Why is it hard to let go of victimhood?

In the last message, we talked about recognizing your “old story” and choosing to let it go. But, you really have to want to let it go, and you don’t always want to do that. Sometimes, things have to get so bad that there isn’t anything else to do but to let the “old story” go. I am a believer in the idea that the least pain brings the greatest gain. You don’t have to really suffer to grow spiritually. If you are proactive and get out in front of things, you can choose to have your spiritual progress be as painless as possible. However, the part of you that we call the ego – the division that doesn’t believe in your divinity, thinks you are separate from God, and believes you are going to be punished for this separation – wants you to hold on to the victimization. It seems safer. Remember that the ego isn’t sane; it is absolutely crazy. It believes in insanity. And it draws immense pain and suffering to you.

I want to talk about how this operates for you. The ego says to fear punishment by God for being guilty. There is a hesitation to ever admit guilt. The ego tells you that to admit guilt is to invite the inevitable punishment. What you do then, is to project. Why is your life not working? Why are you upset today? Why are there problems? Because he did this. Because she did that. Because of the government. Because of my boss. Because of my parents. There is always a place to put blame. Unfortunately, blaming never helps. The ego claims it is buying time, that it is protecting you. But blaming never brings joy; it never brings peace or a sense of love. It creates feelings of helplessness. Blame leaves you always victim to the whims and the actions of others. Always. That is an illusion, because victimhood is a lie. It is not the truth. You are the creator. You are the divinity. Whatever exists comes from you, even if you are not aware of your part in the manifestation. As long as you pretend to not be responsible for your creations, they will continue to attack you. You will continue to fight them and to suffer.

I think that most of you can recognize yourself here. But some of you also play the game of ”Woe is me”. You tell yourself that you are so horrible and weak, and you go about accusing yourself instead of blaming others. However, if you look deeply, you will probably find many judgments of others mixed in with the self-blame. The ego thinks that by taking blame it might be able to avoid the wrath of God. But blaming yourself is the same thing as blaming others. It is an illusion; it is a lie. And, it never makes you feel better. It never heals. Remember that in the eyes of God there is no blame, no judgment, and no separation. God sees only your divine nature. For you to experience your divine nature, give up all blame and guilt, take full responsibility for everything in your life, and forgive yourself for every judgment you are holding about yourself and others. When you find the going to be tough, that is the place for the five-step process.

I began by saying that you are to be fully willing to give up your “old story”. There is a very good reason, according to the ego, for holding on to this blame/victim pattern. It manifests in a variety of ways, but they all have something in common. To the ego, it feels like there is a lot to lose by giving up victimhood. There is a comforting security blanket in being the helpless victim. This is something you can share with everyone around you. It is said that misery loves company. You go to your friends and you tell your pitiable story. ”Look what (fill in the name) did to me”. ”Guess what happened to me at (fill in the place)?”. ”You won’t believe what this jerk driver did”. It goes on and on, and your friend hugs you and says, ”Oh, poor you. I know how that feels”. You have this great connection and it feels good in the moment. It is a way to immediately sense love coming from others. They support you. This may be the only way that you know how to feel this love. The glow doesn’t last, however. The pain of being a victim remains. If you do decide to let go of your victimhood, there is a fear that others will abandon you. If you stop joining in the game of enabling victimhood, of supporting it in others and allowing others to support it in you, what is left in your relationships? Maybe others will grow angry and judgmental toward you? How will they react if you stop sharing your blame stories? What if you suggest to them that they give up their victimhood and claim their full power? ”Who the hell do you think you are?” they might say. There is a tremendous fear of taking your power. The ego judges power. It is terrified of it.

There is a similarity here with the experiences of those who choose to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. In that case, you want to give up an addiction to substances, as opposed to an addiction to blame. You may find that you will give up many of your friends and relationships, because they only share and support your addiction. You may choose to replace these people with others who are opting to take their own power. A great change may be required. Parents with younger children might have the fear that if they gave up their attachments, they might not be there for their kids. You might lose your marriage, your parents, or your job, along with your friends. You will become a social pariah. The ego does a wonderful job of spreading this kind of terror.

Ultimately it will come down to one question for you. Are you tired of this shit or not? Do you want to hold onto your victimhood and your unhappiness because you have the solace of fellow sufferers? Is that worth it? If the answer is ”yes”, you will continue with your “old story” until the answer becomes ”no”. If you want, now, to experience your divinity, feel your power, know only love, peace, and joy – you say “no” to the ego. You choose to let go of all judgment and blame, and refuse to have pain, suffering, and failure be part of your life anymore. Now, you are ready to let go of the “old stories”. You are willing to transform the fears you have been holding in your body into love. This will take some time, but the rewards will begin to be felt immediately. You don’t have to wait until life breaks you. You can be proactive. Choose to listen to the voice of love. You can experience the minimal amount of pain by choosing now. The more completely you commit yourself, the less pain you will feel. When you make this choice for yourself, ask for support from Spirit. It is there always. It always has been there. It has only been waiting for you to ask.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia