What Is the meaning of life? | Sanhia on Letting Go of the Search and Resting in Being

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Good Now!

This question brings to mind a cartoon of a sage with long flowing white hair and beard and wearing a simple robe sitting cross-legged on the top of a mountain. In the next panel a seeker has scaled the mountain and prostrates himself before the sage. The caption reads, “Oh Master! What is the meaning of life?” Perhaps in the final panel the sage kicks the seeker and he goes tumbling down. But this is a question that consumes the thoughts of many people, particularly those who consider themselves to be on a spiritual path who want to understand, “What is the meaning of life?”, “Why am I here?”, “Why is the world here?”, “Why are these events happening?”.

There is none.

There is no meaning to life. You are searching for something that does not exist. When the searcher is looking for anything, the belief is that whatever is being sought is separate from “me”. This belief in separation creates an addiction, a constant searching for something outside of the self. The attempt to understand is comparable to figuring out what gives life to an animal by killing and dissecting it. What is the meaning of life? Life is. It simply is. Life is in the animal or it is not.

This searching for meaning is all about having a story. There must be some story that lets everything make sense. That’s what made this happen and that happen, and it all eventually leads to this. We are greatly amused by writer Kurt Vonnegut’s story about how and why humanity evolved on earth. According to this tale there was a space vehicle weaving its way through the universe from the planet Tralfamadore. It broke down with the closest inhabitable planet being the earth. Some Tralfamadorians took a shuttle out from the mother ship in search of a repair part. Not only was there no part available, but the most intelligent form of life was an advanced ape. Those apes were bred and trained, eventually evolving to become homo sapiens. The Tralfamadorians continued to evolve these primitive people until after many thousands of years the race was able to industrialize and finally create the repair part for the visitors, who immediately took the part back to the mother ship, fixed it, and returned home. What is the purpose of life on earth? To allow the Tralfamadorians to return home. This makes as much sense as any of the stories that you have heard or otherwise come up with.

In the last message we talked about awakeness. Awakeness looks for no meaning. It simply lives. It is part of being. When you search for a meaning to your life, you come up with a story. For many of you it’s a sad story, though it may have its bright moments. You didn’t ask to be born. Then you were stuck with those parents who affected you in ways you are still healing from. You got sent to school for years, also with multiple side effects. And let us not forget the church indoctrination. The story goes on and on and on.  Likely some event came along that caused you to wonder if there was another way to look at life, so you began following a spiritual path, seemingly growing from one experience or teacher after another. Eventually enough things may happen down the road that you become enlightened, awakened, ascended. That’s a story. Maybe the story includes an evolution covering many lifetimes pointed towards this wonderful future happening.

But there is no story. It’s just in the mind. First of all, out of the millions of events that have happened around you in this lifetime, the mind has filtered out a relatively small number of them out of which to sculpt your story. Anything that doesn’t fit with the saga is discarded; it’s out the window. Only those happenings that reinforce your tale are held on to. As you encounter the present moment you look for how it supports your story. Events are made to fit a pattern, kind of like the “Procrustean bed” (from Greek mythology, where the bandit Procrustes would tie travelers to a bed, stretching the short and cutting the tall to make them fit). Sometimes so many things fly in the face of your story that you realize you need to modify it. But you still have a story, even if it is a new one. 

When you must have a meaning to life, even if it is a frustrated, hopeless lack of meaning that you feel stuck with, the times can prove to be quite challenging. Perhaps you can’t figure out what the purpose of something is or you wonder why God would let an event happen. As long as there is a looking at life with any kind of expectation of what should be there, there is not a full experience of life. Instead, there is a resistance, a desire to change, to mould, to form what is being experienced to match the story your mind has created.

As there is no meaning to life, there is no personal story. You do not have a story. The tale your mind has woven is not true; it is not real. It is a fabrication of your mind. You think you are controlled by what you think of as your past, by your story. But there is no past. It is just a figment of the imagination. Where is it? Can you go there? Can you find it? No, you just make up stories about it, like the politician who promises to return the country to the greatness it once experienced. Where are those wonderful years? There is no such time. There is just now. As long as you are looking somewhere else, you don’t see the present, you don’t truly experience life.

So, the beingness of life, rather than the meaningness of life, is here, but it is unobserved because the mind is focused elsewhere – either into the illusory past or an imagined future, or projecting on to the present what it believes should be there, rather than what is. A story requires a continuum of past and future. If they don’t exist, how can there be a story? This brings terror to the ego mind: no story means no ego, no me. I die without a story, without a sense of uniqueness and separation from the One. Understandably, that is terrifying. But to dedicate your life to the creation of your story, to finding meaning, to understanding can only lead to a sense of failure and frustration because it is a search for something that does not exist. You are looking for the holy grail out there somewhere. The only place to look is within. If, in looking within, you find a story, dig deeper. Keep looking. Are you absolutely beyond the shadow of a doubt certain in the truth of your story? Is any aspect of it suspect, perhaps not fully true? Keep looking. Are you certain? Are there events that don’t fit the pattern? Is projection involved? Are there non-conforming experiences that you are overlooking. Did things just happen rather than happen to you? Then return to the now and see what is here. Where is there a story in the rustling of leaves or the chirping of birds?  Where is there a story in seeing the clouds in the sky or in feeling and smelling the drops of rain falling from them? If the mind says that there is a sequence of seasons and there are reasons for movements in the weather, ask yourself how many seasons you see right now and where you should look to see the cause of the rain falling on your head. There is no story in the weather; there just is what is.

Stories bring comparisons such as, “This is the hottest summer ever”, leading to ideas like, “Maybe global warming is going to kill us all”. In the now there is no hottest or coldest, there is only the current temperature. Again, there is no story. The mind wants to make stories rather than to see what is actually present. One of the more popular forms of that is conspiracy stories. Somebody or somebodies are out to get you and other innocent victims. “There was no moon landing.” Look around you. Is there a moon landing either happening or not happening in your presence. Even in your memory has such a thing either occurred or not occurred in your sight? In fact, one of the craziest notions of the mind is the existence of something that is not present. The possibilities for what isn’t are infinite and the feelings and the body go through enormous gyrations in response to these fantasies. All for naught, all for something that does not exist, something that is not in your present. Can you do anything about the ten thousand things that are not here now? It’s questionable whether you have the power to do much of anything about what you do see here now, but the idea of affecting the imagined is pure idiocy. And you wonder why you are not at peace, why you don’t feel safe, why you wish things to be different than they are? 

I encourage you to take a deep breath and let your eyes close. Imagine that you realize there is no meaning to life. There is nothing to understand, nothing to figure out. You are now off the hook. You have no responsibility to figure out or manage anything. Sense the freedom in that. Feel the relaxation that accompanies the dropping of those burdens. If there is no meaning there is nothing you should be doing. Life just is. There is no reason for it. Nothing is asked of or demanded from you. Nothing happens to you. Things are just happening. They just are; life just is. You have spent your life trying to make meaning where there is none. Are you laughing yet? Pretty funny, isn’t it?

Are your eyes still closed? On top of this imagine that your story doesn’t exist; there is no meaning there either. There is no pattern to trace, no steps of growth. You are not coming from one place trying to get somewhere else. There is no story here. There is just here, just what is. There is not even really a now because all is in constant movement. If you try to nail down or hold on to any moment you are now trying to be somewhere else instead of with what is. It is more like floating down a stream. There is just what is, what you can sense. There is no place to try to get to and no ability to get there if there were such a place. Keep breathing. Are the shoulders feeling lighter and lighter? Nothing needs doing. Nothing to prove or justify. There is just beingness, the sounds you hear about you, the things you can see if you open your eyes, the smells. You may be asking if you can do anything then?  Is everything simply as it is and you can have no effect upon it? Does nothing matter? Well, I encourage you to try to do nothing. Of course you will do something. You have always done so. The animals and plants all do what they do. But this doing is not with a goal in mind; it is not to achieve anything. So, you will do what you do, not out of right and wrong or shouldness, not out of a story, not out of earning love or respect, not out of achieving something or reaching a goal. You will do it because in being, doing simply happens.  As a young child you were doing, doing, doing – but you had no purpose, no goals. It might be described as playing, playing, playing. This doing is not to try to get somewhere or to change things, it is simply your dialogue with life, your interaction. 

I would suggest to you that if you want to cease your search for meaning, stop building, expanding, and living in your story – and simply encounter your beingness in each moment, allowing whatever it might be to exist without trying to change it, interacting with and experiencing it – you will find that this whole question of the meaning of life will gradually dissolve or disintegrate and will cease re-entering the mind. So will it be with your personal story. In the meantime, notice that you wonder why and have these questions. Notice…and then return your focus to what is now, to your senses and feelings. Notice that in what is you no meaning and no story can be found.

Good Now!

Sanhia/Spirit

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How can I tell if I’ve awakened? | Sanhia on the Myth of “Becoming” Enlightened

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Good Now!

Most of you who open these messages have the desire to awaken, or perhaps you might say to become enlightened or to ascend, to become aware of your divinity, to let go of identification with the “I”, “me”, body, ego-self separate from the One. If you did not have that intention you would have likely unsubscribed by now (there is still time!), or at least would not be reading this message. As with all questions there are no easy answers and perhaps no answers at all, but we’ll do our best.

We could say that there are two schools of awakening theory. The first could be called the absolutists. They identify the awakening process as an on/off switch. You are either awake or you aren’t. There is no waffling back and forth, no being partially awake. Upon awakening the person that the seeker has identified as “me” is no longer there. There is nobody there trying to accomplish anything or to get anywhere. There is nobody resisting or trying to change what is. There has been no change in the personality; there is simply no longer the presence of a separate self. There is no longer any ownership of self or anything else. The absolutists state there is nothing that the seeker can do to awaken. The attempt to awaken can only be an action of the ego mind, of the separate-self trying to be something else than what it believes it is. Awakening already is – right here, right now – so you can’t make it happen. Awakening is realized by the grace of God. It is beyond personal control because there is no person there to control it. 

The second school of awakening might be called the gradualists. They acknowledge that the sudden switch turning on may happen, but not necessarily for everyone. Perhaps there is a moment of insight, of awareness that there is no you. The mind then might jump in and claim that “I am awake”, but who is “I”?  The person who claims to be awake doesn’t exist and we are thrown back into ego slumber. At best there was a moment of awakeness and then a backsliding. There may be a bit of back and forth. Some experience that there is mostly no self, but occasionally the little me pops back up, though not for long.  Even with a steadier state of awakeness there is a learning curve of how to use that tool. Now that there is awareness that there is nothing that must be done, no purpose, no plan – that there is simply isness – what is to be done in that space? The gradualists say that you learn how to be with that isness. Maybe you become a spiritual teacher, maybe not. Maybe you share your process with others and maybe you aren’t guided in that way. The gradualist school might also suggest that the experience of life, in general, becomes more pleasurable. As there is a movement toward awakening and a letting go of untruths that the mind has believed in – as one finds self being increasingly present, neither weighed down by the past nor anticipating the future – life likely becomes more peaceful, more pleasant. There may be fewer and less intense negative emotions, and daily activities likely may prove to be joyful experiences. So the gradualist might suggest that as your focus remains on the awakening process, the experience of life involves less suffering. 

