Can you explain to us about co-dependency?

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This question surfaced in a group several months ago, but now the time has come to respond to it. We will begin by talking about what is referred to as the special relationship in A Course in Miracles. The special relationship is a co-dependent relationship. Since most human relationships are special, they are in most cases co-dependent. If your mind wants to limit the term co-dependency to extreme or diagnosable relationships, it is aiming a bit high. But first, let Us step back and define the special relationship. It has been some time since we have mentioned this, and likely before many of you began reading the messages. In the special relationship one person wants the other to act in a specific way, to play a certain role. For example, you meet someone and they make you feel special; they make you feel loveable. Whatever it is that they do that makes you feel good or special, you want them to continue. This is co-dependency. You have a need for them to keep on doing those things that make you feel so wonderful. Normally in the special relationship this neediness goes both ways, but let’s just stay with you for now. There is a flip side to the co-dependent relationship. This is where the words or actions of someone you spend a bit of time with seem to cause you upset, pain, or negative emotions. You blame them for your negative reactions. You point the finger; You think you are going through what you are feeling because of them. This is a co-dependent relationship. Special relationships usually have a mix of both the positive and the negative triggers. As we have talked about recently, these liaisons involve projection. We have focused more on the negative aspect there, where you don’t wish to see yourself as having a certain quality so you can then convince yourself that it is the other and not you who is that way. This is co-dependency.

The projecting goes both ways, though. If you are unable to see yourself as loveable, you let another do that for you. The biggest problem here is that, as with all projections, deep inside you believe it isn’t true. You don’t love yourself or believe that you are deserving of love. Sooner or later your denial surfaces and you prove your partner to be wrong. You will not be able to continue performing for them and they will not be able to always act as you wish them to. It feels so good to have someone tell you that you are loveable, but you don’t really trust that. You begin to resent having to perform for them. You become upset if they change in any way or show you anything but unconditional acceptance. The honeymoon is over. The flame of your relationship was based on the other causing you to feel in a certain way, but now that has blown out. The things that used to turn you on begin to turn you off. This is the normal trajectory of the co-dependent relationship. If you doggedly hold on to the need for them to complete you, the battle will rage on and on. The negative aspects of projection may grow to exceed the positive ones. At this point you may decide to pull the plug. Since the problem is with the other, you have obviously picked wrongly. You seek another relationship. Until you give up co-dependency, reclaim your projections, and take responsibility for everything in your life as your creation, the new relationship will go through the same cycle. In despair somewhere along the way, you may decide to stay with the relationship you have, withdrawing from your partner and settling for feeling separate and unloved, deciding on some level that is all you are worth. Even then, there is still the possibility that you can stop looking to your partner for the love you want. The only solution, whether choosing fight or flight, is to come to the point of recognition that this isn’t working and it is time to try something else.

Sometimes in this special relationship you feel that you must take responsibility for the other. This often happens for parents, but it can just as well be a part of a committed relationship. Now you are doubly trapped because the bond is not only unfulfilling, but you have too much guilt to be able to leave. The other person needs you, or so you believe.

So, what is there beyond co-dependency? The relationship that is not marked by specialness can be called a holy relationship. In this association you have no desire for the other to be or do anything different from what they are now expressing. You accept them as they are. You love them without conditions. It is not possible to express unconditional love for another unless you are already doing that for yourself. When you are fully accepting yourself, you notice where you have guilt, where you are judging, where you are unkind to yourself, where you are experiencing strong emotions, and you commit to loving, accepting, and forgiving all of that. You take full responsibility for what you are thinking and feeling about yourself. You own your projections mirrored in those who trigger you. You do not allow these projections to go unchallenged. Remind yourself that this is you. This is what you are not wanting to face in yourself. Notice what you are holding to be true about yourself from both your own thoughts and from your projections and ask if those thoughts are really true. Work with all of that. Own it all. Take responsibility and sort through it. Look nowhere but within for the love you seek. Where you find this challenging, give it to Spirit, give it to God.

Let go of those thoughts. Don’t hold on to them or follow them. Don’t act from them. Notice them and move on. If the thoughts return, be willing to stare them in the face. Look deeply to see if there is indeed truth there. I know they are not true, but you must stay with them until you too know it. You are the Divine Child of God, made in the image of your Creator, an entity of love. That’s all you can be. Anything else you are holding on to is not the truth. It stems from the belief that you have separated from God. That is not possible. That is an illusion. That is the illusion. The holy relationship is your relationship with the Divine; it is only about unconditional love. The only function of the special relationship is to show you where you are co-dependent and not giving everything to God. It is an opportunity to recognize where you hold untruths about yourself so that you can realize your Oneness with God. Your relationships with others don’t exist in order for you to get something from them, but as places for you to give love. You have no need to be completed. You are whole. It is never about changing another or yourself. It is all about accepting the Divinity which is the truth of all.

