Participant 1: I’m that kind of person who gets angry a lot and I don’t like it. I really don’t. It seems to my last breath I’m going to try to change myself here. I cannot accept that it is normal, that it is okay to be this way. I don’t think I can just say, “Yeah, I am how I am”. 

Relax with it. Give up the ownership of it – “I am an angry person.” Let go of the definition of yourself as an angry person. Sometimes anger is present. Is it always present?

Participant 1: Not always present, but it is sometimes, quite often, and it’s not just anger, anger. Its fucking anger.

Simply notice, “Ho. Anger is present.” If you don’t notice it being there until the anger is no longer present, you can then say, “Anger was present”. Did you choose it?

Participant 1: No

You have no control over it whatsoever. That’s what makes you so angry. (laughter) 

Participant 1: Yes, at times I would like to choose.

Obviously it is not your fault because if it was, you wouldn’t choose it. So, what you are doing is rubbing your own face in it, instead of just expressing your anger whenever it is there. You are judging yourself for being a horrible person for having it. So, you have two things going on: the anger and the judgment about the anger. Notice what happens when you see the judgment going on and say no, that you don’t want to do that. And maybe for a while not only is anger present, but also judgment is present. 

Participant 1: Yeah, those two come together, always.

And guilt is present, too. Simply noticing what is. You didn’t choose it. So, what’s here now? Let’s look at what is here now.

Participant 1: That judgment, the guilt, and then probably we can see something nice. 

When you are not judging yourself and you are not feeling guilty, then you can see what is nice. The story, whether it is “I am angry”, “I’m judging”, or “I’m guilty” – dig deep in there and what’s underneath is probably the same old things; “I’m not lovable” and “I’m not safe”. When you know that you are lovable and safe, what is left to be judged? You have a unique personality which will not change once you let go of your story. You still will have your you. Maybe someone is taking an action in the world that is hurtful to someone else. Maybe the anger just expresses to that. Maybe that person needed to hear that anger, to notice what they were choosing and how they were acting. But the anger just expresses. You don’t have to know why. You don’t have to have a justification. Some people might respond by walking over and hugging the other; some would respond by yelling. There is no rightness or wrongness about either action. But when you think you should or shouldn’t be in a certain way, that’s when you are not you. You are a picture of who you think you should be. And you will never be that person. You will always fail to be someone else, but you can absolutely succeed at being you. 

Participant 2: So, what is oneness?

Oneness is everyone being their unique self, together.  It all fits. Perfectly. 

Participant 1: But then I have this thought of why should I have to be the angry person in the room? That’s not fair. 

Because you have the judgment about your anger.

Participant 1: And it’s a good one.

You probably, as you are observing anger in others, have noticed that if they are expressing anger in a way that you deem as inappropriate, maybe undeserved, maybe bullying – you feel anger about their anger. But if you see somebody expressing anger and you think to yourself that the receiver of the anger deserved it, then you are like this about the anger: “YEAH!!” Is that true?

Participant 1: I guess so. It’s not that I’m against anger period. 

Unless it is yours.

Participant 1: Yes. (laughs) I don’t like anger in myself. 

It pisses you off…

Participant 1: Oh yeah. I cannot choose either. Sometimes I feel hopeless and sometimes I feel furious even more. I would like to go deeper into that question about finding ourselves. When I’m in a deep meditation, I have realizations, so I would like to ask if those realizations are from ego mind or do they come from our true self? What is it?

Notice how it feels to you. Does it stir you up or does it calm you down? This thing of learning to hear your inner guidance, my best advice is to follow what comes rather than trying to judge or analyze. Let go of thoughts of is this the truth for now and forever. It’s your guidance in this moment. Act on it and let it go. See what is there now. 

Participant 2: What do you mean by letting go?

Letting go of the belief that this is just the truth, because looking for the truth is just like looking for meaning. You’ll never know if you have it or not, but if you ever have it, you’ll never be able to explain it. So, you can say this is an approximation that’s your guidance for right now. A week later is it still the guidance? Hmmm, listen…feel it out. You acted on that guidance and you experienced what was in the world as you acted in that way. Your mind thinks that there is a story going on here and you are progressing, you are growing. But what’s really happening is simply that you are being reprogrammed every day by everything that happens. In some ways you hardly recognize yourself from the self you felt to be ten years ago. Maybe some of the root parts of your story aren’t still there as much as they once were. So, you get guidance in the now to do something, you do it, and then you let that story go and be in the present and see what’s there now. If you hold the guidance as being how things should be from now on, it’s no different than defining yourself as an angry person. 

Participant 2: Do you say that there is not a truth to look for? Most of us on a spiritual path are looking for the truth, so you say there is no truth? 

There is a corollary feeling with this guidance. If you feel a passion, follow it. Trust that passion.

Participant 1: Yes, I feel that passion.

Ultimately it might be said that being awakened might be about living in passion in every moment, and not forcing yourself to do something because you think you should. 

Participant 1: I just do it. The action comes with feeling. 

Then it is not about result; it’s about the doing. If it is about result, there will always be some selling out of the truth of it to get to the result. The results do not matter. A hundred years from now you will be dead, nobody will remember that you were around, and nothing you did will mean anything to anyone. The only thing that really makes a difference to anyone is this moment. This moment has nothing to do with where it might lead to. It has to do with this moment. That is all that this channeling amounts to. There is no place to get to. There is just the expressing of what wants to be expressed in this moment, and no idea what will come next. There is no concern about how it will be received, whether it is accepted, rejected, judged, or kicked around the room. That’s none of your business. You are free to do anything you want with everything that comes into this moment. That means you never have to respond in any certain way. Never.


Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit                      

All Rights Reserved © 2026  Channels Without Borders

Feel free to share this with friends

Can you talk more about the personal self not existing? Part 1 | Sanhia on Waking Up from the Story of You

/in , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

(click for audio on YouTube)

(recorded from a live session)

The ego mind has its own definition of perfection, and it only, occasionally, accidentally bumps up against the perfection that is. Part of that picture of perfection often is that the ego mind fully understands what is going on. But the ego mind never understands what is going on. It can’t because it is insane. It feels that it is real and it thinks that you are separate from the One. And it feels it has a mind of its own that should be listened to. Einstein once said, “The mind that created the problem is incapable of creating the solution”. You can rest easily with not understanding. Understanding is the function of the ego mind. Knowing is the function of Spirit. So, when you know, it is beyond understanding. There is no explaining why you know or what you know; you just know. There is certainty. That is why when you follow the will of God there is no choice. You just know. If you think there is choice, then you are in the ego mind trying to figure it out. And, as I like to say, good luck with that, because it doesn’t matter what you choose. We’ll talk more about these experiences of noticing, being what you think of as you, but noticing. What kind of experiences? And so you find that the world doesn’t disappear if you wait and don’t make a decision. What is important? If there is fear in the now, then that is what’s in the now. That is the gift. But it is not something to be overcome. 

Participant: Coming up distrust. Sometimes it is painful and I can feel it is so hard not to project it. I can see when I project. It is like abandoning myself. Even though I see all of this it’s really hard to let it go. There is some ego voice that is so angry, or very loud. So it’s really a roller coaster. And there is another thing that is very important, that’s about my karmic eight. What an enormous ego power it has. How my impulse is really driven by this controlling bitch. That is also an important insight. 

The place that we want to come back to is this place where there is no you. If there is no you, then there are no stories. Then there is no karmic eight. That’s a story. You can deal with all of the stories. You have found in another discipline that you could deal with your feelings and deal with your feelings, and the bucket is bottomless. You never reach the end of it. There is always another feeling. There is always something else. If there is fear it works better to accept it than to resist it. But, who is having this fear? As long as you believe there is a you who has fear, you will have fear. But there is no you having this fear. That is the illusion. Go. You look and notice that there is something noticing the story; whatever it might be, that is not the story. It’s simply noticing the story. No different than if you are watching a film on the television. You are noticing that story but you are not the story. So the question continually is, “Who is noticing this?”, and, “Where is this noticer?”  If you keep looking at that and looking at that, if you think you have found the noticer, “Who is noticing the noticer you have found?”  There is a step back and a step back, but there is no forwards and backwards so we are just saying that in a metaphorical sense that there is a step back until there is simply noticing. No noticer, simply noticing. 

Participant: What does that mean? The difference?