Both schools would agree that if you have a picture of the awakened, enlightened self as one who is above everything, always peaceful, free of all negative emotions, perhaps just sitting cross-legged for endless hours in bliss, then you are likely part of the horde of seekers who find themselves frustrated by their inability to awaken. That is not the awakened state, for most people at any rate. The awakened you is like the asleep you, just not being a separated individual. No two awakened states will be the same. Sorry, there are no models out there. What you seek is within. The personalities and the preferences are not likely to change much. There will simply be no ownership or attachment to them. There is no way you can know what that will look like nor what that awakening might feel like. 

Let’s return to the initial question. How do you know you’ve awakened? If you are asking the question you are not likely fully realizing your awakeness now. The awakened self would have nobody there to ask such a question. That you doesn’t exist. There is the you that exists, but not the one who is the thinker, or feeler, or doer, but rather the one who is aware. There is no you who is a chooser. You are awake right now. Every one of you. You always have been; you always will be. There is no time, no past or future. There is just the now and in this moment you are awake. You are aware of what’s going on. That is awakeness. Your mind might be denying this awakeness and believing that you have to do something to arrive at such a point, but that doesn’t eradicate your awakeness. It simply means that you are unconscious of your Divine state. In what ways is this unconsciousness expressed? It is through thinking and believing that you are not alright as you are, that you need to be better. Something needs to be done; neither you nor the world are as they should be. The process of realizing your awakeness is always one of subtraction, not of addition. There is nothing you have to become, because you already are that. It’s just a matter of letting go, the subtraction. You let go of beliefs, particularly ones about what enlightenment should look like and of how you need to be different than you are. If you think you need to be more disciplined, you let that go. When you think you shouldn’t be feeling what you are feeling, you don’t hold on to it. You can’t let go of the feeling; that can’t be stopped. It is like the weather. If you don’t want the rain, you let go of that resistance. You can’t stop the rain, so let it pour. You can’t stop your anger, so let it roar. Just leave your mind out of it. There is no cause, no justification, and no reason for the anger. It simply is. Keep noticing where there is no acceptance, where there is resistance and the desire for change. Perhaps you wish to let go but the thoughts are like flypaper and keep sticking. Then you can notice that the inability to let go seems to be happening.  Apparently you don’t have the power to change, because if you could you surely would. You can just notice that inability to let go is happening, and let that be okay. Or that the inability to let go of holding on is happening and that is what is. And so on down the endless hall of mirrors. Let it be okay. Let go of changing it.

The process of noticing your awakeness is a process of simplification. If everything is fine as it is, then there are no problems. There is nothing to fix. You are off the hook. There is no responsibility. On the other hand, as long as things are seen that you think need to be changed or fixed, inside or outside of you, with other people or with yourself, it is not possible to experience your awakened self. No you exists to make those adjustments. It is like clouds separating you from the sun. Nothing is hard except the doomed attempts you make to change what is. Then it becomes impossible. There is no solution. There is no resolution. Over time some of the following characteristics may begin to appear, at least according to the gradualists. The past just disappears and isn’t really there at all. There is no focus on the future. Increasingly the focus is only on what is here now. Often the mind moves into the background and the senses are the focus of attention. When emotions rear up they may not last for long. Is there judgment about those emotions? Yes, sometimes, but it doesn’t usually last for long. There may not be lightning bolt awareness of awakening, but things are okay as they are. Awakening, actually, is not much of a focus anymore, though it might be fun to read about. 

Let’s deal with one last point. The absolutists say there is nothing to do. You will awaken when you awaken. You can’t choose when. You can’t try to make things any different than they are. If you are drawn to this voice, go for it, absolutely. Or, more correctly, don’t go for it.  You might enjoy reading books by Tony Parsons or Wayne Liquorman. For those of you who are drawn more to the gradualist school, you are probably thinking that there must be some things you can do to make a difference. We’ve already discussed this to some degree. You might enjoy reading books by Adyashanti or Fred Davis. Keep noticing where there is resistance and attempts to change things and let that go. Remember to subtract things rather than adding to them. Less trying to change, less judgment, less projection. There can be more allowing, more letting things be as they are, more acceptance of emotions. Let it be okay when you catch yourself holding insane thoughts or thinking you should be doing a better job at screening your thoughts. Notice without holding on or pushing away. Have more awareness of what is actually present. More senses, less mind. Do this when you notice your mind going on a bender. Use your other senses to notice what is really here. The focus of the mind is usually on what isn’t here. What is here is probably fine, or else you will notice a call to immediate action. Keep bringing yourself back here. Look around. Listen. Smell. Feel both with the body and with the emotions. As you are fully present, aware of what is here, you are awake. When the focus is on what is not here, you are asleep. You can always hedge your bet. If taking actions is, as the absolutists suggest, of no value, if you have no ability to affect what will happen, you have nothing to lose by acting. It can neither harm nor help. On the other hand, as the gradualists suggest, you might just be inching your way home. At the very least, your enjoyment of life may be greater. Remember always that you are awake.

Good Now!

Sanhia/Spirit

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Is This My Will or God’s Will? | How to Differentiate Personal and Divine Will

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(transcript from a recent session)

Good Now!

Participant: I have two questions that are essential for me. One is about my knee and the difficulties of walking, as well as some other annoying health problems. There is a lot of fear and guilt around this.  How can I deal with this discomfort? Is there a lesson for me to learn? The second question concerns the noticing that I easily feel unloved, abandoned, or betrayed. It’s like I’m not sure I’m worthy of love and want to get affirmation from others. This feels out of balance and it is painful. I am trying to accept the will of God and let go of my personal will, but how do I know for sure which is which or understand the reason for God’s will being as it is?

So, there is some confusion in the mind about personal will and the Will of God. 

Participant: Yes. there certainly is.

We could put it in this way. We could say that the personal will is focusing the energy on things that are not truly desired.

Participant: It’s like I don’t know my own best.

For example, do you wish to have difficulty with your knee?

Participant: No

So, the situation with the knee is a focus on something you don’t want. That is an expression of personal will. The same with the other physical characteristics you have mentioned.

Participant: When you say it like that, I can get it at once.

The focus on the Divine would go something like this, “My body is perfect; everything is happening as it should.” Then, you let it happen. The personal will comes in and expresses concern with what is. It thinks it should feel differently in your knee. It worries that you should do something: training more or in different ways, applying salves, or taking supplements. None of these possible actions are motivated by love. They are not based in passion, but rather in fear. This is always the case with the personal will. For some, training is a passion. Be honest with yourself. Is that true for you here?

 Participant: There is a confusion in me. I don’t feel a passion to train in that way, though some of it I do enjoy.

Then let there be a clarity that you are doing things out of the joy of doing them, not to heal yourself. Do you passionately want to not be whole, to require healing? No, those thoughts come from the personal will. 

Participant: I can feel that. At the same time there is an enormous abyss there. 

Come back to the question of what you truly want without any reservations, without any guilt or shoulds. Do you desire to need healing or do you wish to know you are whole? What is it that you truly want? That is the Divine Will.

Participant: I spend a lot of time investigating the pain of my stories. If that is the will of God, I just want to accept it. I can stop trying to understand; I just need to know this is the will of God. I want to come to that point. But how to do this daily? Sometimes the physical sensations are so strong, and then my ego kicks in. It feels like a healing war.

Let’s go back to ground zero. Your expression suggests that you hold the Will of God to sometimes include “lessons” that will be good for you to learn. Let’s look at things from a different perspective. There is only one will. It is yours, the Divine You. You create everything in your experience through this mental activity. You have always done that. Many of these thoughts are based on beliefs that are not self-serving, such as not being deserving of love or being a victim to things from the outside that bring injury or sickness to the body. When you believe these things, because you are all powerful, such happenings are drawn to you. So, the first order of business is to stop holding thoughts that you are not passionate about manifesting. However, thoughts you have previously held are still doing their work. In reaction to their realization you are likely to experience what are called negative emotions. You cannot go backward and un-think those thoughts, but you can accept the feelings and sensations that they trigger and let them be there. This is not the “Will of God” acting on you, it is your “personal will” reaping what it has sown. It is not real; it is not forever. Let it be present – you have no choice as it is here. Eventually as you stop holding self-destructive thoughts, your experience will change. In order to have the power to choose your passion, you must also have the power to choose your poison. When you have had enough of that, you will let go of your addiction to pain. Again, there is only the Will of God. It is a question of what you are choosing. Any place you hold victimhood, you will continue to feel its effects. What is present is fully your creation, coming from the beliefs you hold. Don’t fight that, just decide to choose differently from this day forward. You will likely backslide, but stay with it. That’s what you do every day. Thoughts of being unlovable or needing to control the world to be safe do not come from love and passion. Love yourself with every thought. Worry does not come from passion. The Divine Will does not want to be healed, it wants to be certain of its wholeness. Would you rather see yourself as whole or broken? What does Divinity choose?

Participant: I need help. There is a part of me that doesn’t have that trust. I feel what you are saying, but how am I to fully step out there?

The power here is in how you choose to use the mind. You can use the mind to support the ego or you can use the mind to support Divinity. 

Participant: I want to support the Will of God but at the same time there is an area where I am not aware of what my mind is doing. 

Then, be aware. What is stopping you from being aware? 

Participant: It’s an enormous habit; it’s like being hypnotized. 

It is really very simple. If you are not feeling the Oneness, the Love of God, the Peace – you know the mind is holding on to something that is not true, creating a separation from the truth of your Divinity. It cannot be any other way. 

Participant: When you say that I can see that there is a belief in the body. When the knee does not feel as I think it should, then I think there is something wrong. That is where I am stuck. I really need help with this.

You can always begin by taking a deep breath and letting everything flow through you. Whatever is going on with the body that is not desired, that feels painful or fearful, is the creation of the ego mind. Know that behind all of this is a belief the ego mind is holding on to. Notice what your belief is and ask yourself in your heart of hearts if this is what you want your reality to be. 

Participant: So are you saying I just need to let it go? 

Let it go and know there is nothing to understand, nothing to figure out. The only question is what in your Divine Will do you truly want here. Let me give an example of how this might work. Let’s say that a person says that their will is to be taken care of financially. So, they decide to train to be a teacher, get a job, and work hard to maintain the position, and create the financial security they desire. This person is not being honest to their true will. It might not be in their heart to do that training, certainly not every day nor all aspects of it. They probably don’t truly wish to work as many hours nor as hard as they are asked to. There are likely some requirements of the job they dread facing. With all of those sacrifices, the job probably doesn’t pay enough – there are unmet desires. The security lasts only as long as they are able to keep the job. Changes in the market, or in personal health could put the job in jeopardy. If they are fully honest with themselves, they will go directly for what the Will of God is rather than thinking that the ego has to create and sacrifice in order to get there. Going directly there is focusing on the thought that they are always taken care of. That, rather than the teaching job, is what they truly want. Any thought that they are not always taken care of, that a certain action on their part may be necessary to ensure their security is holding a belief that they do not wish to be true. This creates a world of pain and suffering. There is no way to experience total support without sacrifice as long as limiting ego beliefs are harkened to. This is following personal will instead of Divine Will.

