If we have no power to create, how can we project? | Sanhia on Why Opposites Can Both Be True

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(click for audio on YouTube)

(Taken from an individual session)

Good Now!

Participant:  I heard you say that we are not creating anything. We are just here for this ride that life or the Divine is creating. Then you have also said that everything we see or experience is our projection. I wonder how both of those statements can be true at the same time. It seems like they contradict each other. 

To begin with, don’t take anything that you think you heard me say as the truth (laughter). We speak in pointers – as the truth cannot be expressed in words. What we have here are two different pointers, both pointing in the same direction. When we talk about not being responsible for anything going on in the world, we mean that you don’t have that kind of control. The part of you that wants to control the world is the ego mind. It has the mistaken belief that it can do that, that it can set goals, that it trains itself to be certain ways, and that it can somehow make the world be in a certain way and obtain the results it wishes to have. That is simply not true; it’s not what happens.

When you set goals you do not experience the awakening or the enlightenment you desire. What you are saying is that it is not here now; it’s somewhere else. If I do this – if I reach my goal, if I control the world, if I change something in myself – then I can wake up. This leaves you in a perpetual state of wanting and trying to be somewhere else. Your awakeness is right here, right now, if you simply pay attention to it and stop trying to be something or someone else. Notice, be with, and embrace what is there. Don’t be with the past or the future but with what is actually here now. 

Participant: The problem might be that I have a past and a future, I think. It’s today and then it’s tomorrow.

When is it tomorrow? 

Participant: Tomorrow!! (laughs)

But then it’s today. There is no tomorrow. That’s an idea in the mind. There is no yesterday. That’s also an idea in the mind. 

Participant: Do you say that the mind has the idea that I can decide what happens, but that is not right.

Yes, the mind may think it can determine what tomorrow will be, but tomorrow will be what tomorrow will be. If the mind did have that power, why aren’t you living in paradise? 

Participant: Yeah, that’s a good question. I want to.

Why would you choose anything else? 

Participant: So, all of this confusion about yesterday and tomorrow is an invention of my ego mind.

Yes. It’s avoiding this moment where Divinity lives, where your awakeness is, where life is. 

Participant: But it still seems like those two statements are not aligned with each other. 

Let’s return again to the first of the statements. Is there some part of it that you are not in alignment with? 

Participant: When I was reading A Course in Miracles it said that we create the world. My projection is also creating something. So, then there is a creation.

I see where the confusion lies. Ego has no power to create anything. Divinity, by its nature, creates everything. The physical illusion is this place where these meet. The ego mind tries to understand this but cannot because it makes no sense to the logical ego mind. It seems as if opposites exist simultaneously. In duality it is all opposites. In Divinity there is Oneness; there is no opposite. So, what you think of as opposites coexist and neither deny nor erase each other. Jokingly, we alternately say, “You are nothing” – particularly in talking to the ego mind – and at the same time, “You are everything” – now talking to the Divine mind. So, you are everything and nothing at the same time. Ego mind thinks you have an existence outside of Divinity. It would be your body, your thoughts, your feelings, your unique personality – and that’s who you are – but that existence is nothing. Sooner or later this physical body will die and it will be as if you never existed. It’s nothing. The truth of you that is observing all of this life always is. It is outside of time and space and physicality. It is everything.

Ego mind is terrified of looking at itself so it projects itself and sees itself through others. It can perceive with judgment or with admiration. Projection occurs because the truth of you is everything, has created everything. There is only you; there is only one. However, ego mind believes it is separate and limited. It believes that the other is separate and that both are real. Ego mind defensively protects itself from imagined shortcomings through projection. Its projection might be that the other is dishonest. Unconsciously you are projecting onto the other the part of you that you believe is less than honest. On the other hand, you might project the label of courageous upon another. This is where you are not willing to see the courage in you. We would go so far as to say that absolutely everything you notice is your projection, not just the words or actions of another, but the seeming existence of people, trees, birds, the sun, the universe. All is your projection, your creation, not from your ego mind but from the Divinity of Oneness that you are. Ego mind thinks all of those things are real and separate. The real timeless you is One with and the creator of all of it. This is beyond comprehension and acceptance for the ego mind with its belief of being separate and limited.

So, you have this wonderful, amazing thing called life, which is where the limited meets the unlimited. In order to have the illusion of physicality, there needs to be limits. There needs to be the appearance of difference and separations. 

Participant: Duality.

Yes. Multiplicity. If it is all one, how can a bird be experienced? So, the illusion of all of these different things is experienced. In reality these are just different projections out of the Oneness. In the illusion there are these unreal projections, but there you are playing with them. We call that life. We would say that the one we might call awakened or enlightened is fully aware of all of this – not in a form of understanding where they could sit you down and explain it all to you, they simply know it to be true. They don’t judge what they see, nor would they have any thought of trying to change what is. That would be crazy. Everything is what it is and all they do is interact with what is presented. There is no right or wrong response. They follow their guidance or passion in that moment. 

Participant: It’s not possible to understand this, but I can let what you say dance in me and then slowly the eyes get used to the bright light so it’s no longer black and white, maybe. 

We can frame it in this way, and we borrow this expression from our friend Jesus who said, “You cannot serve two masters at the same time.” Do you serve ego mind, or do you serve the Oneness? This requires no understanding, simply awareness. If your desire and your intention is always to serve the Oneness, you will notice when you are in projection and remember that this is all about you and take it home. You will notice when your mind thinks that something needs to be different and let that thought go. You will focus on seeing without resistance what is here now, rather than on what you think should be here. When your consciousness is absolutely with what is here now, that is the awakened state – no past, no future, no program, no rules. It is not for you to understand what is said here; there is simply choosing a master and acting on it.

Participant: Say more about acting on it. 

When you set a goal and try to reach it, you are acting on ego mind. That’s what you are reinforcing, so you get stuck in that endless cycle of trying and you are never satisfied. Instead, you might notice, “Ahhh! There I go setting a goal again,” and take no action toward its fulfilment, instead returning to see what is here now. You do that over and over again until it begins to become automatic.

Participant: I can hear what you say and I have what I call a dance where I let it be and move as it does in me. But many times, I have a strong emotional response to the now. Maybe the response is connected to stories I hold on to or have been unable to let go of. What do I do in those situations where I get stuck in my emotions?

Be aware of that and notice. It is not for you to understand what might be triggering the emotional response. If a story comes to mind, don’t follow it. That would be making ego mind your master. Come back to now. 

Participant: But the emotions are so strong. If I try to push them down…

But, that’s not the thing to do. Then you are saying that you don’t accept what is here and you want to change it. The emotion is here, so let it be. Neither push it down nor try to change it, but also don’t defend it. It is neither right nor wrong that you have the feeling. The feeling seems to be present. Let it be present and watch it as you watch everything that is a part of the now. You don’t choose your feelings. You also don’t choose your thoughts. They just come. So, you choose neither your thoughts nor your feelings, but you do choose your action. You can choose to let the emotion express itself until it doesn’t. You can choose not to follow your thoughts. You don’t choose an action to get somewhere; you choose the action of inaction. Action, when it comes, just comes. There is no choosing. A thought appears and the choice is not to act on it. It is not a question of what you need to do, but a matter of what you need to stop doing. The thoughts that come to you are not true. Stop listening to and following them. Stop serving that master. But also, do not judge the thoughts or try to push them away, the same as you would do with the feelings. The thought is there. Let it be present and have no concern if it returns. Simply don’t be guided by it. 

Remember that what is real does not change. Thoughts and feelings are in constant motion. What doesn’t change is the awareness that notices the thoughts and feelings. This is the you to keep coming back to. Who is noticing what happens in the present? 

Participant: That is a little bit scary. Very scary.

That’s why most people continue to listen to and follow the ego mind. It feels easier and safer. The suffering is familiar and shared with most everyone else. 

Participant: Yeah. And stop listening to the inner divine voice, too. You have given me some keys like investigating who I am serving, allowing thoughts and feelings to be present without judging or resisting, and taking a step backward to see who is noticing what is happening.

I would love to be able to give you a list similar to what you have just related and to tell you that all you have to do is to do those things and awakening will happen, but that’s not how it works. All of that will still be coming from your ego mind –the desire to not feel this pain, to not be holding these thoughts, the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, and so on. But that’s the hand that you hold right now. Even though these ideas of what to do all come from the ego mind, that is all you can do for now. However, if your day-to-day focus is on being free from your thoughts and your projections, then you are focusing your energy in a laser-like way on the truth of you.

The relationship between the Divine you and your illusion of physicality is absolutely unique. There is nobody else like you. How can there be a one-size fits all path to realization when each path is different? Others can point but they can’t tell you what to do. If the pointing is of true value to you, you will be encouraged to look within where your true guidance, your true master dwells. 

Participant: When it all quiets down there is an inner voice that I call divine presence, so it seems that I have the choice to turn inside and find that voice or to turn outward and be in a fight. There is something with having to be aware of the inner divine voice. When I am there, I can take in what you are saying a little bit easier. At least I can quiet down.

Quietness is a key. That is the place where you can hear. Take time for quietness each day. This inner divine voice has no relationship to past or future. It relates to now. It doesn’t guide you to results oriented actions. It leads through the passion of the moment, through a knowingness beyond understanding. It might encourage you to take an action because you are terrified to take that action. (laughter) Your guidance will not identify any action as a step to awakening; it will simply suggest you do this now. The importance is for you to hear, trust, and act on this inner guidance. It is never a question of right or wrong, but one of what is here now. This is serving Divine Guidance rather than ego mind. Ego mind will likely express opposition to this voice. It is terrified of taking such steps. Fortunately, it doesn’t matter. There are no disasters. You simply are. No matter what is done in the illusion, you can’t undo or destroy yourself. You are. There are no consequences to your actions. There is the presence of suffering when following ego mind, but it’s not real and it’s not forever. Eventually you will choose the Divine Master. This is not to say that nothing is gained by following the ego mind. These choices and their results become part of your programming. Eventually the response will become one of not wishing to go down that road again. You can’t force that point to come, but choosing your inner voice whenever possible can only speed up the transition. 

Participant: It feels like there needs to be some braveness to step out of following the voice of the mass consciousness. I need to be brave enough to listen to my inner divine voice.Perhaps – or maybe you become so exhausted that you just don’t have the energy to do it any more. Following the Divine Voice becomes the easier choice. It may feel more like survival than courage. Maybe in the end it is the weariness from repeated failures rather than courage or ability to hear your inner voice that is the largest determinant of the choice to follow the inner Master. Much of my job is to help wear down your mind. 

Participant: So now what?
                                
Good Now

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What can I do about my anger? | Sanhia on Why You Can’t Fix Your Anger (And Don’t Need To)   

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                                     (click for audio on YouTube)

             (Taken live from a recent Spiritual Awareness Zoom group)

Good Now!

If you find yourself living in the present moment without a story, just with life as it is now – which is how it has always been, except that you’re looking at your story – if you let go of the story and you’re just with now, there couldn’t possibly be a story of “Why did I wait so long?” There is no time; there is just now. “Why is it like this?” Because that’s how it is. There is no why about it. “Why didn’t I wake up to this sooner?” You simply didn’t. That’s how it was. It is as it is. You would never step back and say, “Give me that old life.” Once that opening happens there is no turning back; there is just more opening and more opening. What could give more excitement to life than knowing there is always going to be more opening? Five years ago, you could not have visualized how you feel now, and you cannot visualize how you will feel five years from now. But perhaps that’s okay and you realize of course you can’t know because there is just now, and there isn’t anything particular to do because life is doing the doing. You’re just along for the ride. That part of the mind that thinks it’s in control and has to do things is absolutely crazy. It has no control. That’s probably a good idea because if it did have control, it would have no idea what to do with it. If you had known twenty years ago what you know now, then, obviously, life would have been different over that time. Twenty years ago, you didn’t know what was possible so you couldn’t even choose it. That’s where all of you are right now. No idea of what is possible. So instead of letting life, this enormous organic whole, do what it’s going to do no matter what you do, you choose to go into your story and let it guide and direct you, creating an enormous job of figuring out what to do that is not only unnecessary and unneeded, but is also doomed to fail. So, then you end up exhausted and hopeless and helpless. And meanwhile, all around you is heaven. 

Participant 1: But it seems, you know, when it’s good it’s good but when you have those experiences which you don’t like and you don’t prefer – it makes… AAAARG…you get angry, frustrated. It’s so difficult in those moments to say, “Oh yeah. Thank you life. Everything’s perfect. I love it”. 