When you are watching a film, say on the television, you are noticing. First of all, you are noticing it is all projected on the screen. It’s not real; it’s not happening in your living room. You are simply noticing a projection on the screen. Where there is a character on the screen, you are noticing the character but you are not saying that’s me. But in the screen that you call your life, you are pretending that the character that you call “you” on the screen is real. But it’s not. It’s an actor that you are watching. You can practice when you’re watching the television screen and notice where you project yourself into any of the characters – either through thinking, “Oh, they are a good character”, or “Oh, they are a bad character”, or “Oh, they shouldn’t do that”, or “What are they thinking?”, and so on. Notice that there is projection going on. It’s not real. You turn it off and everything is gone. Nothing is there. Or you can turn it back on and watch the same episode over and over and over. Does it change? It’s just a projection on a screen. So you can practice with that and notice where you are giving reality to what is on the screen. 

Participant: Now when I have experienced so much physical pain it feels so real because you can’t get away from it, or you can take a painkiller but then everything is gone. 

Now you are projecting on your screen. Is there pain present in the now? 

Participant: That is a memory I am talking about. 

But that is what I am talking about. A memory is not the now. It’s not real. It’s not happening. 

Participant: I couldn’t handle that in that way when it was there. And that’s why I bring it up – to get some guidance around it. 

In the now there may be an experience and your mind might label that experience pain. When it labels pain and names it, then it moves out of the now and allows all of the stories of pain that the mind is holding on to, to be experienced in the now. Not simply what is in the now, but the whole idea of pain and everything around it. For example, a thought comes in, “Aw (breathes deeply), what if the pain keeps getting worse and worse?” “What if it gets to a point where I absolutely can’t stand it?” “What if it never stops?” “What is the meaning of this? Is this a punishment for me?” “What have I done?!” “What’s the lesson I’m supposed to learn? What’s the message? Spirit tell me what’s the message! Why am I having this pain?” The mind goes into all of this craziness that has nothing to do with the now. It’s going off in all of these directions instead of simply noticing the sensation, which is not pain. Pain is a word. You don’t experience a word. So you experience something in the body. So you go into it and you just experience nothing but that; let the mind go. Doesn’t matter what it’s about, where it came from, why it’s there, how long – it’s just what is here right now. And so you say, “Thank you Spirit; this is what is here right now”. And you experience it. And if the mind goes a little bit nuts and it’s more than you can tolerate, then take a painkiller. (laughter). There is no right or wrong about it. And then the next time the sensation comes, it’s a new experience. It’s a new now. But you are with the feeling, not with the thought of the feeling, not with the label of the feeling, but just the feeling. I want you to notice the resistance you have to simply letting it be there. 

Participant: Yeah. I see that. 

And so, for example, you project that.

Participant: Yeah, I have noticed that. And it’s one thing to notice it, but it’s not so easy to stop it. 

Yes, but noticing comes first. If you don’t notice it, it goes on forever. And the second thing you do – you can’t stop these thoughts from coming up but you say, “Ooh, but I’m not going to act on that now. Just going to notice that it’s there.”  

Participant: Then I get a little bit shamed about, “I’m so bad I can’t deal with this”, and so there is judgment on myself and…

It’s all the same thing. Judgment is not of the now. Judgment is comparison to what the mind thinks should be there. And the mind’s crazy. 

Participant: There is this fear of letting it go because then there is this abyss. That is so scary. (laughs) Scares the shit out of me. 

So where is this abyss? 

Participant: Yeah. (laughs) Where is the fear? From where does it come? If I accept it then it just takes over. So that is why there is some fighting against it. 

It already has taken over. (laughter) You’ve been letting it take over, empowering it all of your life. They say that the horse is already out of the barn. The thought of the mind always is dual. There is good and there is bad. Only the good is of God; the bad is not. And of course where you fit in, the you you think of as you, you’re on the bad side. 

Participant: I am? (laughs) 

Always. Trying to be good. “God look at how good I’m being. I’m so good.” But you believe that you’re bad. So what? Punishment? Sickness? “Guilt, fear, all these punishments that come to me because I’m bad.” “But I’m trying to be good. Tell me what I should learn here, God.”  (laughter) And all we’re saying is there’s no good or bad here. Whatever God brings is from God. There are no good gifts from God and bad gifts from God. It’s all Divine. The mind says, “Where is the love?” The truth says, “It’s all love. That’s all there is.” The mind says, “How can I feel loved?” The truth says, “You are love.” But the mind that sees a you as real, separate from God, then sees you as not love, because God is love and you are separate from god, therefore you are not love. 

Participant: Damned if I do and damned if I don’t. 

Loved if you do and loved if you don’t. 

Participant: (laughing) I think I’ll choose that. Is it possible to choose that? Who is choosing?

You’re choosing damned if you do and damned if you don’t, because as long as it’s you choosing, you are choosing separate from God. So no matter what you choose, you are choosing separation. But the truth is…not real. You’re not separate. And the pain is just on the screen. It’s not real. The part of you that believes there is a separate you also believes that pain is probably a good thing; because if you suffer enough, God will take you home. And if you stop suffering you are lost in hell forever. 

Participant: It’s a lot of confusion.

It’s only the mind that creates confusion. There is no confusion, It’s very, very simple. Whatever is here is from God and is Love. If you want to resist and fight it, that’s when it gets confusing. You simply silence what is. How crazy would it be to try to change what is; it already is.

All Rights Reserved © 2025 Channels Without Borders

Feel free to share this with friends.

Why do you say that time isn’t real? | Sanhia on Escaping the Trap of Becoming

/in , , , , , , ,

(click for audio on YouTube)

Good Now

I don’t know if we have time to answer that now. Ha ha! Just kidding. Remember not to believe everything I say. In fact, don’t believe anything. Take the words only as pointers and then check things out for yourself. Even talking about what is real and what isn’t opens a whole can of worms. We have opened that can before and have no idea where all the worms have gotten to. So, let’s just talk about time. Under the rubric of time, there are actually at least two different times we could be referring to. These could be called chronological and psychological time. The first one is easy, so we will just get it out of the way before tackling the more challenging concept of psychological time.

Chronological time is just like the ticking of the clock. It appears to be regular and can be segmented into seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years, and so on. It marches on. Within the illusion of the dualistic physical world, time plays a significant role (some would say it is the fourth dimension). Like eating and breathing, keeping track of time plays a significant role. Awareness allows you to catch a train or flight or to meet a friend. Conducting business relies heavily on chronological time. Like the dream world itself, chronological time is not real (we’ll talk about that more in the discussion of psychological time), but it plays an important role in playing in the illusion.

But, as you have probably surmised, We did not come today to deal with chronological time. Psychological time is where most of your focus lies. in psychological time you believe there is a past, which you think about often. Most of the thoughts that enter your mind come from this past. The questions I place before you are, “Where is this psychological past located?”, “How do you find it?”, and, “Can you get there from here?” The honest answers to these questions are likely, “I don’t know”, “I don’t know”, and, “I don’t think so”. Then there is the psychological future. That is the one that affects you in the deepest way. Of course the past reverberates on and on in an endless loop through your mind. Those of you who consider yourselves to be on spiritual paths are well aware that it doesn’t support you to pay too much attention to these thoughts in your mind, or to listen to the mass consciousness…to all your programming. You are trying to ignore all of that and to live in the now, to hear what the present has for you. For many of you there are things in your mind or your behavior that you don’t approve of, things you want to change. You have goals. Maybe you want to be kinder. Perhaps you want to feel more peaceful. You could wish to let go of judgment and guilt. There are the physical goals like losing weight, giving up smoking, regular exercise, or eating better. You could all fill in the blanks of your own lengthy wish list.

In psychological time you are setting goals, want yourself to improve, to be better. This change will be realized somewhere in the future. You might go so far as to set an exact time when your goal will be achieved. Again, where is this future? How do you find it? Can you get there from here? You know the honest answers to these questions. There is just now. There is no past; there is no future. These are just constructs of your mind. Meanwhile, you can only be here. In psychological time you want to be anywhere else, but there is nowhere else to be. You feel ambushed by your past. You don’t like your present self and want to turn out a new, improved version. However, it is always now and you are stuck with the version you have. You don’t accept who you are, dreaming only of the hypothetical you that doesn’t exist. Tomorrow never comes. It is always now. So, in the insane world of psychological time you are guided by a non-existent past to create a non-existent future, while ignoring or resisting the only true time, the present.

This place you long for of peace, love, innocence, and acceptance can only be found now, in this present moment. It is here right now. You can only experience what is here. Why do I say that time isn’t real? I am talking about psychological time. I am talking about the past and the future. Now time is very real. It is all there is. If you want to experience peace, let go of your ideas of how to get there. Give up plans to find it in the future. Look right here, right now, and see what is there. Don’t let yourself escape into your mind. Stay here. Use all of your senses. Accept the feelings, the sensations that come to the body. If there is a perfect future, go there right now. Why live one more moment in agony? You don’t do it because you can’t. You either find peace here and now or you never find it. What you do when you live in the illusion of psychological time is to sacrifice the present for the future, which doesn’t even exist.

Let’s come back to true time. Whatever you want to have that you don’t believe is in the present and for which you decide to do your programs, your training, your meditation, or whatever systems you’ve come across so that in the future you will have what you now lack –  cut the middleman out. Don’t meditate for future peace. Have peace now. You ask how you can have peace now? Stop fighting. What are you fighting? You are fighting you now. When you say you are not the you that you wish to be, you are at war with yourself. How can you experience peace while being at war? Stop fighting the you that is here now and accept it. We are not even going to go into the many people in the world that you are at war with, that you want to change, that you might believe you or others are victim to. Stop fighting if you want peace. Stop believing you need to be different. Make peace with what is here now. Everything and everyone is as they are now. You cannot change it, no matter how much you might wish to. You can give up fighting. You can accept the perfection of God being in this very moment. That requires looking without a thought of what could or should be. It means really seeing what is present and fully engaging with it.

Of course all of this flies in the face of what most spiritual paths are teaching. These teachings say that you have to work for your spiritual goals. You must have discipline. You must make yourself grow and change. This guidance might have you work with your thoughts, practice positive thinking, express your emotions, always practice forgiveness, meditate, do yoga, eat a vegan diet, proselytize, fast, help those in need, or any other form of discipline. Act in the right way now so that you will have a better future, so that you can be the person you believe you should be. Ego mind goes crazy when told that you don’t have to do anything or become anything – that you are that now. There is nothing you have to do. There is no goal, no discipline, no guru. All of that is counter-productive. It takes your focus away from the now, from what is, and places it on what isn’t, the psychological illusion of time.

When your mind is encouraging you to set goals and think of a new you, open your eyes and see what is around you. Is what you notice there because you asked it to be there? No, it’s just there. Can you change anything about what is there? You might have a temporary affect through meeting what is there, but in the meantime life goes on. It is alive. It moves. It changes. It does not follow your personal will or desires. Life is what it is. You can notice what is there. Look at it. Let it be there. Enjoy it!  See what is actually there, rather than noticing what it isn’t. Let go of what it isn’t. It will never be that. You will only experience pain, loss, and suffering. Let it be. Stop fighting and accept what is there. If you notice having an unloving thought toward another, that is what is here now. If there is judgment toward self, again that is what is there. If there is sadness, let it be there. Rather than trying to change what it is, really let yourself experience it. Let the feelings be present. Explore them in your body rather than trying to chase them away or transform them. Choose peace now. Stop fighting. See what you actually find in the now when you are not busy trying to change it. Use all of your senses in this exploration. There is awareness. There is noticing. There is the illusion of choosing, but what is cannot be unchosen any more than it can be chosen. You can imagine an alternate reality, but you can’t go there. You just go into hiding from the present. You just go into a war against what God has brought to you – brought in Love. How can you possibly enjoy a present that you refuse to accept, that you don’t want? How can such a life be one of peace and love?

I’m not suggesting that you set as a goal to no longer set goals, that you choose to not be focused in the future, but look only at the present. If you are setting goals, notice that you are setting goals. If you are aware of looking to the future, just be aware of that. It is not about changing but about being aware; if you notice that you are not aware, also let that be. There is nothing to change. There is only what is here now. You’re here in true time, in the only time, in the present moment. Hang out. Hang out with whatever appears to be here with you. It’s all God’s gift to you.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

All Rights Reserved © 2025 Channels Without Borders

Feel free to share this with friends.

Is everything preplanned? | Sanhia on the Illusion of Choice and Free Will

/in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

(click for audio on YouTube)

This conversation comes from a recent session.

Participant: Is everything preplanned?

I knew you were going to ask that. (laughs) Just kidding…a little. Both the short answer and the long answer is…yes. One of the favorite games of the ego mind is convincing you that you have choice. Not only does it convince you that you have the power of choice, but also that your choices will affect what will happen in the illusion. Therefore, you have a great responsibility to choose well, because what you choose is what you are going to get. We will start out by asking Our favorite question, “How has that worked for you so far?” Certainly, if you have received whatever you have chosen, we would not be having this conversation. What need would you have for a disembodied voice if you had all the money, fame, success, relationships, sex, adventures, and good health you could ever want? Obviously, you have received many things you never in your worst nightmares would have asked for. I assume for all of you to varying degrees getting what you think you want has not been the normal result for you. What that leaves is the possibility that you didn’t do a good enough job, allowing in too many doubts or thoughts that you could not have what you wanted. In this scenario if you had been pure in your thoughts everything would have worked out perfectly. A corollary to this is that you don’t deserve what you want.

Participant: Is the only choice to follow the Will of God?

Wow! You are way ahead of me. Perhaps we should switch places. We will come around to that point, but let’s fill in a few blanks first. The bottom line here is that if you have the ability to choose and your choice will make a positive difference, then why don’t your choices always work out? Of course, most of you will think of examples where you did choose something and it more or less happened as you desired it to. The question then is, “Having received what you asked for, did that leave you feeling full and complete?” The honest answer to that probably is that though it might have felt good for a period of time, eventually there was something else that you wanted. Perhaps there was not even a short-term satisfaction before realizing that you did not find the feeling you were hoping to have. So, the choosing continues on and on without ever delivering the heaven that has been sought. More likely there is a failure even to gain what is desired.

Let’s jump over to the other side and assume that it makes absolutely no difference what you choose or don’t choose. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. Sometimes your wishes are aligned with that result and sometimes they aren’t. When what happens is aligned, you believe that you did it. You don’t want it to rain because you have a picnic planned and the skies remain clear. Do you now believe that you have power over the weather? If it had rained, who would you have pointed the finger at in blame? Yourself? God? Global warming? Alignment does not prove cause and effect. What if the whole script is already written out and there is nothing you can do to change that story?

Participant: But sometimes I find myself at a fork in the road and my whole life will change based on whether I bend to the left or to the right. Doesn’t that show that choice does make a difference?

Good question. It certainly shows that there is an illusion of the power of choice. It could be said that the choice you make was already written.

Participant: But Sanhia it feels like I could have chosen in the opposite way.

Then why didn’t you? You chose the only way you could choose. Let’s look at how the ego mind actually operates. It is no different than a computer. It is programmed and acts and reacts from that programming. In your programming you have been taught to believe and to act in accordance with all that you have experienced in what appears to be your life story. All of that conditioning leads to the choice you make in this moment. In another moment you might choose quite differently because included in your program now are the results from your previous choice. Your choice in the moment might also be affected by the emotions you are experiencing right at that time. Did you choose to be angry, impatient, pessimistic, or optimistic when it was time to make your choice?  Things constantly change; things that you have little or no control over. Perhaps the choice you are making is totally influenced by your parents’ teachings. Do you remember choosing those parents? Did you choose the teachers you had growing up? Did you choose your religion or lack of one? Did you choose a friend who suddenly appears in your story?  Did you pick your race, gender, or the area where you lived in your formative years? The answers are obvious. Of course not. Yet, all of these experiences formed who you feel yourself to be and out of them you are programmed to make choices. All these events were planned. Nothing was random. Nothing was chosen by you. Yet you act as if you have a power to control the world, to determine your future. That, too, has been programmed into you. As long as you attempt to guide things you will be frustrated. The “best” outcome is that you have moments of feeling successful, periods of peace and happiness. Those moments will end. More likely you will experience a sense of failure and look at your future with foreboding.

Imagine for a moment that you have no choice, that everything is unfolding as it is meant to. You are off the hook. You have no responsibility. You can neither puff up your chest and take credit for what has happened nor blame yourself and feel guilt. You did neither of those things. The place that we call the awakened state is simply one where there is absolute acceptance for what is. Nothing can be changed. It is simply happening. It would be futile to resist what already is because it cannot be changed. It already is! Close your eyes and pretend it isn’t there, but it is still there. You can want to change it, but the genie is already out of the bottle. Here is what the ego mind does when it hears this news. It goes into absolute terror and denial. It asks how can you ever be happy in life if you can’t create what you want? Are you expected to bite the bullet and accept whatever shit comes your way? This, according to the ego mind, is the worst of all hells.