Let’s say that the training was to become a psychotherapist. Let’s say that the desire to investigate this field is the Divine moving in you. You want to explore the depths of psychology both for yourself as well as for sharing with and providing service to others. You are not doing this to provide financial security, but because the Love within you wants to create in this way. This is following the Will of God. In this quest you may find the training to demand things you are not willing to give. Stay with your Divine Will. You may have to create a whole new system of psychotherapy; you may not fit into the existing job structures. No problem. Stay with your inner guidance. Follow your passion. You have asked to be taken care of and you will be. That is of secondary concern. What is primary is the direction you are guided to take. Stay true to that. That is the Will of God. God does not settle for less. 

Participant: I feel taken care of economically; it is with love that I feel unworthy. 

We took this off in another direction so that we could play with it, so that it went away from the personal, but let’s bring it back there. As long as you allow your mind to play limiting games – not focusing on what you truly want, which is to feel and know that you are always loved – but asking yourself what you have to do to be loved. Maybe if your hair is just right, or if you looked younger, or if you are of service to others you will feel loved. 

Participant: I can see the craziness in it with your help.

Maybe the thought comes that if you can control the thoughts, actions, and energy of those around you so they will do as you wish them to, you will feel loved. You can always tell when it is the ego mind going; there is something in the middle. Instead of going directly for what you want, you create intermediary steps of things you believe you have to do to create what you want. None of these things are what you truly want. You have no true passion for doing them. Not only are these actions not what you truly wish for, they stand in the way of your realization of that Divine Will.

Participant: This morning I was paying attention to the energy in my knee and the pain didn’t scare me away, I didn’t experience it as pain. Then I began to question how I could know that I am right. Can I just feel the energy without taking corrective measures? The authorities tell me it is all about training. I am totally confused.

Don’t give your power, which is your Divine Right, away to anyone – including to Sanhia. You have a physical therapist whom you like and, you believe, is doing the best that she can, but does she listen to her Divine voice? Does she know that God always takes care of her, that everything is taken care of, that she has no need for a job in order to be supported, that she could wake each morning and ask herself what her Divine Will wishes to do with this day – what wants to express in this moment, what wants to happen? Would she be driving around from home to home as she does? Perhaps, but five days a week? This is not about her not trying to do the best that she can. It is about you giving your power away, and at that to one who has likely not claimed her own power. The advice comes from a belief that you are responsible for taking care of yourself. 

Participant: And that you have to fight the body.

So you can think, “Thank you for sharing”, and then follow your own Divine Guidance about what you are inspired to do. Maybe some of her suggestions sound like fun. Do it out of the joy of doing it, not because you are broken and need to be fixed. 

Participant: I see that I have fear around following the Will of God. I make God a part of the feeling that I have to do the training. It is like a war.

Have you made God your projection? You have a choice to make. You can listen to this ego voice that fears God and fears the Will of God, and tells you that you have to take responsibility, that you are broken and need healing, and spend eternity, like Sisyphus, pushing that rock up the hill, only to have it roll back down and having to start over and over again until you get so tired of it all that you decide to just kill off this body…

Participant: Let it kill itself?

No, you do the deed. You say you don’t want to do this anymore, that you are tired of it all. It’s too much; it’s too overwhelming. You don’t want to play this game anymore. Even at this point there are two choices. You can give it to God. What have you got to lose? You are going to die anyway. Or, your body dies because it is still too fearful to surrender to the Will of God. “Stop the world, I want to get off”.

Participant: No, I am not there. I don’t make the decision that I want to die now.

Most people make that decision unconsciously. Nor did you consciously make the decision to have a chronic problem with your knee. This makes it no less your creation. If there is a belief in victimhood, crazy things will happen.

Participant: Is God’s Will also my creation?

This, of course, is the second choice. There is no separation here. God’s Will and your will are one. The former comes from your love and passion while the latter comes from your fear and belief in separation. It is all your creation. The personal will does not represent what you want, however. We could say that your Divine Will back in your twenties was to know that you are loved unconditionally. Your ego mind did not believe that you deserved love. It whispered in your ear that you would be loved if you were a great mime/acrobat. Thus your passion for expressing through this art form became confused with a limiting belief. You could have manifested a successful career that left you still feeling unloved. Perhaps the passion to feel loved was stronger and losing the career made it more likely that you would come to love yourself. It is not important to understand just how things are working, only to realize that your thoughts are all powerful, so having an awareness of them can only support you in realizing your Divine Nature. Again, if you want to know you are loved unconditionally, go straight for that. Forget the diversions. If you have to do anything to earn the love, it is not unconditional; if you are judging yourself (or your mirrors), the love is conditional. Be aware. Go for the love. Totally. Conditional love is always saying, “Prove it to me”. Am I lovable even with this knee? The Divine desire is knowing that you are whole, not that you need and desire healing. The right use of the mind is to only focus on God’s Will, noticing when you are holding on to the separate will, and asking self what the hell you are doing? Why choose to create what isn’t truly desired? Everything is coming into your experience to lead you to what you truly want. That is a reason for not resisting what comes. You have asked for it, so take a good look at what you have asked for and notice how it doesn’t match your true desire. Let go of that type of thinking, that kind of request. Go only for the gold. 

Participant: Thank you.

Good Now!

Sanhia/Spirit

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Can you talk more about the personal self not existing? Part 2 | Sanhia on Letting Go of “Me”

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Participant: I see what a furious energy it is.

And you notice how well that has worked for you.

Participant: No, it hasn’t worked well. I’m punishing myself. 

Back to this word of “confusion”: to make it very simple, wherever there is confusion, or the experience or the illusion of confusion, it is where there is the belief that there is a separate you. And, simply, be aware that that’s what’s going on. When you are experiencing a separate you, you are not in the now; you are somewhere in the mind, holding on to an illusion that isn’t true. Be constantly aware of that. Simplicity is: there is just now and there is no you. So, notice when you are making it confusing and you are believing that there is a separate you. Notice it. You can’t make yourself change, because there is no you there to force that to happen. There is no mind that could choose that. There is simply the awareness of, “Ooh! Craziness at work.” Kind of like the signs at the side of the road, “Men at work ahead.” You know you could put a sign out in front of yourself, “Craziness at work.” (laughing) And you simply notice that, “Oh, craziness is at work here.” And then what can you do? You can ask yourself the question, “But who is noticing this?” Yes, there is this thinking, this believing that there is this separate character, this separate me, separate from God. At the same time there is experiencing going on. There is awareness going on. Where does that awareness sit? Is the one who is experiencing fear and pain also the one who is aware of the experiencing of fear and pain? Who is aware of this? Where is this awareness taking place? 

Participant: The awareness is the Oneness, the experience that there is no separation, that can come now and then.

There is a differentiation between the thought, “There is no separation,” and the experience of Oneness. So if the thought is there, “Oh, there is no separation”, who is aware of that? Where is that awareness? There is still a step back. It is like the exercise you were given in the book today, “Remember back to a time between five and ten years old that is a very wonderful experience in your memory. It’s so wonderful that you can still pull it up, and if you pull it up what you experience is an absolute Oneness with what is happening – no thought about how it should be or how it could be better or why it’s happening – just a joy and an amazement at what’s there. Even for the word pain to occur there has to be duality. 

Participant: So you say that pain is really when you resist….

The mind says that there’s pain and there’s not pain, so there is a comparison. So, it is not what I am experiencing now; It’s what I am experiencing now compared to what I experienced at another time and saying, “Oh, I prefer the other time”. I have said this before, but I’ll say it again. You have the story shown to you where Jesus appears to be tortured on the cross. But there can only be pain there if Jesus is comparing it to another time. If it is just what is; it is what is. There just is this now, nothing to compare it to, nothing better or worse, just this.

Participant: So help me to open up that reality. 

One pointer in that is remembering to turn off your mind, to not follow it, to simply be with what is there. And let it be what it is without resistance, without the thought of changing it – that it should be something else – to let it be what it is, to accept it as the gift of God that it is. Perfection that defies understanding, that goes beyond. The mind comes in, wants to bargain, “Okay God, I can accept this pain if you can tell me why it’s here,” making deals, not accepting.

Participant: This urge to understand... 

Is a desire to control.

Participant: There we have this controlling bitch again (laughing).

If I can understand how God’s working, (laughing) then I can do God’s job. I don’t need God. 

Participant: There is the Oneness. Yeah, and then it isn’t me or God; it is just the will of God. There was a little Ulla thinking she was separated.

But there is no little Ulla. 

Participant: But I guess it’s just something that comes when it comes because as soon as I want to do it, then I’m lost.

You can have that intention to notice when resistance to the now is active, when little Ulla is active, so that you don’t continue in an unconscious repetitive fashion.

Participant: I can really feel how nailed this is…with little Ulla, and try to be somebody in this world, try to get some love. It’s scary to let go of that. It’s like a survival thing. 

Except for one thing, it’s not survival – it’s suicide.

Participant: What a great misunderstanding (laughing).

Where it might start to stop is when there is an awareness of how suicidal it is, how guaranteed it is to bring pain and failure. And you say, “Well it’s scary to let go of, but if I hold onto it there is certainty. I’m going to suffer and have pain.” And when you realize the absolute certainty of continuing on that course, then surrendering to another course that offers the possibility that maybe something different can happen becomes easier. 

Participant: The feeling I can have is…there is nothing else to lose. 

Or to say, “Nothing to lose but your chains.” 

Participant: That’s scary enough to take them off. That is the surrender to the will of God.

When there is the realization that every negative emotion you feel is the result of your choosing separation from God, every one of them comes from choosing that there’s a you, a little you, separate from God. How long are you going to choose when you know beyond a doubt that it is your choice to resist the Divine of what’s being brought, and to hold yourself separate, and to believe that you are supposed to pick and choose, and that there is right and wrong and good and bad, and it has to happen the way your mind says. That that is a prison, creates pain in your body – every body – your emotional body, psychological body, your physical body. When you notice that, how long are you going to continue to choose that? For some time; it is habit. 

Participant: I wish it to stop now.

When your eyes are open and say, “Oh, but this has been my choice.” So every time, EVERY TIME, there is a projection on anyone, you are sending pain and imprisonment to yourself. Every time. No exception. 

Participant: Can the prayer of, “Help me to surrender to the will of God” break that?

“Help me realize there is no me.” As long as there is a you, there is a separate will. 

Participant: To surrender to the will of God is to let go of my separate will. 

But it is to let go of the separate self. 

Participant: What is the difference here?

If there is no separate self, then there is no will but God’s Will. As long as there is a separate self, there is a separate will. 

Participant: So this prayer comes from the separate will?

If you are saying, “Help me”, who is me? Every prayer comes from separation. Why would you ask God to bring you the perfect thing when God always does that? “Oh God, please let there be air today.” It is not your job or possibility to choose anything, to be responsible for anything. (soft crying) You are just here to play in the garden with what is there, with what is presented in the now. If it is not part of the now, it doesn’t exist. It’s not here. Everything that could come into the mind that’s part of the now is connected to the little you that doesn’t exist because if you really look at whatever feels hard, heavy, weighty, confusing, emotionally disturbing – in this now – it’s not happening in this now. Maybe one percent of it. It’s simply a recognition of that. “Is this happening now?” No. “What is happening now?” Hmmm. And when there are these what you would call “negative emotions”, they are always connected with something that is not now. You may be conscious of those thoughts right now, in which case you can look at them and say, “But is that happening now; is that part of the now? What’s here in the now?” But maybe the feeling is there and the mind has no idea where it is coming from. Then let the feeling be there. 