The mind has a picture of what perfection should look like. And if it doesn’t look like that, there is resistance and judgment and the thought that this is not right, this is not how it should be. But it is how it is. There is nothing you can do to change that. So, you are fighting a fight that you can’t win because it already is what it is. In your non-acceptance and in your fighting it, you separate from God. You separate from the oneness, from the wholeness. Take a deep breath and ask what it is. If it’s not what you think it should be, what is it? What is here now? One of the benefits of getting older is you have had more experiences of how your resistance and your trying to choose and set goals has not worked for you. When you are younger you may be more likely to be optimistic and say, “Oh, I can do anything”. 

Participant 1: So, I guess the answer is: “There is a situation that I don’t like. I see it. I notice that there is something that my mind says should be different. I should act differently. So, what do I do? I breathe in; I breathe out. I say, ‘Okay to what I see here”. And then it might take me to that, ‘Oh, I see the situation’…and then I feel angry…or hopeless”.

First of all, the situation you are resisting is no longer happening now. It has happened. So, what’s going on is that you are in a story, but you are acting with all of the programming from throughout your life to this kind of story. It no longer has anything to do with what is here right now. Maybe it’s a beautiful sunny day but all you see are clouds. You’re not present, even if it’s a recent story. So, what’s here right now? Someone seems to be upsetting you; are they in the room right now? What is here now? Is there a person here or people? Why is your attention not with what is here now, with the people who are present, instead of in your mind with a story of people who aren’t even existing in your now? Notice what is here. React to it. 

Participant 1: Let’s talk about the repeating situation, not like a once in a lifetime situation. What if the situation is not here, but I have this feeling about it, so I have to bring myself back?

Then you have a feeling, and that’s here. But your mind wants to say that you are having this feeling because of this, this, and this. Not true. You are just having a feeling. The mind is saying that you don’t want to have this feeling, that it’s uncomfortable and you just want to get rid of it. How can you change it so that you feel better? This is not accepting the now. This is wanting to resist and to change it. Let that feeling be there. Nothing to heal here. If it is raining outside, do you need to heal the rain? The sun will return sooner or later, but not because you’ve healed the rain. There is nothing to heal here. There is a feeling. Let it be there. Feel it. Let go of control. Don’t try to heal it. Don’t try to justify it or find the cause.

Participant 1: Then it means that when the feeling changes, another feeling rises up, and another story in my mind, and another feeling, so it’s like perpetual modulation. So, what is here now, then? 

Let the feelings be there and try not to pay much attention to the stories. 

Participant 1: How come they are never true? 

Because the mind is a politician. (laughter) It is, by definition, incapable of telling the truth. It always has an ulterior motive. Basically, the mind’s motives are to do this to feel safe, to be loved, and to release guilt, but it tries to find other reasons because it doesn’t want you to look directly at those motives. So, it tends to project. You have this problem because…well men, you know how they are, or you have this problem because of your boss…well you know how they are, or you have this problem because of your parent…well you all had parents. The mind never really wants to look at what’s there. If it was willing to look at this all being about you feeling unloved, you could begin to look at the truth of that. 

Participant 2: What about emotions? Where do they belong? Is that part of ego mind going crazy? How can we find out what’s what here?

I don’t want you to take this as a literal truth, but the emotions are primarily a natural healing, balancing energy. The mind makes insane choices, self-destructive choices. There is an emotional reaction to that. It’s a balancing energy, like a storm balances the energy in the air and the earth. Likely, as the mind becomes less active, there will be less emotional reaction also. But while it’s there, let it rip. It’s not to understand; it’s just to be. One of the things that you expressed concern about is that if there aren’t goals and such, then all this excitement that comes about reaching the goal would be missing. That kind of a high is a bipolar energy.  Everybody is bipolar. When there is a high up, then there is a high down – or a low down. Stop trying to be somewhere else. Stop having goals. 

Participant 1: And it’s also stop trying to be different than you are.

Participant 2: What am I?

That’s again one of the ego games, one of the lies. “I’m trying to decide who I am”. Then you choose a picture of somebody who you think is more developed or advanced than you are. That has nothing to do with being yourself, because there is no other you. 

Participant 2: But are you saying that the way to come to that point is to see the recordings we have and let go of them?

Let me give you an example. How many of you have a thought that if you were a really, really developed spiritual, good, loving person – you would never get angry? Anger is wrong.

Participant 1: Okay, maybe not never but not that harsh…a little bit more balanced.

Not how you are, but how your mind is telling you, through whatever programming it has had, how you should be. You should never be worried. Never be depressed. How many “should” or “shouldn’ts” are in there in this picture of how the evolved, advanced you would be? Then you try to train yourself out of these traits.

Participant 1: Yes, I feel exactly this way, what you are saying.

There was.an American man who became a spiritual leader. He had a guru in India, and he said to this teacher, “One thing I admire about you is that you are so patient and calm. Nothing seems to upset you.” His teacher responded, “Yes but I was that way long before. That’s just my nature. My teacher would express enormous anger. He would say that he wasn’t angry but that sometimes anger was present. So, it is present. There is an expression. It is gone. That’s it.” If you have the thought, “I don’t want to be an angry person”, then there is a story and you remember that and you feel guilty and judge yourself.

Participant 1: I’m that kind of person who gets angry a lot and I don’t like it. I really don’t. It seems to my last breath I’m going to try to change myself here. I cannot accept that it is normal, that it is okay to be this way. I don’t think I can just say, “Yeah, I am how I am”. 

Relax with it. Give up the ownership of it – “I am an angry person.” Let go of the definition of yourself as an angry person. Sometimes anger is present. Is it always present?

Participant 1: Not always present, but it is sometimes, quite often, and it’s not just anger, anger. Its fucking anger.

Simply notice, “Ho. Anger is present.” If you don’t notice it being there until the anger is no longer present, you can then say, “Anger was present”. Did you choose it?

Participant 1: No

You have no control over it whatsoever. That’s what makes you so angry. (laughter) 

Participant 1: Yes, at times I would like to choose.

Obviously it is not your fault because if it was, you wouldn’t choose it. So, what you are doing is rubbing your own face in it, instead of just expressing your anger whenever it is there. You are judging yourself for being a horrible person for having it. So, you have two things going on: the anger and the judgment about the anger. Notice what happens when you see the judgment going on and say no, that you don’t want to do that. And maybe for a while not only is anger present, but also judgment is present. 

Participant 1: Yeah, those two come together, always.

And guilt is present, too. Simply noticing what is. You didn’t choose it. So, what’s here now? Let’s look at what is here now.

Participant 1: That judgment, the guilt, and then probably we can see something nice. 

When you are not judging yourself and you are not feeling guilty, then you can see what is nice. The story, whether it is “I am angry”, “I’m judging”, or “I’m guilty” – dig deep in there and what’s underneath is probably the same old things; “I’m not lovable” and “I’m not safe”. When you know that you are lovable and safe, what is left to be judged? You have a unique personality which will not change once you let go of your story. You still will have your you. Maybe someone is taking an action in the world that is hurtful to someone else. Maybe the anger just expresses to that. Maybe that person needed to hear that anger, to notice what they were choosing and how they were acting. But the anger just expresses. You don’t have to know why. You don’t have to have a justification. Some people might respond by walking over and hugging the other; some would respond by yelling. There is no rightness or wrongness about either action. But when you think you should or shouldn’t be in a certain way, that’s when you are not you. You are a picture of who you think you should be. And you will never be that person. You will always fail to be someone else, but you can absolutely succeed at being you. 

Participant 2: So, what is oneness?

Oneness is everyone being their unique self, together.  It all fits. Perfectly. 

Participant 1: But then I have this thought of why should I have to be the angry person in the room? That’s not fair. 

Because you have the judgment about your anger.

Participant 1: And it’s a good one.

You probably, as you are observing anger in others, have noticed that if they are expressing anger in a way that you deem as inappropriate, maybe undeserved, maybe bullying – you feel anger about their anger. But if you see somebody expressing anger and you think to yourself that the receiver of the anger deserved it, then you are like this about the anger: “YEAH!!” Is that true?

Participant 1: I guess so. It’s not that I’m against anger period. 

Unless it is yours.

Participant 1: Yes. (laughs) I don’t like anger in myself. 

It pisses you off…

Participant 1: Oh yeah. I cannot choose either. Sometimes I feel hopeless and sometimes I feel furious even more. I would like to go deeper into that question about finding ourselves. When I’m in a deep meditation, I have realizations, so I would like to ask if those realizations are from ego mind or do they come from our true self? What is it?

Notice how it feels to you. Does it stir you up or does it calm you down? This thing of learning to hear your inner guidance, my best advice is to follow what comes rather than trying to judge or analyze. Let go of thoughts of is this the truth for now and forever. It’s your guidance in this moment. Act on it and let it go. See what is there now. 

Participant 2: What do you mean by letting go?

Letting go of the belief that this is just the truth, because looking for the truth is just like looking for meaning. You’ll never know if you have it or not, but if you ever have it, you’ll never be able to explain it. So, you can say this is an approximation that’s your guidance for right now. A week later is it still the guidance? Hmmm, listen…feel it out. You acted on that guidance and you experienced what was in the world as you acted in that way. Your mind thinks that there is a story going on here and you are progressing, you are growing. But what’s really happening is simply that you are being reprogrammed every day by everything that happens. In some ways you hardly recognize yourself from the self you felt to be ten years ago. Maybe some of the root parts of your story aren’t still there as much as they once were. So, you get guidance in the now to do something, you do it, and then you let that story go and be in the present and see what’s there now. If you hold the guidance as being how things should be from now on, it’s no different than defining yourself as an angry person. 

Participant 2: Do you say that there is not a truth to look for? Most of us on a spiritual path are looking for the truth, so you say there is no truth? 

There is a corollary feeling with this guidance. If you feel a passion, follow it. Trust that passion.

Participant 1: Yes, I feel that passion.

Ultimately it might be said that being awakened might be about living in passion in every moment, and not forcing yourself to do something because you think you should. 

Participant 1: I just do it. The action comes with feeling. 

Then it is not about result; it’s about the doing. If it is about result, there will always be some selling out of the truth of it to get to the result. The results do not matter. A hundred years from now you will be dead, nobody will remember that you were around, and nothing you did will mean anything to anyone. The only thing that really makes a difference to anyone is this moment. This moment has nothing to do with where it might lead to. It has to do with this moment. That is all that this channeling amounts to. There is no place to get to. There is just the expressing of what wants to be expressed in this moment, and no idea what will come next. There is no concern about how it will be received, whether it is accepted, rejected, judged, or kicked around the room. That’s none of your business. You are free to do anything you want with everything that comes into this moment. That means you never have to respond in any certain way. Never.


Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit                      

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 How do I deal with the losses in my life? | Sanhia on Losing Everything and Finding the Now

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(Taken live from a recent Spiritual Awareness Zoom group.)

Good Now!

Participant One: (Laughing) Oh boy! It’s been kind of an interesting time. I’ve had a lot of endings this past five years. Every single time I think I’m going to get a break from another ending, I get another ending. I’ve been in a tsunami of endings. The big thing is I’m sitting here wondering what it’s going to be like just to be fully alone. I’ve gone through the alone thing with Sanhia before, but this alone is sort of different. I love being alone (laughing) with myself. I’ve found myself really struggling being alone without an anchor in the natural world, and without an anchor with my furry kids in my life. I’m down to one, having had enormous years, ten or twelve years, of doggy love and cat love. Just moving around and giving up everything that possibly meant anything to me over the past five years; just letting it go and moving forward. But I’m in a place where everything is standing still now. I don’t even know how to be in that space any more. That’s kind of my right now, very, very raw. I’m down to one cat that I’ve loved. I don’t know how well he is either; I’ve got a vet appointment in two months. I needed a break; I just lost one of my kids – one of my furry kids. I’ve gone through a lot this year – lost four furry babies, one dog and three cats. I can be alone with me. I’m just not sure how to be alone without that furry love. That’s my new thing, (laughing) sitting in the unknown without love for my kids. (laughing/crying) Anyway, that’s me.

Participant Two: I can bring you some cats.

Participant One: I know. I just felt that so much. I thank you. It’s just that having that love for so long, it’s like when you’ve had a furry kid in your life, whether it’s a dog or a cat, for so long, there’s something about that when you lose them you lose a part of you because they’ve literally been there with you for a decade plus. So, thank you for the new; I’m just trying to figure out how to be without the old. It’s a big loss, (laughing/crying) a loss, yeah. 

Sanhia: Perhaps you will enjoy or not enjoy the message that is going to come out February first. 

Participant One: I love all of your messages.

Sanhia: It speaks to the story because what has died is not your animal, but your story. 

Participant One: Yeah (crying) I know.

Sanhia: The story is always painful. Freedom is being without the story, just being in this present moment. This is the gift that your furry friends have left you. 