Here’s what happens when you give up fighting what is and simply experience it and live with it. You begin to experience the fullness of life. Ego mind is screaming that what is here isn’t right, it isn’t good, it isn’t what you should have. I am telling you that what is happening is perfect, is exactly what should be happening, is just what you need. Spirit, the Divine, is presenting your perfect now. It is eons beyond what you could have chosen for yourself (and remember your track record). Everything is given in Love.

Participant: So again, the only choice I really have is to choose the Will of God. Maybe this will make me more content with life?

As you said, “the only choice I really have is to choose the Will of God”, but that is still a choice. That may be your intention, but who is expressing that intention? Like all choice, it can only come from the ego mind. Like all your other plans, it may or may not happen. Armed with that intention you drive off down the road only to find you have a flat tire. Is your mind just fine with all of that or do you find yourself in resistance to what is? These reactions are immediate and programmed. The habit that has been nurtured for so long is to resist the Will of God and then to choose what you think would be better. Maybe at some point the awareness that you are resisting what is occurs to you and you stop fighting. Each experience rewires your data base.  Another day you might find yourself just fine with a flat tire as it happens. Perhaps the gap between noticing the resistance and accepting what is will continually narrow.

In the meantime I will simply remind you that not accepting God’s gifts always leaves you feeling separate from your own Divinity. My voice is now a part of your programming as are your attempts and failures to heed it. Be certain that your opportunities to let go of your personal will shall be unlimited. In the meantime, are you in guilt and blame when your choice for God’s Will fails to materialize? Are you then choosing to give up guilt and blame? Who is choosing that? And so it goes. (laughter) This doesn’t mean that things are hopeless and you are helpless. The perfect thing is always happening right now. What you think of as you just isn’t in control. If choosing is present, if guilt and blame are there, you notice that. If you have thought of changing how you respond…you notice that. You are not going to be able to change either of those things. They have already happened, but the noticing, the experience, and the awareness are now part of your programming. Perhaps then over time you find it easier and easier to accept God’s Will. More quickly you are able to let go of “Why is this happening” and “Poor me”. You might find yourself letting go of guilt and blame more speedily. You do this not because of setting such goals, but through the experience that none of that stuff works. It can feel hard to surrender and trust the Will of God instead of pursuing what you want to happen.

Participant: How can it be easier?

Your personal will chooses only out of a sense of separation from God, not from alignment. Personal will accepts almost nothing as it is, instead it thinks about would feel better and visualizes a future with all its desires met, a fantasy of peace, love, and joy. Again, we return to our favorite question, “So, how has that worked out for you so far?” There are three primary reasons why it hasn’t worked out. The first is that you don’t have a clue. What you think will bring you happiness will never do so, will never bring you that sense of peace and Oneness. The second reason is that you are looking in the wrong place. The world cannot give you what you want, because it is simply the projection of your lack. What you seek is within you. It lies with your thoughts and beliefs. If you want love, then be love. Finally, as is the whole point of this message, it is already decided. There is nothing you can do to change anything.

For a moment let’s leap back over to the other side, to the part of you that is able to accept what is without any need or attempt to change it. We could call this the awakened self, although the sense of self has disappeared. There is an observation of that self taking place, but there is no ownership of it. The idea of choice is not present here. This jump cannot be chosen, though you may make efforts toward it by letting go of personal will and asking to hear and follow God’s Will. To believe that you have choice and are separate from Divinity is the sleeping self, living in a dream while believing it is real. This sleeping self believes it must use its personal will, its choice, to protect itself from the universe or from God. The awakened you is One with everything, experiencing rather than choosing and resisting.

Participant: You have been talking about being in the now and accepting what is, that what is here now is exactly what is needed for me. 

Yes. In this perfection of the now, if you are truly there, there is no question of choice. Choice only exists in the horizontal when the mind is referring to the ideas of past and present. In the present there is no choice to make; there is just what is here. Rather than choice there is simply action or reaction, and that also just happens. Any thought of needing to make a choice indicates you are no longer in the now and have drifted off back into sleep. Notice that. That becomes part of your experience. The now is relentless and you have infinite opportunities to be present or not. Again, you cannot choose to be present, but you can notice when you are not. Hmmm. Interesting. Notice where there is judgment, blame, or guilt. Hmmm. Interesting.

Yes, this preplanned world is absolutely perfect. Everything that is present exists to stimulate that leap of faith, that awakening. If your ego mind is running the show right now, that is what is perfect. Notice that and accept it. Or don’t notice or don’t accept. It doesn’t matter. It is still perfect. When it is time to notice or to accept, you will do that. Nothing you do in following the lies of the ego mind makes any real difference. What is true is true, and what is true is of Love and of God. The rest is a dream, or if you prefer, a nightmare. There is no such thing as failure or success, but there is a perfection in holding on to the belief in them until you don’t. Spirit’s GPS is guiding you and loving you in every moment, even when you feel the most alone and abandoned.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

All Rights Reserved © 2025 Channels Without Borders
Feel free to share this with friends.

Why does seeing from the Observer´s eyes seem so damned impossible? | Sanhia on the Illusion of Choice

/in , , , , , , , , , , , ,

click for audio on YouTube

This conversation comes from a recent Spiritual Awareness Group.

Participant: How can I choose to see things from the observer’s mind?

It seems that you can choose either ego or Spirit. In truth, there is no choosing. It is already written. It is just what happens. The mind may see it as choosing, but there is just the appearance of choosing happening, just as there might be the appearance of a sunrise happening. The viewer would just notice that there is an apparent choosing. The choice does not affect the movie. It is a scripted part of the movie. Ego mind wants to hold on to the thought that it is choosing. Ego wants to claim, for instance, that “I” am angry. In reality, there is no one to “own” that anger. There is only the appearance of anger being present. There is no judgment in this noticing. Anger is not good or bad; it is simply present. The observer feels no anger. It is only aware of the presence of anger in the movie.

Participant: I seem to be stuck here.

There seems to be the appearance of stuckness here. The observer is not stuck, but only noticing the presence of stuckness.

Participant: I am worried that my observer might be laughing at me.

The observer has no reaction other than absolute love for whatever is there. The part that you think of as me, who feels separate from the One, who feels it can choose – and is therefore not doing a good job – is thinking “Why did it choose this?” The observer simply notices that there seems to be a belief in choosing; there seem to be upsetness; there seems to be stuckness.

Participant: I can be okay with that. I don’t want to just jump from this place right now because something is needing to be done here. I don’t want to go back to trying to be nice. That’s not so fun.

If you could simply choose to jump from your ego and only see from the Divine Observer, you would have done that long ago. You can have the intention to do that, but you can’t make it happen because you don’t have choice. If you had choice, that would place you separate from the Divine. But you can’t be separate, so what is happening can only be perfect, a part of the script that is already written. At some point it may be that in the noticing of the now the ego is just seen rather than experienced as self. That cannot be chosen because only the ego mind can pretend to choose. The noticing simply happens. There no longer is anyone there, there is just the noticing. But you can’t choose that.

Participant: Not just now.

Not at any time. It will happen when it happens.

Participant: Something feels very powerful in this.

If you have the thought that there is stuckness, and you hang on to that thought, you will likely decide there is some fault in you that maintains the feeling of stuckness. When you are aware of that, let the sense of stuckness be there as long as it is going to be there. It is perfect. There is nothing to fix. There is no effort you could make to cause the stuckness to go away.

Participant: I could sing a song. Then I’m not focused on the stuckness.

Yes and then what is apparent is the singing of the song. Will the feeling of stuckness return? Probably.

Participant: This is very good. I like it very much.

Choice is the domain of the ego mind. As you let go of control and simply notice what is present, you are opening to the possibility of seeing through Divine eyes. If you do that to try to enable Divine seeing, you are back in the ego trap of choosing. So, you just do it when you notice and stop trying to choose, instead noticing what is present. It’s a razor’s edge you are walking. I mean let’s get serious. Is the ego really going to choose to give up its control by truly allowing you to choose Spirit? That would be suicide. The ego is a survivor and a very clever one. Choice is not a choice; it is a subterfuge. Every choice affirms the reality of the ego. Its disappearance requires not choosing. The best you can hope to do is to notice what is going on without following any of the threads.

