What can I do about my anger? | Sanhia on Why You Can’t Fix Your Anger (And Don’t Need To)   

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                                     (click for audio on YouTube)

             (Taken live from a recent Spiritual Awareness Zoom group)

Good Now!

If you find yourself living in the present moment without a story, just with life as it is now – which is how it has always been, except that you’re looking at your story – if you let go of the story and you’re just with now, there couldn’t possibly be a story of “Why did I wait so long?” There is no time; there is just now. “Why is it like this?” Because that’s how it is. There is no why about it. “Why didn’t I wake up to this sooner?” You simply didn’t. That’s how it was. It is as it is. You would never step back and say, “Give me that old life.” Once that opening happens there is no turning back; there is just more opening and more opening. What could give more excitement to life than knowing there is always going to be more opening? Five years ago, you could not have visualized how you feel now, and you cannot visualize how you will feel five years from now. But perhaps that’s okay and you realize of course you can’t know because there is just now, and there isn’t anything particular to do because life is doing the doing. You’re just along for the ride. That part of the mind that thinks it’s in control and has to do things is absolutely crazy. It has no control. That’s probably a good idea because if it did have control, it would have no idea what to do with it. If you had known twenty years ago what you know now, then, obviously, life would have been different over that time. Twenty years ago, you didn’t know what was possible so you couldn’t even choose it. That’s where all of you are right now. No idea of what is possible. So instead of letting life, this enormous organic whole, do what it’s going to do no matter what you do, you choose to go into your story and let it guide and direct you, creating an enormous job of figuring out what to do that is not only unnecessary and unneeded, but is also doomed to fail. So, then you end up exhausted and hopeless and helpless. And meanwhile, all around you is heaven. 

Participant 1: But it seems, you know, when it’s good it’s good but when you have those experiences which you don’t like and you don’t prefer – it makes… AAAARG…you get angry, frustrated. It’s so difficult in those moments to say, “Oh yeah. Thank you life. Everything’s perfect. I love it”. 

The mind has a picture of what perfection should look like. And if it doesn’t look like that, there is resistance and judgment and the thought that this is not right, this is not how it should be. But it is how it is. There is nothing you can do to change that. So, you are fighting a fight that you can’t win because it already is what it is. In your non-acceptance and in your fighting it, you separate from God. You separate from the oneness, from the wholeness. Take a deep breath and ask what it is. If it’s not what you think it should be, what is it? What is here now? One of the benefits of getting older is you have had more experiences of how your resistance and your trying to choose and set goals has not worked for you. When you are younger you may be more likely to be optimistic and say, “Oh, I can do anything”. 

Participant 1: So, I guess the answer is: “There is a situation that I don’t like. I see it. I notice that there is something that my mind says should be different. I should act differently. So, what do I do? I breathe in; I breathe out. I say, ‘Okay to what I see here”. And then it might take me to that, ‘Oh, I see the situation’…and then I feel angry…or hopeless”.

First of all, the situation you are resisting is no longer happening now. It has happened. So, what’s going on is that you are in a story, but you are acting with all of the programming from throughout your life to this kind of story. It no longer has anything to do with what is here right now. Maybe it’s a beautiful sunny day but all you see are clouds. You’re not present, even if it’s a recent story. So, what’s here right now? Someone seems to be upsetting you; are they in the room right now? What is here now? Is there a person here or people? Why is your attention not with what is here now, with the people who are present, instead of in your mind with a story of people who aren’t even existing in your now? Notice what is here. React to it. 

Participant 1: Let’s talk about the repeating situation, not like a once in a lifetime situation. What if the situation is not here, but I have this feeling about it, so I have to bring myself back?

Then you have a feeling, and that’s here. But your mind wants to say that you are having this feeling because of this, this, and this. Not true. You are just having a feeling. The mind is saying that you don’t want to have this feeling, that it’s uncomfortable and you just want to get rid of it. How can you change it so that you feel better? This is not accepting the now. This is wanting to resist and to change it. Let that feeling be there. Nothing to heal here. If it is raining outside, do you need to heal the rain? The sun will return sooner or later, but not because you’ve healed the rain. There is nothing to heal here. There is a feeling. Let it be there. Feel it. Let go of control. Don’t try to heal it. Don’t try to justify it or find the cause.

Participant 1: Then it means that when the feeling changes, another feeling rises up, and another story in my mind, and another feeling, so it’s like perpetual modulation. So, what is here now, then? 

Let the feelings be there and try not to pay much attention to the stories. 

Participant 1: How come they are never true? 

Because the mind is a politician. (laughter) It is, by definition, incapable of telling the truth. It always has an ulterior motive. Basically, the mind’s motives are to do this to feel safe, to be loved, and to release guilt, but it tries to find other reasons because it doesn’t want you to look directly at those motives. So, it tends to project. You have this problem because…well men, you know how they are, or you have this problem because of your boss…well you know how they are, or you have this problem because of your parent…well you all had parents. The mind never really wants to look at what’s there. If it was willing to look at this all being about you feeling unloved, you could begin to look at the truth of that. 

Participant 2: What about emotions? Where do they belong? Is that part of ego mind going crazy? How can we find out what’s what here?

I don’t want you to take this as a literal truth, but the emotions are primarily a natural healing, balancing energy. The mind makes insane choices, self-destructive choices. There is an emotional reaction to that. It’s a balancing energy, like a storm balances the energy in the air and the earth. Likely, as the mind becomes less active, there will be less emotional reaction also. But while it’s there, let it rip. It’s not to understand; it’s just to be. One of the things that you expressed concern about is that if there aren’t goals and such, then all this excitement that comes about reaching the goal would be missing. That kind of a high is a bipolar energy.  Everybody is bipolar. When there is a high up, then there is a high down – or a low down. Stop trying to be somewhere else. Stop having goals. 

Participant 1: And it’s also stop trying to be different than you are.

Participant 2: What am I?

That’s again one of the ego games, one of the lies. “I’m trying to decide who I am”. Then you choose a picture of somebody who you think is more developed or advanced than you are. That has nothing to do with being yourself, because there is no other you. 

Participant 2: But are you saying that the way to come to that point is to see the recordings we have and let go of them?

Let me give you an example. How many of you have a thought that if you were a really, really developed spiritual, good, loving person – you would never get angry? Anger is wrong.

Participant 1: Okay, maybe not never but not that harsh…a little bit more balanced.

Not how you are, but how your mind is telling you, through whatever programming it has had, how you should be. You should never be worried. Never be depressed. How many “should” or “shouldn’ts” are in there in this picture of how the evolved, advanced you would be? Then you try to train yourself out of these traits.

Participant 1: Yes, I feel exactly this way, what you are saying.

There was.an American man who became a spiritual leader. He had a guru in India, and he said to this teacher, “One thing I admire about you is that you are so patient and calm. Nothing seems to upset you.” His teacher responded, “Yes but I was that way long before. That’s just my nature. My teacher would express enormous anger. He would say that he wasn’t angry but that sometimes anger was present. So, it is present. There is an expression. It is gone. That’s it.” If you have the thought, “I don’t want to be an angry person”, then there is a story and you remember that and you feel guilty and judge yourself.

Participant 1: I’m that kind of person who gets angry a lot and I don’t like it. I really don’t. It seems to my last breath I’m going to try to change myself here. I cannot accept that it is normal, that it is okay to be this way. I don’t think I can just say, “Yeah, I am how I am”. 

Relax with it. Give up the ownership of it – “I am an angry person.” Let go of the definition of yourself as an angry person. Sometimes anger is present. Is it always present?

Participant 1: Not always present, but it is sometimes, quite often, and it’s not just anger, anger. Its fucking anger.

Simply notice, “Ho. Anger is present.” If you don’t notice it being there until the anger is no longer present, you can then say, “Anger was present”. Did you choose it?

Participant 1: No

You have no control over it whatsoever. That’s what makes you so angry. (laughter) 

Participant 1: Yes, at times I would like to choose.

Obviously it is not your fault because if it was, you wouldn’t choose it. So, what you are doing is rubbing your own face in it, instead of just expressing your anger whenever it is there. You are judging yourself for being a horrible person for having it. So, you have two things going on: the anger and the judgment about the anger. Notice what happens when you see the judgment going on and say no, that you don’t want to do that. And maybe for a while not only is anger present, but also judgment is present. 

Participant 1: Yeah, those two come together, always.

And guilt is present, too. Simply noticing what is. You didn’t choose it. So, what’s here now? Let’s look at what is here now.

Participant 1: That judgment, the guilt, and then probably we can see something nice. 

When you are not judging yourself and you are not feeling guilty, then you can see what is nice. The story, whether it is “I am angry”, “I’m judging”, or “I’m guilty” – dig deep in there and what’s underneath is probably the same old things; “I’m not lovable” and “I’m not safe”. When you know that you are lovable and safe, what is left to be judged? You have a unique personality which will not change once you let go of your story. You still will have your you. Maybe someone is taking an action in the world that is hurtful to someone else. Maybe the anger just expresses to that. Maybe that person needed to hear that anger, to notice what they were choosing and how they were acting. But the anger just expresses. You don’t have to know why. You don’t have to have a justification. Some people might respond by walking over and hugging the other; some would respond by yelling. There is no rightness or wrongness about either action. But when you think you should or shouldn’t be in a certain way, that’s when you are not you. You are a picture of who you think you should be. And you will never be that person. You will always fail to be someone else, but you can absolutely succeed at being you. 

Participant 2: So, what is oneness?

Oneness is everyone being their unique self, together.  It all fits. Perfectly. 

Participant 1: But then I have this thought of why should I have to be the angry person in the room? That’s not fair. 

Because you have the judgment about your anger.

Participant 1: And it’s a good one.

You probably, as you are observing anger in others, have noticed that if they are expressing anger in a way that you deem as inappropriate, maybe undeserved, maybe bullying – you feel anger about their anger. But if you see somebody expressing anger and you think to yourself that the receiver of the anger deserved it, then you are like this about the anger: “YEAH!!” Is that true?

Participant 1: I guess so. It’s not that I’m against anger period. 

Unless it is yours.

Participant 1: Yes. (laughs) I don’t like anger in myself. 

It pisses you off…

Participant 1: Oh yeah. I cannot choose either. Sometimes I feel hopeless and sometimes I feel furious even more. I would like to go deeper into that question about finding ourselves. When I’m in a deep meditation, I have realizations, so I would like to ask if those realizations are from ego mind or do they come from our true self? What is it?

Notice how it feels to you. Does it stir you up or does it calm you down? This thing of learning to hear your inner guidance, my best advice is to follow what comes rather than trying to judge or analyze. Let go of thoughts of is this the truth for now and forever. It’s your guidance in this moment. Act on it and let it go. See what is there now. 

Participant 2: What do you mean by letting go?

Letting go of the belief that this is just the truth, because looking for the truth is just like looking for meaning. You’ll never know if you have it or not, but if you ever have it, you’ll never be able to explain it. So, you can say this is an approximation that’s your guidance for right now. A week later is it still the guidance? Hmmm, listen…feel it out. You acted on that guidance and you experienced what was in the world as you acted in that way. Your mind thinks that there is a story going on here and you are progressing, you are growing. But what’s really happening is simply that you are being reprogrammed every day by everything that happens. In some ways you hardly recognize yourself from the self you felt to be ten years ago. Maybe some of the root parts of your story aren’t still there as much as they once were. So, you get guidance in the now to do something, you do it, and then you let that story go and be in the present and see what’s there now. If you hold the guidance as being how things should be from now on, it’s no different than defining yourself as an angry person. 

Participant 2: Do you say that there is not a truth to look for? Most of us on a spiritual path are looking for the truth, so you say there is no truth? 

There is a corollary feeling with this guidance. If you feel a passion, follow it. Trust that passion.

Participant 1: Yes, I feel that passion.

Ultimately it might be said that being awakened might be about living in passion in every moment, and not forcing yourself to do something because you think you should. 

Participant 1: I just do it. The action comes with feeling. 

Then it is not about result; it’s about the doing. If it is about result, there will always be some selling out of the truth of it to get to the result. The results do not matter. A hundred years from now you will be dead, nobody will remember that you were around, and nothing you did will mean anything to anyone. The only thing that really makes a difference to anyone is this moment. This moment has nothing to do with where it might lead to. It has to do with this moment. That is all that this channeling amounts to. There is no place to get to. There is just the expressing of what wants to be expressed in this moment, and no idea what will come next. There is no concern about how it will be received, whether it is accepted, rejected, judged, or kicked around the room. That’s none of your business. You are free to do anything you want with everything that comes into this moment. That means you never have to respond in any certain way. Never.


Good Now

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A conversation over “What Is the meaning of life?” Part 2 | Sanhia on Projection

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(Taken from a recent Spiritual Awareness Zoom group. It is recommended that you also read the messages from January and February if you haven’t already done so)


Good Now!

Participant 3: Is a relationship possible if both partners forget all the past?

We call that a divine relationship.

Participant 3: Hey who are you? (laughing) Hi, all of the time. It’s like a new person. 

But they are. You are not the same as you were yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that. Every day, every moment you are a new person. So is your partner. The more tightly that you hold on to your story and the one you have assigned to your partner, the less able you are to notice the present you or the present him. You have already decided what you like and don’t like about that person. Instead of living with the person who is present with you, you are now having a relationship with a projection from your mind. The partner is just being there. You don’t know who they are. Look and see what presents itself in this moment. He doesn’t do anything to you. Doing just happens. Your mind wants to give meaning to everything. You can notice when you are doing that.

Participant 3: But it’s good sometimes. If the person throws cold water on me and I want warm water, then I need to remove myself from them. It’s good to know that it is cold water again and not to expect something else from this person. 

Who is giving them the label of cold-water thrower?

Participant 3: Yes, it’s cold for me. 

That means that wherever you go you will likely get cold water. It may look warm at first, but sooner or later it will feel like cold water. It is you, not the partner, who is giving meaning here. Let’s say that you are absolutely in the now, no past and no future. How can water be cold? (laughter) Something is experienced as unpleasant because the thought is there that this is not what you want to be here. Just for fun, let’s say that you are undifferentiated God and you have the inspiration to find out what water feels like. You have never experienced the physical so you manifest a body and water and jump into it. Would you say that the water is warm or cold? You would have nothing to compare it to. It is just the sensation of water in this now. You can only evaluate temperature if you have a story from another time. Since everyone has their own story no two people will absolutely agree about the comfort of the same water.

Participant 3: I’m confused. If I’m choosing someone to be with, and he’s treating me with cold water, and I keep letting it be, then I’m not being good to myself. 

Are you absolutely certain that you have been doing this choosing? Did you choose to meet this person whom you had never met before? 

Participant 3: It just happened. If he asks me out again after the cold water I can say yes or no. If I’m good with cold water, I can say yes.

But your saying of yes or no is based on your story. Did you choose your story? How far back does this cold water run in your story? Has it happened more than once?

Participant 3: I see how I feel when someone is caring and when they are not caring. It’s a mix of many stories.

It’s just your story. It has nothing to do with him. If you let yourself believe that it is about them, you will meet the same story over and over because it is your story. Your relationship is just the intersection of your stories. 

Participant 3: So, what do I do?

Notice when you are in a story. Saying that he is throwing cold water on you is a story. 

Participant 3: That’s his story.

No, it’s your story. He is just doing what he’s doing. Your story is about projection. You see him doing what you are doing to yourself. The question is why you are throwing cold water on yourself. 

Participant 3: But I’m still not going out with him again.

So, you will let the next one throw cold water and the next. This will go on until you recognize who is throwing the water.

Participant 3: Okay, I see your point. (laughter)

All that you can do is to notice your projection and let go of believing your story about it. The story is that you are a victim of jerks who throw cold water. Now you are the heroine, virtuous but long suffering. You can stand up for yourself, but the scenario merely repeats. The mind takes these things so seriously. But they are not true. None of the story is true. 

Participant 3: Is it about loving yourself? About wanting to be loved?

That’s a story too. Loving or not loving yourself is a story. It might be closer to truth to simply say you are love, or love is. There is nothing but love. It is all one. The mind thinks that perfection is somewhere else, that it’s not here. It’s always looking for someone or some place else and can’t see what is here. Love is here now. You do not fit my mind’s picture of who I want you to be, so there is not love here. Instead of seeing what is not here you can look and see what is actually here. Yes, the thoughts and the judgments and the guilt are here in your mind, but what can actually be pointed at? Do these thoughts actually appear anywhere? Can they be noticed by any of your senses? 

Participant 2: I think that the reason we sometimes feel we aren’t loved and that everything around is not love is because we are judging?

Yes, but mainly judging self. It may look like it is somebody else, but that is just projection. That feels safer. It’s not you, it’s that idiot over there. “Fry him God. I’m a good girl. Let him burn in hell. I’m trying to be as you want me to be.”

Participant 2: If we are saying that the only way is to see and accept what is, what if it doesn’t feel right? What if you don’t like what is?

You notice that there is not-liking-it present. That is not an emotion; that’s a belief or a thought. The emotion is felt in the body. When you push someone away because you notice you feel bad in their presence, you are saying that it is not okay to feel that way. Self judgment takes place for having that feeling. If you totally accepted all your feelings, you would welcome anybody to come in and push any button they could, so that you could feel every one of your feelings. 

Participant 3: I get so confused sometimes. Choosing someone who is a criminal so that he can push my buttons?

We’re just joking a little bit here. You don’t choose who you will be with. Relationships just happen, sometimes, perhaps, with a criminal (laughter). 

Participant 2: But you can choose to stay with them, or leave.

Maybe. (more laughter) Are you sure about that. It’s absolutely an illusion that you are choosing anything. It is just what is.  This doesn’t mean that you can’t walk away from something. When you walk away because it isn’t good, you bring mind and judgment in. The only thing you can be certain about with your mind is that it lies almost all of the time. It evaluates and separates itself from what is. It constantly judges. How do you know that something isn’t good for you? The body may just move away from something instinctively, but that does not come with a mind judgment. It just does that. The mind “chooses” as it does because it is programmed to do that, programmed by the past, not seeing what is present. The mind’s desire is to hide the truth from you; the truth is that you have a story, and that story causes you to have pain and suffering. It also justifies the existence of the ego mind. Better to be a victim than not to exist at all is it’s reasoning. Your story dictates your “choosing”. There is no freedom of choice in that. There is just an endless loop of suffering until you stop believing in your story. As long as you hold on to your story you find yourself back in the same situations. 

Participant 2: What is the way to let go of the story?

Notice that you are telling yourself a story. Notice that you believe your mind is right. Notice that projection is taking place. Notice that you feel a victim. Notice, notice, notice. But don’t take seriously what is noticed. Don’t listen to the voice that says that you must make the right choice to get away from your story. The only way to get away from the story is to realize it isn’t true. It doesn’t matter if you stay or walk away, if you still believe in your story. You’ll meet it somewhere down the road. 

Participant 3: But how to notice the difference. It’s also a judgment to say that this time you did it right. 

Exactly, but perhaps you notice that judgment is present. All that is here is that there is walking away taking place. It is not right or wrong; it simply is what is. If you physically walk away but mentally keep thinking of that person and analysing what he did, you haven’t walked away. You brought him with you while keeping the body at a safe distance. True walking away would not be walking “away” but would be walking into the next experience. Walking away because you have a feeling to do so may not be the same thing as walking away for a reason – for the judgment that there is something you don’t like about the other person. One is reacting to the now; the other is reacting to a story. If you walk away and are still thinking about him, you probably have a story. Notice that there is a story and then be willing to look deeply into it. That means that it is not about him; it’s about you and your story. 

Participant 3: What is my projection when I am perceiving cold water from him? 

How are you throwing cold water upon yourself? It may take a while to see it. It helps to be literal with what you see the other doing, in this case the “throwing of cold water”. 

Participant 3: Do you mean in this very moment?

There is only this very moment. In every moment, whether you are alone, with a male, or with anybody else – you are throwing cold water on yourself. You are the one doing that. Get rid of the middleman, whom you have no control over anyway. It is necessary to let go of the projection before you can really see how you are doing this to yourself. Don’t shoot the messenger. You are the one who has sent the message. If you were willing to look directly at this you would have no need for him to do it. It is scary for you to look at this, but absolutely necessary in order to end the cycle.

Participant 3: That’s why I don’t see it. So, how do I find the key?

The key is to really get that it is you and not him. When you are certain it is in you, I guarantee that you will dig until you find it. The wonderful news is that it is not him. How can you do anything about him?  At least with yourself you have the possibility of going past your resistance to finding why you believe you deserve to be treated the way you are treating yourself. From there you can see if there is any true justification for your self-judgment. Hopefully, you will find that it is based on untruths. If not, keep digging. Self punishment comes about because of self guilt. The truth behind it all is that you are innocent and Divine. Keep digging until you realize that. Without a story there can be no separation, no guilt, no victimhood, and no suffering. If that isn’t worth letting go of projection, I don’t know what could be. It’s not likely to be a quick fix, though stranger things have happened. Likely it will demand persistence. Ego mind will not usually retire gracefully. It will continue to whisper in your ear that it is him and you need to do something about that. 

Participant 2: So, in this case where she says that he did not take care of her and wouldn’t feed her, should that be taken literally?

Excellent point. How do you not feed yourself or otherwise take care of yourself? How do you not give yourself what your heart desires in the moment?

Participant 3: Being polite for example, and not leaving sooner.

When mind and judgment aren’t involved, then leaving is easy. It is better called going to rather than leaving from. You just do it. You have no idea if you are coming back. How could you? You are just going now. Life is just an endless chain of relating to what is here in the present. Some people will occur back in your life often; some never again. Most will fall somewhere in the middle. Even in the closest relationships you come and go; you don’t spend twenty-four hours together each day. 