Participant One: Lonely

Sanhia: It’s lonely if you are comparing it to something else, which is called the story. If you are simply with what is here right now, loneliness is not possible. Loneliness is a comparison in the mind to something else. What is in the present is always absolutely fantastic. All that it requires is that you be with it instead of in the mind and the story somewhere else, wishing you had your story instead of what is. That’s always painful because you can’t; you can’t have that. 

Participant One: Over the past five years I’ve released the stories, at least I thought I did, of all the things I’ve loved. To be with the kids, my furry kids … and as I lost them one by one, sometimes two at a time, it’s been hard to stay out of the past. It’s just been such a lot of memories and ghosts all around me all of the time. It’s really been a hard struggle to stay happy in the present with that emptiness, which I know is not empty but it feels it. It’s a new me. I haven’t been without a kid, a furry kid, since I was a teenager. I know it is supposed to be this way and I get it, but I miss their love so much. It’s just the only thing that kept me grounded during this time that I’ve gone through losing so many things I loved so much. So anyway … 

Sanhia: Now you have graduated and you no longer need that. There is an enormous difference between allowing those feelings to be there – of grief and sadness – but letting go of the descriptions and just feeling the emotions that are there and letting them be there as long as they are there, and connecting those feelings with your mind thoughts.

Participant One: Lots of tears

Sanhia: You’re not trying to chase them away, not trying to change them, not trying to fill your life with something so you don’t feel that, but simply letting it be there and feeling it fully. 

Participant One: I managed the loss of my partner of thirty years. I didn’t lose him; we separated, divorced. But I lost the land that I loved so much where I felt home for the first time. And all the furry kids came from there. They were a part of the past that made that story that made me feel connected to something I love so deeply. I don’t have people in my life. I’m alone. I’m okay with that; it doesn’t bug me. I just don’t know how to be alone without that connection to the love that an animal gives, whether it’s out in nature and I’m observing or whether … whatever. So, it’s just letting go of that story and being with it. I have one furry kid left. I love him so much. There’s nothing that matters more than him right now. I don’t matter. Nothing matters and I don’t know where to be with that. It feels as though I’m ending my life. Truly it does. (crying) It feels like my life has just stopped and it’s done, and I know that’s not the case but it just feels that way. And it’s like you suggested, just being with it, what it is, feeling it. I appreciate that because I get up and I work and I come back and I feel completely zombied.

Sanhia. And you know what’s going to happen with your last surviving cat.

Participant One: Yeah. I’m going to sit alone at my house. I don’t know what that’s going to be like. It’s going to be really awful (crying).

Sanhia: Notice that your mind has a horrible picture for what is to come. Is that a future you desire? Of course not, so let these thoughts go and come back to now. You also mentioned losing a part of yourself. Where is this part? Who is seeing it being lost? Can you lose the part of yourself that is aware of what is happening now? Notice that when you are telling your story you are creating something you don’t desire, and, more importantly, you are avoiding fully feeling what is present.  Be brave enough to stay with the feelings while letting go of the story. What motivated you several years ago to come and meet here and to talk with us?

Participant One: My move. Leaving everything.

Sanhia: What were you hoping would happen from that?

Participant One: That I would find peace in the mayhem. 

Sanhia: How did that work out for you?

Participant One: It has worked out really well. If there is one place where I feel this crazy life all makes sense … it’s here.

Sanhia: There is only one thing that we talk about here, even though we may go off on different benders here and there about this and that. We talk about being aware of the truth of who you are, being aware of your divinity, being aware that you are an awakened individual not paying attention to your awakeness – but looking in other directions and at other things – and encouraging you to be aware of what is. There is nothing that is more powerful in the healing process than healing that separation between the truth of who you are and your story – than losing, than letting go. Whether you choose to let go or you create it so that it looks like the universe made you let go, it’s all the same. When it is time to let go it is the letting go that happens, and no amount of trying to hold on will give you anything but blisters on your fingers and your palms. There is no holding on. What’s gone is gone. When you think you have something, you don’t have it; you have your story about it. So, you have your twelve years of having this animal with you, but where is that?  Is it here now? Or is it the story in your mind that keeps you away from being here now? Well, it’s very hard to let go of the story when you still have the main character from the story in your life. 

Participant One: The ghosts (laughing) I call them.

Sanhia: You had that cat as a kitten. Do you still have the kitten?  Are you grieving for that kitten bouncing around, playing with things, and rolling around on the floor? No, you still have the cat so you hold on to that, but the truth is every part of your story dies in every moment. To whatever degree you try to hold on to it, it’s pain and suffering. So, these losses are enormous gifts from the universe to say, “You can actually let go right now if you want. You can be here present. You can be with what is.” Every ego mind has an absolute terror of looking and seeing what is. Everyone has a terror of that. Ego believes you are your story; without your story you are nothing. Truth is … with your story you are nothing. Without your story you’re eternity; you’re everything; you’re God; you’re divine. As they say: “selling yourself for a penny on the dollar.” Holding on to a story that’s worth a penny, instead of the infinite riches of now, of the truth of yourself, of your divine nature.

Participant One: Just on that note about how you’re explaining all of that which makes so much sense, it feels right the way that you’re discussing it and I see it. It’s the after-the-fact, and I kept thinking about it so much this time around … why does it hurt so much…. every time? I’ve gone through so many losses. It should be a lot easier. It’s the wrapping up of this period of time that no longer exists because it’s past. I’m sure many of us have been down this road where the heart is just wounded from letting go of things you love. We’re very aware that the present moment is absolute, only existing. Every moment is every moment and the ghosts are just stories and it’s so human of us to want to be connected to something that we love so much.

Sanhia: You are not connected to the story. If you want to be connected, you do it every time you step outside your door into the beauty of the winter, into the trees, into the birds, the deer, whatever animals you see about, even the people, even the cars. That you are absolutely connected to everything that surrounds you at every moment, unless you are in your mind saying, “I wish this weren’t here and instead I had this cat with me.” So, you would rather have the cat that you can’t have than this universe of riches that is right here, right now. Ever changing – not the same universe – constantly moving and changing. You would get bored if it were the same all of the time. Yes, there is grief, so feel it and let it move and then notice what is around you. When you ask yourself why it still hurts or why it hasn’t become easier, you are in your mind and separate from the real world in front of you. Your story always separates you from what is and causes pain and suffering. Notice that and come back to the now.

Participant One: I do settle back into that place where I get what the “what is in front of me” is, whether I am making a cup of tea or whether I’m walking out into a snow storm – that’s my present moment. I feel the joy, like shovelling snow gives me so much joy it is ridiculous. I love being out there in the middle of the night shovelling snow, watching it blow around, being out there, warm. I love all of these things. (laughing) That’s my journey; it’s to find the joy within this human experience. It’s always alone that I enjoy myself and my time. So, stepping out in the world and interacting with people, I’m happy and I share happiness. But that deep love, that deep something…. I’m just in a kind of nothingness, and I think that’s what I’m supposed to be. That nothingness is really what does exist. It just feels really empty of love. It’s more about a void of anything that really matters anymore. That’s the weirdest place to be. Feels dead — and yet you’re not dead – but you feel dead. All of that sensual love that I felt for the furry kids, there’s a bond whether you’re at nature, whether you’re having a great human experience of family – whatever it is. You feel full. It’s just been really strange having the fullness, but the emptiness, all at the same time.


Sanhia: You have hit the nail right on the head. Everything and nothing exist simultaneously. You are one with everything – with every object, every experience, every thought, every feeling, and every person. At the same time, none of it exists; it is all illusion. The place where everything and nothing intersect is in the now. The mind is absolutely incapable of understanding this. That is why you let the mind and the thoughts go; you give up trying to understand and just welcome whatever gifts God or the universe present to you. There is no story here. There is just life. Mind wants to find a story. This only leads to pain, confusion, and suffering. There is no story. There just is what is – and that isn’t even real! These are all just words and are not the truth. They are just pointers. Take your question about how can there be fullness and the void at the same time and keep looking within yourself for the answer.

Participant One: We also talked about – once upon a time – the service to others spectrum. That can also be a depletion of our own self love. Where we are always wanting to help others, as opposed to filling ourselves first so that we are full for everything out there. I think my energy, lack of energy, for the human experience comes from…. I just find it exhausting. I truly do. The other space I don’t feel depleted from. Even when I’m going through natural world or furry family trauma, it’s a different feeling of grief. The human experience is just a big journey; I know it’s the one we’re supposed to be on so it’s okay (laughing). It’s all part of everything. It’s just interesting going back to ourselves, always. Loving ourselves says a lot about what we can do in the world when we are that full. 

Sanhia: Usually when we talk about projection, we are talking about judging others for the things you don’t want to see in yourself, but loving another is also projection. All the love that you direct toward your cats is a projection of loving yourself, realizing that you couldn’t love them without loving yourself. Because you have the belief that you are not worthy of love, you project that love onto your animals. Notice that and look at the part of you that is self judging. Keep looking until you find the truth of your loveliness, of your divinity. The cats are there to remind you to do that. What a gift! In the same way that whatever causes you to not be around people, what judgments are there … that “Oh, thank you for showing that there is the place where I don’t love myself; there is the place where I judge myself.”  You may avoid people some, but we all know that you can’t do it all of the time, even if it’s just the clerk in the grocery store or the person who is throwing all of the fatty, sugary foods in their basket and you are thinking, “Oh, how can you eat all of that junk?” (laughing) So constantly you have this gift of the moment of seeing where you are not loving yourself. The mind wants to say, “No, this is about them. This is about my cat not being here.”  No, it’s never; it’s all projection. Whether it is love or judgment, it’s all projection. 

There is an enormous difference between service that just emerges spontaneously and passionately and service that comes out of guilt, of need for approval, of being worthy, of being good and so on. The latter comes from the mind; it just bounds out. The animals don’t ask for much. People ask for enormous amounts. Is the avoiding people out of, “I don’t want to feel all of that guilt and that pull on me because I would want to take care of them the way I would take care of my furries”, as opposed to allowing it simply to bubble up spontaneously where it does. Look at this projection where you feel compelled to help others. Take it home and look into it. Is it truly in your heart to serve, or is this an attempt to hide from feelings of guilt, unworthiness, or un-lovableness? Look at the truth of these self judgments. The people in your life are providing this wonderful gift to you. Offer silent thanks and receive what is being presented. It is always about you and never about them. You want to open these gifts. It is not your job to fill yourself anymore than it is your job to serve others. Life is filling you at every moment. Let it.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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A conversation over “What Is the meaning of life?” Part 2 | Sanhia on Projection

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(Taken from a recent Spiritual Awareness Zoom group. It is recommended that you also read the messages from January and February if you haven’t already done so)


Good Now!

Participant 3: Is a relationship possible if both partners forget all the past?

We call that a divine relationship.

Participant 3: Hey who are you? (laughing) Hi, all of the time. It’s like a new person. 

But they are. You are not the same as you were yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that. Every day, every moment you are a new person. So is your partner. The more tightly that you hold on to your story and the one you have assigned to your partner, the less able you are to notice the present you or the present him. You have already decided what you like and don’t like about that person. Instead of living with the person who is present with you, you are now having a relationship with a projection from your mind. The partner is just being there. You don’t know who they are. Look and see what presents itself in this moment. He doesn’t do anything to you. Doing just happens. Your mind wants to give meaning to everything. You can notice when you are doing that.

Participant 3: But it’s good sometimes. If the person throws cold water on me and I want warm water, then I need to remove myself from them. It’s good to know that it is cold water again and not to expect something else from this person. 

Who is giving them the label of cold-water thrower?

Participant 3: Yes, it’s cold for me. 

That means that wherever you go you will likely get cold water. It may look warm at first, but sooner or later it will feel like cold water. It is you, not the partner, who is giving meaning here. Let’s say that you are absolutely in the now, no past and no future. How can water be cold? (laughter) Something is experienced as unpleasant because the thought is there that this is not what you want to be here. Just for fun, let’s say that you are undifferentiated God and you have the inspiration to find out what water feels like. You have never experienced the physical so you manifest a body and water and jump into it. Would you say that the water is warm or cold? You would have nothing to compare it to. It is just the sensation of water in this now. You can only evaluate temperature if you have a story from another time. Since everyone has their own story no two people will absolutely agree about the comfort of the same water.

Participant 3: I’m confused. If I’m choosing someone to be with, and he’s treating me with cold water, and I keep letting it be, then I’m not being good to myself. 

Are you absolutely certain that you have been doing this choosing? Did you choose to meet this person whom you had never met before? 

Participant 3: It just happened. If he asks me out again after the cold water I can say yes or no. If I’m good with cold water, I can say yes.

But your saying of yes or no is based on your story. Did you choose your story? How far back does this cold water run in your story? Has it happened more than once?