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Can you talk more about the personal self not existing? Part 1 | Sanhia on Waking Up from the Story of You

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The ego mind has its own definition of perfection, and it only, occasionally, accidentally bumps up against the perfection that is. Part of that picture of perfection often is that the ego mind fully understands what is going on. But the ego mind never understands what is going on. It can’t because it is insane. It feels that it is real and it thinks that you are separate from the One. And it feels it has a mind of its own that should be listened to. Einstein once said, “The mind that created the problem is incapable of creating the solution”. You can rest easily with not understanding. Understanding is the function of the ego mind. Knowing is the function of Spirit. So, when you know, it is beyond understanding. There is no explaining why you know or what you know; you just know. There is certainty. That is why when you follow the will of God there is no choice. You just know. If you think there is choice, then you are in the ego mind trying to figure it out. And, as I like to say, good luck with that, because it doesn’t matter what you choose. We’ll talk more about these experiences of noticing, being what you think of as you, but noticing. What kind of experiences? And so you find that the world doesn’t disappear if you wait and don’t make a decision. What is important? If there is fear in the now, then that is what’s in the now. That is the gift. But it is not something to be overcome. 

Participant: Coming up distrust. Sometimes it is painful and I can feel it is so hard not to project it. I can see when I project. It is like abandoning myself. Even though I see all of this it’s really hard to let it go. There is some ego voice that is so angry, or very loud. So it’s really a roller coaster. And there is another thing that is very important, that’s about my karmic eight. What an enormous ego power it has. How my impulse is really driven by this controlling bitch. That is also an important insight. 

The place that we want to come back to is this place where there is no you. If there is no you, then there are no stories. Then there is no karmic eight. That’s a story. You can deal with all of the stories. You have found in another discipline that you could deal with your feelings and deal with your feelings, and the bucket is bottomless. You never reach the end of it. There is always another feeling. There is always something else. If there is fear it works better to accept it than to resist it. But, who is having this fear? As long as you believe there is a you who has fear, you will have fear. But there is no you having this fear. That is the illusion. Go. You look and notice that there is something noticing the story; whatever it might be, that is not the story. It’s simply noticing the story. No different than if you are watching a film on the television. You are noticing that story but you are not the story. So the question continually is, “Who is noticing this?”, and, “Where is this noticer?”  If you keep looking at that and looking at that, if you think you have found the noticer, “Who is noticing the noticer you have found?”  There is a step back and a step back, but there is no forwards and backwards so we are just saying that in a metaphorical sense that there is a step back until there is simply noticing. No noticer, simply noticing. 

Participant: What does that mean? The difference?

When you are watching a film, say on the television, you are noticing. First of all, you are noticing it is all projected on the screen. It’s not real; it’s not happening in your living room. You are simply noticing a projection on the screen. Where there is a character on the screen, you are noticing the character but you are not saying that’s me. But in the screen that you call your life, you are pretending that the character that you call “you” on the screen is real. But it’s not. It’s an actor that you are watching. You can practice when you’re watching the television screen and notice where you project yourself into any of the characters – either through thinking, “Oh, they are a good character”, or “Oh, they are a bad character”, or “Oh, they shouldn’t do that”, or “What are they thinking?”, and so on. Notice that there is projection going on. It’s not real. You turn it off and everything is gone. Nothing is there. Or you can turn it back on and watch the same episode over and over and over. Does it change? It’s just a projection on a screen. So you can practice with that and notice where you are giving reality to what is on the screen. 

Participant: Now when I have experienced so much physical pain it feels so real because you can’t get away from it, or you can take a painkiller but then everything is gone. 

Now you are projecting on your screen. Is there pain present in the now? 

Participant: That is a memory I am talking about. 

But that is what I am talking about. A memory is not the now. It’s not real. It’s not happening. 

Participant: I couldn’t handle that in that way when it was there. And that’s why I bring it up – to get some guidance around it. 

In the now there may be an experience and your mind might label that experience pain. When it labels pain and names it, then it moves out of the now and allows all of the stories of pain that the mind is holding on to, to be experienced in the now. Not simply what is in the now, but the whole idea of pain and everything around it. For example, a thought comes in, “Aw (breathes deeply), what if the pain keeps getting worse and worse?” “What if it gets to a point where I absolutely can’t stand it?” “What if it never stops?” “What is the meaning of this? Is this a punishment for me?” “What have I done?!” “What’s the lesson I’m supposed to learn? What’s the message? Spirit tell me what’s the message! Why am I having this pain?” The mind goes into all of this craziness that has nothing to do with the now. It’s going off in all of these directions instead of simply noticing the sensation, which is not pain. Pain is a word. You don’t experience a word. So you experience something in the body. So you go into it and you just experience nothing but that; let the mind go. Doesn’t matter what it’s about, where it came from, why it’s there, how long – it’s just what is here right now. And so you say, “Thank you Spirit; this is what is here right now”. And you experience it. And if the mind goes a little bit nuts and it’s more than you can tolerate, then take a painkiller. (laughter). There is no right or wrong about it. And then the next time the sensation comes, it’s a new experience. It’s a new now. But you are with the feeling, not with the thought of the feeling, not with the label of the feeling, but just the feeling. I want you to notice the resistance you have to simply letting it be there. 

Participant: Yeah. I see that. 

And so, for example, you project that.

Participant: Yeah, I have noticed that. And it’s one thing to notice it, but it’s not so easy to stop it. 

Yes, but noticing comes first. If you don’t notice it, it goes on forever. And the second thing you do – you can’t stop these thoughts from coming up but you say, “Ooh, but I’m not going to act on that now. Just going to notice that it’s there.”  

Participant: Then I get a little bit shamed about, “I’m so bad I can’t deal with this”, and so there is judgment on myself and…

It’s all the same thing. Judgment is not of the now. Judgment is comparison to what the mind thinks should be there. And the mind’s crazy. 

Participant: There is this fear of letting it go because then there is this abyss. That is so scary. (laughs) Scares the shit out of me. 

So where is this abyss? 

Participant: Yeah. (laughs) Where is the fear? From where does it come? If I accept it then it just takes over. So that is why there is some fighting against it. 

It already has taken over. (laughter) You’ve been letting it take over, empowering it all of your life. They say that the horse is already out of the barn. The thought of the mind always is dual. There is good and there is bad. Only the good is of God; the bad is not. And of course where you fit in, the you you think of as you, you’re on the bad side. 

Participant: I am? (laughs) 

Always. Trying to be good. “God look at how good I’m being. I’m so good.” But you believe that you’re bad. So what? Punishment? Sickness? “Guilt, fear, all these punishments that come to me because I’m bad.” “But I’m trying to be good. Tell me what I should learn here, God.”  (laughter) And all we’re saying is there’s no good or bad here. Whatever God brings is from God. There are no good gifts from God and bad gifts from God. It’s all Divine. The mind says, “Where is the love?” The truth says, “It’s all love. That’s all there is.” The mind says, “How can I feel loved?” The truth says, “You are love.” But the mind that sees a you as real, separate from God, then sees you as not love, because God is love and you are separate from god, therefore you are not love. 

Participant: Damned if I do and damned if I don’t. 

Loved if you do and loved if you don’t. 

Participant: (laughing) I think I’ll choose that. Is it possible to choose that? Who is choosing?

You’re choosing damned if you do and damned if you don’t, because as long as it’s you choosing, you are choosing separate from God. So no matter what you choose, you are choosing separation. But the truth is…not real. You’re not separate. And the pain is just on the screen. It’s not real. The part of you that believes there is a separate you also believes that pain is probably a good thing; because if you suffer enough, God will take you home. And if you stop suffering you are lost in hell forever. 

Participant: It’s a lot of confusion.

It’s only the mind that creates confusion. There is no confusion, It’s very, very simple. Whatever is here is from God and is Love. If you want to resist and fight it, that’s when it gets confusing. You simply silence what is. How crazy would it be to try to change what is; it already is.

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Why do you refer to God as He? | Sanhia on Beyond Masculine and Feminine

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A good place to begin is to remind you that words do not and cannot express or tell the truth. At best they are pointers. As the poet said, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet”. So, how do we even begin to speak about What is sometimes called God? Well, We will begin by addressing the question. There is no gender in the Divine, in the Oneness. Masculine and femininity are part of duality, belonging to the illusion. In Divinity there is no he-ness or she-ness. To talk about God, we are left to deal with the language as it is.

Here’s a little story which some of you might be familiar with if you have been reading these messages for a long time. At one time the closing that was used read “Goddess Bless You”. This was a fine mind game, playing around with the gender identification that the mass consciousness holds for the One. If some minds were thrown for loops, We are all for such accomplishments. Goddess is no more an expression of truth than is God.  When we changed the closing to “God Blesses You”, as you can see, there was also a change in verb form, replacing the common request or wish with a statement of what is. Everything is always blessed by God. Over time that gave way to “Good Now”, which is doubly fun. Not only is it an encouragement to honor the present moment, but it also is a great greeting in this digital world, where people are experiencing all different times of the day when communicating with each other. Good morning just doesn’t cut it if it is evening for another. There was also a method in the madness of choosing God as the new moniker. We were also playing some mind games here. Many people have an identification with a male God and it brings fearful pictures for them, such as the vengeful, wrathful Old Testament God. Hearing the masculine pronoun attached to the Divinity We were speaking of triggers confusion and reactions for some people. It is their own projection on God that requires some investigation.

One final visit to old motivations for gender use. Most readers pictured Sanhia as a male form. This partly came from the male-body channel and from some of the past life stories that were in circulation. In truth I am also possessing no gender, and am, in fact, not even Sanhia. That’s just a name, like God. I allowed these illusions to fester uncontested because they allowed a game to be played. The great majority of those meeting with Us or reading the messages were attached to female bodies. They often feared and gave away their power to masculine energy. My teaching was that the feminine always leads the masculine. Notice this does not say the female always leads the male. The feminine energy is intuitive, going inside for guidance. The masculine energy is mental and active. You can see the folly in allowing action to take place without guidance.  So the fun game was that these women gave power to the perceived masculinity, and We used that power to encourage them to take their own power, to trust and follow their own guidance. We never told anybody what to do, only encouraged them to follow their own guidance.

All games have their time and now it is time to move on. It doesn’t matter what you call this Divine Isness. You can call it the Oneness, Divine Presence, Divine Absence, Everything, Nothing, Brahman, Atman, or Allah. It makes no difference because the name neither defines it nor tells what it is. We can understand that an individual could have a problem with a significant term because of past associations with that word. If you are plugged in by the term “God”, feel free to choose an unloaded term or you can use that term and deal with what comes up for you emotionally and in your body. It makes no difference. We are inspired by this month’s question to drop the gender issue altogether. For the present we will change our reference to the Divinity previously known as God to IT. That’s IT! You, of course, are welcome to continue using whatever term catches your fancy.