Participant: But I do know that this is all an ego game. I know that it will probably eventually go over to something else, but I guess that right now I need to be in it.

This is such a humorous thing – perhaps more humorous from this perspective than from yours – but whatever you decide you want to do; you can’t possibly do. All that is left is to give up trying. But you can’t try to give up trying. Finally, you get so exhausted from trying and failing that you just give up trying.

Participant: But sometimes I’m able to walk or sit quietly or sing and my mind calms down.

Yes, but what you have then is a calmer ego driven person, but still not an awake person. Not that this is a bad thing. Being calm might be more enjoyable, but the balancing dualistic energy will eventually surface. Watching from the viewer is not about being calm or distressed.  It is noticing what is present without identifying that as self. There is no self. There are no techniques for taking you to that place. If anything, it may be necessary to let go of all techniques, but that can become its own technique.

Participant: Just now, this is what I needed.

The perfect thing is always here. If you try to understand why it is perfect, you are back in the ego mind. You will never understand.

Participant: Then I could be grateful that this is what it is…and not a heart attack.

That would be perfect too (much laughing). It would be what is there. If you have the thought that awakening means feeling fine all of the time, which you think you might be able to do if you let yourself just find and practice the right things consistently, you may, as I said, find yourself as a mostly satisfied sleeping person. You will, however, still believe yourself to be your “self“, separate from the One. What is transpiring for an individual or for the world in general has no identification for the Divine Viewer. Happiness or sadness may be present, but it makes no difference. There is nobody there experiencing this. There is something magnetic for the searcher in having a practice, but eventually the practice doesn’t deliver. So, you try another and then another until perhaps you crumble into hopelessness.

Participant: I am tired of techniques. I just want to be.

Notice that that is all you can ever do. Just to be. You cannot stop being. You cannot make yourself be. You are. Any technique is simply a diversion from noticing the isness of everything. So, we are back to this razor’s edge of having no techniques without that becoming a technique. Everything is perfect as it is. Nothing to change and nobody there to make a change. There is just what is, Divinely inspired. You can’t change anything, but you might be aware of the desire for change. You can’t make yourself accept what is here, but you might notice that the desire to do so is present.

Participant: I have the thought that coming to this group is a holy thing to do, that it will support my spiritual goals. This morning I didn’t feel very holy so I thought I shouldn’t come.

Sorry, but there is nothing holy here. This is like Walpurgis night in Sweden (a holiday celebrated on the last day of April where people make fires and burn whatever has accumulated over the dark period of the year). You come here to release things, not to get anything. There is nothing to get. You already have it. Your job is not to be or feel holy, but to take out and burn the trash. So please! Bring us your garbage. Of course, you don’t need to come here to throw out the trash. You can do that at home. There is nothing holy about this or any other place, or it could be said that every place is holy. There is only holiness. That is all there is. You are also not here because you chose to be here.

Participant: It is not my choice to be here? You mean in this body?

Well, yes that too, but to be here in this room now. That is just a belief of the ego mind. It might be more accurate to say that you are here because the universe has chosen for you to be here. It might be most accurate to say that you are here because you are here. You can play the game of believing that you are choosing things, but did you choose to become aware of this group? Even when you might think that you decided to be here today, it was the universe that provided you with a ride. The universe could have caused the car not to start or there might have been an accident on route. You could have been too sick to get out of bed or you could have listened to the voice that said you weren’t holy enough to be here today. The universe wanted you here. It is a fool’s task for you to wonder why you were wanted here. It is just yours to be here and notice what is here before you. On the other hand, you may notice that there is nurturance here for this seemingly separated being. That nurturance is also here for the group member who did not appear today. The universe wanted him elsewhere, even though he might be beating himself up for believing that he created not being present. There is nothing wrong or right about attending or not attending. There just is what is.

Participant: Yes, I do think it is good to be here. Good to have support in seeing things from another side.

If you allow yourself to notice when you think you are choosing or when you find yourself feeling negative emotions that you wish were not taking place, if you decide to then reverse the process – good luck with that. You cannot choose that or anything else. At the same time, within the imaginary realms of past and future, which don’t exist, yet feel so real, the choosing part of you that believes you have a whole story of connected events that led you to being where you are now, there is just the isness of this moment. There is no past or future; there is just the isness, the being of what is here in this moment from the vertical perspective. There is just what is being observed. Nothing else. It certainly cannot slow down this illusory process of becoming the Observer to be more aware of when you think you are the chooser, but if you are doing it to try to get “there”, there is nowhere to get, and you are spinning your imaginary wheels. But that doesn’t mean not to do it, if doing it is what is here right now. What is being noticed is that there is resistance to what is here now. What is going on right now is that “I” think that I am this body, and “I” is being used to identify that body. Can that identification be changed right now? No, that is just what appears to be happening. All that is really happening is the noticing that this appears to be going on. Thinking you are the body does not make you the body. Thinking that you are not the body does not stop you from believing you are. Thinking doesn’t do anything. There is no you to be or not be the body. There is just the seeing, just the being.

Participant: That’s good. Good enough.

Or bad enough (laughs all around). This noticing that there is no chooser, there is only the Divine watching can only come upon one who believes in their separated self. There is no chooser so it cannot be chosen. This Divine Watcher has no idea what is coming next. Everything is being viewed for the first time. How could that not be thrilling? This creation is only Love. Everything is seen through these eyes of Love. This does not mean that pain won’t seem to be present, but it will not be owned or possessed by the Viewer who can possess nothing, Who is not there but only Is. Like everything else in the illusion, pain will appear and then disappear. Pain is not good or bad; it is simply what is on the screen now. Ego mind wants to hang on to the exhilaration of the positive experience, but that can only be accompanied by the pain of the fall. The Viewer owns neither. Ego mind is destined to a seeming eternity of up and down. It wants to hold on to the up and it fails, adding insult to injury. Meanwhile there is just Life, Oneness, Divinity. There is no up and down, no judgment, no separation, no guilt, no suffering. The ego mind really believes that it is responsible, that it is in control and can handle things. But it absolutely is not and cannot be. It has no idea that everything filling that mind comes from someplace other than Divinity.

Participant: But isn’t it the human state to seek happiness and avoid pain?

The deeper truth is that the human desire is to go home, and the belief is that something must be done to get there. For some the belief is that seeking happiness will bring them home. For others, the belief may be that pain and deprivation will lead them home. Spirit says that you are home; you never left. The ego mind can never see this, but the Observer’s eye does. Sooner or later the ego mind gets tired of trying.

Participant: I’m tired already.

Wonderful! (laughter) How successful have you been so far in manifesting what you wish to create in your life? That must be exhausting! You can stop trying. Your true nature is Oneness. You are Oneness playing the game of twoness. Is the game always fun? Not from the ego mind, not from the perception of twoness. From Oneness, from the Observer it is neither fun nor not fun; it simply is and all that simply is is Divine, is Love. But in absolute Oneness there is no experience. There is no movie. There is no sunset. There is no storm. There is no pain. There is no sweetness. There is no orgasm. So, Oneness can have the experience of these sensations through this movie. Every moment of the movie is glorious to the Observer.

Participant: How can the Observer experience yet not be a part of what is happening?

The Observer watches without projection. This Watcher does not pretend that It is the person being observed. There is no story, no history. Nothing is held on to. There is no future. There is just the Divine moment. Pain, for example to the ego mind, is connected with past ideas of blame and guilt, and with fears of the future. For the Observer, pain is just a particular sensation in the Divine now. Nothing lasts. Everything changes. Nothing is held on to. Everything is noticed. The Observer notices the pain is present but is not identified with it. Again, these are just words and cannot approximate the actual experience of not seeing through the ego’s eyes. You call this twoness “me”, but where is this “me”? Who is “me”? The twoness is “me-ing” while the Oneness is “be-ing”. “Me-ing” always has questions. “Be-ing” knows, but not in words.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

All Rights Reserved © 2025 Channels Without Borders

Feel free to share this with friends.