Participant 3: I see how I feel when someone is caring and when they are not caring. It’s a mix of many stories.

It’s just your story. It has nothing to do with him. If you let yourself believe that it is about them, you will meet the same story over and over because it is your story. Your relationship is just the intersection of your stories. 

Participant 3: So, what do I do?

Notice when you are in a story. Saying that he is throwing cold water on you is a story. 

Participant 3: That’s his story.

No, it’s your story. He is just doing what he’s doing. Your story is about projection. You see him doing what you are doing to yourself. The question is why you are throwing cold water on yourself. 

Participant 3: But I’m still not going out with him again.

So, you will let the next one throw cold water and the next. This will go on until you recognize who is throwing the water.

Participant 3: Okay, I see your point. (laughter)

All that you can do is to notice your projection and let go of believing your story about it. The story is that you are a victim of jerks who throw cold water. Now you are the heroine, virtuous but long suffering. You can stand up for yourself, but the scenario merely repeats. The mind takes these things so seriously. But they are not true. None of the story is true. 

Participant 3: Is it about loving yourself? About wanting to be loved?

That’s a story too. Loving or not loving yourself is a story. It might be closer to truth to simply say you are love, or love is. There is nothing but love. It is all one. The mind thinks that perfection is somewhere else, that it’s not here. It’s always looking for someone or some place else and can’t see what is here. Love is here now. You do not fit my mind’s picture of who I want you to be, so there is not love here. Instead of seeing what is not here you can look and see what is actually here. Yes, the thoughts and the judgments and the guilt are here in your mind, but what can actually be pointed at? Do these thoughts actually appear anywhere? Can they be noticed by any of your senses? 

Participant 2: I think that the reason we sometimes feel we aren’t loved and that everything around is not love is because we are judging?

Yes, but mainly judging self. It may look like it is somebody else, but that is just projection. That feels safer. It’s not you, it’s that idiot over there. “Fry him God. I’m a good girl. Let him burn in hell. I’m trying to be as you want me to be.”

Participant 2: If we are saying that the only way is to see and accept what is, what if it doesn’t feel right? What if you don’t like what is?

You notice that there is not-liking-it present. That is not an emotion; that’s a belief or a thought. The emotion is felt in the body. When you push someone away because you notice you feel bad in their presence, you are saying that it is not okay to feel that way. Self judgment takes place for having that feeling. If you totally accepted all your feelings, you would welcome anybody to come in and push any button they could, so that you could feel every one of your feelings. 

Participant 3: I get so confused sometimes. Choosing someone who is a criminal so that he can push my buttons?

We’re just joking a little bit here. You don’t choose who you will be with. Relationships just happen, sometimes, perhaps, with a criminal (laughter). 

Participant 2: But you can choose to stay with them, or leave.

Maybe. (more laughter) Are you sure about that. It’s absolutely an illusion that you are choosing anything. It is just what is.  This doesn’t mean that you can’t walk away from something. When you walk away because it isn’t good, you bring mind and judgment in. The only thing you can be certain about with your mind is that it lies almost all of the time. It evaluates and separates itself from what is. It constantly judges. How do you know that something isn’t good for you? The body may just move away from something instinctively, but that does not come with a mind judgment. It just does that. The mind “chooses” as it does because it is programmed to do that, programmed by the past, not seeing what is present. The mind’s desire is to hide the truth from you; the truth is that you have a story, and that story causes you to have pain and suffering. It also justifies the existence of the ego mind. Better to be a victim than not to exist at all is it’s reasoning. Your story dictates your “choosing”. There is no freedom of choice in that. There is just an endless loop of suffering until you stop believing in your story. As long as you hold on to your story you find yourself back in the same situations. 

Participant 2: What is the way to let go of the story?

Notice that you are telling yourself a story. Notice that you believe your mind is right. Notice that projection is taking place. Notice that you feel a victim. Notice, notice, notice. But don’t take seriously what is noticed. Don’t listen to the voice that says that you must make the right choice to get away from your story. The only way to get away from the story is to realize it isn’t true. It doesn’t matter if you stay or walk away, if you still believe in your story. You’ll meet it somewhere down the road. 

Participant 3: But how to notice the difference. It’s also a judgment to say that this time you did it right. 

Exactly, but perhaps you notice that judgment is present. All that is here is that there is walking away taking place. It is not right or wrong; it simply is what is. If you physically walk away but mentally keep thinking of that person and analysing what he did, you haven’t walked away. You brought him with you while keeping the body at a safe distance. True walking away would not be walking “away” but would be walking into the next experience. Walking away because you have a feeling to do so may not be the same thing as walking away for a reason – for the judgment that there is something you don’t like about the other person. One is reacting to the now; the other is reacting to a story. If you walk away and are still thinking about him, you probably have a story. Notice that there is a story and then be willing to look deeply into it. That means that it is not about him; it’s about you and your story. 

Participant 3: What is my projection when I am perceiving cold water from him? 

How are you throwing cold water upon yourself? It may take a while to see it. It helps to be literal with what you see the other doing, in this case the “throwing of cold water”. 

Participant 3: Do you mean in this very moment?

There is only this very moment. In every moment, whether you are alone, with a male, or with anybody else – you are throwing cold water on yourself. You are the one doing that. Get rid of the middleman, whom you have no control over anyway. It is necessary to let go of the projection before you can really see how you are doing this to yourself. Don’t shoot the messenger. You are the one who has sent the message. If you were willing to look directly at this you would have no need for him to do it. It is scary for you to look at this, but absolutely necessary in order to end the cycle.

Participant 3: That’s why I don’t see it. So, how do I find the key?

The key is to really get that it is you and not him. When you are certain it is in you, I guarantee that you will dig until you find it. The wonderful news is that it is not him. How can you do anything about him?  At least with yourself you have the possibility of going past your resistance to finding why you believe you deserve to be treated the way you are treating yourself. From there you can see if there is any true justification for your self-judgment. Hopefully, you will find that it is based on untruths. If not, keep digging. Self punishment comes about because of self guilt. The truth behind it all is that you are innocent and Divine. Keep digging until you realize that. Without a story there can be no separation, no guilt, no victimhood, and no suffering. If that isn’t worth letting go of projection, I don’t know what could be. It’s not likely to be a quick fix, though stranger things have happened. Likely it will demand persistence. Ego mind will not usually retire gracefully. It will continue to whisper in your ear that it is him and you need to do something about that. 

Participant 2: So, in this case where she says that he did not take care of her and wouldn’t feed her, should that be taken literally?

Excellent point. How do you not feed yourself or otherwise take care of yourself? How do you not give yourself what your heart desires in the moment?

Participant 3: Being polite for example, and not leaving sooner.

When mind and judgment aren’t involved, then leaving is easy. It is better called going to rather than leaving from. You just do it. You have no idea if you are coming back. How could you? You are just going now. Life is just an endless chain of relating to what is here in the present. Some people will occur back in your life often; some never again. Most will fall somewhere in the middle. Even in the closest relationships you come and go; you don’t spend twenty-four hours together each day. 

If in your mind the strongest thought is that the purpose in life is for you to awaken to the truth of yourself, then everything else – relationships, work, money, success, achievement – will be filtered through how it relates to your state of awakening. Nothing else will have a value of its own; none of it can become your purpose in life. If awakening does become your purpose in life, a roadblock remains. You want to wake up because you believe you aren’t. However, you are awake but just not aware of it. So, your purpose is to get someplace that doesn’t exist and that is not possible. It’s here right now. So even awakening cannot be the purpose in life. Knowing your Divinity cannot be the purpose. You already are that. It is not the sun’s purpose to be the sun. It is the sun. You already are that. Look until the you that is looking is one with the observed. No separation. A fish doesn’t notice it is swimming in water. It is one with the water. If there is any purpose, there is separation. All you can do is notice that is present, thinking you should be something different than you are right now. 

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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A conversation over “What Is the meaning of life?” Part 1 | Sanhia on the Death of Your Story

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         (click for audio on YouTube)

(Taken from a recent Spiritual Awareness Zoom group. It is recommended that you read the previous message if you haven’t already done so)


Good Now!

Participant 1: If there is no meaning to life, why are we here?

That’s what we’re trying to figure out.


Participant 2: For me I was also thinking that if there is no point to life it doesn’t feel like there is anything to want or to do. There are no interests, no nothing. It feels so empty and pointless. 

Is the meaning to have a point and to be full?

Participant 2: Maybe then it feels more joyful or…

What would bring joy or make you feel full?

Participant 2: I don’t even know. At the moment it feels like nothing and it pisses me off because I don’t like that feeling. 

So, you wish you weren’t feeling pissed off?

Participant 2. Yeah! Of course! 

So, the meaning of life is to not feel pissed off? Is that it?

Participant 2: It’s not the meaning, but it would be nice.

Then what do you do to not feel pissed off? Or do you just wait for that to come?

Participant 2: I really don’t know but I have to find something because I really don’t like it as it is. 

Let’s say that you came up with an idea and you said, “Okay, here’s my plan”. You carry out the plan and find that you are no longer pissed off. Will that feeling last forever?

Participant 2: No, of course not.

So the meaning of life is that you are forever trying to get somewhere else, but even if you succeed, it doesn’t last so again you are trying to get somewhere. 

Participant 2: Gosh, that sounds bad. Sounds like Sisyphus. Is there any meaning then?

Think of anything that all people would always want to have out of life…. (silence) Let’s say that you get that thing that gives life meaning and then you die. Do you still have that thing?

Participant 3: No

You don’t have the perfect partner. You don’t have the millions in the bank. Maybe we should say that the meaning of life is death, because that is the only thing that everyone shares.

Participant 1: Isn’t it to find out who you really are?

Oh! Who are you?

Participant 1: I have heard that I am divine 

He was probably just trying to get in your pants.

Participant 1: (laughing) Are you my mother? (laughing) And that I am not separated. that I am a part of the whole, oneness.

Let me interrupt you for a second. Let’s assume that all of that is true. Then, why do you have this life?

Participant 2: To remember and find that you are all of those things that were mentioned. Because sometimes it doesn’t feel like this at all. 

So, you have to have a life to find out that you are one with God? So, is that the meaning of life?

Participant 2: It sounds like it.

But you already are one with God. What changes by finding out?

Participant 2: Another feeling inside because just knowing it mentally isn’t enough. Sometimes my mind just goes “Bullshit”. Maybe truly believing it in my bones would be different. 

So, if you are one with God, you are thinking of self as “you” and are then by definition separate from God. How can you have a separate identity in Oneness? 

Participant 1: That is the dream we are dreaming. Most of us think that is the truth. 

So, let’s come back to this thought that maybe the meaning in life is to come to a place of knowing that you are One with everything and connected to it. Then, of course, there would be no separate you left to be looking for meaning. That might suggest that your life itself has no meaning; it’s just letting go of your separate identity, of your story, of the search.  As long as you are looking for meaning, you are looking outside of yourself. You are not looking within nor at what is in front of you now, but into the future. You are looking for what might be rather than what is. Everything you want is not here now, but now is all that there is. The rest is only taking place in the mind, in your thoughts, and has no reality. If you find yourself in the place where all that is real is what is present in the moment, you are now in what could be called cat mind. Animals do not fear death. They have instinctive self-preservation reactions. You could have let go of all fear of death, but would still leap out of the path of a speeding car. That’s simply what the body does. It’s no different than bodies eating or breathing. They just do that. It’s life living life. 

If you think, “My purpose in life is to wake up” – as soon as you have that thought you are saying that there is no awakeness now because if there is awakeness now how can awakening be the purpose? The assumption then is “I am not awake to the truth of myself”. Then you bring in a story that goes back to your childhood. “Because of what my parents did, I am still healing. I am a helpless, and perhaps hopeless, victim. My story includes what I was subjected to in school and at church, as well as what my friends, my superiors, and the whole damn mass consciousness has told me.” Some of your story includes successes and spiritual insights, but they are all still a part of your story. The story may include a future where your spiritual growth is enough for you to finally awaken. All of that is part of your story. It is what you focus on and hold on to instead of seeing what is here right now. There can be no awakening alongside an active story. There is just now; there is just life happening…not to you, but all around you. Your story is just a diversion, a game going on in the mind that leaves you asleep and suffering. You think the story is going somewhere. If there is no purpose, there is nowhere to go, there is no destination. There is no Hollywood ending. There is just this. There is no meaning. There is just this fantastic beingness that you are always immersed in, but you usually avert your attention from it by creating a purpose, a goal. Notice that in the story you have created up until now there has been no “ending” that has been fully satisfactory. There is always another goal. The job is never over. It is never enough so, you are back to Sisyphus. If there is no purpose you have permission to stop trying. But that empty feeling, that hopelessness, is just the death throes of the ego, the me that wants to be something special instead of just being. 