I want to remind you that co-dependency is not limited to the perceived negative aspects, to the places where you judge or feel yourself to be victim to another. It is just as significant with the things you perceive coming from others that you consider to be positive. When you know that you are love, created in the image of God, how can you have any need to hear that from another. The latter expression can only feel good to you, feel special, if you have doubts as to its veracity. Whether the reinforcement from others feels to be negative or positive, it is just a pointer to where you are holding yourself separate from God. Give silent thanks for the reminder, take it to heart, and go to work.

Over time you will find yourself unable to hold on to the praise of others. You will perhaps begin to doubt their sincerity. You decide they are just being nice or that they have ulterior motives, they want something from you. They’re buttering you up, “kissing your ass”. The bottom line is that you cannot receive from them something you don’t know to be true. If you know its truth, the praise is redundant. Otherwise, it may feel good for a moment but, like with any drug, the effect begins to wear off and you desire another hit. You start to do things to win other’s approval. Perhaps you do things to prove they are wrong in their praise. The bottom line is that you cannot receive from them something you don’t know to be true.

If you know you are love, you will have nothing but love for others, no matter what they might say or do. As you are practicing loving yourself unconditionally, letting go of all guilt, judgment, self-hatred – think about loving others unconditionally. Have the intention to give love to everyone you meet, rather than looking for what you can get. See their Divinity. Look through their pretence at being human and unlovable. Observe the truth of them. Know they are doing the best they can and offer whatever you can to lighten their load. Have a holy relationship with everybody. Above all, have that with yourself, particularly when you are aware of its absence. Be kind, loving, and gentle to yourself and ask for Spirit to come help you release your personal will and surrender to the Will of God, Who only loves you.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

How can I be sure I am on the right path?

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All of these questions are enjoyable, but this one is really fun. When you think about it, and I do know that some you of spend some time thinking, there are lots of paths out there. There are a multitude of choices with all of the major religions, minor religions, cults, disciplines, teachers, retreats, centers, ashrams, temples, and monasteries. On top of that is the plethora of books. You would be hard pressed to keep up with reading all of the spiritual texts dealing with the various paths to awakening, enlightenment, or ascension that have been published and continue to appear at an ever increasing rate. As we mentioned in the previous message, some of the authors/teachers claim to be enlightened and are willing to show you the way. If you study more than one of these paths, you will find there isn’t a clear overlay. Who is right? Who is wrong? Who can you trust? What’s a poor seeker on the path supposed to do? It’s too hard to sift through all of this. What if you spend years following a certain path and then find out you’re on the wrong one? Now do you have to go back and start all over? Go directly to Jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Fortunately, I can make this very simple for you, unless you would rather make it difficult for yourself. To begin with, you can’t know anything. No matter how much you study or learn, no matter how hard you work at trying to figure it out, you will never have certainty about being on the right path. You will never have full confidence that all you need to do is to continue down the path you are following, persevere with your practice, pedal a little longer and maybe a little harder, take a few more trips around the sun, and then – BINGO! You are home; you are awake.

The good or bad news is that there is no right or wrong path, or that if such a thing exists you will never know whether or not you are on it. Now comes the answer that you may have been eagerly awaiting, salivating over. When you hear about someone else’s path and have a reasonable expectation that what you’ve been told or what you are reading is a fairly accurate depiction of how they woke up, you can be sure that this is not your path. Does that mean you should study every possible path you can find and then see what is left? You could try that. Let Us know how it works. But, We can make it even easier. Your path is unique to you. Nobody shares this path with you. Nobody else will awaken in precisely the same manner. No one ever has and no one ever will. It is just yours. How, you may be wondering, can you figure out what this path consists of? You discover it inside of you.