If in your mind the strongest thought is that the purpose in life is for you to awaken to the truth of yourself, then everything else – relationships, work, money, success, achievement – will be filtered through how it relates to your state of awakening. Nothing else will have a value of its own; none of it can become your purpose in life. If awakening does become your purpose in life, a roadblock remains. You want to wake up because you believe you aren’t. However, you are awake but just not aware of it. So, your purpose is to get someplace that doesn’t exist and that is not possible. It’s here right now. So even awakening cannot be the purpose in life. Knowing your Divinity cannot be the purpose. You already are that. It is not the sun’s purpose to be the sun. It is the sun. You already are that. Look until the you that is looking is one with the observed. No separation. A fish doesn’t notice it is swimming in water. It is one with the water. If there is any purpose, there is separation. All you can do is notice that is present, thinking you should be something different than you are right now. 

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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How can I tell if I’ve awakened? | Sanhia on the Myth of “Becoming” Enlightened

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Good Now!

Most of you who open these messages have the desire to awaken, or perhaps you might say to become enlightened or to ascend, to become aware of your divinity, to let go of identification with the “I”, “me”, body, ego-self separate from the One. If you did not have that intention you would have likely unsubscribed by now (there is still time!), or at least would not be reading this message. As with all questions there are no easy answers and perhaps no answers at all, but we’ll do our best.

We could say that there are two schools of awakening theory. The first could be called the absolutists. They identify the awakening process as an on/off switch. You are either awake or you aren’t. There is no waffling back and forth, no being partially awake. Upon awakening the person that the seeker has identified as “me” is no longer there. There is nobody there trying to accomplish anything or to get anywhere. There is nobody resisting or trying to change what is. There has been no change in the personality; there is simply no longer the presence of a separate self. There is no longer any ownership of self or anything else. The absolutists state there is nothing that the seeker can do to awaken. The attempt to awaken can only be an action of the ego mind, of the separate-self trying to be something else than what it believes it is. Awakening already is – right here, right now – so you can’t make it happen. Awakening is realized by the grace of God. It is beyond personal control because there is no person there to control it. 

The second school of awakening might be called the gradualists. They acknowledge that the sudden switch turning on may happen, but not necessarily for everyone. Perhaps there is a moment of insight, of awareness that there is no you. The mind then might jump in and claim that “I am awake”, but who is “I”?  The person who claims to be awake doesn’t exist and we are thrown back into ego slumber. At best there was a moment of awakeness and then a backsliding. There may be a bit of back and forth. Some experience that there is mostly no self, but occasionally the little me pops back up, though not for long.  Even with a steadier state of awakeness there is a learning curve of how to use that tool. Now that there is awareness that there is nothing that must be done, no purpose, no plan – that there is simply isness – what is to be done in that space? The gradualists say that you learn how to be with that isness. Maybe you become a spiritual teacher, maybe not. Maybe you share your process with others and maybe you aren’t guided in that way. The gradualist school might also suggest that the experience of life, in general, becomes more pleasurable. As there is a movement toward awakening and a letting go of untruths that the mind has believed in – as one finds self being increasingly present, neither weighed down by the past nor anticipating the future – life likely becomes more peaceful, more pleasant. There may be fewer and less intense negative emotions, and daily activities likely may prove to be joyful experiences. So the gradualist might suggest that as your focus remains on the awakening process, the experience of life involves less suffering. 

Both schools would agree that if you have a picture of the awakened, enlightened self as one who is above everything, always peaceful, free of all negative emotions, perhaps just sitting cross-legged for endless hours in bliss, then you are likely part of the horde of seekers who find themselves frustrated by their inability to awaken. That is not the awakened state, for most people at any rate. The awakened you is like the asleep you, just not being a separated individual. No two awakened states will be the same. Sorry, there are no models out there. What you seek is within. The personalities and the preferences are not likely to change much. There will simply be no ownership or attachment to them. There is no way you can know what that will look like nor what that awakening might feel like. 

Let’s return to the initial question. How do you know you’ve awakened? If you are asking the question you are not likely fully realizing your awakeness now. The awakened self would have nobody there to ask such a question. That you doesn’t exist. There is the you that exists, but not the one who is the thinker, or feeler, or doer, but rather the one who is aware. There is no you who is a chooser. You are awake right now. Every one of you. You always have been; you always will be. There is no time, no past or future. There is just the now and in this moment you are awake. You are aware of what’s going on. That is awakeness. Your mind might be denying this awakeness and believing that you have to do something to arrive at such a point, but that doesn’t eradicate your awakeness. It simply means that you are unconscious of your Divine state. In what ways is this unconsciousness expressed? It is through thinking and believing that you are not alright as you are, that you need to be better. Something needs to be done; neither you nor the world are as they should be. The process of realizing your awakeness is always one of subtraction, not of addition. There is nothing you have to become, because you already are that. It’s just a matter of letting go, the subtraction. You let go of beliefs, particularly ones about what enlightenment should look like and of how you need to be different than you are. If you think you need to be more disciplined, you let that go. When you think you shouldn’t be feeling what you are feeling, you don’t hold on to it. You can’t let go of the feeling; that can’t be stopped. It is like the weather. If you don’t want the rain, you let go of that resistance. You can’t stop the rain, so let it pour. You can’t stop your anger, so let it roar. Just leave your mind out of it. There is no cause, no justification, and no reason for the anger. It simply is. Keep noticing where there is no acceptance, where there is resistance and the desire for change. Perhaps you wish to let go but the thoughts are like flypaper and keep sticking. Then you can notice that the inability to let go seems to be happening.  Apparently you don’t have the power to change, because if you could you surely would. You can just notice that inability to let go is happening, and let that be okay. Or that the inability to let go of holding on is happening and that is what is. And so on down the endless hall of mirrors. Let it be okay. Let go of changing it.

The process of noticing your awakeness is a process of simplification. If everything is fine as it is, then there are no problems. There is nothing to fix. You are off the hook. There is no responsibility. On the other hand, as long as things are seen that you think need to be changed or fixed, inside or outside of you, with other people or with yourself, it is not possible to experience your awakened self. No you exists to make those adjustments. It is like clouds separating you from the sun. Nothing is hard except the doomed attempts you make to change what is. Then it becomes impossible. There is no solution. There is no resolution. Over time some of the following characteristics may begin to appear, at least according to the gradualists. The past just disappears and isn’t really there at all. There is no focus on the future. Increasingly the focus is only on what is here now. Often the mind moves into the background and the senses are the focus of attention. When emotions rear up they may not last for long. Is there judgment about those emotions? Yes, sometimes, but it doesn’t usually last for long. There may not be lightning bolt awareness of awakening, but things are okay as they are. Awakening, actually, is not much of a focus anymore, though it might be fun to read about. 

Let’s deal with one last point. The absolutists say there is nothing to do. You will awaken when you awaken. You can’t choose when. You can’t try to make things any different than they are. If you are drawn to this voice, go for it, absolutely. Or, more correctly, don’t go for it.  You might enjoy reading books by Tony Parsons or Wayne Liquorman. For those of you who are drawn more to the gradualist school, you are probably thinking that there must be some things you can do to make a difference. We’ve already discussed this to some degree. You might enjoy reading books by Adyashanti or Fred Davis. Keep noticing where there is resistance and attempts to change things and let that go. Remember to subtract things rather than adding to them. Less trying to change, less judgment, less projection. There can be more allowing, more letting things be as they are, more acceptance of emotions. Let it be okay when you catch yourself holding insane thoughts or thinking you should be doing a better job at screening your thoughts. Notice without holding on or pushing away. Have more awareness of what is actually present. More senses, less mind. Do this when you notice your mind going on a bender. Use your other senses to notice what is really here. The focus of the mind is usually on what isn’t here. What is here is probably fine, or else you will notice a call to immediate action. Keep bringing yourself back here. Look around. Listen. Smell. Feel both with the body and with the emotions. As you are fully present, aware of what is here, you are awake. When the focus is on what is not here, you are asleep. You can always hedge your bet. If taking actions is, as the absolutists suggest, of no value, if you have no ability to affect what will happen, you have nothing to lose by acting. It can neither harm nor help. On the other hand, as the gradualists suggest, you might just be inching your way home. At the very least, your enjoyment of life may be greater. Remember always that you are awake.

Good Now!

Sanhia/Spirit

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Why do you say that time isn’t real? | Sanhia on Escaping the Trap of Becoming

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Good Now

I don’t know if we have time to answer that now. Ha ha! Just kidding. Remember not to believe everything I say. In fact, don’t believe anything. Take the words only as pointers and then check things out for yourself. Even talking about what is real and what isn’t opens a whole can of worms. We have opened that can before and have no idea where all the worms have gotten to. So, let’s just talk about time. Under the rubric of time, there are actually at least two different times we could be referring to. These could be called chronological and psychological time. The first one is easy, so we will just get it out of the way before tackling the more challenging concept of psychological time.

Chronological time is just like the ticking of the clock. It appears to be regular and can be segmented into seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years, and so on. It marches on. Within the illusion of the dualistic physical world, time plays a significant role (some would say it is the fourth dimension). Like eating and breathing, keeping track of time plays a significant role. Awareness allows you to catch a train or flight or to meet a friend. Conducting business relies heavily on chronological time. Like the dream world itself, chronological time is not real (we’ll talk about that more in the discussion of psychological time), but it plays an important role in playing in the illusion.

But, as you have probably surmised, We did not come today to deal with chronological time. Psychological time is where most of your focus lies. in psychological time you believe there is a past, which you think about often. Most of the thoughts that enter your mind come from this past. The questions I place before you are, “Where is this psychological past located?”, “How do you find it?”, and, “Can you get there from here?” The honest answers to these questions are likely, “I don’t know”, “I don’t know”, and, “I don’t think so”. Then there is the psychological future. That is the one that affects you in the deepest way. Of course the past reverberates on and on in an endless loop through your mind. Those of you who consider yourselves to be on spiritual paths are well aware that it doesn’t support you to pay too much attention to these thoughts in your mind, or to listen to the mass consciousness…to all your programming. You are trying to ignore all of that and to live in the now, to hear what the present has for you. For many of you there are things in your mind or your behavior that you don’t approve of, things you want to change. You have goals. Maybe you want to be kinder. Perhaps you want to feel more peaceful. You could wish to let go of judgment and guilt. There are the physical goals like losing weight, giving up smoking, regular exercise, or eating better. You could all fill in the blanks of your own lengthy wish list.

In psychological time you are setting goals, want yourself to improve, to be better. This change will be realized somewhere in the future. You might go so far as to set an exact time when your goal will be achieved. Again, where is this future? How do you find it? Can you get there from here? You know the honest answers to these questions. There is just now. There is no past; there is no future. These are just constructs of your mind. Meanwhile, you can only be here. In psychological time you want to be anywhere else, but there is nowhere else to be. You feel ambushed by your past. You don’t like your present self and want to turn out a new, improved version. However, it is always now and you are stuck with the version you have. You don’t accept who you are, dreaming only of the hypothetical you that doesn’t exist. Tomorrow never comes. It is always now. So, in the insane world of psychological time you are guided by a non-existent past to create a non-existent future, while ignoring or resisting the only true time, the present.

This place you long for of peace, love, innocence, and acceptance can only be found now, in this present moment. It is here right now. You can only experience what is here. Why do I say that time isn’t real? I am talking about psychological time. I am talking about the past and the future. Now time is very real. It is all there is. If you want to experience peace, let go of your ideas of how to get there. Give up plans to find it in the future. Look right here, right now, and see what is there. Don’t let yourself escape into your mind. Stay here. Use all of your senses. Accept the feelings, the sensations that come to the body. If there is a perfect future, go there right now. Why live one more moment in agony? You don’t do it because you can’t. You either find peace here and now or you never find it. What you do when you live in the illusion of psychological time is to sacrifice the present for the future, which doesn’t even exist.

Let’s come back to true time. Whatever you want to have that you don’t believe is in the present and for which you decide to do your programs, your training, your meditation, or whatever systems you’ve come across so that in the future you will have what you now lack –  cut the middleman out. Don’t meditate for future peace. Have peace now. You ask how you can have peace now? Stop fighting. What are you fighting? You are fighting you now. When you say you are not the you that you wish to be, you are at war with yourself. How can you experience peace while being at war? Stop fighting the you that is here now and accept it. We are not even going to go into the many people in the world that you are at war with, that you want to change, that you might believe you or others are victim to. Stop fighting if you want peace. Stop believing you need to be different. Make peace with what is here now. Everything and everyone is as they are now. You cannot change it, no matter how much you might wish to. You can give up fighting. You can accept the perfection of God being in this very moment. That requires looking without a thought of what could or should be. It means really seeing what is present and fully engaging with it.

Of course all of this flies in the face of what most spiritual paths are teaching. These teachings say that you have to work for your spiritual goals. You must have discipline. You must make yourself grow and change. This guidance might have you work with your thoughts, practice positive thinking, express your emotions, always practice forgiveness, meditate, do yoga, eat a vegan diet, proselytize, fast, help those in need, or any other form of discipline. Act in the right way now so that you will have a better future, so that you can be the person you believe you should be. Ego mind goes crazy when told that you don’t have to do anything or become anything – that you are that now. There is nothing you have to do. There is no goal, no discipline, no guru. All of that is counter-productive. It takes your focus away from the now, from what is, and places it on what isn’t, the psychological illusion of time.

When your mind is encouraging you to set goals and think of a new you, open your eyes and see what is around you. Is what you notice there because you asked it to be there? No, it’s just there. Can you change anything about what is there? You might have a temporary affect through meeting what is there, but in the meantime life goes on. It is alive. It moves. It changes. It does not follow your personal will or desires. Life is what it is. You can notice what is there. Look at it. Let it be there. Enjoy it!  See what is actually there, rather than noticing what it isn’t. Let go of what it isn’t. It will never be that. You will only experience pain, loss, and suffering. Let it be. Stop fighting and accept what is there. If you notice having an unloving thought toward another, that is what is here now. If there is judgment toward self, again that is what is there. If there is sadness, let it be there. Rather than trying to change what it is, really let yourself experience it. Let the feelings be present. Explore them in your body rather than trying to chase them away or transform them. Choose peace now. Stop fighting. See what you actually find in the now when you are not busy trying to change it. Use all of your senses in this exploration. There is awareness. There is noticing. There is the illusion of choosing, but what is cannot be unchosen any more than it can be chosen. You can imagine an alternate reality, but you can’t go there. You just go into hiding from the present. You just go into a war against what God has brought to you – brought in Love. How can you possibly enjoy a present that you refuse to accept, that you don’t want? How can such a life be one of peace and love?

I’m not suggesting that you set as a goal to no longer set goals, that you choose to not be focused in the future, but look only at the present. If you are setting goals, notice that you are setting goals. If you are aware of looking to the future, just be aware of that. It is not about changing but about being aware; if you notice that you are not aware, also let that be. There is nothing to change. There is only what is here now. You’re here in true time, in the only time, in the present moment. Hang out. Hang out with whatever appears to be here with you. It’s all God’s gift to you.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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How do I deal with challenging people in my life? | Sanhia on The Power of Projection

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There is only one challenging person in your life. That, of course, is you. As long as you consider yourself to be a victim of the actions or behaviors of others, your life on planet Earth will be experienced as less than pleasant. Fortunately, victimhood is not the case. We have spoken before about the term projection. There are worse things that you could do than to print up a dozen cards with the word projection on them and post them throughout your home, car, and workplace…on every mirror, by the toilet…as a constant reminder that all you see in the world is your projection, no exceptions. The ego mind goes absolutely ballistic over this and will try incessantly to create exceptions. There are no exceptions. Cause and effect. You are the cause and the world is the effect. Never the reverse.

So, as they like to say in new age circles, there are no challenges or problems, there are only opportunities. These challenges with other people, which are your own creation, are opportunities for you to free yourself from judgment and separation. Or…you can go on pretending that it’s all about other people…and suffer. It’s your call. We don’t have a horse in this race. As a review, this is how projection works. Your ego mind, which thinks it knows everything or at least can figure everything out, knows nothing and can’t figure out anything. It believes you are this body, but you’re not. It thinks you are separate from God and Divinity, but you’re not. If we present this in the form of a story, keeping in mind that no story is true, it might go something like this. The ego believes that it chose to separate from God. This is the tiny confusion from which all of your “problems” stem. The ego is in error because it is not possible to separate from God. Anyway, on with the story. Ego mind creates this body and this universe as a way and a place to hide from God. Realizing it has made a bad choice, wanting to go back home, desiring God’s forgiveness, but feeling that this attempt to kill God is both unforgivable and deserving of severe punishment – ego is in a tough spot. Let’s list some other things that ego mind doesn’t understand. First, you never left home. There is no separation. The body and the Universe are what is not real. God does not and cannot judge. God is pure Love. God does not and cannot punish. Meanwhile in its imagined sinfulness, ego comes up with a plan. Put the blame on somebody else. Maybe God will notice that it is the other and not you who is guilty and deserving of judgment and punishment. “Burn them God! It’s their fault and not mine. I’m Innocent!”, you think. This is projection. Every time you judge another for anything, small or large, it is your guilt that you are projecting. It is all about you and not about them. In addition, you try to be a “good” person so that God will see that you are worthy to be brought back home. The only problem is that you cannot earn something that you already have and the only one accusing you of sin is you. No number of good acts or projections will cleanse you of your self-imposed guilt. You cannot buy your way into heaven. You never left. It is only this guilt that holds you in your earthly hell. So, forgive yourself. End of story.

Well, not quite. You go on through life projecting. Other people are wrong. Other countries are wrong. Other religions are wrong. You are right and you are good, but there is something inside you that doesn’t buy the whole story, that suspects that it is you who are truly guilty. Deep down is this fear, this dread of the inevitability of the coming retribution. Unconsciously you draw loss, pain, failure, illness, and emotional turmoil into your life, always trying to pay this unpayable debt. This is where the healing can begin. Let go of the projection upon God. Let go at the same time of the projection that you have toward yourself. You are innocent. Nothing happened. You did not leave God. God is not upset. It is all much ado about nothing. You cannot hurt God and God cannot hurt you. There is only Love here.

Now let’s return to the opportunity that you called a challenge. You have heard these words from me, perhaps read similar words in A Course in Miracles or heard them from some other teacher, but the bottom line is that you don’t feel them. You feel yourself to be victim to another’s energy. You’re sick and tired of everything but don’t know what to do with it all. This projection works in a very specific way. You don’t project everything on everyone. You project wonderful things onto some people, seeing them as loving and good. When you find yourself with a specific judgment toward another, that is what you believe about yourself but don’t want to face. You fear being punished, so you go into denial and project. Ego mind jumps in and yells, “I’m not like that!”. In truth you are not, but you believe that you are. Until you own this. Until you accept that the judgment is about self and has nothing to do with the other, nothing will change. You will live in projection and victimhood.

Your job, then, is to take ownership of the projections, to accept that the judgment is aimed toward the self. For example, if your projection is that another is not honest with you, ask how you are not honest with yourself. What untruths about self are you believing to be true? Anything short of recognizing your absolute innocence, your Divinity, is part of the lie. You are absolutely loved by God, but are you telling yourself that you are unlovable? You are always provided for, but are you telling yourself that you are undeserving and needy? Forgiveness is not a matter of recognizing where you have been bad and then asking to be forgiven. It is the realization that you have not and could not err, so there is nothing to forgive. There is only the Love of God.

Let’s look at a specific example so you might gain a clearer picture of how this whole process has worked and could work for you. A popular one for those of you who have children is being a victim to them. “They never clean. They don’t do their homework. They are not responsible. They don’t listen to me. They don’t follow my rules. They don’t respect me as the adult.” We could go on and on and you could each add to the list from your own experiences. Let’s just focus on one part of the litany, “My daughter never cleans up after herself. I am left with the choice of being in a constant fight or surrendering to grudgingly being my daughter’s maid.” The choice you make doesn’t matter. What effects you feel come from what you carry around inside yourself. There is a judgment of her irresponsibility causing you to make one of two equally undesirable choices. There is a good possibility that if you listen inside there is a parent saying a similar thing about you. You were taught to be a good person, to clean up after yourself. Did that result in you feeling like a good person? Probably not. Did you learn to feel guilt when you didn’t clean up? Probably. Did you resent being told what to do? Most likely. Now as an adult you act out of guilt and resentment when you must clean up. Instead of facing this inner anger and judgment, along comes this young whippersnapper on whom you can project all of this. The child may not be carrying the guilt or having a thought about what they should do unless you have been successful in drumming it into her. Maybe she is stronger than you and your parents’ games don’t work with her. Instead of passing your guilt on to her you could realize that each moment of each day you are carrying thoughts about what you should be doing to be a good person. What should you do? What does God want you to do? When you were small your parents represented God for you. They taught you right and wrong, good and bad – providing punishments and rewards. That was your first church.

You have the opportunity to notice that you have been forcing yourself to do what you don’t want to do. Ego mind screams out, “Yeah! But if I don’t do it the house will be a total mess!” Maybe. So what? Ego mind says there is probably a special circle in hell for bad housekeepers. Is that really true? Does God only take back home those with clean houses? What is actually going on here? What is really true? Recalling that God is unconditional love and acceptance, there are no rewards or punishments, no heaven or hell. You never left; it is only the ego mind that believes that what goes on here is of any consequence. So back to now. Do you clean or not clean? Perhaps you wait until you feel like doing it. Perhaps your standards of cleanliness go through a transition. Perhaps you start listening more to what the inner guidance and the body tell you instead of marching to the orders of the guilt driven ego mind. Without a sense of compulsion there may be a joy in the act of cleaning. Perhaps in the now there is exhaustion, so go relax. Above all, thank your daughter for putting you in touch with your guilt and denial. Always thank your mirrors…at least silently.