There was a fun movie some years ago called “50 First Dates” about a woman who awakes each morning with no memory. She has no story. She doesn’t remember the man she had loved the day before, so he has to convince her each day anew of his love. However, the movie wants to pull on your feelings of “poor her” rather than “lucky her”. She starts each day fresh with no story, responding simply to what appears in the moment. Again, I toss out to you the question, “What is the meaning of life?” 

Participant 3: It’s experiencing and feeling; being authentic with it. 

What does being authentic mean? 

Participant 3: Doing my best. Not running away from uncomfortable feelings because they are there now. Instead, I observe if this experience is a part of all.

Who determines what is your best? What is it being compared to?

Participant 3: To running away or not running away.

How do you know if you are running away or not?

Participant 3: If I am feeling my body consciously, I am doing my best. If I forget myself, I am away, so the experience is that I am in my head creating stories. 

What is the mind doing when it says you are being authentic or you are running away?

Participant 3: Evaluating? I don’t know.

When you evaluate, are you just looking at what is?

Participant 3: Just was (laughs).

You say you are running away. 

Participant 3: If I notice that I was in my head and I catch myself, then I am aware of it.

A bear is running toward you and you turn and run the other way. Are you running away?

Participant 3: No. no, that’s another story (laughs). I mean running away from my feeling which is uncomfortable. 

You could not label it “running away” unless you were in your mind rather than your feelings. “Running away” is a judgment. It is an evaluation which means that rather than being in the present you are bringing in your mind which is influenced by forty years of programming to determine whether your action is good or bad. That evaluation is not the same as it might have been twenty years ago as there has been much reprogramming during that space. But the action is still mind directed.

 Participant 3: Twenty years ago, I didn’t know that feeling my fears was a thing.

Yes, but forty years ago you did and you just expressed them. Then you learned that it wasn’t a good thing to express them. but now saying that it is a good thing to express them is just the flip side of the same coin. It is still a judgment, an evaluation by the mind. In terms of authentic, it is not authentic. Feelings are just there. 

Participant 3: But if I don’t notice them being there half of the day, I have missed all those feelings, for example.

You can’t evaluate missing feelings from this morning because you are not there. You are just in now. Now the mind is thinking about this morning and comparing and judging, saying could have, should have, would have. There is judgment of self, but what is is. In the now, there is a feeling that doesn’t want to be faced. Nothing good or bad, simply what is. As soon as you bring a morality into it, then you are saying something like, “The purpose in life is to express all of your feelings.”

Participant 3: Not express, just notice them. Feel them. 

How could you know if you are feeling all of your feelings?

Participant 3: Because of some bodily signs. Getting intense, for example, when I give it attention. Then the body reacts with energetic flow or something.

So that might be around one feeling. Perhaps while noticing that one, you are not aware of five others. 

Participant 3: Oh ya.

Oh boy! It’s a never-ending job to notice all of the feelings, especially if you don’t get to use your mind to evaluate how you are doing. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

Participant 3: It’s another Sisyphus. I’m just registering the feelings; how many I have (laughing). 

There is an enormous difference between noticing what is, which includes noticing you are having a thought and acting on it. You can be aware the thoughts are there, without following them. Come back to now. The thoughts are always related to the past, never to the present. You may be having the thought that you are responsible for handling this, that you have to be sure that you are in touch with your feelings. What a thankless task you give yourself if you pay attention to those thoughts and let them guide you. Again, is the meaning of life to feel all your feelings? How much simpler to just notice that a feeling or thought is here and let it be. There seems to be anger here. There seems to be depression here. There seems to be excitement here. There is a tightness in the heart area here. There are thoughts of hopelessness here. There is nothing that has to be done about any of it. There is just noticing. You are not in control. The you that wants to be in control is the ego mind. The ego mind wants to find the purpose in life and then work to get there. It wants to set goals and strive toward them until they are achieved. In reality there is no purpose and there are no goals. There is just now. If you are not here all you can do is fail. The older you get, the more hopeless you become with your accumulated failures. 

Participant 1: So, stay young forever

Participant 3: Stay young, that is a purpose for life! (laughter)

Then we are aiming for not over two years old. (laughter) 

Participant 2: My twelve-year-old keeps bugging me with this question, “What is the purpose in life?” 

Asking questions that can’t be answered. 

Participant 2: That is exhausting. 

There is a very simple answer for your questioning mind. Life is. Being is. You see a butterfly flitting around your yard. Is there any purpose there? 

Participant 2: Beauty is the purpose.

The butterfly wants to be beautiful? 

Participant 3: It just is.

It just is. The mind will go overtime thinking about the butterfly’s purpose being to get nectar and help fertilize the flowers and to be a cog in this whole system. If that is the purpose, why does it need to dance around in the air? That is just what the butterfly does. It has no goals, no successes or failures. That’s why you do things. Because you do them. Perhaps you notice a desire and act upon it. Why? Where did the desire come from? Why did you respond to it? Life just happens. Another time you notice the desire and don’t act. There is no reason here. You act as you act. Life simply is. Life happens. If there is no meaning, it doesn’t matter what you do. That cop that sits in your mind watching everything you do, being ready to write you a ticket for acting wrongly, no longer has a purpose. You can’t do anything wrong. You are free. 

Participant 1: That’s kind of scary, to be absolutely free.

Scary to the cop. 

Participant 1: As I think of there being no purpose, I feel how empty it would be. It seems there are a lot of things I want to try to get or to get to. Those thoughts seem to give meaning to life. In dropping that there are a lot of different shades of terror. I guess I just have to look at all of that and let the feelings do what they want. In doing that I have been surprised that the terror is so deep. Do we need to accept that there is no meaning? If it is so, then I want to try to face it, not try to create something else.

You don’t need to do that, but it is very easy to face. Wherever you are, whenever you are, you simply look around you. You open your eyes. Look at everything in your immediate environment; use all of your senses. Be aware of what is going on in the body. None of it has any meaning. The mind may come in and make up stories, but they are just thoughts; they don’t exist in the world. There may be a chair sitting in the room. The mind may go into a story about how you got it, but that isn’t happening now. Now, there is just the chair in the room. If you are absolutely with what is here now, there is no meaning anywhere. There is just isness. Meaning comes only from the analytical mind. It is not inherent in anything. The mind’s job is to keep you separate from what is by naming, classifying, or reasoning. 

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

(This conversation will be concluded in the next message)

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What Is Freedom? (Part 2) | Sanhia on Finding Inner Spiritual Freedom

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                                                            (click for audio on YouTube)

Good Now!

Participant: You have described how to find the outer freedom, can you say more about how to find the inner spiritual freedom?

It would be nice if I could give you a blueprint for how to do this, but it is going to be different for each one of you. I can offer some general pointers. The first one is that if there are things that you feel you should do, that they are the right things to do, that you need to do, that it’s not safe to not do … Stop it! Don’t do it! 

Participant: What do you mean that I shouldn’t do?

That in your mind you believe you should be doing. That everyone says that it’s the right thing to do. You’ll be a financial or emotional disaster if you don’t do this. You’ll lose everything if you don’t act as you are supposed to. The first thing is to stop doing that. I’m not so naive as to believe that a person is going to be able to stop on a dime doing everything they feel they should be doing, but nonetheless you make that commitment. Then you begin cutting and cutting. 

Participant: Tell me more about this commitment.

There are two steps. First you don’t do things you are not guided by your heart to do. If you have spent your life ignoring your heart while doing what society expects from you, this may present an enormous challenge. You have no practice in it. It may be difficult to even hear your heart. All you hear are these voices of fear. The first step is to have the willingness to hear your Divine personal will, to begin to turn this ship around, to begin to be guided by that voice. If you can’t hear your inner voice, create space for it. You create space by letting go of things you know it isn’t; the things you truly don’t wish to do. This doesn’t mean you need to quit your job today. It doesn’t mean you have to do anything. But, if the job doesn’t bring you joy you will probably leave it sooner or later. The creating and filling of that space is the second step. Maybe you start in a small way. Here’s an example: the grass is growing and could be cut. The neighbors’ lawns are all better trimmed. In addition, theirs are free of the dandelions and weeds that spread across yours. The mind says that you should go out and mow it, perhaps also finding a way to eliminate those pesky dandelions and weeds. Does the heart wish to cut the grass today? If it doesn’t, don’t do it today. Facing the judgment of others, not to speak of your own, will put you through great emotional upheaval. 

Participant: So don’t follow the fear or act from it. 

Be aware each day where action is triggered by fear. As you stop trying to be a “good girl” or a “good boy” space will open up in your life, the space that was filled with acting from guilt and a sense of duty. Don’t fill this space with more obligations. This is a space to play in. Enjoy it. Slowly find things you have been wanting to do but have denied yourself. This is not a space for judging what is practical, good, or right. The only filter is whether you feel like doing it. Is there at least a modicum of passion present?

You have been taught to believe that you are little, that you are a sinner, that others need to show you the way, that you lack the wisdom to choose for yourself. Is any of that true? That is a prison. You hold the key. You commit to not accepting all of that anymore. You open the door and let yourself move toward the love and the light and the joy that you wish to know and experience. 

Participant: It sounds like when you are grown up you can have this discernment: is this what I want to do, is this my freedom? How is it for a child? Is there freedom for them also? 

You notice how everyone is different. Some children acquiesce when confronted with the discipline adults ask from them, saying “Yes ma’am” and “Yes sir” and trying to be “good”. Some rebel and refuse to cooperate; they won’t play the game. Why do some claim freedom while others don’t? We could look at many reasons for that, but the audience receiving this message now are not children, so we could say that it doesn’t matter. On the other hand, it could be said that much of the audience is still acting like children, still trying to do the right thing or perhaps living in rebellion. Those who rebel may not be any freer than those who cooperate. Rather than being free to do as they wish, they may be controlled by a need to oppose, to fight, and to do the opposite of what is desired by others, rather than listening to their heart. It could also be suggested for those of you who are no longer children, but occasionally or more often find yourself in their presence – that you could try two things. First, do your best to allow the children to follow their hearts as opposed to trying to imbed in them your thoughts of who they should be and what they should do. You will not have much success there if you are not allowing such freedom for yourself. Children will be more influenced by your actions than your words. So, let yourself out of jail.  Second, you can consider the possibility that perhaps the children are the teachers and you are the student. They likely are in greater contact with their passions and act more frequently on them. The socialization project of mass consciousness has not yet been completed. Let yourself play with them. 

Participant: Why is it good to choose freedom? Where will it take me?

If you can think back to being a child and playing, just playing … there was no reason for your playing. There was no goal involved. You were simply acting out the joy you wished to express at that moment. That is all that was there. There was no meaning, no reason for your play. There was no sense of something you had to accomplish, something you came here to do. There was not likely such a mental awareness as this, but you were simply God expressing through a human body whatever was desired to be expressed. You were absolutely free to play with that in any way that you were moved to do. 

Participant: As a grown-up does it lead me to freedom to follow my inner divine voice? 

It does not lead to freedom; it is freedom. You are free to do that. Nothing can stop you from that except you. When you act from a motivation of joy rather than fear, you are expressing freedom. It is not leading you to freedom. You have always had that freedom. But you haven’t necessarily chosen to exercise it. The mind often draws a line limiting your freedom. You can do this, but not that. That is going too far. Really? Says who? It is only a belief that draws these lines, that builds the walls of this prison. These beliefs are not imposed from the outside. They are chosen and re-chosen in the present by you. If you allow yourself to follow your inner voice you will find it to be in constant movement and change. The joy that guides you in the present doesn’t lead anywhere. Where does the weather go? Does the weather have purpose? It constantly changes and expresses. So do you. You learn from everything you express in the present, from everything you do. Your computer is constantly being reprogrammed.  You may decide not to try that one again, or you may have a “Wow!” and want to go that way again. Of course it will never be the same way again. Everything changes. You may be inspired to tweak it in a certain way. 

Participant: As you started to say that for a child there are rules all around them about what to do and how to behave. Do I have to balance that in some way to get my freedom?

What usually happens is that as an adult you take over the role of the enforcer that was in your life as a child. 

Participant: And you call that freedom?

No, that’s not freedom at all. You could call that “being socialized”. You no longer need an adult telling you what to do because the policeman is in your head now. 

Participant: Oh, yeah, so how do I get to the freedom?

By saying no.

Participant: No?

No to the should. No to what there is no passion for. No to the guilt. 

Participant: So it’s no to this and no to that. Where is the freedom?

It may start out that way. The freedom is wherever you notice it. Maybe today you notice you wish to take a walk in the park. Perhaps now you wish to lie in a hammock and read a book. 