You don’t find it by seeking out a teacher to tell you what the path is. You won’t find it in any book. You will only find it within yourself. The only thing holding you separate from realizing the truth of yourself, from fully experiencing your Divinity, your I am-ness, from the awareness that everything else is an enormous practical joke, that you are not this body, that you are not this anything which you could attempt to define, that you simply are – is within you. There is nobody outside of you in the world, in your house, in the neighborhood, in the metropolitan area, in the time zone, or in the universe that is holding a gun to your head telling you that you must stay asleep. This is absolutely an internal choice. The only way you can possibly experience your awakeness is by choosing differently. Everybody has their own unique set of untrue beliefs. If everyone shared the same beliefs there would be no wars or conflicts. All would be in agreement. But there are all these differing views about how everything should be. They are all false. They all cause personal suffering. They are all voluntarily held. All that concerns you are the ones you believe to be true. Nobody else knows just what you are holding in your hand. They can’t see your cards, so this process has to be your own.

When you ask the question or have the fear about whether you are on the right path, the answer is so joyfully simple. There is no right or wrong path. You are simply on your path. It is what it is. Does this mean you should never read another book, follow another teacher, or pay attention to the examples of those who apparently have awakened?  Should you shut out all religious teachings? There are no shoulds here. Any should you hear is not coming from the true you, it is a voice from the outside. If your inner guidance draws you to read something, read it. Notice what aspects appeal to you or what games you want to try out. You may also find something from the same book, teacher, or source that pushes you away. Pick and choose. The truth of you will speak to you through others. Trust what is pointed out to you. If you miss something that might support you, you can be sure it will keep coming back around until it gets your attention. Maybe the pointer you follow today is the last piece of the puzzle and you realize the folly of all you have previously held as true, that you have taken so seriously. Maybe the latest piece of guidance seems to lead to an absolute dead end. However, following it may have been the best way to have that realization. We have placed a small bet that that is the case. The most important thing is to listen to your inner guidance and to follow it.

How can you know that you are on the right path? Are you listening to your inner guidance and following it? You can’t do better than that. Remember that your inner guidance is for the present. Nothing is forever except the true you. This now may last a short or long time. It is important to stay connected to that inner voice and see what is there for today.  One thing that makes your path unique is that it is custom designed for you by Spirit, by Divinity. Whatever comes to you today is always the perfect thing to nudge you into awakeness. One of my favorite things about duality is that it provides a home for irony. It is so humorous that as long as you want to be special you will stay asleep – because that desire is based on separation, but at the same time your path to awakening is specially unique, different from all others. Your path is special, but so is everyone’s. You are One in your specialness.

If God wanted to create in his likeness a form that is capable of having sensual experiences, three dimensional encounters in this illusion – why didn’t he just make one form? Why not make one human instead of multitudes? We are not trying to speak for God here – that is certainly a fool’s task – but it is fun to play. One could guess that there are so many because each one plays out a unique aspect of the wholeness of God. No one aspect can reflect all of God, but taken all together they make up that Oneness. This is analogous to an orchestra, which depends on each instrument making its unique contribution. But, look at the magnitude of this ensemble! One instrument failing to contribute the sound it has been given keeps the whole from expressing its unity. So, we have a world in seeming chaos, but your only job is to play your note and allow others to find their own.

This brings us to the second, exciting part of this message. If you have the thought that it is all about awakening and that once you are awake nothing else matters, keep reading. Most likely the awakened you will look around and notice that the body is still here. The realization will be present that this body is not you, but it remains to be noticed and “lived” in. The world is still there, too. It is an illusion and is not to be taken seriously, but you are still observing it, sensing it. In that awakened state where you have learned to listen to, trust, and follow your inner guidance, you will continue to do just that. What now is the purpose? That information is also outside of my job description. It is not for me to tell you what your purpose will be in your awakened state. You will have no need for that. You will be guided. I will set the stage though. Is your brother awake? Is your sister awake? Will you look about and notice those that are unconscious of their awakeness? You will be aware of the sleepwalkers and your guidance will suggest what to do about that. I have been telling you that other people’s illusions are none of your business. Your only job is you. Now that you have disappeared, you no longer have a job; you are unemployed. Since there is no you, there are no goals, nothing to be pleased or satisfied. In this uniqueness that is related to the “specialness” that formed your unique path of awakening, you will now have a particular path of expression. You will play your part in this cosmic symphony, and many have been waiting to hear your song. It is all connected. It is all planned. You will touch those other beings that the Oneness, that the Guidance, that the Wholeness, that Spirit, that God, that the Divinity – whatever you wish to call it – wishes you to reach.