The root of all the fear, guilt, and blame is in the belief in separation. The truth is that there is Oneness. You are One with the Divine and with each other. What another is doing is what you are doing. It is all connected. In the perfection of what is happening right now in each moment, everything is unfolding exactly as it should. The script, as we said in the last message, has already been written. If you accept what is without resistance, it opens you up to the truth of your Divinity, to your Oneness with the Creator and the creation. Can you begin to see the enormous value of seeing the actions of another as your projection? You are being handed the keys to the kingdom. All is within you, never outside of you. What a perfect gift your child, or whomever appears to be a challenge, is offering you with their every action. All of this requires no volition on anybody’s part. Nobody needs to have any understanding of the part they are playing. They cannot help but to serve you. You only have choice on whether you wish to be served or bothered.

It doesn’t matter if the challenge in your life appears to be somebody who is irresponsible with money, has an addiction, is trying to control you, is abusive, ignores you, doesn’t accept you for who you are, or – we could go on and on and on. It doesn’t matter if this person plays a central part in your life or you only meet them once. You have the choice to be a victim (seemingly forever) or to grasp the opportunity to let go of your imagined separation and see the gift that is being offered. As long as you hold this as being about the other there is no way out. You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. But you are blessed and loved. This is your creation and you are doing a perfect job. Accept it and live in this now. You deserve to experience the Love and Peace that is the truth of You.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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Whatever You Think, You Are Wrong | Sanhia on the Nature of Reality and Awakening

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You know it is both difficult and easy to speak out of both sides of my mouth. It is difficult because I have neither a mouth nor sides, but it is easy because I just place the words in Michael’s mouth, and he has agreed to share them without question. Any words that I use do not tell the truth so it can be helpful to state things in differing and even contrasting ways to approximate truth, to triangulate what actually is. I have been talking differently about reality in some of the more recent messages than I did in messages back several years ago. If you want to check that out for yourself click here and then click on reality for a list all the messages where the term is mentioned. Anyway, this is a good question, so let’s look more deeply into it.

Recently We have talked about reality as being what is in the now. For example, if it is raining now, that is the reality. We talk in terms of simple acceptance of what is in the now. If you have resistance to reality, if you want to change it – good luck with that. But it’s not just the weather, it’s everything. What is is. It cannot be changed. You might want to change it in the future, even the near future. That’s another matter we will deal with shortly, but reality is what is here right this moment. When one ignores it or doesn’t accept it, is upset and in opposition to it, or wants to change it there will be frustration, pain, suffering, and a sense of failure because the now cannot be altered. The reality cannot be changed. When there is resistance to the now, it makes it nearly impossible to hear your inner guidance, Spirit, or your Divine Self, because the ego mind is just too loud. This is the reality we have been referring to. It has been suggested that the more one is willing to notice what is present right now – without judging it or wishing to change it – the more one accepts the feelings triggered in this now, the more one learns to hear that quiet inner voice. We have encouraged you to do that, to take what is in the now as the perfect thing, to receive what Spirit is presenting to you to help you realize your Divine nature.

Let’s start moving out to a wider sense of reality. One step out is to say that your only function for being, for having this experience in the physical with a body is to wake up to the truth of your Divine Nature. Nothing else matters. That’s a big step from accepting the now. Nothing else matters but being awake. In this process of awakening there are different levels. The ground level is having the desire, the intention to awaken. That can only come from the ego mind. As you have likely noticed by now, the ego mind is very clever and anything but self destructive. The urge to awaken is most unlikely to make an appearance when things are going as one wishes they would. The ego only grudgingly allows a peek at this when you have become quite frustrated with the lack of delivery on ego promises. But a full awakening would mark the death of the ego. So, what proceeds to manifest in this world of duality is opposites. On one side the intention to awaken is a prerequisite. On the other hand, as long as you hold on to the intention to awaken, you cannot notice you already are awake. Awakeness is in the now; goals put your mind into the non-existent future. How do you make the shift from wanting to awaken to realizing awakeness?  At some point the synapse is crossed, you realize you are and always have been awake. You’ve just been pretending to be asleep. We could call the ego mind that pretender. However, you can have the idea that you really are awake, but that is still the ego mind running things, not a true experience. So, what happens somewhere along the line (remembering that time doesn’t really exist), through what I like to call “the grace of God”, after countless letting goes of the ego mind, is it happens. This occurrence is after intention has been released.  You know in that instant that none of this really matters, that the physical is just an illusion. If that is followed by the thought that you are awake now, say hello again to your ego mind. It doesn’t matter. It will likely happen. The truth is in your divinity. It cannot be hidden forever. More often you will find yourself noticing the now with no attachment, with no agenda, with no resistance, with welcomeness and gratitude.

As we are talking about this, because all we can do is use words and point, we could describe this as the first step of awakeness. None of this really matters. You still notice the world around you, the phenomenal world.  You are still aware of the body, the vehicle you use for this exploration and interaction with this physical illusion. There is another level of reality. It could be stated thusly, “Reality is that which never changes.” Ego mind will get hold of this and state that the now constantly changes; nothing stays the same. It will remind you that I have said, “As you are noticing the emotions, accept them, feel them, let them move about, let them be free, welcome them, and let them lead you. They will constantly change.” Ego may add that if change equates to not real, how could I say that what is in the now, including feelings are real? Now I seem to be saying the now isn’t real? And what about everything in the phenomenal world? The weather changes, plants and animals grow and then die, your physical body has and will go through enormous change from conception through birth, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, maturity, old age and death. So now am I saying that everything that is a part of the now is not real. You are understanding me completely. Anything that does or can change is not real. This becomes quite a challenge for the mind. Is there anything in the universe that does not change? If you think the earth or the sun will always be here, check out what the science says. Even if the Bible is taken literally, the universe has both beginning and end. Absolutely nothing of the physical realm is real because everything changes. What about this entity that I have referred to as “you” or you refer to as “I”, this awareness that experiences the changes in the phenomenal universe? Is it real? Whew!

The questions seem to be getting harder. Are you real? Let’s toss another one out there for you. If nothing in the physical world is real and you are the observer of these illusions – if there is nothing to observe, is there still an observer? If the world is not real, are you real? If there is nothing to observe, can you observe nothing? The closest that we can come with words in defining that which never changes might be to call it Divinity, or maybe God if you can suffer that term, or perhaps the Oneness. If you are a creation of that Whatever, made in Its own image, that too sounds like a change. Divinity simply is…always. If out of this never changing, timeless, infinite Isness you are created, then, by definition, you aren’t real either. Using the metaphor of the ocean, which is undifferentiated water; it is all ocean. A wave can emerge on its surface, but has no identity separate from the ocean. Without the ocean the wave does not exist. It may seem to have its own identity and direction, but eventually it crashes on a beach and returns to the oneness, having no further identity as a wave. Even the water that is considered to be part of the wave does not move with it; there is just this motion on the surface. Without the ocean there is no wave.

So, the ultimate reality is undifferentiated Divinity. There is no you. This reality is beyond anything the mind can comprehend. It is beyond anything the senses can be aware of. For the ego mind, such a picture triggers absolute terror. It represents not only the dissolution of the ego mind, but the dissolution of any aspect of a separated self, absolute non-existence. Oneness. No separation. Such ideas are impossible to comprehend or sense. So, after you reach the step of awareness that you are a Divine Entity, created by God in Its own image and that there is no reality in the physical realm, your awakening is not over. It has just begun. As long as there is an observer watching the illusion of physicality there remains a separation from the Oneness. The ultimate awakening, for which We have used the term ascension, is where there is no longer a sense of you observing the physical illusion. Now ascension implies a rising up, but there is no direction involved; there is nothing. There is no longer a separate observer. There is only the ocean of Oneness.

Even though there is no forward or backward, We will appear to take a step back into looking at this now. For some of you there is a great challenge in doing things like accepting the “perfection of the now.”  I will encourage you to let go of perfection as a term. Instead, keeping in mind this larger vision of reality, flow with whatever is – reminding yourself that it doesn’t matter. Perfect or imperfect, it makes no difference. Either way it’s not real. It doesn’t matter. If you are only here to realize you are already awake, whatever is happening is helping you to do that. If you are pretending to be asleep, no matter what happens you will experience pain and suffering. Whether you are trying to find perfection or imperfection you are going to suffer. In duality there cannot be one without the other. This is true of every thought you might have. It has an opposite. There is no reality in trying to explain or understand. There is only more confusion. That is why we encourage you – as you are in the process of realizing that you already are awake – to let the mind go. It’s not about learning, it’s about unlearning everything you think you know. Whatever you think, you are wrong. If you are pretending to be separate from what you observe, you are going to suffer. Beyond that, this whole unreal movie you are pretending to be a part of is already scripted. You have no choice in changing it. Your only choice is whether or not you accept it as real. You are powerless as an observer. The outcome is already known. What is occurring in the minutia of the moment doesn’t matter. We can guess that in the scope of the illusion of time as the script runs, you stop playing in the game of time. You start playing with awareness in the game of Divinity, of infinity, in the game of God. You realize that you are One with what you observe; that there is no separation. You know that nothing matters. Even if you are still playing in the game, using the vehicle you have to interact with the now, you know that it doesn’t matter. You just enjoy the ride. Or don’t enjoy the ride. Or enjoy not enjoying the ride. It doesn’t matter.

If you have the thought in the moment – and maybe it has been a long-time prayer or mantra, maybe, God forbid, you learned it from Me – “Spirit help me accept the perfection of the now” you may be enabling the ego mind to try to find something good about what is happening. This triggers the good/bad duality. In that interplay the mind usually wants to go for the positive. It doesn’t ask Spirit for help in accepting the imperfection of the now. So, the negative is denied and pushed away. Try letting go of perfection and accepting what is as what is. That is reality. Eventually it is what isn’t. That, too, is reality. You begin by accepting the reality of what is. but eventually realize there is no isness. Nothing including the observer is real. But how can you realize that if you think what is happening in your movie is real? As long as that is the case, then the separate you is real too. If you are thoroughly confused at this point, then my work is done.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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Does peace of mind lead to stagnation? | Sanhia on Accepting the Now

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This question comes from a reader who writes, “I have a nagging question about peace of mind. Doesn’t that lead to stagnation? When people stop struggling it leads to lethargy and aimlessness. The heart of my question is ‘Is struggle a universal truth?’ I have tried to give everything to the spirit but am limited in being aware of the true potential of doing that.”

Okay. I think that many readers may share your confusion. I will start by stating that what you are encountering each and every moment in the now simply is. It cannot be changed. It is; it’s here now. There is no rewind to allow you to go back and to make it different. It is what it is now and could not be anything else. This is no small matter. We could say that this is everything. Your whole question centers around changing what is. There is nothing that you can change. The mind responds, “Oh maybe not the now but I can change the future. I can build a tomorrow that is better than the now.” My next question is to ask what is wrong with the now? You might construct a laundry list of what is wrong with things as they are. How do you know each of these items is wrong? Does it feel bad? Is it uncomfortable or painful? Are things not the way you want them to be? In your mind there is a past. Is any part of what you are unhappily experiencing now a part of the future you chose for yourself then? Have things turned out exactly as you planned? Why not? These are important questions to consider. There are many parameters to this. Maybe you have asked for something different than what is but find your request seemed to have little impact. So, what do you do? How many times do you try to run into that wall until you accept there is no doorway there? Perhaps you lack the power to change how things are.

Secondly, what makes you think that you know how things should be? Are you certain? Each one of you can recall things in what appears to be your past which were not pleasant, perhaps painful, and which you certainly would not have wished to have happened. But these events changed your experience of yourself and life in such a way that you can now have gratitude for their occurrence. Had it been up to you, you would not have chosen those happenings. Yet they helped you move through barriers that had previously felt to be impenetrable. Perhaps you are begging to and wondering if you can go forward and grow without having pain. The answer seems to be “apparently not”; at least you have not demonstrated that ability up to this point. The suffering is not brought about by what occurs, but by your resistance to it – by your struggle. So, we come back to this now. It’s the only place you are ever going to be. If you reject your now but claim instead you will create a better future, you will end up in a perpetually unacceptable now trying to create a better future. There is no future. There is just now. The only way that your now becomes acceptable is to accept it as it is. Otherwise, you will continue as you have, day after day, year after year, incarnation after incarnation, searching for a better now, looking everywhere but within and to this moment. There cannot be stagnation in the now because everything is in constant movement. Stagnation comes from the mind trying to control what cannot be corralled. So, stop trying to fight it, stop trying to change it, stop feeling the victim. Accept the present fully as it is.

Lethargy and aimlessness are consequences of repeated failures to create the world you think you want. Why even try anymore, you might think? Such a result is not a bad thing. As we have spoken about above, this can lead you to finally accept what is and find a peace that has always evaded you. It seems – and this is the fear you expressed in your question – that the choice is between struggle as a universal truth or aimlessness and lethargy. Are you sure those are the only choices?  You said that you have tried to give it to Spirit but are limited in knowing the true potential of doing that. If when leaving things to Spirit you have an idea of how you want your situation handled, you haven’t left it Spirit. If you have a picture of the outcome, if you are directing Spirit in any way, you are not leaving it to Spirit. You are still struggling, still trying to change the now. Leaving it to Spirit begins with accepting what is here now without a thought of changing things. This isn’t such a bad idea because it is here. There is nothing to be done about it. The horse is already out of the barn. There is nothing for you to do. Giving it to Spirit requires only that you are aware of what you are giving, that you surrender any part of the handling of the situation. Give the present your full attention, letting go of all thoughts – which are of the mind, not of Spirit. Your mind has a goal and wants to reach the top of the mountain. There is no top; there is just climbing. There is just goal after goal after goal. There might be a brief respite in realizing a goal, but it is soon replaced by a new target. No achievement is enough. The ego is in full control. Giving it to Spirit is the end of goals. Even giving it to Spirit cannot be a goal, only a pointer, only a reminder to notice when you are not doing that. Home is not a goal. It is where you are now. Stop! Pay attention. Let go. See what is here. These goals and this struggle are all based on the belief that nothing is enough, that you are not good enough, smart enough, loveable enough, successful enough, evolved enough, deserving enough to be welcomed into the loving arms of the Divine. So on and on you struggle vainly, like Sisyphus, to reach what cannot be reached. None of those thoughts/fears are true. Again, just stop it. Let that mind go. Pay no attention. See what Spirit is bringing you now.

When you give it to Spirit you let go of all thought of control, all addiction to fomenting change, all lack of trust in the perfection of what is. You may ask, “How can I do that Sanhia?”  It is my habit to do all of those things; how can I stop? You become aware of that. Notice when your mind wants to take over. Don’t act on it. Ignore what your mind is saying and bring yourself back to noticing the present. Your mind will likely go absolutely nuts with this. You will feel that your health, your body, your finances, your whole world will fall apart if you don’t exercise control. Notice all of that and give it to Spirit. Don’t look to the future; don’t consider the past; your only focus is on what is here right now. What you are likely to be absolutely aware of in your now are extremely uncomfortable emotions. Wonderful! All of your actions in your past have been to avoid facing these feelings. Now, that is impossible. Welcome to your NOW. Keep releasing your thoughts about these feelings. Avoid labelling them. Feel them. Notice where they occur in your body. Fully experience the sensations. Release the desire to chase them away, to change them, to rationalize their existence, or to understand them. Just let them be. Set them free to express however they might wish to do. Your job is to watch, feel, and follow. Notice where you hold a definition of yourself as depressed, angry, jealous or whatever.

Replace those thoughts with the simple awareness that depression, anger, jealousy, or whatever seem to be present. Then let that go and return to the feeling that is being expressed in your body. Now it is no longer depression but a feeling in your heart chakra that perhaps feels heavy and constrictive. The thought is not from the now, but the feeling is very much in your present. So, stay with the bodily sensations, following rather than leading. If you notice yourself trying to lead or alter the feelings, just be aware of that and return focus to the body. Leaving it to Spirit is accepting whatever is here now. What is here now are these bodily sensations. Perfect. Receive and follow. This is giving it to Spirit. These feelings won’t be here forever. Everything moves constantly in the now. Enjoy them while you can. Let them move. Let them amplify or diminish. Let them morph into something else. What is key here is the word “let”. This is Spirit’s gift to you. If you are struggling, you are resisting Spirit, not trusting the Divine. Spirit is always bringing you what you most need. Your only job is to open your heart in gratitude instead of resisting and thinking you know better. This is what giving it to Spirit is. Giving it to Spirit is realizing that you are actually giving nothing; Spirit has always had it. You have no need to create heaven on earth. You don’t have a clue as to what that actually would be nor how to bring it about.

That heaven is presented in every moment by Spirit. If you are wondering how this pain you are experiencing could be called heaven on earth, please reread the July message. When you experience discomfort, whether it be mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual, you do the counter-intuitive thing. Your mind wants it to stop, but instead you dive into it, immersing yourself in the pain. You do the opposite of what the ego wants. Instead of applying the brakes, you accelerate. You drive/dive right into what you want to have go away. If things terrify you, jump into your fear. Where is it in your body? Feel it. Let it go wild. It may feel like it will kill you. Find out if it will. The alternative is to live with that fear forever. It is time to remind you that none of this is real. It is all a fantasy, a dream – or a nightmare for some of you. Your ego mind takes it all deadly seriously. Nothing in the physical experience truly matters. What matters for you is your belief in it and the energy you give to the importance of the illusion. All of this keeps the dream alive for you. Whatever it is that you fear or that triggers other feelings you label as negative is not real. You won’t realize that by listening to Me. This awareness will only come through diving into it. Attempting, though of course unsuccessfully, to chase it away just makes it real to you.

All that is real is the You that is experiencing all of this. It will never go away. So, have your experiences. Enjoy the ride. Do you choose your experiences each day? Only to a limited degree. Truth be told, you never know what is coming next. Stop trying to control, change, or hide from what appears. Hop on board. The true You is indestructible. The Divine You has chosen for you. Whatever happens, when the dust settles, there you are. You simply are. As Spirit is, as God is, You are. Your mind thinks you are the body, you are less than Divine, and that you will die. Stop listening! Dive into the now. Dive into the feelings. Otherwise, there can never be peace of mind, nor can that peace come out of an intention or a goal. In that case you are busy trying to change what is.

Let’s come back to the original statement about peace of mind leading to stagnation. Have you ever had peace of mind for a long and sustained period of time? Have you felt that peace for weeks, months, or years on end? I would be very surprised if your honest answer was yes. If it is no, how can you think that peace of mind leads to stagnation? You have no experience to back up such a belief. That is just another crazy idea, one of thousands in the insane mind of humanity. So, let’s let go of peace of mind, of heaven on earth, of love, joy, and happiness as constant states of mind, of never experiencing “negative” emotions. Go for not going. Go for hanging out with or without lethargy with what is now. Your only goal is to have no goal (previous message), to be with what is. Does that mean that you don’t interact with the world? Of course you do, but not with the intention to create a certain result. You play because it is all there is to do. Whatever presents itself is the only game in town. If emotions are triggered in the playing of the game, then that is a part of the game. Play on. If part of your game is to try to change the game, I wish you the best of luck. We can talk again later. I am always a part of your game. Listen to your Divine Inner Coach.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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How Do I Deal with Addictions? | Sanhia on True Healing Within

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We’ve received several questions from individuals who find that dealing with addictions is a major component in their lives. Often this takes the form of having a partner and/or a parent who is an alcoholic. These people relate feelings of helplessness, being compelled to try to aid but experiencing a hopelessness that things will ever change. The first place to look, always, when it seems that another is causing you problems or you feel yourself to be the victim of their behavior, is at projection. Whatever you are seeing or judging in another is yours. It shows what you believe and judge in yourself. The ego mind will scream out, “No! It’s them, it’s not me!” Listening to the ego thoughts just continues the cycle, ensuring there will be no resolution and no change. The hopeless endlessness and futility of any attempts at solutions will persist. The cause of the challenge is never outside of you; it is always within.

Confusing cause and effect is the hallmark of the ego mind. When you accept that the addiction is yours, it becomes a whole new game. You can now ask yourself what you are addicted to. You will not likely face that if you remain attached to the belief that it is the other who is addicted. In the case of perceived alcoholism, some people are addicted to living with an alcoholic. Addiction is a patterned response when one doesn’t accept what is here now in their life. Of course, this is easily seen with alcoholics. They find life to be not acceptable. Depression or other undesirable emotions can be escaped through the consumption of alcohol. Addiction is simply avoidance; it is using some technique to not be in the now. It is an expression of wanting life to be other than it is. An awareness of the habit of rejecting what is in yourself makes it much easier to see your own addiction. You may be telling yourself that you don’t drink like your partner does, so you are not an addict. But do you reject your partner as they are, wishing them to display different behavior? That may be one of your addictions. You do not accept what is. Your mind might be asking, is it okay just to accept the drinking with no attempt to stop it? Has your disapproval, your judgment had any effect so far? Do you actually have the power to change the situation? For some of you this has gone on for decades. All your efforts have failed. What remains is the addiction to try to make a difference, to not accepting what is.