Participant: You make it sound like there is an inner voice of freedom. All that you need to do is to listen and follow that inner voice. Is it so?

Yes, but we could replace freedom with joy, curiosity, excitement, or passion. But you would not use terms like duty, responsibility, what is “right” or “the right thing to do”, or what “should be done”.

Participant: Why is freedom something that is not promoted by society? Why doesn’t society want me to be free? 

This is learned behavior. It is how people’s computer minds are programmed. Society cannot teach you to be free because it was not taught how to be free. 

Participant: Will society break down if most of the people take their freedom?

That is the fear that is held. Not only should you do as you are told because the authority and the rewards and punishments go way back, all the way to god, but you are also letting society down when you don’t follow these dictates. Such freedom leads to anarchy and lawlessness and who knows what. This comes from a society that has created constant war, poverty, separation and aloneness, and a multitude of unhappy, unfulfilled people. Listening to outer authority has demonstrably failed. Can your inner guidance do worse? Is it not worth taking the chance; could things really be more disastrous? It is the reaching of such a point of thinking that things cannot get any worse that leads some to consider other possibilities.

Participant: You are talking about freedom and God. How do they connect with each other?

We could say that if God has a horse in this race, the horse is God expressing that you were made like God, so why not be like God? No limits. Divine. Free to create whatever you want. Do it!  

Participant: Where can I find this Divine freedom? Where is it speaking?

It’s speaking wherever you have insight or passion, wherever you are drawn to something. 

Participant: So if I follow my passions, it slowly deepens my freedom?

Or your awareness of your freedom deepens. The freedom is always there. There is knowing that. No one can control you. Even if they take your physical life, that is nothing. That is not who you are. You simply are. You are God having experiences through a body. If you want to come back using another body, you will do that. 

Participant: I want to have freedom.

You have it. 

Participant: How can I be sure?

By exercising it. You will not know it by listening to me. Act on it. That is the only way to find out. The fear is all that stands in your way. Even when you choose what you truly desire, the fear will probably not go away immediately. It will likely intensify. It is waiting for what it believes will be the eventual punishment. The old tapes will continue to roll, warning you that you won’t get away with this, that you just can’t do what you want to do. The fear will be there, so you face it. Let it be there. Let it express. Feel it in your body. Don’t deny it or try to chase it away. Welcome it as long as it wishes to hang out with you, but don’t let it run the show. Don’t let it guide your actions. It is simply time for the fear to wash through the body like a summer storm, to do its cleansing and to pass on allowing the sun to shine again. 

Participant: So freedom is connected with being brave enough to face my fear.

Yes

Participant: So that is the balance … with the freedom and the fear. Would you say? 

Yes, but you need to let it rage as long and as loud as it wishes. You fear that your fear will kill you, but it won’t. Try it out and let me know how it works for you. Face the fear. Let it roar. Take no actions to abate it. Do nothing that mind tells you will protect you. Sooner or later the fear will run its course. Everything changes. Nothing goes on forever. Put off action until the calm has returned and then choose from your passion. 

Participant: So the freedom is realized when you have the guts to not follow what the fear would have you do, but to just face the fear until it’s gone and then choose from your passion.

I couldn’t have expressed it better, but the proof of the pudding is in the eating. So, to conclude today’s conversation, we will make reference to the all-American game of Monopoly. You land on “Chance” and draw a card. It reads “Get out of jail free”. This card is my gift to you now, and this particular card has the magic to be reusable. Anytime guilt, shoulds, victimhood, or fear come to you, play this card.

Participant: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Good Now!

Sanhia/Spirit

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Can you talk more about the personal self not existing? Part 1 | Sanhia on Waking Up from the Story of You

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(click for audio on YouTube)

(recorded from a live session)

The ego mind has its own definition of perfection, and it only, occasionally, accidentally bumps up against the perfection that is. Part of that picture of perfection often is that the ego mind fully understands what is going on. But the ego mind never understands what is going on. It can’t because it is insane. It feels that it is real and it thinks that you are separate from the One. And it feels it has a mind of its own that should be listened to. Einstein once said, “The mind that created the problem is incapable of creating the solution”. You can rest easily with not understanding. Understanding is the function of the ego mind. Knowing is the function of Spirit. So, when you know, it is beyond understanding. There is no explaining why you know or what you know; you just know. There is certainty. That is why when you follow the will of God there is no choice. You just know. If you think there is choice, then you are in the ego mind trying to figure it out. And, as I like to say, good luck with that, because it doesn’t matter what you choose. We’ll talk more about these experiences of noticing, being what you think of as you, but noticing. What kind of experiences? And so you find that the world doesn’t disappear if you wait and don’t make a decision. What is important? If there is fear in the now, then that is what’s in the now. That is the gift. But it is not something to be overcome. 

Participant: Coming up distrust. Sometimes it is painful and I can feel it is so hard not to project it. I can see when I project. It is like abandoning myself. Even though I see all of this it’s really hard to let it go. There is some ego voice that is so angry, or very loud. So it’s really a roller coaster. And there is another thing that is very important, that’s about my karmic eight. What an enormous ego power it has. How my impulse is really driven by this controlling bitch. That is also an important insight. 

The place that we want to come back to is this place where there is no you. If there is no you, then there are no stories. Then there is no karmic eight. That’s a story. You can deal with all of the stories. You have found in another discipline that you could deal with your feelings and deal with your feelings, and the bucket is bottomless. You never reach the end of it. There is always another feeling. There is always something else. If there is fear it works better to accept it than to resist it. But, who is having this fear? As long as you believe there is a you who has fear, you will have fear. But there is no you having this fear. That is the illusion. Go. You look and notice that there is something noticing the story; whatever it might be, that is not the story. It’s simply noticing the story. No different than if you are watching a film on the television. You are noticing that story but you are not the story. So the question continually is, “Who is noticing this?”, and, “Where is this noticer?”  If you keep looking at that and looking at that, if you think you have found the noticer, “Who is noticing the noticer you have found?”  There is a step back and a step back, but there is no forwards and backwards so we are just saying that in a metaphorical sense that there is a step back until there is simply noticing. No noticer, simply noticing. 

Participant: What does that mean? The difference?

When you are watching a film, say on the television, you are noticing. First of all, you are noticing it is all projected on the screen. It’s not real; it’s not happening in your living room. You are simply noticing a projection on the screen. Where there is a character on the screen, you are noticing the character but you are not saying that’s me. But in the screen that you call your life, you are pretending that the character that you call “you” on the screen is real. But it’s not. It’s an actor that you are watching. You can practice when you’re watching the television screen and notice where you project yourself into any of the characters – either through thinking, “Oh, they are a good character”, or “Oh, they are a bad character”, or “Oh, they shouldn’t do that”, or “What are they thinking?”, and so on. Notice that there is projection going on. It’s not real. You turn it off and everything is gone. Nothing is there. Or you can turn it back on and watch the same episode over and over and over. Does it change? It’s just a projection on a screen. So you can practice with that and notice where you are giving reality to what is on the screen. 

Participant: Now when I have experienced so much physical pain it feels so real because you can’t get away from it, or you can take a painkiller but then everything is gone. 

Now you are projecting on your screen. Is there pain present in the now? 

Participant: That is a memory I am talking about. 

But that is what I am talking about. A memory is not the now. It’s not real. It’s not happening. 

Participant: I couldn’t handle that in that way when it was there. And that’s why I bring it up – to get some guidance around it. 

In the now there may be an experience and your mind might label that experience pain. When it labels pain and names it, then it moves out of the now and allows all of the stories of pain that the mind is holding on to, to be experienced in the now. Not simply what is in the now, but the whole idea of pain and everything around it. For example, a thought comes in, “Aw (breathes deeply), what if the pain keeps getting worse and worse?” “What if it gets to a point where I absolutely can’t stand it?” “What if it never stops?” “What is the meaning of this? Is this a punishment for me?” “What have I done?!” “What’s the lesson I’m supposed to learn? What’s the message? Spirit tell me what’s the message! Why am I having this pain?” The mind goes into all of this craziness that has nothing to do with the now. It’s going off in all of these directions instead of simply noticing the sensation, which is not pain. Pain is a word. You don’t experience a word. So you experience something in the body. So you go into it and you just experience nothing but that; let the mind go. Doesn’t matter what it’s about, where it came from, why it’s there, how long – it’s just what is here right now. And so you say, “Thank you Spirit; this is what is here right now”. And you experience it. And if the mind goes a little bit nuts and it’s more than you can tolerate, then take a painkiller. (laughter). There is no right or wrong about it. And then the next time the sensation comes, it’s a new experience. It’s a new now. But you are with the feeling, not with the thought of the feeling, not with the label of the feeling, but just the feeling. I want you to notice the resistance you have to simply letting it be there. 

Participant: Yeah. I see that. 

And so, for example, you project that.

Participant: Yeah, I have noticed that. And it’s one thing to notice it, but it’s not so easy to stop it. 

Yes, but noticing comes first. If you don’t notice it, it goes on forever. And the second thing you do – you can’t stop these thoughts from coming up but you say, “Ooh, but I’m not going to act on that now. Just going to notice that it’s there.”  

Participant: Then I get a little bit shamed about, “I’m so bad I can’t deal with this”, and so there is judgment on myself and…

It’s all the same thing. Judgment is not of the now. Judgment is comparison to what the mind thinks should be there. And the mind’s crazy. 

Participant: There is this fear of letting it go because then there is this abyss. That is so scary. (laughs) Scares the shit out of me. 

So where is this abyss? 

Participant: Yeah. (laughs) Where is the fear? From where does it come? If I accept it then it just takes over. So that is why there is some fighting against it. 

It already has taken over. (laughter) You’ve been letting it take over, empowering it all of your life. They say that the horse is already out of the barn. The thought of the mind always is dual. There is good and there is bad. Only the good is of God; the bad is not. And of course where you fit in, the you you think of as you, you’re on the bad side. 

Participant: I am? (laughs) 

Always. Trying to be good. “God look at how good I’m being. I’m so good.” But you believe that you’re bad. So what? Punishment? Sickness? “Guilt, fear, all these punishments that come to me because I’m bad.” “But I’m trying to be good. Tell me what I should learn here, God.”  (laughter) And all we’re saying is there’s no good or bad here. Whatever God brings is from God. There are no good gifts from God and bad gifts from God. It’s all Divine. The mind says, “Where is the love?” The truth says, “It’s all love. That’s all there is.” The mind says, “How can I feel loved?” The truth says, “You are love.” But the mind that sees a you as real, separate from God, then sees you as not love, because God is love and you are separate from god, therefore you are not love. 

Participant: Damned if I do and damned if I don’t. 

Loved if you do and loved if you don’t. 

Participant: (laughing) I think I’ll choose that. Is it possible to choose that? Who is choosing?

You’re choosing damned if you do and damned if you don’t, because as long as it’s you choosing, you are choosing separate from God. So no matter what you choose, you are choosing separation. But the truth is…not real. You’re not separate. And the pain is just on the screen. It’s not real. The part of you that believes there is a separate you also believes that pain is probably a good thing; because if you suffer enough, God will take you home. And if you stop suffering you are lost in hell forever. 

Participant: It’s a lot of confusion.

It’s only the mind that creates confusion. There is no confusion, It’s very, very simple. Whatever is here is from God and is Love. If you want to resist and fight it, that’s when it gets confusing. You simply silence what is. How crazy would it be to try to change what is; it already is.

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How do I deal with challenging people in my life? | Sanhia on The Power of Projection

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There is only one challenging person in your life. That, of course, is you. As long as you consider yourself to be a victim of the actions or behaviors of others, your life on planet Earth will be experienced as less than pleasant. Fortunately, victimhood is not the case. We have spoken before about the term projection. There are worse things that you could do than to print up a dozen cards with the word projection on them and post them throughout your home, car, and workplace…on every mirror, by the toilet…as a constant reminder that all you see in the world is your projection, no exceptions. The ego mind goes absolutely ballistic over this and will try incessantly to create exceptions. There are no exceptions. Cause and effect. You are the cause and the world is the effect. Never the reverse.