We have more to say about this. One thing that comes up for most people on the spiritual path as they talk about IT is that they consider themselves to be separate from IT. They want to learn how to have the experience of being One with IT or perhaps be able to surrender to the Will of IT or there may be a desire to feel loved and accepted, forgiven and not judged by IT. There may be some fear of IT. Perhaps the dropping of the masculine identity will reduce this fear, but maybe it doesn’t. Again it is likely as you are reading this that you feel separate from IT and the idea of being One with IT seems beyond the realm of possibility. Actually, it is the only possibility. You are IT. Separation from IT is impossible. If everything comes from IT, how could IT stand separate? How could that be possible?  We ask you to look and see who it is that notices you. If you is your body, your story and history, your plans and goals, your accomplishments and failures, who is it that is noticing this you? Perhaps your response is, “It is me noticing me”. Can a light shine upon itself? Is that possible? The Isness is noticing. The Isness is aware. There is no you doing this. This is the one and only lesson there is. There is no you there to do anything; there is only the awareness of doing happening. As I say this I wish to remind you again that this is not the truth. There is nothing here that the mind can ever understand. The mind that creates the problem, the belief that there is a separate you that chooses and is responsible, cannot grasp the solution. Belief comes from the mind. It comes from separation. Knowing has nothing to do with belief. You don’t believe that the sun is rising. It is rising. You can neither cause it nor stop it. You are. There is nothing that can be done about that. You did not bring your awareness into existence and you cannot stop it.

One thing you can try is to take a step back. Look at this self that you thought of as you. Watch it acting. Notice that what is watching is not what is acting. See if you can tell where this noticer is watching from. Where does it sit? Is it within the body? If, so where is it located? Can you go there? Can you truly find where this awareness lies? If it feels like it is outside the body, can you go to the place where it is? Try this until you realize that it is not in the body but it is also in no particular place in space. Space, like time, is not real. It is just the screen upon which this life story is projected. You are the watcher of this movie, not the actor. If you think you are the actor, take a step back. Who is watching the actor? Step back as often and as far as is needed until you realize that the watcher simply is, without a body nor a place. Maybe you step back so far, that like in the cartoon, you fall back into the abyss. Who knows how and when the letting go of the personal self will occur. This is not about understanding. It is only about noticing. All comes from IT, as your awareness comes from IT. IT observes life. IT is life. Life lives you. The physical is simply here and events simply seem to occur in time. There is no volition involved. You, the actor, have no choice. Things simply happen. The Divine truth of you is simultaneously observing and participating. The participation will happen in a smooth, connected way unless the mind thinks it is supposed to somehow change what is.

Participant: With this being feeling like a separate entity, as most humans identify themselves, it is not so easy to understand. Also, because we have made God to be so separate from us, is there some way to make it easier to come into contact with this Divine Energy or this Oneness that we are?

You began by saying that it is difficult to understand this. I would say that you are understating the situation. It is impossible to understand this. Can you understand the taste of a strawberry? Can you explain to another who has not tasted a strawberry what that experience is like? The only way one can know what the taste of a strawberry is would be to taste one. Then, whether you have no desire to ever taste another or you want many more strawberries, you know what the taste is like. Are you now able to explain that taste to another? Can you even put it into words for yourself? Can the truth of the taste of a strawberry ever be communicated or understood? Can you ever understand the truth of who the physical you is, why you are here, or what you are supposed to do? In parallel, can you explain or understand the awareness that notices what is going on in the space about you? It is absolutely impossible. All that can be done is to experience it. Take a taste and see what is there. You can notice and pay attention. The attempts at understanding will be fruitless and will merely pull you away from the experiencing. If you have the direct experience that there is no personal you, there is simply awareness and beingness – how would or could you explain that to yourself or another?

Participant: There is something that comes up in me when I hear this. There is a recognition.

A recognition of…?

Participant: Who I am, of Oneness and that enormous Love. It’s like I’ve had an experience that has left a recognition in me. I don’t know exactly what it is but as you talk I can recognize it. Yes, it might be like that. 

If you were to explain what this experience is like to another listening to this conversation, what would you say?

Participant: I don’t know. Maybe it’s like the strawberry in my mouth would taste a certain way but for another it might be experienced or described in a different way. 

That may well be true, but can you even describe how it is in your mouth? Are there words that would give another that direct experience so that they would know exactly what it would be like?

Participant: I don’t think you can get it from outside;, it is an inner experience.

How would you explain color to a blind person? Is that possible to do? And, as you inferred with the strawberries, does another even see the same “green” that you see? If you see a line-up of TVs in a store, no two show exactly the same green. Which one is the true green? Maybe what another sees as “green” you would call “red”. It seems like a crazy thought, but how could you ever know?

Participant: I don’t know. I don’t think I could ever know that.

So all that matters is your experience of “green” in the now or of the taste of the strawberry. There is no truth here, only experience. All of that is One with IT. All emanates from IT and is IT, is a manifestation of IT, is an expression of IT. Also as an expression of IT is the little you we could call it. In actuality, there is no it, just IT watching, breathing life and light into it.

Participant: When you say all of this, it seems that everybody has their individual experience of the now. It seems that you can just experience it yourself.

It is not you experiencing life, it is Life or IT experiencing you. The actual experiencer is IT; you are just the entertainment on the screen. What is of interest is that the experience of IT that you are aware of comes from a unique perspective. Nobody else is watching the same movie, but all movies are interconnected. You cannot watch someone else’s movie any more than they can watch yours. Any attempt to understand this or to know why this is so can only lead you away from the experience and the awareness of it and into confusion and suffering. The movie is Divine, perfect as it is, meant to be fully experienced, a gift from IT.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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How do I deal with challenging people in my life? | Sanhia on The Power of Projection

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There is only one challenging person in your life. That, of course, is you. As long as you consider yourself to be a victim of the actions or behaviors of others, your life on planet Earth will be experienced as less than pleasant. Fortunately, victimhood is not the case. We have spoken before about the term projection. There are worse things that you could do than to print up a dozen cards with the word projection on them and post them throughout your home, car, and workplace…on every mirror, by the toilet…as a constant reminder that all you see in the world is your projection, no exceptions. The ego mind goes absolutely ballistic over this and will try incessantly to create exceptions. There are no exceptions. Cause and effect. You are the cause and the world is the effect. Never the reverse.

So, as they like to say in new age circles, there are no challenges or problems, there are only opportunities. These challenges with other people, which are your own creation, are opportunities for you to free yourself from judgment and separation. Or…you can go on pretending that it’s all about other people…and suffer. It’s your call. We don’t have a horse in this race. As a review, this is how projection works. Your ego mind, which thinks it knows everything or at least can figure everything out, knows nothing and can’t figure out anything. It believes you are this body, but you’re not. It thinks you are separate from God and Divinity, but you’re not. If we present this in the form of a story, keeping in mind that no story is true, it might go something like this. The ego believes that it chose to separate from God. This is the tiny confusion from which all of your “problems” stem. The ego is in error because it is not possible to separate from God. Anyway, on with the story. Ego mind creates this body and this universe as a way and a place to hide from God. Realizing it has made a bad choice, wanting to go back home, desiring God’s forgiveness, but feeling that this attempt to kill God is both unforgivable and deserving of severe punishment – ego is in a tough spot. Let’s list some other things that ego mind doesn’t understand. First, you never left home. There is no separation. The body and the Universe are what is not real. God does not and cannot judge. God is pure Love. God does not and cannot punish. Meanwhile in its imagined sinfulness, ego comes up with a plan. Put the blame on somebody else. Maybe God will notice that it is the other and not you who is guilty and deserving of judgment and punishment. “Burn them God! It’s their fault and not mine. I’m Innocent!”, you think. This is projection. Every time you judge another for anything, small or large, it is your guilt that you are projecting. It is all about you and not about them. In addition, you try to be a “good” person so that God will see that you are worthy to be brought back home. The only problem is that you cannot earn something that you already have and the only one accusing you of sin is you. No number of good acts or projections will cleanse you of your self-imposed guilt. You cannot buy your way into heaven. You never left. It is only this guilt that holds you in your earthly hell. So, forgive yourself. End of story.

Well, not quite. You go on through life projecting. Other people are wrong. Other countries are wrong. Other religions are wrong. You are right and you are good, but there is something inside you that doesn’t buy the whole story, that suspects that it is you who are truly guilty. Deep down is this fear, this dread of the inevitability of the coming retribution. Unconsciously you draw loss, pain, failure, illness, and emotional turmoil into your life, always trying to pay this unpayable debt. This is where the healing can begin. Let go of the projection upon God. Let go at the same time of the projection that you have toward yourself. You are innocent. Nothing happened. You did not leave God. God is not upset. It is all much ado about nothing. You cannot hurt God and God cannot hurt you. There is only Love here.

Now let’s return to the opportunity that you called a challenge. You have heard these words from me, perhaps read similar words in A Course in Miracles or heard them from some other teacher, but the bottom line is that you don’t feel them. You feel yourself to be victim to another’s energy. You’re sick and tired of everything but don’t know what to do with it all. This projection works in a very specific way. You don’t project everything on everyone. You project wonderful things onto some people, seeing them as loving and good. When you find yourself with a specific judgment toward another, that is what you believe about yourself but don’t want to face. You fear being punished, so you go into denial and project. Ego mind jumps in and yells, “I’m not like that!”. In truth you are not, but you believe that you are. Until you own this. Until you accept that the judgment is about self and has nothing to do with the other, nothing will change. You will live in projection and victimhood.

Your job, then, is to take ownership of the projections, to accept that the judgment is aimed toward the self. For example, if your projection is that another is not honest with you, ask how you are not honest with yourself. What untruths about self are you believing to be true? Anything short of recognizing your absolute innocence, your Divinity, is part of the lie. You are absolutely loved by God, but are you telling yourself that you are unlovable? You are always provided for, but are you telling yourself that you are undeserving and needy? Forgiveness is not a matter of recognizing where you have been bad and then asking to be forgiven. It is the realization that you have not and could not err, so there is nothing to forgive. There is only the Love of God.

Let’s look at a specific example so you might gain a clearer picture of how this whole process has worked and could work for you. A popular one for those of you who have children is being a victim to them. “They never clean. They don’t do their homework. They are not responsible. They don’t listen to me. They don’t follow my rules. They don’t respect me as the adult.” We could go on and on and you could each add to the list from your own experiences. Let’s just focus on one part of the litany, “My daughter never cleans up after herself. I am left with the choice of being in a constant fight or surrendering to grudgingly being my daughter’s maid.” The choice you make doesn’t matter. What effects you feel come from what you carry around inside yourself. There is a judgment of her irresponsibility causing you to make one of two equally undesirable choices. There is a good possibility that if you listen inside there is a parent saying a similar thing about you. You were taught to be a good person, to clean up after yourself. Did that result in you feeling like a good person? Probably not. Did you learn to feel guilt when you didn’t clean up? Probably. Did you resent being told what to do? Most likely. Now as an adult you act out of guilt and resentment when you must clean up. Instead of facing this inner anger and judgment, along comes this young whippersnapper on whom you can project all of this. The child may not be carrying the guilt or having a thought about what they should do unless you have been successful in drumming it into her. Maybe she is stronger than you and your parents’ games don’t work with her. Instead of passing your guilt on to her you could realize that each moment of each day you are carrying thoughts about what you should be doing to be a good person. What should you do? What does God want you to do? When you were small your parents represented God for you. They taught you right and wrong, good and bad – providing punishments and rewards. That was your first church.