That now is your function. That is between you and your creator and is none of my business. My only job is to point the way toward your realization. I am not your guidance. Your guidance might lead you to my voice. It might lead you elsewhere. It doesn’t matter. All roads lead to Rome. It doesn’t matter if you ignore information that could have shortened your trip. Time doesn’t exist. The destination is certain. Your decisions are preordained anyway. No matter how hard you try to be the captain of your ship, you will eventually surrender. Whatever you choose is perfect. Spirit will give you as much line as you need. When you make the decision to surrender to your inner guidance, you will hear it more and more clearly. It will direct your path until you realize that there is no path; there is nowhere to go. There is just the eternal now. No other place to be, no other place existing, and you are there and always have been.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

Is compassion an important tool for awakening?

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Many people would say that on their list of the qualities of a spiritual person, compassion would be near the top. If I were making the list, there would be no top….or bottom. Actually, there would be no list. To describe a spiritual person would be to describe somebody who does not exist, so the only item on my imaginary list of the qualities of a spiritual person would be non-existence, an awareness that they don’t exist as a separate person. But, let us go ahead and look at this term compassion. A common usage of this word is that one feels another’s pain, that there is a loving concern for and/or action in support of those who are suffering. This is usually considered to be an admirable thing. I want to remind you that in duality every action engenders its opposite. Compassionate acts are balanced by “inhumane” acts. This is not mentioned to discourage compassion, only as a reminder that the real changes happen on the inside, not in the world.

There is a great confusion around compassion. If you were to say to another that you are sorry for what they have experienced, that it must be painful and difficult for them – the result can be a reinforcing of the “reality” of the pain and suffering for both of you. Instead of focusing on the mind, driven by fear and guilt, as the true creator of the physical illusion, the resulting manifestation in the world is perceived as the cause of the pain. Everything is reversed. The inmates are running the asylum. If compassion is defined as doing the highest thing to support others in being free of pain, we would be helping them to wake up and realize their Divine nature. We would be supporting them in letting go of the illusion, the ego, and the world. The last thing we would want to do would be to agree that they are poor victims and to make the world real for them. The question then becomes one of wondering what the highest action is that you could take in that moment. The first answer to this, if you are human, is you don’t have a clue. You observe only with your senses. You see with eyes that tell you that objects are really there. Your other four senses also reinforce the “reality” of the physical. The only way to come to any knowing is to admit that you don’t know anything. You give it to Spirit. Let Spirit guide you.

To begin with, if you are seeing somebody as a victim….stop! That is never compassionate; it is an attack. They are saying they deserve punishment and you are in agreement. The last thing you want is for them to hold on to their victimhood, pain and suffering. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you point out how self-destructive they are being. That often won’t help them wake up, but may help drive them deeper into helplessness and stimulate them to take a poke at you. No, your first job is to not see them as a victim. If you are perceiving them as such, bring that to Spirit for forgiveness (remember nothing has really happened here, so there is nothing to forgive). Notice that this is the classroom they have been presented with. This is part of their wake up call. Nobody wakes up without facing their fears, without going through painful experiences. If you try to diffuse their painful experience and deny them an opportunity to face their false fear and wake up, how compassionate is that? Not only are you willing for them to stay in hell, but you are offering to accompany them. It is not a choice between reinforcing their suffering or educating them that there is nothing to worry about. The realization for you to have, as a human, is that none of it is your business. It is not for you to figure out how to be compassionate; it is only about how you can wake up. Whose eyes are you looking at all of this through? This is not about their situation; this is all about you. This is your projection. What ego part of you is seeing your projection as real? Are you feeling sorry for the other, and therefore for yourself? Or are you looking through the eyes of Spirit and seeing that none of this is real; it is not really happening. Nothing needs to be changed or fixed or healed. The only job is to stay there with Spirit looking at everything from above the battleground. What you end up doing is of little importance. How you hold what you do is paramount. Let Spirit guide you. Have no attachment to results. Remember, it is none of your business. You are at best an ignorant messenger.

As long as you think it is about them and not about you, you will not hear Spirit. Ego will be your guide. If you think you are doing the compassionate thing, that is just ego telling you how you are special – which keeps you separate from the unconditional love of God which knows no specialness, makes no judgments, sees no differences or separations. An alternative definition of compassion might be to feel Oneness with another. This can only be achieved by eliminating all separation. If you feel that they have a problem but you don’t, that is separation, not Oneness. Oneness would recognize that what you perceive in another is what is truly in you. If you see another being in pain, it is you who are truly in pain. That is Oneness. If you can take it to the next level and realize that we are all One with God, then none of this pain or separation is real. You can recognize the Oneness you share of being Divine beings who are asleep and believing in the illusion, that you are both in the process of awakening. The true use of compassion would be that realization, the knowing that their pain and your pain are not real, despite the “reality” your physical senses report. So let go of trying to be compassionate and instead try to see the truth. Try to see through Spirit’s eyes.