So, as they like to say in new age circles, there are no challenges or problems, there are only opportunities. These challenges with other people, which are your own creation, are opportunities for you to free yourself from judgment and separation. Or…you can go on pretending that it’s all about other people…and suffer. It’s your call. We don’t have a horse in this race. As a review, this is how projection works. Your ego mind, which thinks it knows everything or at least can figure everything out, knows nothing and can’t figure out anything. It believes you are this body, but you’re not. It thinks you are separate from God and Divinity, but you’re not. If we present this in the form of a story, keeping in mind that no story is true, it might go something like this. The ego believes that it chose to separate from God. This is the tiny confusion from which all of your “problems” stem. The ego is in error because it is not possible to separate from God. Anyway, on with the story. Ego mind creates this body and this universe as a way and a place to hide from God. Realizing it has made a bad choice, wanting to go back home, desiring God’s forgiveness, but feeling that this attempt to kill God is both unforgivable and deserving of severe punishment – ego is in a tough spot. Let’s list some other things that ego mind doesn’t understand. First, you never left home. There is no separation. The body and the Universe are what is not real. God does not and cannot judge. God is pure Love. God does not and cannot punish. Meanwhile in its imagined sinfulness, ego comes up with a plan. Put the blame on somebody else. Maybe God will notice that it is the other and not you who is guilty and deserving of judgment and punishment. “Burn them God! It’s their fault and not mine. I’m Innocent!”, you think. This is projection. Every time you judge another for anything, small or large, it is your guilt that you are projecting. It is all about you and not about them. In addition, you try to be a “good” person so that God will see that you are worthy to be brought back home. The only problem is that you cannot earn something that you already have and the only one accusing you of sin is you. No number of good acts or projections will cleanse you of your self-imposed guilt. You cannot buy your way into heaven. You never left. It is only this guilt that holds you in your earthly hell. So, forgive yourself. End of story.

Well, not quite. You go on through life projecting. Other people are wrong. Other countries are wrong. Other religions are wrong. You are right and you are good, but there is something inside you that doesn’t buy the whole story, that suspects that it is you who are truly guilty. Deep down is this fear, this dread of the inevitability of the coming retribution. Unconsciously you draw loss, pain, failure, illness, and emotional turmoil into your life, always trying to pay this unpayable debt. This is where the healing can begin. Let go of the projection upon God. Let go at the same time of the projection that you have toward yourself. You are innocent. Nothing happened. You did not leave God. God is not upset. It is all much ado about nothing. You cannot hurt God and God cannot hurt you. There is only Love here.

Now let’s return to the opportunity that you called a challenge. You have heard these words from me, perhaps read similar words in A Course in Miracles or heard them from some other teacher, but the bottom line is that you don’t feel them. You feel yourself to be victim to another’s energy. You’re sick and tired of everything but don’t know what to do with it all. This projection works in a very specific way. You don’t project everything on everyone. You project wonderful things onto some people, seeing them as loving and good. When you find yourself with a specific judgment toward another, that is what you believe about yourself but don’t want to face. You fear being punished, so you go into denial and project. Ego mind jumps in and yells, “I’m not like that!”. In truth you are not, but you believe that you are. Until you own this. Until you accept that the judgment is about self and has nothing to do with the other, nothing will change. You will live in projection and victimhood.

Your job, then, is to take ownership of the projections, to accept that the judgment is aimed toward the self. For example, if your projection is that another is not honest with you, ask how you are not honest with yourself. What untruths about self are you believing to be true? Anything short of recognizing your absolute innocence, your Divinity, is part of the lie. You are absolutely loved by God, but are you telling yourself that you are unlovable? You are always provided for, but are you telling yourself that you are undeserving and needy? Forgiveness is not a matter of recognizing where you have been bad and then asking to be forgiven. It is the realization that you have not and could not err, so there is nothing to forgive. There is only the Love of God.

Let’s look at a specific example so you might gain a clearer picture of how this whole process has worked and could work for you. A popular one for those of you who have children is being a victim to them. “They never clean. They don’t do their homework. They are not responsible. They don’t listen to me. They don’t follow my rules. They don’t respect me as the adult.” We could go on and on and you could each add to the list from your own experiences. Let’s just focus on one part of the litany, “My daughter never cleans up after herself. I am left with the choice of being in a constant fight or surrendering to grudgingly being my daughter’s maid.” The choice you make doesn’t matter. What effects you feel come from what you carry around inside yourself. There is a judgment of her irresponsibility causing you to make one of two equally undesirable choices. There is a good possibility that if you listen inside there is a parent saying a similar thing about you. You were taught to be a good person, to clean up after yourself. Did that result in you feeling like a good person? Probably not. Did you learn to feel guilt when you didn’t clean up? Probably. Did you resent being told what to do? Most likely. Now as an adult you act out of guilt and resentment when you must clean up. Instead of facing this inner anger and judgment, along comes this young whippersnapper on whom you can project all of this. The child may not be carrying the guilt or having a thought about what they should do unless you have been successful in drumming it into her. Maybe she is stronger than you and your parents’ games don’t work with her. Instead of passing your guilt on to her you could realize that each moment of each day you are carrying thoughts about what you should be doing to be a good person. What should you do? What does God want you to do? When you were small your parents represented God for you. They taught you right and wrong, good and bad – providing punishments and rewards. That was your first church.

You have the opportunity to notice that you have been forcing yourself to do what you don’t want to do. Ego mind screams out, “Yeah! But if I don’t do it the house will be a total mess!” Maybe. So what? Ego mind says there is probably a special circle in hell for bad housekeepers. Is that really true? Does God only take back home those with clean houses? What is actually going on here? What is really true? Recalling that God is unconditional love and acceptance, there are no rewards or punishments, no heaven or hell. You never left; it is only the ego mind that believes that what goes on here is of any consequence. So back to now. Do you clean or not clean? Perhaps you wait until you feel like doing it. Perhaps your standards of cleanliness go through a transition. Perhaps you start listening more to what the inner guidance and the body tell you instead of marching to the orders of the guilt driven ego mind. Without a sense of compulsion there may be a joy in the act of cleaning. Perhaps in the now there is exhaustion, so go relax. Above all, thank your daughter for putting you in touch with your guilt and denial. Always thank your mirrors…at least silently.

The root of all the fear, guilt, and blame is in the belief in separation. The truth is that there is Oneness. You are One with the Divine and with each other. What another is doing is what you are doing. It is all connected. In the perfection of what is happening right now in each moment, everything is unfolding exactly as it should. The script, as we said in the last message, has already been written. If you accept what is without resistance, it opens you up to the truth of your Divinity, to your Oneness with the Creator and the creation. Can you begin to see the enormous value of seeing the actions of another as your projection? You are being handed the keys to the kingdom. All is within you, never outside of you. What a perfect gift your child, or whomever appears to be a challenge, is offering you with their every action. All of this requires no volition on anybody’s part. Nobody needs to have any understanding of the part they are playing. They cannot help but to serve you. You only have choice on whether you wish to be served or bothered.

It doesn’t matter if the challenge in your life appears to be somebody who is irresponsible with money, has an addiction, is trying to control you, is abusive, ignores you, doesn’t accept you for who you are, or – we could go on and on and on. It doesn’t matter if this person plays a central part in your life or you only meet them once. You have the choice to be a victim (seemingly forever) or to grasp the opportunity to let go of your imagined separation and see the gift that is being offered. As long as you hold this as being about the other there is no way out. You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. But you are blessed and loved. This is your creation and you are doing a perfect job. Accept it and live in this now. You deserve to experience the Love and Peace that is the truth of You.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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Whatever You Think, You Are Wrong | Sanhia on the Nature of Reality and Awakening

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You know it is both difficult and easy to speak out of both sides of my mouth. It is difficult because I have neither a mouth nor sides, but it is easy because I just place the words in Michael’s mouth, and he has agreed to share them without question. Any words that I use do not tell the truth so it can be helpful to state things in differing and even contrasting ways to approximate truth, to triangulate what actually is. I have been talking differently about reality in some of the more recent messages than I did in messages back several years ago. If you want to check that out for yourself click here and then click on reality for a list all the messages where the term is mentioned. Anyway, this is a good question, so let’s look more deeply into it.

Recently We have talked about reality as being what is in the now. For example, if it is raining now, that is the reality. We talk in terms of simple acceptance of what is in the now. If you have resistance to reality, if you want to change it – good luck with that. But it’s not just the weather, it’s everything. What is is. It cannot be changed. You might want to change it in the future, even the near future. That’s another matter we will deal with shortly, but reality is what is here right this moment. When one ignores it or doesn’t accept it, is upset and in opposition to it, or wants to change it there will be frustration, pain, suffering, and a sense of failure because the now cannot be altered. The reality cannot be changed. When there is resistance to the now, it makes it nearly impossible to hear your inner guidance, Spirit, or your Divine Self, because the ego mind is just too loud. This is the reality we have been referring to. It has been suggested that the more one is willing to notice what is present right now – without judging it or wishing to change it – the more one accepts the feelings triggered in this now, the more one learns to hear that quiet inner voice. We have encouraged you to do that, to take what is in the now as the perfect thing, to receive what Spirit is presenting to you to help you realize your Divine nature.

Let’s start moving out to a wider sense of reality. One step out is to say that your only function for being, for having this experience in the physical with a body is to wake up to the truth of your Divine Nature. Nothing else matters. That’s a big step from accepting the now. Nothing else matters but being awake. In this process of awakening there are different levels. The ground level is having the desire, the intention to awaken. That can only come from the ego mind. As you have likely noticed by now, the ego mind is very clever and anything but self destructive. The urge to awaken is most unlikely to make an appearance when things are going as one wishes they would. The ego only grudgingly allows a peek at this when you have become quite frustrated with the lack of delivery on ego promises. But a full awakening would mark the death of the ego. So, what proceeds to manifest in this world of duality is opposites. On one side the intention to awaken is a prerequisite. On the other hand, as long as you hold on to the intention to awaken, you cannot notice you already are awake. Awakeness is in the now; goals put your mind into the non-existent future. How do you make the shift from wanting to awaken to realizing awakeness?  At some point the synapse is crossed, you realize you are and always have been awake. You’ve just been pretending to be asleep. We could call the ego mind that pretender. However, you can have the idea that you really are awake, but that is still the ego mind running things, not a true experience. So, what happens somewhere along the line (remembering that time doesn’t really exist), through what I like to call “the grace of God”, after countless letting goes of the ego mind, is it happens. This occurrence is after intention has been released.  You know in that instant that none of this really matters, that the physical is just an illusion. If that is followed by the thought that you are awake now, say hello again to your ego mind. It doesn’t matter. It will likely happen. The truth is in your divinity. It cannot be hidden forever. More often you will find yourself noticing the now with no attachment, with no agenda, with no resistance, with welcomeness and gratitude.

As we are talking about this, because all we can do is use words and point, we could describe this as the first step of awakeness. None of this really matters. You still notice the world around you, the phenomenal world.  You are still aware of the body, the vehicle you use for this exploration and interaction with this physical illusion. There is another level of reality. It could be stated thusly, “Reality is that which never changes.” Ego mind will get hold of this and state that the now constantly changes; nothing stays the same. It will remind you that I have said, “As you are noticing the emotions, accept them, feel them, let them move about, let them be free, welcome them, and let them lead you. They will constantly change.” Ego may add that if change equates to not real, how could I say that what is in the now, including feelings are real? Now I seem to be saying the now isn’t real? And what about everything in the phenomenal world? The weather changes, plants and animals grow and then die, your physical body has and will go through enormous change from conception through birth, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, maturity, old age and death. So now am I saying that everything that is a part of the now is not real. You are understanding me completely. Anything that does or can change is not real. This becomes quite a challenge for the mind. Is there anything in the universe that does not change? If you think the earth or the sun will always be here, check out what the science says. Even if the Bible is taken literally, the universe has both beginning and end. Absolutely nothing of the physical realm is real because everything changes. What about this entity that I have referred to as “you” or you refer to as “I”, this awareness that experiences the changes in the phenomenal universe? Is it real? Whew!

The questions seem to be getting harder. Are you real? Let’s toss another one out there for you. If nothing in the physical world is real and you are the observer of these illusions – if there is nothing to observe, is there still an observer? If the world is not real, are you real? If there is nothing to observe, can you observe nothing? The closest that we can come with words in defining that which never changes might be to call it Divinity, or maybe God if you can suffer that term, or perhaps the Oneness. If you are a creation of that Whatever, made in Its own image, that too sounds like a change. Divinity simply is…always. If out of this never changing, timeless, infinite Isness you are created, then, by definition, you aren’t real either. Using the metaphor of the ocean, which is undifferentiated water; it is all ocean. A wave can emerge on its surface, but has no identity separate from the ocean. Without the ocean the wave does not exist. It may seem to have its own identity and direction, but eventually it crashes on a beach and returns to the oneness, having no further identity as a wave. Even the water that is considered to be part of the wave does not move with it; there is just this motion on the surface. Without the ocean there is no wave.