You have the opportunity to notice that you have been forcing yourself to do what you don’t want to do. Ego mind screams out, “Yeah! But if I don’t do it the house will be a total mess!” Maybe. So what? Ego mind says there is probably a special circle in hell for bad housekeepers. Is that really true? Does God only take back home those with clean houses? What is actually going on here? What is really true? Recalling that God is unconditional love and acceptance, there are no rewards or punishments, no heaven or hell. You never left; it is only the ego mind that believes that what goes on here is of any consequence. So back to now. Do you clean or not clean? Perhaps you wait until you feel like doing it. Perhaps your standards of cleanliness go through a transition. Perhaps you start listening more to what the inner guidance and the body tell you instead of marching to the orders of the guilt driven ego mind. Without a sense of compulsion there may be a joy in the act of cleaning. Perhaps in the now there is exhaustion, so go relax. Above all, thank your daughter for putting you in touch with your guilt and denial. Always thank your mirrors…at least silently.

The root of all the fear, guilt, and blame is in the belief in separation. The truth is that there is Oneness. You are One with the Divine and with each other. What another is doing is what you are doing. It is all connected. In the perfection of what is happening right now in each moment, everything is unfolding exactly as it should. The script, as we said in the last message, has already been written. If you accept what is without resistance, it opens you up to the truth of your Divinity, to your Oneness with the Creator and the creation. Can you begin to see the enormous value of seeing the actions of another as your projection? You are being handed the keys to the kingdom. All is within you, never outside of you. What a perfect gift your child, or whomever appears to be a challenge, is offering you with their every action. All of this requires no volition on anybody’s part. Nobody needs to have any understanding of the part they are playing. They cannot help but to serve you. You only have choice on whether you wish to be served or bothered.

It doesn’t matter if the challenge in your life appears to be somebody who is irresponsible with money, has an addiction, is trying to control you, is abusive, ignores you, doesn’t accept you for who you are, or – we could go on and on and on. It doesn’t matter if this person plays a central part in your life or you only meet them once. You have the choice to be a victim (seemingly forever) or to grasp the opportunity to let go of your imagined separation and see the gift that is being offered. As long as you hold this as being about the other there is no way out. You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. But you are blessed and loved. This is your creation and you are doing a perfect job. Accept it and live in this now. You deserve to experience the Love and Peace that is the truth of You.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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Is everything preplanned? | Sanhia on the Illusion of Choice and Free Will

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This conversation comes from a recent session.

Participant: Is everything preplanned?

I knew you were going to ask that. (laughs) Just kidding…a little. Both the short answer and the long answer is…yes. One of the favorite games of the ego mind is convincing you that you have choice. Not only does it convince you that you have the power of choice, but also that your choices will affect what will happen in the illusion. Therefore, you have a great responsibility to choose well, because what you choose is what you are going to get. We will start out by asking Our favorite question, “How has that worked for you so far?” Certainly, if you have received whatever you have chosen, we would not be having this conversation. What need would you have for a disembodied voice if you had all the money, fame, success, relationships, sex, adventures, and good health you could ever want? Obviously, you have received many things you never in your worst nightmares would have asked for. I assume for all of you to varying degrees getting what you think you want has not been the normal result for you. What that leaves is the possibility that you didn’t do a good enough job, allowing in too many doubts or thoughts that you could not have what you wanted. In this scenario if you had been pure in your thoughts everything would have worked out perfectly. A corollary to this is that you don’t deserve what you want.

Participant: Is the only choice to follow the Will of God?

Wow! You are way ahead of me. Perhaps we should switch places. We will come around to that point, but let’s fill in a few blanks first. The bottom line here is that if you have the ability to choose and your choice will make a positive difference, then why don’t your choices always work out? Of course, most of you will think of examples where you did choose something and it more or less happened as you desired it to. The question then is, “Having received what you asked for, did that leave you feeling full and complete?” The honest answer to that probably is that though it might have felt good for a period of time, eventually there was something else that you wanted. Perhaps there was not even a short-term satisfaction before realizing that you did not find the feeling you were hoping to have. So, the choosing continues on and on without ever delivering the heaven that has been sought. More likely there is a failure even to gain what is desired.

Let’s jump over to the other side and assume that it makes absolutely no difference what you choose or don’t choose. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. Sometimes your wishes are aligned with that result and sometimes they aren’t. When what happens is aligned, you believe that you did it. You don’t want it to rain because you have a picnic planned and the skies remain clear. Do you now believe that you have power over the weather? If it had rained, who would you have pointed the finger at in blame? Yourself? God? Global warming? Alignment does not prove cause and effect. What if the whole script is already written out and there is nothing you can do to change that story?

Participant: But sometimes I find myself at a fork in the road and my whole life will change based on whether I bend to the left or to the right. Doesn’t that show that choice does make a difference?

Good question. It certainly shows that there is an illusion of the power of choice. It could be said that the choice you make was already written.

Participant: But Sanhia it feels like I could have chosen in the opposite way.

Then why didn’t you? You chose the only way you could choose. Let’s look at how the ego mind actually operates. It is no different than a computer. It is programmed and acts and reacts from that programming. In your programming you have been taught to believe and to act in accordance with all that you have experienced in what appears to be your life story. All of that conditioning leads to the choice you make in this moment. In another moment you might choose quite differently because included in your program now are the results from your previous choice. Your choice in the moment might also be affected by the emotions you are experiencing right at that time. Did you choose to be angry, impatient, pessimistic, or optimistic when it was time to make your choice?  Things constantly change; things that you have little or no control over. Perhaps the choice you are making is totally influenced by your parents’ teachings. Do you remember choosing those parents? Did you choose the teachers you had growing up? Did you choose your religion or lack of one? Did you choose a friend who suddenly appears in your story?  Did you pick your race, gender, or the area where you lived in your formative years? The answers are obvious. Of course not. Yet, all of these experiences formed who you feel yourself to be and out of them you are programmed to make choices. All these events were planned. Nothing was random. Nothing was chosen by you. Yet you act as if you have a power to control the world, to determine your future. That, too, has been programmed into you. As long as you attempt to guide things you will be frustrated. The “best” outcome is that you have moments of feeling successful, periods of peace and happiness. Those moments will end. More likely you will experience a sense of failure and look at your future with foreboding.

Imagine for a moment that you have no choice, that everything is unfolding as it is meant to. You are off the hook. You have no responsibility. You can neither puff up your chest and take credit for what has happened nor blame yourself and feel guilt. You did neither of those things. The place that we call the awakened state is simply one where there is absolute acceptance for what is. Nothing can be changed. It is simply happening. It would be futile to resist what already is because it cannot be changed. It already is! Close your eyes and pretend it isn’t there, but it is still there. You can want to change it, but the genie is already out of the bottle. Here is what the ego mind does when it hears this news. It goes into absolute terror and denial. It asks how can you ever be happy in life if you can’t create what you want? Are you expected to bite the bullet and accept whatever shit comes your way? This, according to the ego mind, is the worst of all hells.

Here’s what happens when you give up fighting what is and simply experience it and live with it. You begin to experience the fullness of life. Ego mind is screaming that what is here isn’t right, it isn’t good, it isn’t what you should have. I am telling you that what is happening is perfect, is exactly what should be happening, is just what you need. Spirit, the Divine, is presenting your perfect now. It is eons beyond what you could have chosen for yourself (and remember your track record). Everything is given in Love.

Participant: So again, the only choice I really have is to choose the Will of God. Maybe this will make me more content with life?

As you said, “the only choice I really have is to choose the Will of God”, but that is still a choice. That may be your intention, but who is expressing that intention? Like all choice, it can only come from the ego mind. Like all your other plans, it may or may not happen. Armed with that intention you drive off down the road only to find you have a flat tire. Is your mind just fine with all of that or do you find yourself in resistance to what is? These reactions are immediate and programmed. The habit that has been nurtured for so long is to resist the Will of God and then to choose what you think would be better. Maybe at some point the awareness that you are resisting what is occurs to you and you stop fighting. Each experience rewires your data base.  Another day you might find yourself just fine with a flat tire as it happens. Perhaps the gap between noticing the resistance and accepting what is will continually narrow.

In the meantime I will simply remind you that not accepting God’s gifts always leaves you feeling separate from your own Divinity. My voice is now a part of your programming as are your attempts and failures to heed it. Be certain that your opportunities to let go of your personal will shall be unlimited. In the meantime, are you in guilt and blame when your choice for God’s Will fails to materialize? Are you then choosing to give up guilt and blame? Who is choosing that? And so it goes. (laughter) This doesn’t mean that things are hopeless and you are helpless. The perfect thing is always happening right now. What you think of as you just isn’t in control. If choosing is present, if guilt and blame are there, you notice that. If you have thought of changing how you respond…you notice that. You are not going to be able to change either of those things. They have already happened, but the noticing, the experience, and the awareness are now part of your programming. Perhaps then over time you find it easier and easier to accept God’s Will. More quickly you are able to let go of “Why is this happening” and “Poor me”. You might find yourself letting go of guilt and blame more speedily. You do this not because of setting such goals, but through the experience that none of that stuff works. It can feel hard to surrender and trust the Will of God instead of pursuing what you want to happen.

Participant: How can it be easier?

Your personal will chooses only out of a sense of separation from God, not from alignment. Personal will accepts almost nothing as it is, instead it thinks about would feel better and visualizes a future with all its desires met, a fantasy of peace, love, and joy. Again, we return to our favorite question, “So, how has that worked out for you so far?” There are three primary reasons why it hasn’t worked out. The first is that you don’t have a clue. What you think will bring you happiness will never do so, will never bring you that sense of peace and Oneness. The second reason is that you are looking in the wrong place. The world cannot give you what you want, because it is simply the projection of your lack. What you seek is within you. It lies with your thoughts and beliefs. If you want love, then be love. Finally, as is the whole point of this message, it is already decided. There is nothing you can do to change anything.

For a moment let’s leap back over to the other side, to the part of you that is able to accept what is without any need or attempt to change it. We could call this the awakened self, although the sense of self has disappeared. There is an observation of that self taking place, but there is no ownership of it. The idea of choice is not present here. This jump cannot be chosen, though you may make efforts toward it by letting go of personal will and asking to hear and follow God’s Will. To believe that you have choice and are separate from Divinity is the sleeping self, living in a dream while believing it is real. This sleeping self believes it must use its personal will, its choice, to protect itself from the universe or from God. The awakened you is One with everything, experiencing rather than choosing and resisting.

Participant: You have been talking about being in the now and accepting what is, that what is here now is exactly what is needed for me. 

Yes. In this perfection of the now, if you are truly there, there is no question of choice. Choice only exists in the horizontal when the mind is referring to the ideas of past and present. In the present there is no choice to make; there is just what is here. Rather than choice there is simply action or reaction, and that also just happens. Any thought of needing to make a choice indicates you are no longer in the now and have drifted off back into sleep. Notice that. That becomes part of your experience. The now is relentless and you have infinite opportunities to be present or not. Again, you cannot choose to be present, but you can notice when you are not. Hmmm. Interesting. Notice where there is judgment, blame, or guilt. Hmmm. Interesting.