Let’s take this away from the stereotypical examples of addiction such as alcohol and drugs. Anything that you do to avoid being in and accepting the now is addictive behavior. Let’s say you are having an uncomfortable feeling. You may choose to meditate, because in your experience, meditating allows you to rise above uncomfortable emotions and go to another more peaceful place. This is addictive behavior. Though this action does not carry along with it the same health concerns that accompany drinking or drugs, it is like them in that it does not “solve” the problem. It simply avoids it for the moment. The feelings will return. The habit of choosing to escape uncomfortable feelings will continue. The relief is only temporary. You each have your addictions of choice for avoiding what you don’t want to see. Some go for walks, train or run, or eat (ice cream seems to be the recipient of much of the blame here).

What would it look like to actually face the demons in your life? To begin with it might mean to empty the mind of thoughts about the situation. Thoughts are an addiction. The need to understand is an addiction. Let go of that mental activity. You can’t stop a thought from coming into your mind, nor can you choose the next one. You can choose to not dwell on what arrives. You can stop following or acting on those thoughts. You can starve them through inattention. Where does the focus go if not to mental activity? Your awareness goes to the feeling you are wanting to escape. You probably have a label or a name for this feeling. It might be anger, envy, hopelessness, frustration, or anxiety. Let go of the definition; don’t give it a name. Don’t treat it like a thing and put it in a box. Instead ask how this emotion now expresses itself in your body. What are you feeling? Notice where in the body these sensations are felt. What are they like? Do not try to get rid of them or to have them change in a way that might be more comfortable. Even let go of any thoughts that your willingness to face the feelings will allow you to feel better.

All the preceding warnings are to help you avoid addictive behavior. The ego mind wants to choose anything rather than be with what is, so your job is simply to accept or face what is there and to experience it fully without any other agenda. As you fully experience the sensations, as you pay complete attention to them, you will notice that they change. Nothing remains constant in the now except your presence and awareness. The change that occurs is not due to your attention. Change is the natural course. Your attention simply allows you to be aware of the movement. If you try to use your mind to explain and understand or change the feeling, you lose touch with what is being felt in the now and, instead, will hold on rigidly to the previous feeling. This does not mean that the change will provide a lessening of the sensation. It might increase; it might move to other parts of your body. Again, your only task is to stay with the bodily sensation and ignore whatever your mind might try to tell you. So, you sit and listen to whatever is present in those feelings just as you might sit and listen to the birds chirping or the leaves rustling in the breeze or the scream of a siren in the distance. Those sounds are there. You can’t make them go away. You can cover your ears, but the sounds are still there. You can choose addictive behavior, but the feelings are still there. You can opt to experience the fullness of the feelings in your body without taking recourse to the addictive patterns of thinking about the discomfort. Let go of definitions and words. Find out what is truly there and allow it to exist. Let it remain as long as it wants to be there. Let it morph into whatever it will become, not because you wish it would become something else, but because that is its nature, and you are curious to see where it will lead.

Let’s return to something we touched on earlier. I can hear the silent screams coming from some of you, upset that We might call your meditation an addiction. The function of meditation is to experience and hear what is present, totally, including the guidance that is heard from your inner wisdom, from your Divine self. It is not to be used to shut out the world or to go to a euphoric place. That, again, is addictive behavior, avoidance. I am by no means discouraging you from indulging in meditation if you find it to be relaxing and enjoyable. But I ask you to be absolutely honest with yourself. What is your motivation here? Do you use it for escape? We would suggest that true meditation is letting the mind and thoughts go and being fully aware of what is transpiring in the present. There is an absolute purpose for the emotion you are feeling. The mind wants to figure out what the feeling is about. The mind is not capable of doing this. We could say that the mind’s thoughts and beliefs are responsible for triggering the feeling. How can the mind be cause and solution at the same time? It can’t. It can only continue to muddy the water. The mind cannot defeat the mind. You simply learn how to not pay attention to it. Your emotional response is likely the reaction to something the mind is holding as true. Changing thoughts is like electing new leaders. Nothing is solved. Your meditative process is to accept every feeling, all that is around you, without censure or judgment. It is not to shut out the feelings, but to amp up the reception. True meditation is not active or directive, but passive and receptive. As we talked about in previous messages, it is tuning into Divine Will, not personal will. You don’t have to change your mind; you just stop thinking. You don’t have to change your feelings. In fact you can’t, rather you pay attention to what is there. As the mind begins to stop creating poisonous lies, the body will stop reacting. In the meantime, it is good to know. There is an enormous benefit to listening to what your feeling has to say. You don’t blame the smoke alarm for the fire. Disabling it will certainly not leave you safer. Have gratefulness for your alarm system going off. Your feeling is showing that your mind is on a bender. It is not your task to figure all this out. You only listen to the feelings and allow them to lead you, rather than attempting to lead them. Follow them. They are not the problem. It would be closer to the truth to call them the solution, but the deepest truth is that there is no problem. This is a balancing energy to the confusion of the mind. Listen to these sensations and allow them to take you where they will. That ultimate place is deep within you. This is true meditation.

As you are releasing your addiction to the mind, your habit of escaping the feelings by attempting to change, ignore, or get rid of them, your mind is not simply going to wave a white flag and surrender. It might play some of the following games. It could go the route of justification through proclaiming your feelings to be good and right because anybody in your situation would be reacting as you are. If you listen to this, you have let the mind back in and withdrawn focus from the feeling sensations. Another mind game is to try and understand your feelings. Your mind will also try to defend the feelings, a close partnership with justification. You may try to make yourself feel righteous, while whoever has triggered the emotion is in the wrong. Feelings are not good and bad. They just are. Joy and ecstasy are not good feelings. Trying to hold onto “good” feelings while jettisoning “bad” feelings is another example of mind games. You will not be successful in holding those you want anymore than you are able to get rid of those you don’t like. Full awareness of your feelings speaks nothing about action or expression of the feeling sensations. Any need to express your feelings is an idea. Spontaneously something may burst forth, but that is just what is. Notice the expression and let it be a part of your now (though it will quickly recede from that stage). You may be guided to action, but no decision is involved there. You simply know and do, always then returning awareness to the present. These feelings are yours. Others have no need to know of their existence. In a similar manner to how you would not be likely to do your meditation on a busy city street with sounds of traffic and loud voices of pedestrians around you, facing your feelings is best done in a quieter setting and does not involve other people.

Let’s go full circle now and return to the initial question which dealt with the addictions of others, rather than personal addictions. When you stop projecting upon your partner or whoever the other person might be and own the addiction yourself, dealing with it as we have discussed in this message, interesting things will happen. Interesting things are always happening in the now. I want to remind you that your job is not to seek results, but to be with whatever is happening. The goal is not to end your partner’s alcoholism. All that is required is that you be present with what is happening and with whatever feelings are elicited from you. As you are staying present with these emotions, maybe you notice changes in your partner and maybe you don’t. That is not important. What is of significance is what is going on within you. Stay away from your thoughts so you can notice what is present. Whatever that might be, it is not static. The present is constantly moving. Stay with it. As you take full responsibility for yourself, you will gradually become aware that you are not responsible for your partner. As you stop judging yourself, so will you stop judging the other. As everything fully comes home to you and you accept your part in the game, noticing where your addictions lie and taking responsibility for where you do have power, one of two things will likely occur. One may be that you accept your partner as they are, whether they have stopped drinking or not, and are no longer negatively impacted and are guided to stay in the relationship. On the other hand, you may feel guided to leave the relationship, made aware that that mirror is no longer necessary. These are not right and wrong decisions, in fact they are not truly decisions but rather “knowing” that become obvious. Beyond that, no action or guidance is forever; it is for right now. Your job is always with yourself. When you listen to and take care of yourself, you are taking care of the world. When you don’t take care of yourself, you are serving no one. Be with your feelings in the now. Stop fighting what is happening and really listen to and welcome everything, rather than trying to change or improve anything. Let that awareness guide you and your relationship. That’s it!

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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How can pain be a gift? | Sanhia on Finding Freedom in the Midst of Pain

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The following was taken from a recent group session.

Sanhia: If the now includes a feeling of pain … that is perfect.

Participant: It should be nice. but it is not nice. It is painful. If perfection is pain, then maybe it is perfect.

Sanhia: If there is the experience of pain, and the thought appears and is held onto that “I wish I weren’t feeling pain”, there is pain about pain. The wishing away of pain does not make anything better. The thought that it shouldn’t be here doesn’t change anything.

Participant: I feel so embarrassed of being overwhelmed by the pain.

Sanhia: You can not change the event that triggered the pain. You cannot stop the feeling of grief. You can choose not to dwell on thoughts that the event should not have happened or that you should be reacting differently. These thoughts do not change what is. They certainly don’t help you feel better. So, you notice the thought is there and let it go. Continue with the feelings rather than with the thoughts. Whatever is here now is real. The thoughts want to take you somewhere else. Stay here. If pain is present, remain with the bodily sensations. You will be better off not even labelling these feelings. Notice what is felt and hang with it. One thing about the now… it is constantly changing. Stay with the feeling until it changes and then continue with what comes then. If you notice yourself wanting the feelings to move in any direction, let the thought go and allow the feelings the freedom to express or move however they wish to. Your body is an amazing healing machine. It will do whatever needs to be done if you simply let it do its job. What happens if you just stop exercising that muscle that wants things to be different and refuses to accept what is? One thing is certain; if you try to change what is to what you want it to be, you will fail.

Participant: But it feels like I am failing at everything.

Sanhia: That thought comes from the ego mind belief that you are running the show. If you are not running the show, how can you possibly fail? Things simply are as they are. You didn’t create them that way. Why would you have if you had that ability? How self-destructive would you have to be to create what you absolutely don’t want? That is a crazy idea! You cannot change things; you cannot make them better. You wouldn’t even know what would truly be better. What is now is perfect. We know that because that is how it is. Let the energy of the mind be filled with letting it be, with finding gratitude, or with experiencing whatever feelings seem to block gratitude.

Participant: But it feels like I must have chosen this on some level. I can’t tell if it is a gift or a disaster.

Sanhia: Precisely. You are powerless to change the situation but able to be present with it, to see it as it is without your thoughts. This is giving it to God. There is no need to understand why it is happening, to be able to see it as either a gift or a disaster. It simply is and you experience certain bodily sensations along with it. If you fight it, you fight God. You will “lose”, that is you won’t be able to change what is and you will experience pain in trying and failing.

Participant: But I am going to have pain anyway.

Sanhia: Then accept that you have pain. Try not to give it a label, but experience what you are feeling without trying to change it or make it go away. Leave your personal will out of it.

Participant: I can do lots of things to try to not focus on it. I can go to work, watch a film, call a friend.

Sanhia: I am going to speak to a part of your mind that will recall this talk from time to time. There will be a moment when you realize that everything is as it should be, that everything is perfect no matter how it feels, that there is no part of you that would ever want things to be any different. You will have the experience that everything that is here right now, without exception, is here to support you. There is nothing but life. So, in whatever way in this now you are able to stop resisting and look at life in the face as it is, you are opening up to having this as your constant awareness. On the other hand, every time you push the now away, say “take this cup away from me”, or want something else, you are prolonging the period of pain and agony. Pain is transitory. If you simply feel it, it will last a little while, morph, and then disappear. If you don’t face it, avoid it, or try to push it away, the pain will just hang around. You will drag out the suffering for a long time. I am planting these thoughts so that in any now they may float to the surface. You might ask why you are shooting yourself in the foot and will instead embrace whatever is there.