The most important point for you in this discussion is the encouragement to give up the ideal of compassionate behavior, of either being or having a savior. You cannot wake anybody else up. Only Spirit can awaken you. It is hard work letting go of the ego. Nobody can do it for you, nor can you do it for anybody else. Heroics are an ego game. You have but one job and that is to wake up. As an awakened being you fully know that none of this is real, that there is nothing anybody needs to be saved from. Short of that awareness it is a case of the blind leading the blind. Don’t be looking for a compassionate savior. You don’t need saving. You need to face the truth. If somebody rubs your face in that need, try to be grateful. It was a conscious or, more likely, unconscious act of compassion. It is your classroom.

If you were fully awakened, you would not likely be in a body, nor would you be reading this. Most likely you are looking through ego’s eyes. Not to worry. You have noticed what you are doing. Bring it to Spirit to help you forgive and let it go. Let Spirit guide your next step. Maybe Spirit guides you to an act or to words that don’t feel compassionate to you. Not feeling compassionate is of the ego. Worrying about how others may perceive and judge you is of the ego. Let it go. The most compassionate action in any moment is the one that most encourages awakening. Remember, you don’t have a clue what that action might be. The ego is not to be trusted, but it is the first voice you will likely hear. So, bring it to Spirit. Ask for help in releasing your judgments and in forgiving. Deal within yourself with all of these thoughts of victimhood and victimizers, pain and suffering. That is all yours. It is a heavy load to carry. Spirit will take it off your shoulders. If you succeed in giving it all to Spirit you will look at another and see only a Divine Child of God in the process of awakening. You would see yourself without judgment or guilt. You would surrender to that Oneness and allow yourself to be used without thought of what that should look like. No attachment to the action/inaction, the reception of the action/inaction, or the end result would register. If that isn’t happening just bring everything back to Spirit – over and over. You are already home with God. Your full realization of that is inevitable.

Good Now

Sanhia

How can I become One with God?

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A common statement or intention expressed through many spiritual disciplines is that of becoming one with God. People ask me,”What in the hell does that mean, Sanhia? And even if I think I have some idea of what it means, how could I possibly achieve that?” There are so many fun ways we could answer this question, so let’s see how many roads we can go down (How many roads can a man go down before they call him God?). “How do I become one with God?” is one of those nonsense questions. To be horribly trite, it is like asking a fish how to become one with water. You are now one with God. You have always been one with God. There is no time, no past, no present. You simply are one with God. You could not be anything else. That’s just how it is. Well, that was a short message! ….. Okay, we’ll go on to the next part. Being one with God without being aware of being one with God is not so desirable. When you have a fight with your partner it does not feel like you are one with God. When you are stuck in traffic it does not feel like being one with God. When you listen to or read the news it certainly doesn’t feel like you are one with God. So, I ‘m guessing you want to know a little more about the realizing side of this reality.

We have told this old story before, so I’m not going to go into great detail about it, but let me give you just the outline. The story goes like this: God created you in His own image…..which makes you an angry old man. Wait, that’s not the right story…..that is the one about you creating God in your own image. This means that you have no physicalness; the truth of you is absolutely one and in unity with God. At the same time you are not God, but are the Son. You did not create yourself. Like God you have no beginning or end, because there is no time. You simply are. In your infinite creativity you had a thought, a crazy, mad thought. “What if I could create something separate from God, something apart from God, something God didn’t know about?” That thought took off like a runaway train. Part of you disappeared into that idea. That part decided to create an identity, uniqueness, specialness. That all seemed like a great deal of fun; it seemed absolutely fantastic. The truth, however, was that no, you couldn’t do that. You are one with God, You are absolutely connected. There is no part of you that isn’t a part of God. God is everything; nothing could be created separate from that. So that mad idea couldn’t create anything real. It remained an idea. The universe it spawned was not real, only an idea. As you birthed this idea, you, the One Son, splintered into millions, billions of pieces – each one with an identity separate from the others. This allowed you to create this imaginary universe of specialness. Well, we all know how that worked out. It’s so funny; you have to join me in laughing at all of this. You created your specialness, your individuality, your separation from God and you discovered it was a terrifying place to be. Alone! In pain! Having to defend yourself constantly! That’s how it feels for the human believing he is separate from God. So the question is not one of how you become one with God, it is one of how to remember who you really are – that you are one with God. You cannot create what already is; you can only deny it. You have spent eons in that denial out of the fear of God’s anger. You project that He wants to get revenge for your abandonment of Him. Some of you take this denial into a place where you convince yourself there is no God, therefore nobody to punish you. This only frees you to stay here perpetually in the hell of your creation with no way out. This is the planet of free suffering. I hope you are still laughing with me here.