Whatever You Think, You Are Wrong | Sanhia on the Nature of Reality and Awakening

/in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

You know it is both difficult and easy to speak out of both sides of my mouth. It is difficult because I have neither a mouth nor sides, but it is easy because I just place the words in Michael’s mouth, and he has agreed to share them without question. Any words that I use do not tell the truth so it can be helpful to state things in differing and even contrasting ways to approximate truth, to triangulate what actually is. I have been talking differently about reality in some of the more recent messages than I did in messages back several years ago. If you want to check that out for yourself click here and then click on reality for a list all the messages where the term is mentioned. Anyway, this is a good question, so let’s look more deeply into it.

Recently We have talked about reality as being what is in the now. For example, if it is raining now, that is the reality. We talk in terms of simple acceptance of what is in the now. If you have resistance to reality, if you want to change it – good luck with that. But it’s not just the weather, it’s everything. What is is. It cannot be changed. You might want to change it in the future, even the near future. That’s another matter we will deal with shortly, but reality is what is here right this moment. When one ignores it or doesn’t accept it, is upset and in opposition to it, or wants to change it there will be frustration, pain, suffering, and a sense of failure because the now cannot be altered. The reality cannot be changed. When there is resistance to the now, it makes it nearly impossible to hear your inner guidance, Spirit, or your Divine Self, because the ego mind is just too loud. This is the reality we have been referring to. It has been suggested that the more one is willing to notice what is present right now – without judging it or wishing to change it – the more one accepts the feelings triggered in this now, the more one learns to hear that quiet inner voice. We have encouraged you to do that, to take what is in the now as the perfect thing, to receive what Spirit is presenting to you to help you realize your Divine nature.

Let’s start moving out to a wider sense of reality. One step out is to say that your only function for being, for having this experience in the physical with a body is to wake up to the truth of your Divine Nature. Nothing else matters. That’s a big step from accepting the now. Nothing else matters but being awake. In this process of awakening there are different levels. The ground level is having the desire, the intention to awaken. That can only come from the ego mind. As you have likely noticed by now, the ego mind is very clever and anything but self destructive. The urge to awaken is most unlikely to make an appearance when things are going as one wishes they would. The ego only grudgingly allows a peek at this when you have become quite frustrated with the lack of delivery on ego promises. But a full awakening would mark the death of the ego. So, what proceeds to manifest in this world of duality is opposites. On one side the intention to awaken is a prerequisite. On the other hand, as long as you hold on to the intention to awaken, you cannot notice you already are awake. Awakeness is in the now; goals put your mind into the non-existent future. How do you make the shift from wanting to awaken to realizing awakeness?  At some point the synapse is crossed, you realize you are and always have been awake. You’ve just been pretending to be asleep. We could call the ego mind that pretender. However, you can have the idea that you really are awake, but that is still the ego mind running things, not a true experience. So, what happens somewhere along the line (remembering that time doesn’t really exist), through what I like to call “the grace of God”, after countless letting goes of the ego mind, is it happens. This occurrence is after intention has been released.  You know in that instant that none of this really matters, that the physical is just an illusion. If that is followed by the thought that you are awake now, say hello again to your ego mind. It doesn’t matter. It will likely happen. The truth is in your divinity. It cannot be hidden forever. More often you will find yourself noticing the now with no attachment, with no agenda, with no resistance, with welcomeness and gratitude.

As we are talking about this, because all we can do is use words and point, we could describe this as the first step of awakeness. None of this really matters. You still notice the world around you, the phenomenal world.  You are still aware of the body, the vehicle you use for this exploration and interaction with this physical illusion. There is another level of reality. It could be stated thusly, “Reality is that which never changes.” Ego mind will get hold of this and state that the now constantly changes; nothing stays the same. It will remind you that I have said, “As you are noticing the emotions, accept them, feel them, let them move about, let them be free, welcome them, and let them lead you. They will constantly change.” Ego may add that if change equates to not real, how could I say that what is in the now, including feelings are real? Now I seem to be saying the now isn’t real? And what about everything in the phenomenal world? The weather changes, plants and animals grow and then die, your physical body has and will go through enormous change from conception through birth, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, maturity, old age and death. So now am I saying that everything that is a part of the now is not real. You are understanding me completely. Anything that does or can change is not real. This becomes quite a challenge for the mind. Is there anything in the universe that does not change? If you think the earth or the sun will always be here, check out what the science says. Even if the Bible is taken literally, the universe has both beginning and end. Absolutely nothing of the physical realm is real because everything changes. What about this entity that I have referred to as “you” or you refer to as “I”, this awareness that experiences the changes in the phenomenal universe? Is it real? Whew!

The questions seem to be getting harder. Are you real? Let’s toss another one out there for you. If nothing in the physical world is real and you are the observer of these illusions – if there is nothing to observe, is there still an observer? If the world is not real, are you real? If there is nothing to observe, can you observe nothing? The closest that we can come with words in defining that which never changes might be to call it Divinity, or maybe God if you can suffer that term, or perhaps the Oneness. If you are a creation of that Whatever, made in Its own image, that too sounds like a change. Divinity simply is…always. If out of this never changing, timeless, infinite Isness you are created, then, by definition, you aren’t real either. Using the metaphor of the ocean, which is undifferentiated water; it is all ocean. A wave can emerge on its surface, but has no identity separate from the ocean. Without the ocean the wave does not exist. It may seem to have its own identity and direction, but eventually it crashes on a beach and returns to the oneness, having no further identity as a wave. Even the water that is considered to be part of the wave does not move with it; there is just this motion on the surface. Without the ocean there is no wave.

So, the ultimate reality is undifferentiated Divinity. There is no you. This reality is beyond anything the mind can comprehend. It is beyond anything the senses can be aware of. For the ego mind, such a picture triggers absolute terror. It represents not only the dissolution of the ego mind, but the dissolution of any aspect of a separated self, absolute non-existence. Oneness. No separation. Such ideas are impossible to comprehend or sense. So, after you reach the step of awareness that you are a Divine Entity, created by God in Its own image and that there is no reality in the physical realm, your awakening is not over. It has just begun. As long as there is an observer watching the illusion of physicality there remains a separation from the Oneness. The ultimate awakening, for which We have used the term ascension, is where there is no longer a sense of you observing the physical illusion. Now ascension implies a rising up, but there is no direction involved; there is nothing. There is no longer a separate observer. There is only the ocean of Oneness.

Even though there is no forward or backward, We will appear to take a step back into looking at this now. For some of you there is a great challenge in doing things like accepting the “perfection of the now.”  I will encourage you to let go of perfection as a term. Instead, keeping in mind this larger vision of reality, flow with whatever is – reminding yourself that it doesn’t matter. Perfect or imperfect, it makes no difference. Either way it’s not real. It doesn’t matter. If you are only here to realize you are already awake, whatever is happening is helping you to do that. If you are pretending to be asleep, no matter what happens you will experience pain and suffering. Whether you are trying to find perfection or imperfection you are going to suffer. In duality there cannot be one without the other. This is true of every thought you might have. It has an opposite. There is no reality in trying to explain or understand. There is only more confusion. That is why we encourage you – as you are in the process of realizing that you already are awake – to let the mind go. It’s not about learning, it’s about unlearning everything you think you know. Whatever you think, you are wrong. If you are pretending to be separate from what you observe, you are going to suffer. Beyond that, this whole unreal movie you are pretending to be a part of is already scripted. You have no choice in changing it. Your only choice is whether or not you accept it as real. You are powerless as an observer. The outcome is already known. What is occurring in the minutia of the moment doesn’t matter. We can guess that in the scope of the illusion of time as the script runs, you stop playing in the game of time. You start playing with awareness in the game of Divinity, of infinity, in the game of God. You realize that you are One with what you observe; that there is no separation. You know that nothing matters. Even if you are still playing in the game, using the vehicle you have to interact with the now, you know that it doesn’t matter. You just enjoy the ride. Or don’t enjoy the ride. Or enjoy not enjoying the ride. It doesn’t matter.

If you have the thought in the moment – and maybe it has been a long-time prayer or mantra, maybe, God forbid, you learned it from Me – “Spirit help me accept the perfection of the now” you may be enabling the ego mind to try to find something good about what is happening. This triggers the good/bad duality. In that interplay the mind usually wants to go for the positive. It doesn’t ask Spirit for help in accepting the imperfection of the now. So, the negative is denied and pushed away. Try letting go of perfection and accepting what is as what is. That is reality. Eventually it is what isn’t. That, too, is reality. You begin by accepting the reality of what is. but eventually realize there is no isness. Nothing including the observer is real. But how can you realize that if you think what is happening in your movie is real? As long as that is the case, then the separate you is real too. If you are thoroughly confused at this point, then my work is done.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

All Rights Reserved © 2025 Channels Without Borders

Feel free to share this with friends.