Yes, this preplanned world is absolutely perfect. Everything that is present exists to stimulate that leap of faith, that awakening. If your ego mind is running the show right now, that is what is perfect. Notice that and accept it. Or don’t notice or don’t accept. It doesn’t matter. It is still perfect. When it is time to notice or to accept, you will do that. Nothing you do in following the lies of the ego mind makes any real difference. What is true is true, and what is true is of Love and of God. The rest is a dream, or if you prefer, a nightmare. There is no such thing as failure or success, but there is a perfection in holding on to the belief in them until you don’t. Spirit’s GPS is guiding you and loving you in every moment, even when you feel the most alone and abandoned.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

All Rights Reserved © 2025 Channels Without Borders
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What do you mean by ownership? | Sanhia on the Freedom of Having Nothing to Lose

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This conversation comes from a recent session.

Participant: You have used the term ownership a few times. Can you explain what you mean by that?

There is a quote attributed to Jesus in the New Testament in which he states that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. In another situation Jesus is asked by a rich young man what he would have to do to become a follower. He was told to give all of his money to the poor. The young man chose to remain at home. Another significant Jesus quote relative to ownership is where he said that the kingdom of God is within you. Ownership, though, is not limited to money. This should not be interpreted to mean that you must give up all money and live in poverty in order to realize your Divine awakened nature. Ownership is a state of mind. When you say that something is yours you are expressing ownership. This would include your ideas, story, partner, children, friends, health, and career…. We could go on and on. When a possessive pronoun is placed before a noun, ownership is implied. Ownership keeps you stuck in the illusion for a couple of reasons. First of all, none of the things you possess are real. There is no story or career. There is no past or future, no partner, and no money. I guess some of you would readily agree with the last two. (Laughter) These things are all a part of the illusion, of the movie. They have no true existence. Of even greater importance is that the being you call you also has no existence. That is what you consider your greatest possession. To be awakened is to have no sense of self. There is no identification with the body/mind construct, that is – no sense of self, but simply the noticing of the body as you might observe the sky or a building or anything in the manifested world.

Participant: Is ownership the same as control? Is letting go of ownership like letting go of control?

Of course. There is nothing. There is nothing to control. If there is nothing there, how can anything be controlled? So, …. We could stop right here. This is really the message……but let’s talk about it some more. I encourage you to be aware of where you hold ownership. We have used terms like the Divine or Holy Relationship, the Divine Presence, or the Divine Now. None of these involve any ownership whatsoever. You cannot possess anybody or anything. You can neither control them nor change them. What is there is simply noticed, accepted, and loved. Without ownership there are no loves and hates.

Participant: (laughter) Wow!

This isn’t to say that there might not be the noticing of preferring to or not preferring to be with, say, a certain person. That won’t change; there simply will be nobody there to have those likes and dislikes. There is no ownership of the reaction. This is an impossible concept for the ego mind to wrap itself around. But then, all of being awakened is like that. Without ownership there is no ego mind. It is the ego mind that believes it has things and needs them in order to get where it believes it needs to go, but there is nowhere you need to go. You are where you want to be, though there is no you there. When you hold on to things, your focus is on them and therefore on you, the holder, the human entity who feels separate from the Divine. This does not mean that you do without all these things. There are still going to be homes, vehicles, money, jobs, friends, enemies, partners, children, and relatives, but they will not be owned. They will simply be in your movie.

Participant: So, there are no likes or dislikes for the awakened me?

We have talked about this with emotions. Rather than saying, for example, that you are depressed, you notice that depression seems to be present. The former expresses ownership of a feeling. There is no definition of self as depressed. Again, ownership is not restricted to objects or people. It includes thoughts, feelings, and health. Anything tacked on to the end of the thought or statement “I am” shows ownership. I am happy. I am poor. I am sick. Awareness simply notices the apparent presence of happiness, poverty, or sickness. The ego mind might argue that it can’t see any difference, but you will find that noticing without ownership allows a totally different life experience. There is nobody there in the awakened state to own anything. Therefore, it is as impossible to lose anything as it is to hold on to it.

Participant: Doesn’t saying “I am” still imply that you exist?

That’s a sharp question. Who is? Is there ownership of being? We would suggest that you first practice dropping the words that follow “I am”. When that becomes your default thought in all situations, we’ll have further discussion about your question. There is beingness and it cannot be possessed. It simply is. It is what is aware of the created, the phenomenal world.

Participant: Is surrender to the Divine what you are talking about here. I have been trying to surrender control of my health to Spirit. Are you saying that this is a giving up of the ownership of my body? 

Yes. We can look at it in this way. You have been letting go of control of your personal will and asking to be able to surrender to God’s Will. What is being suggested here is not just letting go of the personal will but letting go of the person. There is nobody there to have a personal will. You can have that awareness. It’s not simply noticing that you have a personal desire which is separate from God’s Will, but that you are believing in a person existing that could have such a will. There is no you who could want something; there is no you who could lack anything. There is no you. There is only Divinity observing the situation. The ultimate step in giving up ownership – beyond letting go of people, things, thoughts, and feelings – is this letting go of ownership of self. There is no person here.

Participant: I think that is very hard to understand that there is no person here. What is it then? 

A movie. A hologram. A creation of the Divine Mind.

Participant: Yeah? That is difficult to understand, to grasp in some way what this Divine Mind is.

The Divine Mind has not only created this body you are pretending is a real person with a separate identity, but has created the whole movie, the whole thing …… the whole universe, everyone who seems to be in it, and every aspect of it including the “laws” by which it seems to function. That’s what Divine Mind has created; what you think of as you is not separate from any other part of the physical manifestation, whether animate or inanimate. The perfection of the Divine You has created this and is watching it, but it is not the personal you which pictures self as the creation and not the Creator. This brings on the feelings of separation and all the pain and suffering that goes with it. When the ego self believes it can own anything it is giving both self and the objects a reality they don’t have.

Participant: I can feel how a partner and projections upon him is so connected with ownership. It is another word for the same thing. Just saying “my partner” is expressing ownership. 

You’ve got it! The thought “my partner” implies ownership. Who is owning? The owner is the one you think of as your self, who feels separate from the rest of the universe and certainly from “her” partner. Ownership requires a separation of the owner and the thing owned. With Oneness there is no separation. The saying, “I am you and you are me” expresses no separation. No separate self exists. There is just the One, created by your Divine Self which is watching the movie it created.

Participant: This is scary.

What is scary about it?

Participant: It is like letting go of the only branch connecting to this world of confusion and going into freefall. 

So, who is holding on to this branch?

Participant: It’s this little me, a creature who is so terrified of God.

The Observer is simply observing. It doesn’t have the terror possessed by the little one being observed. The observer is not the person. It is simply watching. When you see only from this Watcher, there is no terror.

Participant: I can feel that this is what you mean when you suggest to fully let go and let God.

Now, as we never grow tired of saying, but you can’t get there from here. (much laughing)

Participant: Now it is a real riddle here. (continued laughing)

The ones who think they exist and possess things and need to possess things in order to survive and protect themselves are not able to choose to let go of that because there is nobody there to choose to let go. The ego mind cannot choose. The best that you can do is to be aware that there are beliefs in ownership and not act from that and to allow the emotions that are triggered to be there until they aren’t. You may find yourself attached to less and less.

Participant: Nothing left to lose.

Yes, without attachment or ownership, when something goes out of the picture there is no sense of loss. The picture is still there. It keeps on running.

Participant: But it really helps when I feel like I have nothing left to lose.

When you say, “I have nothing left to lose”, you still have “I” to lose. And it may come down to that for some. They lose everything until they finally lose themselves.

Participant: It’s a little bit tempting.

You can also do it a piece at a time. you notice that there seems to be ownership present. Whatever it is. Whenever the possessive pronoun enters the mind, you notice that there seems to be ownership here.

Participant: There is a fear here that if I go against the mass consciousness in this way I might be seen as crazy. For me, to be perceived as crazy is the worst thing that could happen. 

At the same time, you recognize that the mass consciousness is crazy. The mass consciousness believes the world is the cause and you are at effect. The mass consciousness believes that it needs to choose and choose well. It believes that you are responsible.

Participant: But what happens if I am ostracized?

The awakened individual is by definition ostracized. It no longer belongs, even though it appears to be fully participating. It is not connected to a body and to the world as others are.

Participant: Can you still use the language of the ego when talking with others, though you have fully let it go inside of you? Otherwise, you run naked in the world.

When you are out and involved with the world, you can play any role. You have no identity as a person, but you certainly have a personality. There is nothing you need to do or be; you simply react in the moment. In fact, there is no you. There are no goals such as presenting an enlightened face to the world, – whatever that might be – healing or awakening others. There is no purpose. There is just life. There is awareness. There is the movie, but there is no “you” in it. The form will still be out there carrying on, having all the experiences you have now, but with no sense of ownership of any part of it. There is no you to own it.

Participant: Sanhia, it is amazing to see that when You are speaking with people You meet them exactly where they are. The language is exactly what that moment calls for, exactly what that person needs to hear. Is that what you are talking about here? Is this “being in the world but not of it”?

All that language does is to point. One looks at what is being pointed to and may find it interesting and wonder what to do with it. There is nothing magical about the words that come through Michael. They are just what is there and are simply shared. Everything that happens can only be perfect. The language is not there to teach what the truth is. The awakened you does not need to walk around telling everybody what the reality is. Then they might lock you up. (laughter) Jesus warns not to cast your pearls before swine – and of course we are not calling the unawakened pigs – but there is no reason to cast them unless that is the guidance in the Now. You might take it as a sign that another is ready to hear something if they come and ask for help. It’s not just a question of intuiting what should be said, but it is responding to questions with what comes to the consciousness in the moment. I am not approaching random people on the street and saying, “give your money to the poor and follow me”, or “divorce the bitch or bastard, quit your job, and follow me.” (much laughter). We are not saying that. All that I do when somebody comes up and asks for directions is to scratch my chin and say (points) “I think you go this way”. Maybe they are more lost after talking to Me than before, but that’s not My problem. (laughter) My job is simply to point.

Participant: I like this pointer I have received from you now, but I am aware there is a fear to be noticing, but there is also a big yes.

When there is ownership there is something to take care of, something to protect and defend and to be afraid of losing. Without ownership, as you pointed out before, there is nothing to lose. There is nothing you have to do, no responsibility. This is a great and tremendous freedom. It points to awakening. You cannot choose to awaken, but you can notice when ownership is present, recalling that possessions just lead to pain and suffering.  So, you don’t follow that train, don’t act on those thoughts. If a thought comes to mind about “your” partner, you recognize that you think you own your partner. What a responsibility that is. Now you have to make that person be who you want them to be. If you notice that there is no control possible, then there is nothing for you to do. Perhaps ultimately it will be noticed that there is no you to even try to be the controller. If there is no you to be hurt or abandoned or upset, there is nothing but freedom. It doesn’t matter what you or others do. Whatever is done is simply done.

Participant: It’s like if the relationship is with the Divine, then it’s just “Let go and let God”.

Yes. Unless your relationship with God or Spirit or the Divine is, “Bring me my perfect relationship. Bring me money. (laughter) If you are trying to control God, then it is your God, it’s your Jesus, and then what happens? ….. You end up pissed. You asked for specific help and adequate delivery was not forthcoming. (laughter). This possession becomes total: your religion, your beliefs, your reality – as if it could possibly make a difference to the truth of the universe what crazy beliefs your ego mind might have. Reality is what it is, not what you think it should be. You cannot see reality before you if you are blinded by your reality.