So, the ultimate reality is undifferentiated Divinity. There is no you. This reality is beyond anything the mind can comprehend. It is beyond anything the senses can be aware of. For the ego mind, such a picture triggers absolute terror. It represents not only the dissolution of the ego mind, but the dissolution of any aspect of a separated self, absolute non-existence. Oneness. No separation. Such ideas are impossible to comprehend or sense. So, after you reach the step of awareness that you are a Divine Entity, created by God in Its own image and that there is no reality in the physical realm, your awakening is not over. It has just begun. As long as there is an observer watching the illusion of physicality there remains a separation from the Oneness. The ultimate awakening, for which We have used the term ascension, is where there is no longer a sense of you observing the physical illusion. Now ascension implies a rising up, but there is no direction involved; there is nothing. There is no longer a separate observer. There is only the ocean of Oneness.

Even though there is no forward or backward, We will appear to take a step back into looking at this now. For some of you there is a great challenge in doing things like accepting the “perfection of the now.”  I will encourage you to let go of perfection as a term. Instead, keeping in mind this larger vision of reality, flow with whatever is – reminding yourself that it doesn’t matter. Perfect or imperfect, it makes no difference. Either way it’s not real. It doesn’t matter. If you are only here to realize you are already awake, whatever is happening is helping you to do that. If you are pretending to be asleep, no matter what happens you will experience pain and suffering. Whether you are trying to find perfection or imperfection you are going to suffer. In duality there cannot be one without the other. This is true of every thought you might have. It has an opposite. There is no reality in trying to explain or understand. There is only more confusion. That is why we encourage you – as you are in the process of realizing that you already are awake – to let the mind go. It’s not about learning, it’s about unlearning everything you think you know. Whatever you think, you are wrong. If you are pretending to be separate from what you observe, you are going to suffer. Beyond that, this whole unreal movie you are pretending to be a part of is already scripted. You have no choice in changing it. Your only choice is whether or not you accept it as real. You are powerless as an observer. The outcome is already known. What is occurring in the minutia of the moment doesn’t matter. We can guess that in the scope of the illusion of time as the script runs, you stop playing in the game of time. You start playing with awareness in the game of Divinity, of infinity, in the game of God. You realize that you are One with what you observe; that there is no separation. You know that nothing matters. Even if you are still playing in the game, using the vehicle you have to interact with the now, you know that it doesn’t matter. You just enjoy the ride. Or don’t enjoy the ride. Or enjoy not enjoying the ride. It doesn’t matter.

If you have the thought in the moment – and maybe it has been a long-time prayer or mantra, maybe, God forbid, you learned it from Me – “Spirit help me accept the perfection of the now” you may be enabling the ego mind to try to find something good about what is happening. This triggers the good/bad duality. In that interplay the mind usually wants to go for the positive. It doesn’t ask Spirit for help in accepting the imperfection of the now. So, the negative is denied and pushed away. Try letting go of perfection and accepting what is as what is. That is reality. Eventually it is what isn’t. That, too, is reality. You begin by accepting the reality of what is. but eventually realize there is no isness. Nothing including the observer is real. But how can you realize that if you think what is happening in your movie is real? As long as that is the case, then the separate you is real too. If you are thoroughly confused at this point, then my work is done.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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How Do I Deal with Addictions? | Sanhia on True Healing Within

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We’ve received several questions from individuals who find that dealing with addictions is a major component in their lives. Often this takes the form of having a partner and/or a parent who is an alcoholic. These people relate feelings of helplessness, being compelled to try to aid but experiencing a hopelessness that things will ever change. The first place to look, always, when it seems that another is causing you problems or you feel yourself to be the victim of their behavior, is at projection. Whatever you are seeing or judging in another is yours. It shows what you believe and judge in yourself. The ego mind will scream out, “No! It’s them, it’s not me!” Listening to the ego thoughts just continues the cycle, ensuring there will be no resolution and no change. The hopeless endlessness and futility of any attempts at solutions will persist. The cause of the challenge is never outside of you; it is always within.

Confusing cause and effect is the hallmark of the ego mind. When you accept that the addiction is yours, it becomes a whole new game. You can now ask yourself what you are addicted to. You will not likely face that if you remain attached to the belief that it is the other who is addicted. In the case of perceived alcoholism, some people are addicted to living with an alcoholic. Addiction is a patterned response when one doesn’t accept what is here now in their life. Of course, this is easily seen with alcoholics. They find life to be not acceptable. Depression or other undesirable emotions can be escaped through the consumption of alcohol. Addiction is simply avoidance; it is using some technique to not be in the now. It is an expression of wanting life to be other than it is. An awareness of the habit of rejecting what is in yourself makes it much easier to see your own addiction. You may be telling yourself that you don’t drink like your partner does, so you are not an addict. But do you reject your partner as they are, wishing them to display different behavior? That may be one of your addictions. You do not accept what is. Your mind might be asking, is it okay just to accept the drinking with no attempt to stop it? Has your disapproval, your judgment had any effect so far? Do you actually have the power to change the situation? For some of you this has gone on for decades. All your efforts have failed. What remains is the addiction to try to make a difference, to not accepting what is.

Let’s take this away from the stereotypical examples of addiction such as alcohol and drugs. Anything that you do to avoid being in and accepting the now is addictive behavior. Let’s say you are having an uncomfortable feeling. You may choose to meditate, because in your experience, meditating allows you to rise above uncomfortable emotions and go to another more peaceful place. This is addictive behavior. Though this action does not carry along with it the same health concerns that accompany drinking or drugs, it is like them in that it does not “solve” the problem. It simply avoids it for the moment. The feelings will return. The habit of choosing to escape uncomfortable feelings will continue. The relief is only temporary. You each have your addictions of choice for avoiding what you don’t want to see. Some go for walks, train or run, or eat (ice cream seems to be the recipient of much of the blame here).

What would it look like to actually face the demons in your life? To begin with it might mean to empty the mind of thoughts about the situation. Thoughts are an addiction. The need to understand is an addiction. Let go of that mental activity. You can’t stop a thought from coming into your mind, nor can you choose the next one. You can choose to not dwell on what arrives. You can stop following or acting on those thoughts. You can starve them through inattention. Where does the focus go if not to mental activity? Your awareness goes to the feeling you are wanting to escape. You probably have a label or a name for this feeling. It might be anger, envy, hopelessness, frustration, or anxiety. Let go of the definition; don’t give it a name. Don’t treat it like a thing and put it in a box. Instead ask how this emotion now expresses itself in your body. What are you feeling? Notice where in the body these sensations are felt. What are they like? Do not try to get rid of them or to have them change in a way that might be more comfortable. Even let go of any thoughts that your willingness to face the feelings will allow you to feel better.

All the preceding warnings are to help you avoid addictive behavior. The ego mind wants to choose anything rather than be with what is, so your job is simply to accept or face what is there and to experience it fully without any other agenda. As you fully experience the sensations, as you pay complete attention to them, you will notice that they change. Nothing remains constant in the now except your presence and awareness. The change that occurs is not due to your attention. Change is the natural course. Your attention simply allows you to be aware of the movement. If you try to use your mind to explain and understand or change the feeling, you lose touch with what is being felt in the now and, instead, will hold on rigidly to the previous feeling. This does not mean that the change will provide a lessening of the sensation. It might increase; it might move to other parts of your body. Again, your only task is to stay with the bodily sensation and ignore whatever your mind might try to tell you. So, you sit and listen to whatever is present in those feelings just as you might sit and listen to the birds chirping or the leaves rustling in the breeze or the scream of a siren in the distance. Those sounds are there. You can’t make them go away. You can cover your ears, but the sounds are still there. You can choose addictive behavior, but the feelings are still there. You can opt to experience the fullness of the feelings in your body without taking recourse to the addictive patterns of thinking about the discomfort. Let go of definitions and words. Find out what is truly there and allow it to exist. Let it remain as long as it wants to be there. Let it morph into whatever it will become, not because you wish it would become something else, but because that is its nature, and you are curious to see where it will lead.

Let’s return to something we touched on earlier. I can hear the silent screams coming from some of you, upset that We might call your meditation an addiction. The function of meditation is to experience and hear what is present, totally, including the guidance that is heard from your inner wisdom, from your Divine self. It is not to be used to shut out the world or to go to a euphoric place. That, again, is addictive behavior, avoidance. I am by no means discouraging you from indulging in meditation if you find it to be relaxing and enjoyable. But I ask you to be absolutely honest with yourself. What is your motivation here? Do you use it for escape? We would suggest that true meditation is letting the mind and thoughts go and being fully aware of what is transpiring in the present. There is an absolute purpose for the emotion you are feeling. The mind wants to figure out what the feeling is about. The mind is not capable of doing this. We could say that the mind’s thoughts and beliefs are responsible for triggering the feeling. How can the mind be cause and solution at the same time? It can’t. It can only continue to muddy the water. The mind cannot defeat the mind. You simply learn how to not pay attention to it. Your emotional response is likely the reaction to something the mind is holding as true. Changing thoughts is like electing new leaders. Nothing is solved. Your meditative process is to accept every feeling, all that is around you, without censure or judgment. It is not to shut out the feelings, but to amp up the reception. True meditation is not active or directive, but passive and receptive. As we talked about in previous messages, it is tuning into Divine Will, not personal will. You don’t have to change your mind; you just stop thinking. You don’t have to change your feelings. In fact you can’t, rather you pay attention to what is there. As the mind begins to stop creating poisonous lies, the body will stop reacting. In the meantime, it is good to know. There is an enormous benefit to listening to what your feeling has to say. You don’t blame the smoke alarm for the fire. Disabling it will certainly not leave you safer. Have gratefulness for your alarm system going off. Your feeling is showing that your mind is on a bender. It is not your task to figure all this out. You only listen to the feelings and allow them to lead you, rather than attempting to lead them. Follow them. They are not the problem. It would be closer to the truth to call them the solution, but the deepest truth is that there is no problem. This is a balancing energy to the confusion of the mind. Listen to these sensations and allow them to take you where they will. That ultimate place is deep within you. This is true meditation.

As you are releasing your addiction to the mind, your habit of escaping the feelings by attempting to change, ignore, or get rid of them, your mind is not simply going to wave a white flag and surrender. It might play some of the following games. It could go the route of justification through proclaiming your feelings to be good and right because anybody in your situation would be reacting as you are. If you listen to this, you have let the mind back in and withdrawn focus from the feeling sensations. Another mind game is to try and understand your feelings. Your mind will also try to defend the feelings, a close partnership with justification. You may try to make yourself feel righteous, while whoever has triggered the emotion is in the wrong. Feelings are not good and bad. They just are. Joy and ecstasy are not good feelings. Trying to hold onto “good” feelings while jettisoning “bad” feelings is another example of mind games. You will not be successful in holding those you want anymore than you are able to get rid of those you don’t like. Full awareness of your feelings speaks nothing about action or expression of the feeling sensations. Any need to express your feelings is an idea. Spontaneously something may burst forth, but that is just what is. Notice the expression and let it be a part of your now (though it will quickly recede from that stage). You may be guided to action, but no decision is involved there. You simply know and do, always then returning awareness to the present. These feelings are yours. Others have no need to know of their existence. In a similar manner to how you would not be likely to do your meditation on a busy city street with sounds of traffic and loud voices of pedestrians around you, facing your feelings is best done in a quieter setting and does not involve other people.

Let’s go full circle now and return to the initial question which dealt with the addictions of others, rather than personal addictions. When you stop projecting upon your partner or whoever the other person might be and own the addiction yourself, dealing with it as we have discussed in this message, interesting things will happen. Interesting things are always happening in the now. I want to remind you that your job is not to seek results, but to be with whatever is happening. The goal is not to end your partner’s alcoholism. All that is required is that you be present with what is happening and with whatever feelings are elicited from you. As you are staying present with these emotions, maybe you notice changes in your partner and maybe you don’t. That is not important. What is of significance is what is going on within you. Stay away from your thoughts so you can notice what is present. Whatever that might be, it is not static. The present is constantly moving. Stay with it. As you take full responsibility for yourself, you will gradually become aware that you are not responsible for your partner. As you stop judging yourself, so will you stop judging the other. As everything fully comes home to you and you accept your part in the game, noticing where your addictions lie and taking responsibility for where you do have power, one of two things will likely occur. One may be that you accept your partner as they are, whether they have stopped drinking or not, and are no longer negatively impacted and are guided to stay in the relationship. On the other hand, you may feel guided to leave the relationship, made aware that that mirror is no longer necessary. These are not right and wrong decisions, in fact they are not truly decisions but rather “knowing” that become obvious. Beyond that, no action or guidance is forever; it is for right now. Your job is always with yourself. When you listen to and take care of yourself, you are taking care of the world. When you don’t take care of yourself, you are serving no one. Be with your feelings in the now. Stop fighting what is happening and really listen to and welcome everything, rather than trying to change or improve anything. Let that awareness guide you and your relationship. That’s it!

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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