Does peace of mind lead to stagnation? | Sanhia on Accepting the Now

/in , , , , , , ,

(click for audio on YouTube)

This question comes from a reader who writes, “I have a nagging question about peace of mind. Doesn’t that lead to stagnation? When people stop struggling it leads to lethargy and aimlessness. The heart of my question is ‘Is struggle a universal truth?’ I have tried to give everything to the spirit but am limited in being aware of the true potential of doing that.”

Okay. I think that many readers may share your confusion. I will start by stating that what you are encountering each and every moment in the now simply is. It cannot be changed. It is; it’s here now. There is no rewind to allow you to go back and to make it different. It is what it is now and could not be anything else. This is no small matter. We could say that this is everything. Your whole question centers around changing what is. There is nothing that you can change. The mind responds, “Oh maybe not the now but I can change the future. I can build a tomorrow that is better than the now.” My next question is to ask what is wrong with the now? You might construct a laundry list of what is wrong with things as they are. How do you know each of these items is wrong? Does it feel bad? Is it uncomfortable or painful? Are things not the way you want them to be? In your mind there is a past. Is any part of what you are unhappily experiencing now a part of the future you chose for yourself then? Have things turned out exactly as you planned? Why not? These are important questions to consider. There are many parameters to this. Maybe you have asked for something different than what is but find your request seemed to have little impact. So, what do you do? How many times do you try to run into that wall until you accept there is no doorway there? Perhaps you lack the power to change how things are.

Secondly, what makes you think that you know how things should be? Are you certain? Each one of you can recall things in what appears to be your past which were not pleasant, perhaps painful, and which you certainly would not have wished to have happened. But these events changed your experience of yourself and life in such a way that you can now have gratitude for their occurrence. Had it been up to you, you would not have chosen those happenings. Yet they helped you move through barriers that had previously felt to be impenetrable. Perhaps you are begging to and wondering if you can go forward and grow without having pain. The answer seems to be “apparently not”; at least you have not demonstrated that ability up to this point. The suffering is not brought about by what occurs, but by your resistance to it – by your struggle. So, we come back to this now. It’s the only place you are ever going to be. If you reject your now but claim instead you will create a better future, you will end up in a perpetually unacceptable now trying to create a better future. There is no future. There is just now. The only way that your now becomes acceptable is to accept it as it is. Otherwise, you will continue as you have, day after day, year after year, incarnation after incarnation, searching for a better now, looking everywhere but within and to this moment. There cannot be stagnation in the now because everything is in constant movement. Stagnation comes from the mind trying to control what cannot be corralled. So, stop trying to fight it, stop trying to change it, stop feeling the victim. Accept the present fully as it is.

Lethargy and aimlessness are consequences of repeated failures to create the world you think you want. Why even try anymore, you might think? Such a result is not a bad thing. As we have spoken about above, this can lead you to finally accept what is and find a peace that has always evaded you. It seems – and this is the fear you expressed in your question – that the choice is between struggle as a universal truth or aimlessness and lethargy. Are you sure those are the only choices?  You said that you have tried to give it to Spirit but are limited in knowing the true potential of doing that. If when leaving things to Spirit you have an idea of how you want your situation handled, you haven’t left it Spirit. If you have a picture of the outcome, if you are directing Spirit in any way, you are not leaving it to Spirit. You are still struggling, still trying to change the now. Leaving it to Spirit begins with accepting what is here now without a thought of changing things. This isn’t such a bad idea because it is here. There is nothing to be done about it. The horse is already out of the barn. There is nothing for you to do. Giving it to Spirit requires only that you are aware of what you are giving, that you surrender any part of the handling of the situation. Give the present your full attention, letting go of all thoughts – which are of the mind, not of Spirit. Your mind has a goal and wants to reach the top of the mountain. There is no top; there is just climbing. There is just goal after goal after goal. There might be a brief respite in realizing a goal, but it is soon replaced by a new target. No achievement is enough. The ego is in full control. Giving it to Spirit is the end of goals. Even giving it to Spirit cannot be a goal, only a pointer, only a reminder to notice when you are not doing that. Home is not a goal. It is where you are now. Stop! Pay attention. Let go. See what is here. These goals and this struggle are all based on the belief that nothing is enough, that you are not good enough, smart enough, loveable enough, successful enough, evolved enough, deserving enough to be welcomed into the loving arms of the Divine. So on and on you struggle vainly, like Sisyphus, to reach what cannot be reached. None of those thoughts/fears are true. Again, just stop it. Let that mind go. Pay no attention. See what Spirit is bringing you now.

When you give it to Spirit you let go of all thought of control, all addiction to fomenting change, all lack of trust in the perfection of what is. You may ask, “How can I do that Sanhia?”  It is my habit to do all of those things; how can I stop? You become aware of that. Notice when your mind wants to take over. Don’t act on it. Ignore what your mind is saying and bring yourself back to noticing the present. Your mind will likely go absolutely nuts with this. You will feel that your health, your body, your finances, your whole world will fall apart if you don’t exercise control. Notice all of that and give it to Spirit. Don’t look to the future; don’t consider the past; your only focus is on what is here right now. What you are likely to be absolutely aware of in your now are extremely uncomfortable emotions. Wonderful! All of your actions in your past have been to avoid facing these feelings. Now, that is impossible. Welcome to your NOW. Keep releasing your thoughts about these feelings. Avoid labelling them. Feel them. Notice where they occur in your body. Fully experience the sensations. Release the desire to chase them away, to change them, to rationalize their existence, or to understand them. Just let them be. Set them free to express however they might wish to do. Your job is to watch, feel, and follow. Notice where you hold a definition of yourself as depressed, angry, jealous or whatever.

Replace those thoughts with the simple awareness that depression, anger, jealousy, or whatever seem to be present. Then let that go and return to the feeling that is being expressed in your body. Now it is no longer depression but a feeling in your heart chakra that perhaps feels heavy and constrictive. The thought is not from the now, but the feeling is very much in your present. So, stay with the bodily sensations, following rather than leading. If you notice yourself trying to lead or alter the feelings, just be aware of that and return focus to the body. Leaving it to Spirit is accepting whatever is here now. What is here now are these bodily sensations. Perfect. Receive and follow. This is giving it to Spirit. These feelings won’t be here forever. Everything moves constantly in the now. Enjoy them while you can. Let them move. Let them amplify or diminish. Let them morph into something else. What is key here is the word “let”. This is Spirit’s gift to you. If you are struggling, you are resisting Spirit, not trusting the Divine. Spirit is always bringing you what you most need. Your only job is to open your heart in gratitude instead of resisting and thinking you know better. This is what giving it to Spirit is. Giving it to Spirit is realizing that you are actually giving nothing; Spirit has always had it. You have no need to create heaven on earth. You don’t have a clue as to what that actually would be nor how to bring it about.

That heaven is presented in every moment by Spirit. If you are wondering how this pain you are experiencing could be called heaven on earth, please reread the July message. When you experience discomfort, whether it be mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual, you do the counter-intuitive thing. Your mind wants it to stop, but instead you dive into it, immersing yourself in the pain. You do the opposite of what the ego wants. Instead of applying the brakes, you accelerate. You drive/dive right into what you want to have go away. If things terrify you, jump into your fear. Where is it in your body? Feel it. Let it go wild. It may feel like it will kill you. Find out if it will. The alternative is to live with that fear forever. It is time to remind you that none of this is real. It is all a fantasy, a dream – or a nightmare for some of you. Your ego mind takes it all deadly seriously. Nothing in the physical experience truly matters. What matters for you is your belief in it and the energy you give to the importance of the illusion. All of this keeps the dream alive for you. Whatever it is that you fear or that triggers other feelings you label as negative is not real. You won’t realize that by listening to Me. This awareness will only come through diving into it. Attempting, though of course unsuccessfully, to chase it away just makes it real to you.

All that is real is the You that is experiencing all of this. It will never go away. So, have your experiences. Enjoy the ride. Do you choose your experiences each day? Only to a limited degree. Truth be told, you never know what is coming next. Stop trying to control, change, or hide from what appears. Hop on board. The true You is indestructible. The Divine You has chosen for you. Whatever happens, when the dust settles, there you are. You simply are. As Spirit is, as God is, You are. Your mind thinks you are the body, you are less than Divine, and that you will die. Stop listening! Dive into the now. Dive into the feelings. Otherwise, there can never be peace of mind, nor can that peace come out of an intention or a goal. In that case you are busy trying to change what is.