Participant: I like the picture of the water which accompanies my Life Path number in my numerology chart. I feel like I am on the shore watching the water rush past. Why don’t I just jump in? Maybe I can do that. I can feel both the joy and the fear of jumping in.

Sanhia: I have been sharing some “Michael” stories with you of late. One thing that you might notice from them is that the things that encouraged him to let go of ego mind more than anything else were the times that were so hard to accept. He did not grow nearly as quickly when things worked out as he wanted them to. There was always value in those experiences as well, but the benefits tended to be more temporary. The things that were the most painful, those he did not want to have happen, were the ones that proved to be the greatest gifts. Right now, you can express gratitude for the gift without having a clue what the gift is. You can take time to really look at it and feel it instead of pushing it away.

Participant: I understand.

Sanhia; You can decide to stop fighting what is. A nineteenth century Indian chief from a north-western American tribe, known as Chief Joseph, after watching his people repeatedly lied to and massacred by the American government, finally surrendered, stating, “I will fight no more forever”. He stopped fighting and accepted what was. Spirit/God will remove everything that stands in the way of your awakening, if necessary. Nothing real can be lost. For some people a great amount of loss, pain, and suffering is required before they decide to fight no more forever.

Participant: (tears)

Sanhia: You can fight for seemingly forever, but you can stop fighting in an instant.

Participant: I can feel where that fighting spirit is; it is right where the pain is.

Sanhia: Let’s play with this a little. Let’s say that you feel something that you call sadness. If possible, let the label go and just notice the feeling. Now it is another moment, and you notice the feeling is still there and you feel it in your heart chakra. Your mind wants to take over and explain why you are sad. Your situation is horrible, and anybody would be feeling sadness. You have now lost track of what is present and are instead watching/listening to an endless loop of the story. This mind view is all you are allowing yourself to experience in the now. Nobody is forcing you to keep your attention riveted to your story. This is your personal will acting. Rather than experience the freshness that the present always has, you are stuck in this endless loop. It’s a little like holding your breath. This is not so good for the health. Try paying attention to the fresh thought that comes as well as the fresh feeling. Notice but don’t hold on to it. There is a children’s game called hot potato. A roasted potato is tossed to you. If you hold on to it you will burn your hands, so you lob it to another who flips it to another and so on. Your thoughts are like hot potatoes. In the now you would not hold on or you would be burned.

Participant One: People keep reminding me of my story when I meet them. It’s hard for me to speak about what I’m going through.

Sanhia: You don’t have to share with them what is there, but for yourself – notice. They are reminding you to notice your now. If they seem to treat you as a “poor you”, that is your mirror. In any case you can thank them for asking but share only if you feel guided. This is your now. There is nothing you must do. You do as you are guided. If you feel a need to decide, know that your personal will is acting. When Spirit is ready to act, you will know. There will be no decision to make. It is not your job to make others feel that you are doing alright. Your job is ever simpler. It is just to be present with what moves now. Otherwise, you will have nothing to give to others but your pain and your fear.

You won’t always have your pain, but if you are willing to have it, to experience it, and to go where it leads you, it will have served its purpose. The bright light of love is always on the other side. The pain is necessary to burn away the clouds of your illusions, the untruths you hold about yourself and life. Let it do its valuable, irreplaceable job. The gift is always there. You deserve to feel the truth of your Divinity, which can only be found in this now.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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Can you explain more about personal will and God’s Will?

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The following was taken from a recent group session.

Participant: I have a question about the Will of God. Is it our awakened will? Why would such a will need to exist? Does it lead to something good in the end? What is this God?

Sanhia: The real questions are, “Why is what is happening?” Is there purpose or meaning in it? Is there any connection or Oneness in it or is it just random? If you resist or fight whatever is happening, you will experience pain and suffering, and it will still be here. You may decide to stop resisting because you can’t do anything about it. This level of acceptance might be to say that you won’t try to change things, but you’re still pissed about it. Your will is that it be different. The only way to find out if what I am saying has any substance to it is to try it. So, we can replace the expression “the Will of God” with “what is”. Instead of “personal will” we can use, “I don’t want what is” or “how I want to change what is”. Be aware where personal will exists and experiment with not empowering it, not following it. See what happens when you welcome or practice expressing gratitude for what is. What have you got to lose when you have realized you are powerless to change what is. Goal setting and positive thinking just don’t work. It’s not about understanding. That need to know will just lead you down the same rabbit hole. Your only job is to recognize when your personal will is active. Notice that you cannot simply decide to not have a personal will anymore, because it is expressing in your present. That would be a resistance to what is. Notice but don’t follow. It may seem that you can’t decide anything. That can be a healthy realization.

So, for you it seems that your right now is that your husband feels stressed around his work. Your personal will wants to do something about it. Why fight what is? So, you notice and then see what comes into the new now. Is it true that your husband should not be experiencing what is happening? Is it true that you should do something about it? Are you certain you have a better idea about what should be? If you are not sure, why do you choose to fight? What if you could rise high above all that is, see through all illusions of time and space, see that your husband is experiencing exactly the perfect thing to support his awakening?  Here you are resisting what God is bringing. Are you doing this for yourself also? All you need to know is that this is what is.

Participant: Does this mean that I should never take any action? What if God wants me to respond here in a certain way?

Sanhia: If that is what is wanted in the situation you won’t be able to stop yourself from doing it. Choice is not involved. When you spontaneously react, all you can do is notice what happened. When you act from your inner guidance there is no question of whether you did the right thing or not. There is no expectation of any specific result or reaction from your husband. If a similar situation were to occur tomorrow, you might find yourself guided to act in a totally different way. It is never about right or wrong. This gives you enormous freedom to just be in the present, responding to what is.

Participant: It seems that it just becomes witnessing, witnessing, witnessing. Do I have any importance?

Sanhia. Let’s just play around here. We will use words because that is all we have. God created you in Its own image. For fun. God desired to have someone to play with. But if they only do what God wants them to do, then they are not in Its image because God does as It wishes in every moment. How does God create a game where It can play with the creations without controlling them, having the potential for meeting as the equals they are? The only difference between you and God is that God is the creator while you are the created. You did not create yourself, but otherwise were created in God’s image. Your relationship with Jesus, for example, is as an absolute equal, both created by God. So, we are playing this game and when you realize that We are One in Divinity, how could We have different Wills? It isn’t that the human bows down to the Will of God, it is that there is absolutely no difference between them. When you believe there is a difference and that God is up there and you are down here, there is fear. You feel a need to choose independently of God out of fear. Fear generates more fear. But you are not separate. God is just here and trying to play. You are the aspect of God that seems to have a body and senses and can play in the physical illusion.

Participant: Is blame part of the game?

Sanhia: Blame is only apart of the game in terms of fear and resistance to the game. In the now there is no blame; there is just the reacting to the moment, the playing of the game. Everything and its opposite are true at the same time. This drives the mind crazy until it drops out of the competition and plays with what is instead of what isn’t. I have been telling you that you have no free will, but without free will, you could not choose the Will of God over your personal will. Without free will, you cannot surrender your free will. Had you been created without free will, you would just do what God wanted.

Participant: That might be better.

Sanhia: But what fun would that be for God? How can you truly have fun with others if you believe there is a level difference? In that case one of you feels responsible for the other. It’s ball-and-chain time again. Your belief is that you must have your personal will to be free, but that is actually the ball-and-chain. A rebel has no freedom because he is limited to acting in opposition. If you really look at what is, rather than what you think it should be, you will have the realization that no improvement could be made. Just hearing that is meaningless. It is something you must investigate for yourself. When you ask the question, “What is God?” You are God, but not the part of God that created you. It is all One. Personal will is based on the untruth that you are separate from God. There is no trust in the separation. It believes that if you don’t take care of you, nobody will. The insane thought is that you can do things better than God can. Part of that confusion comes from your belief that what you see in the world is God’s creation rather than your projection.

Participant: Is our personal will really our will or is it our rebellion?

Sanhia: You have freedom only if you take it. Most people do not exercise that freedom. They listen to the dictates of their minds, which were trained by the mass consciousness, and then carry out the will of other humans rather than listening within to their own Divine Will and following that. In this way they keep themselves in bondage going to jobs they don’t love, sacrificing the now for illusory futures, remaining in unsatisfying relationships, watching their dreams and their bodies slowly deteriorate.  Out of a world of infinite choice where they can follow their passions and truly live for the moment, they keep themselves chained to unsatisfactory pasts and unknown futures. Personal will becomes an exercise in how they can best keep themselves safe. But they can’t. There is no certainty other than death and taxes. You are created in the image of God. You can play creatively in the universe with God. You can be “buds”, hang out.

Participant: But you are saying that I cannot change what God has done, that I only have the power to accept what is.

Sanhia: That thinking comes from the belief of being separate from God. When you surrender to God’s Will you are surrendering to your own true will. Your personal will is a lie. It’s not the truth. It is not what you truly want.

Participant: One could say that this personal will is connected to my separation story, that I am guilty, and God is out to get me.

Sanhia: If you were God and were creating a world it would be one where people never had to worry about food or shelter or any of those types of things. Each time you set goals to handle such matters you are expressing the belief that they are not already being taken care of. You are refusing to accept God’s gifts and feeling you must take that role upon yourself. Rather than trusting and living in the now, you are trying to control and live in a future that doesn’t exist. You are using your Divine power to be powerless. Therefore, I am saying that your personal will never serves your true interests.

Participant: So, I have been using my personal will to try to create something that is already here right now.

Sanhia: Yes, and most likely in a superior form from what your personal will had in mind.

Participant: Thank you! That is enough!

Sanhia: If the mind goes “How?”, the response is to open your eyes and look around. It’s here right now. It has always been here right now. You are always provided for. There have been no times when you starved to death, when you could not breathe, when you had no awareness, when you weren’t in the now – even if your thoughts were elsewhere. Do you remember the times that were the most glorious, the times when you truly felt alive? All times are like that when you let go of the mind thoughts about how things should be and face what is. How it is is exactly what you want it to be. Nothing has to change. Now you can play with God. Accepting what is does not mean rolling over and playing dead. It does not mean inactivity. It means that you listen to the Divine Guidance within you and react to what is. You are fully engaged in this dance with God. This awareness and co-creation will not burst into being and stay forever. It will come in bits and pieces. Two steps forward, one step back. This is perfect. No faster than you can assimilate. There may be old fears and beliefs still to become aware of and let go of, more personal will to become aware of and released. The Will of God is always there, always carrying you, always deeply desired.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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