Participant: I can feel this enormous relief and at the same time I can notice how much fear I have.

Yes. Good! Fear seems to present, but it is not owned. Take a step back and notice the fear. Notice who is noticing the fear.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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Why does seeing from the Observer´s eyes seem so damned impossible? | Sanhia on the Illusion of Choice

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This conversation comes from a recent Spiritual Awareness Group.

Participant: How can I choose to see things from the observer’s mind?

It seems that you can choose either ego or Spirit. In truth, there is no choosing. It is already written. It is just what happens. The mind may see it as choosing, but there is just the appearance of choosing happening, just as there might be the appearance of a sunrise happening. The viewer would just notice that there is an apparent choosing. The choice does not affect the movie. It is a scripted part of the movie. Ego mind wants to hold on to the thought that it is choosing. Ego wants to claim, for instance, that “I” am angry. In reality, there is no one to “own” that anger. There is only the appearance of anger being present. There is no judgment in this noticing. Anger is not good or bad; it is simply present. The observer feels no anger. It is only aware of the presence of anger in the movie.

Participant: I seem to be stuck here.

There seems to be the appearance of stuckness here. The observer is not stuck, but only noticing the presence of stuckness.

Participant: I am worried that my observer might be laughing at me.

The observer has no reaction other than absolute love for whatever is there. The part that you think of as me, who feels separate from the One, who feels it can choose – and is therefore not doing a good job – is thinking “Why did it choose this?” The observer simply notices that there seems to be a belief in choosing; there seem to be upsetness; there seems to be stuckness.

Participant: I can be okay with that. I don’t want to just jump from this place right now because something is needing to be done here. I don’t want to go back to trying to be nice. That’s not so fun.

If you could simply choose to jump from your ego and only see from the Divine Observer, you would have done that long ago. You can have the intention to do that, but you can’t make it happen because you don’t have choice. If you had choice, that would place you separate from the Divine. But you can’t be separate, so what is happening can only be perfect, a part of the script that is already written. At some point it may be that in the noticing of the now the ego is just seen rather than experienced as self. That cannot be chosen because only the ego mind can pretend to choose. The noticing simply happens. There no longer is anyone there, there is just the noticing. But you can’t choose that.

Participant: Not just now.

Not at any time. It will happen when it happens.

Participant: Something feels very powerful in this.

If you have the thought that there is stuckness, and you hang on to that thought, you will likely decide there is some fault in you that maintains the feeling of stuckness. When you are aware of that, let the sense of stuckness be there as long as it is going to be there. It is perfect. There is nothing to fix. There is no effort you could make to cause the stuckness to go away.

Participant: I could sing a song. Then I’m not focused on the stuckness.

Yes and then what is apparent is the singing of the song. Will the feeling of stuckness return? Probably.

Participant: This is very good. I like it very much.

Choice is the domain of the ego mind. As you let go of control and simply notice what is present, you are opening to the possibility of seeing through Divine eyes. If you do that to try to enable Divine seeing, you are back in the ego trap of choosing. So, you just do it when you notice and stop trying to choose, instead noticing what is present. It’s a razor’s edge you are walking. I mean let’s get serious. Is the ego really going to choose to give up its control by truly allowing you to choose Spirit? That would be suicide. The ego is a survivor and a very clever one. Choice is not a choice; it is a subterfuge. Every choice affirms the reality of the ego. Its disappearance requires not choosing. The best you can hope to do is to notice what is going on without following any of the threads.

Participant: But I do know that this is all an ego game. I know that it will probably eventually go over to something else, but I guess that right now I need to be in it.

This is such a humorous thing – perhaps more humorous from this perspective than from yours – but whatever you decide you want to do; you can’t possibly do. All that is left is to give up trying. But you can’t try to give up trying. Finally, you get so exhausted from trying and failing that you just give up trying.

Participant: But sometimes I’m able to walk or sit quietly or sing and my mind calms down.

Yes, but what you have then is a calmer ego driven person, but still not an awake person. Not that this is a bad thing. Being calm might be more enjoyable, but the balancing dualistic energy will eventually surface. Watching from the viewer is not about being calm or distressed.  It is noticing what is present without identifying that as self. There is no self. There are no techniques for taking you to that place. If anything, it may be necessary to let go of all techniques, but that can become its own technique.

Participant: Just now, this is what I needed.

The perfect thing is always here. If you try to understand why it is perfect, you are back in the ego mind. You will never understand.

Participant: Then I could be grateful that this is what it is…and not a heart attack.

That would be perfect too (much laughing). It would be what is there. If you have the thought that awakening means feeling fine all of the time, which you think you might be able to do if you let yourself just find and practice the right things consistently, you may, as I said, find yourself as a mostly satisfied sleeping person. You will, however, still believe yourself to be your “self“, separate from the One. What is transpiring for an individual or for the world in general has no identification for the Divine Viewer. Happiness or sadness may be present, but it makes no difference. There is nobody there experiencing this. There is something magnetic for the searcher in having a practice, but eventually the practice doesn’t deliver. So, you try another and then another until perhaps you crumble into hopelessness.

Participant: I am tired of techniques. I just want to be.

Notice that that is all you can ever do. Just to be. You cannot stop being. You cannot make yourself be. You are. Any technique is simply a diversion from noticing the isness of everything. So, we are back to this razor’s edge of having no techniques without that becoming a technique. Everything is perfect as it is. Nothing to change and nobody there to make a change. There is just what is, Divinely inspired. You can’t change anything, but you might be aware of the desire for change. You can’t make yourself accept what is here, but you might notice that the desire to do so is present.

Participant: I have the thought that coming to this group is a holy thing to do, that it will support my spiritual goals. This morning I didn’t feel very holy so I thought I shouldn’t come.

Sorry, but there is nothing holy here. This is like Walpurgis night in Sweden (a holiday celebrated on the last day of April where people make fires and burn whatever has accumulated over the dark period of the year). You come here to release things, not to get anything. There is nothing to get. You already have it. Your job is not to be or feel holy, but to take out and burn the trash. So please! Bring us your garbage. Of course, you don’t need to come here to throw out the trash. You can do that at home. There is nothing holy about this or any other place, or it could be said that every place is holy. There is only holiness. That is all there is. You are also not here because you chose to be here.

Participant: It is not my choice to be here? You mean in this body?

Well, yes that too, but to be here in this room now. That is just a belief of the ego mind. It might be more accurate to say that you are here because the universe has chosen for you to be here. It might be most accurate to say that you are here because you are here. You can play the game of believing that you are choosing things, but did you choose to become aware of this group? Even when you might think that you decided to be here today, it was the universe that provided you with a ride. The universe could have caused the car not to start or there might have been an accident on route. You could have been too sick to get out of bed or you could have listened to the voice that said you weren’t holy enough to be here today. The universe wanted you here. It is a fool’s task for you to wonder why you were wanted here. It is just yours to be here and notice what is here before you. On the other hand, you may notice that there is nurturance here for this seemingly separated being. That nurturance is also here for the group member who did not appear today. The universe wanted him elsewhere, even though he might be beating himself up for believing that he created not being present. There is nothing wrong or right about attending or not attending. There just is what is.

Participant: Yes, I do think it is good to be here. Good to have support in seeing things from another side.

If you allow yourself to notice when you think you are choosing or when you find yourself feeling negative emotions that you wish were not taking place, if you decide to then reverse the process – good luck with that. You cannot choose that or anything else. At the same time, within the imaginary realms of past and future, which don’t exist, yet feel so real, the choosing part of you that believes you have a whole story of connected events that led you to being where you are now, there is just the isness of this moment. There is no past or future; there is just the isness, the being of what is here in this moment from the vertical perspective. There is just what is being observed. Nothing else. It certainly cannot slow down this illusory process of becoming the Observer to be more aware of when you think you are the chooser, but if you are doing it to try to get “there”, there is nowhere to get, and you are spinning your imaginary wheels. But that doesn’t mean not to do it, if doing it is what is here right now. What is being noticed is that there is resistance to what is here now. What is going on right now is that “I” think that I am this body, and “I” is being used to identify that body. Can that identification be changed right now? No, that is just what appears to be happening. All that is really happening is the noticing that this appears to be going on. Thinking you are the body does not make you the body. Thinking that you are not the body does not stop you from believing you are. Thinking doesn’t do anything. There is no you to be or not be the body. There is just the seeing, just the being.

Participant: That’s good. Good enough.

Or bad enough (laughs all around). This noticing that there is no chooser, there is only the Divine watching can only come upon one who believes in their separated self. There is no chooser so it cannot be chosen. This Divine Watcher has no idea what is coming next. Everything is being viewed for the first time. How could that not be thrilling? This creation is only Love. Everything is seen through these eyes of Love. This does not mean that pain won’t seem to be present, but it will not be owned or possessed by the Viewer who can possess nothing, Who is not there but only Is. Like everything else in the illusion, pain will appear and then disappear. Pain is not good or bad; it is simply what is on the screen now. Ego mind wants to hang on to the exhilaration of the positive experience, but that can only be accompanied by the pain of the fall. The Viewer owns neither. Ego mind is destined to a seeming eternity of up and down. It wants to hold on to the up and it fails, adding insult to injury. Meanwhile there is just Life, Oneness, Divinity. There is no up and down, no judgment, no separation, no guilt, no suffering. The ego mind really believes that it is responsible, that it is in control and can handle things. But it absolutely is not and cannot be. It has no idea that everything filling that mind comes from someplace other than Divinity.

Participant: But isn’t it the human state to seek happiness and avoid pain?

The deeper truth is that the human desire is to go home, and the belief is that something must be done to get there. For some the belief is that seeking happiness will bring them home. For others, the belief may be that pain and deprivation will lead them home. Spirit says that you are home; you never left. The ego mind can never see this, but the Observer’s eye does. Sooner or later the ego mind gets tired of trying.

Participant: I’m tired already.

Wonderful! (laughter) How successful have you been so far in manifesting what you wish to create in your life? That must be exhausting! You can stop trying. Your true nature is Oneness. You are Oneness playing the game of twoness. Is the game always fun? Not from the ego mind, not from the perception of twoness. From Oneness, from the Observer it is neither fun nor not fun; it simply is and all that simply is is Divine, is Love. But in absolute Oneness there is no experience. There is no movie. There is no sunset. There is no storm. There is no pain. There is no sweetness. There is no orgasm. So, Oneness can have the experience of these sensations through this movie. Every moment of the movie is glorious to the Observer.

Participant: How can the Observer experience yet not be a part of what is happening?

The Observer watches without projection. This Watcher does not pretend that It is the person being observed. There is no story, no history. Nothing is held on to. There is no future. There is just the Divine moment. Pain, for example to the ego mind, is connected with past ideas of blame and guilt, and with fears of the future. For the Observer, pain is just a particular sensation in the Divine now. Nothing lasts. Everything changes. Nothing is held on to. Everything is noticed. The Observer notices the pain is present but is not identified with it. Again, these are just words and cannot approximate the actual experience of not seeing through the ego’s eyes. You call this twoness “me”, but where is this “me”? Who is “me”? The twoness is “me-ing” while the Oneness is “be-ing”. “Me-ing” always has questions. “Be-ing” knows, but not in words.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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