Let’s come back to the original statement about peace of mind leading to stagnation. Have you ever had peace of mind for a long and sustained period of time? Have you felt that peace for weeks, months, or years on end? I would be very surprised if your honest answer was yes. If it is no, how can you think that peace of mind leads to stagnation? You have no experience to back up such a belief. That is just another crazy idea, one of thousands in the insane mind of humanity. So, let’s let go of peace of mind, of heaven on earth, of love, joy, and happiness as constant states of mind, of never experiencing “negative” emotions. Go for not going. Go for hanging out with or without lethargy with what is now. Your only goal is to have no goal (previous message), to be with what is. Does that mean that you don’t interact with the world? Of course you do, but not with the intention to create a certain result. You play because it is all there is to do. Whatever presents itself is the only game in town. If emotions are triggered in the playing of the game, then that is a part of the game. Play on. If part of your game is to try to change the game, I wish you the best of luck. We can talk again later. I am always a part of your game. Listen to your Divine Inner Coach.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

All Rights Reserved © 2025 Channels Without Borders

Feel free to share this with friends.

How can pain be a gift? | Sanhia on Finding Freedom in the Midst of Pain

/in , , , ,

(Click for audio on YouTube)

The following was taken from a recent group session.

Sanhia: If the now includes a feeling of pain … that is perfect.

Participant: It should be nice. but it is not nice. It is painful. If perfection is pain, then maybe it is perfect.

Sanhia: If there is the experience of pain, and the thought appears and is held onto that “I wish I weren’t feeling pain”, there is pain about pain. The wishing away of pain does not make anything better. The thought that it shouldn’t be here doesn’t change anything.

Participant: I feel so embarrassed of being overwhelmed by the pain.

Sanhia: You can not change the event that triggered the pain. You cannot stop the feeling of grief. You can choose not to dwell on thoughts that the event should not have happened or that you should be reacting differently. These thoughts do not change what is. They certainly don’t help you feel better. So, you notice the thought is there and let it go. Continue with the feelings rather than with the thoughts. Whatever is here now is real. The thoughts want to take you somewhere else. Stay here. If pain is present, remain with the bodily sensations. You will be better off not even labelling these feelings. Notice what is felt and hang with it. One thing about the now… it is constantly changing. Stay with the feeling until it changes and then continue with what comes then. If you notice yourself wanting the feelings to move in any direction, let the thought go and allow the feelings the freedom to express or move however they wish to. Your body is an amazing healing machine. It will do whatever needs to be done if you simply let it do its job. What happens if you just stop exercising that muscle that wants things to be different and refuses to accept what is? One thing is certain; if you try to change what is to what you want it to be, you will fail.

Participant: But it feels like I am failing at everything.

Sanhia: That thought comes from the ego mind belief that you are running the show. If you are not running the show, how can you possibly fail? Things simply are as they are. You didn’t create them that way. Why would you have if you had that ability? How self-destructive would you have to be to create what you absolutely don’t want? That is a crazy idea! You cannot change things; you cannot make them better. You wouldn’t even know what would truly be better. What is now is perfect. We know that because that is how it is. Let the energy of the mind be filled with letting it be, with finding gratitude, or with experiencing whatever feelings seem to block gratitude.

Participant: But it feels like I must have chosen this on some level. I can’t tell if it is a gift or a disaster.

Sanhia: Precisely. You are powerless to change the situation but able to be present with it, to see it as it is without your thoughts. This is giving it to God. There is no need to understand why it is happening, to be able to see it as either a gift or a disaster. It simply is and you experience certain bodily sensations along with it. If you fight it, you fight God. You will “lose”, that is you won’t be able to change what is and you will experience pain in trying and failing.

Participant: But I am going to have pain anyway.

Sanhia: Then accept that you have pain. Try not to give it a label, but experience what you are feeling without trying to change it or make it go away. Leave your personal will out of it.

Participant: I can do lots of things to try to not focus on it. I can go to work, watch a film, call a friend.

Sanhia: I am going to speak to a part of your mind that will recall this talk from time to time. There will be a moment when you realize that everything is as it should be, that everything is perfect no matter how it feels, that there is no part of you that would ever want things to be any different. You will have the experience that everything that is here right now, without exception, is here to support you. There is nothing but life. So, in whatever way in this now you are able to stop resisting and look at life in the face as it is, you are opening up to having this as your constant awareness. On the other hand, every time you push the now away, say “take this cup away from me”, or want something else, you are prolonging the period of pain and agony. Pain is transitory. If you simply feel it, it will last a little while, morph, and then disappear. If you don’t face it, avoid it, or try to push it away, the pain will just hang around. You will drag out the suffering for a long time. I am planting these thoughts so that in any now they may float to the surface. You might ask why you are shooting yourself in the foot and will instead embrace whatever is there.

Participant: I like the picture of the water which accompanies my Life Path number in my numerology chart. I feel like I am on the shore watching the water rush past. Why don’t I just jump in? Maybe I can do that. I can feel both the joy and the fear of jumping in.

Sanhia: I have been sharing some “Michael” stories with you of late. One thing that you might notice from them is that the things that encouraged him to let go of ego mind more than anything else were the times that were so hard to accept. He did not grow nearly as quickly when things worked out as he wanted them to. There was always value in those experiences as well, but the benefits tended to be more temporary. The things that were the most painful, those he did not want to have happen, were the ones that proved to be the greatest gifts. Right now, you can express gratitude for the gift without having a clue what the gift is. You can take time to really look at it and feel it instead of pushing it away.

Participant: I understand.

Sanhia; You can decide to stop fighting what is. A nineteenth century Indian chief from a north-western American tribe, known as Chief Joseph, after watching his people repeatedly lied to and massacred by the American government, finally surrendered, stating, “I will fight no more forever”. He stopped fighting and accepted what was. Spirit/God will remove everything that stands in the way of your awakening, if necessary. Nothing real can be lost. For some people a great amount of loss, pain, and suffering is required before they decide to fight no more forever.

Participant: (tears)

Sanhia: You can fight for seemingly forever, but you can stop fighting in an instant.

Participant: I can feel where that fighting spirit is; it is right where the pain is.

Sanhia: Let’s play with this a little. Let’s say that you feel something that you call sadness. If possible, let the label go and just notice the feeling. Now it is another moment, and you notice the feeling is still there and you feel it in your heart chakra. Your mind wants to take over and explain why you are sad. Your situation is horrible, and anybody would be feeling sadness. You have now lost track of what is present and are instead watching/listening to an endless loop of the story. This mind view is all you are allowing yourself to experience in the now. Nobody is forcing you to keep your attention riveted to your story. This is your personal will acting. Rather than experience the freshness that the present always has, you are stuck in this endless loop. It’s a little like holding your breath. This is not so good for the health. Try paying attention to the fresh thought that comes as well as the fresh feeling. Notice but don’t hold on to it. There is a children’s game called hot potato. A roasted potato is tossed to you. If you hold on to it you will burn your hands, so you lob it to another who flips it to another and so on. Your thoughts are like hot potatoes. In the now you would not hold on or you would be burned.

Participant One: People keep reminding me of my story when I meet them. It’s hard for me to speak about what I’m going through.

Sanhia: You don’t have to share with them what is there, but for yourself – notice. They are reminding you to notice your now. If they seem to treat you as a “poor you”, that is your mirror. In any case you can thank them for asking but share only if you feel guided. This is your now. There is nothing you must do. You do as you are guided. If you feel a need to decide, know that your personal will is acting. When Spirit is ready to act, you will know. There will be no decision to make. It is not your job to make others feel that you are doing alright. Your job is ever simpler. It is just to be present with what moves now. Otherwise, you will have nothing to give to others but your pain and your fear.

You won’t always have your pain, but if you are willing to have it, to experience it, and to go where it leads you, it will have served its purpose. The bright light of love is always on the other side. The pain is necessary to burn away the clouds of your illusions, the untruths you hold about yourself and life. Let it do its valuable, irreplaceable job. The gift is always there. You deserve to feel the truth of your Divinity, which can only be found in this now.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

All Rights Reserved © 2025 Channels Without Borders

Feel free to share this with friends.