Now we come to the really meaty part of this message. You know about this work. You have an understanding about the importance of forgiveness, stopping the blind adherence to ego, listening to that soft, gentle, humorous, loving voice of Spirit, and letting that voice guide you home. To some degree or other, with whatever amount of dissociation (remember last month’s message) that is involved in your process, you are slowly waking up to the awareness of this truth of yourself as one with God. I want to tell you about the biggest crevice you have to leap over, the largest challenge you face. Some of you have felt this already. For some it is so scary I almost hate to tell you about it. You might not sleep well tonight. But, then you probably aren’t sleeping well anyway. If you look this fear straight in the face, you might begin to sleep better. Well, here it goes. You came into this illusion, into this dream or this nightmare, with your own personal identity. The only way out of this dream or nightmare is to leave your personal identity at the door as you exit. You can’t take it with you. Your personal identity is your separation from God, not to speak of the rest of the Son-ship. To realize your oneness with God you have to abandon this illusion of having a separate identity. Otherwise you keep cycling around in this place that feels so distant from heaven, so far away from home. You remain with the pain, the suffering, and the guilt that we have talked about so many times, that you are so familiar with. But! And here is the crux of the matter. Giving up your personal identity feels like a permanent death, not death as in death and rebirth, or reincarnation. This is the black hole death, the void. This is the nothingness, the terror that the ego feeds in you. Actually it is the ego that will die, because it exists only in separation. This fear tells you that you have no existence outside of your personal identity. The truth is just the opposite; you have no real existence in your personal identity. You want to feel nothing but love, but that is not possible here. You want to feel unconditional acceptance, to experience that you are absolutely guilt free. That cannot be accomplished without releasing the separation of your personal identity. Each one of you will do that eventually.

You have had other lifetimes where you had different names and different bodies, perhaps a different gender, race, or religion. None of those things are you. You are not this name that calls you to dinner. It has nothing to do with you. It is like you have come to a strange planet knowing nothing about it and you pick up a foreign object wondering what it is and you make up a name for it. Let’s say you call it glook. So, to you it is a glook, but it is not. That is simply a name you have given to something that doesn’t really exist. You are not your name.  You are not your body. You can keep trading these bodies in. There is only one thing you truly carry with you from lifetime to lifetime; that is your guilt. You can be certain that as long as you hold on to your identity, your guilt will be waiting for you in the next infant version of your separation that comes flying down the tube, or more likely is reluctantly pulled from the womb, from not your true mother into not your true home. The guilt and the fear will be right there with you. That’s all that you carry with you. This identity that you hold as so valuable is your pain and suffering.

Sooner or later the weight of that will be so strong, you will be so exhausted by it, that you will be ready to let it go. If that day is approaching for you, I can give you a few hints to make it easier. Whenever you see another and see them as different from you, remind yourself that they are not. Remind yourself that there are only two things that all humans ever express. They either say “I love you” or “Help me”. That’s all they do. That’s all you do. You are all exactly the same. If you meet somebody today and you do not feel “I love you” coming from them, they are crying out for help. If you have a hard time receiving that plea it is because they are your mirror. You are projecting your cry for help onto them. Thank them for being a fellow traveler in pain. It’s not your job to remove their pain; your job is to remove yours. Thank them for the reminder and stop the separation. Give up pointing at them, making them to be the one in pain. Don’t blame them. Don’t make them the asshole. Don’t make them the cause of their problems, or yours. Don’t feed the separation. Don’t allow yourself to feel superior…”well at least I’m not as bad off as they are”. Every time you choose separation, you choose to remain in hell. Every time! Pretty silly isn’t it. As we look at it together, isn’t that a really funny thing? You think it is somebody else when it is really yourself. You could choose to forgive and love, but you have chosen to project and blame. And then it hurts you! And all the time you pretend not to be doing it. You have to see the humor in that, so laugh with me and let it go. Forgive yourself and the other.

You are all in this together. That’s why we suggest that you be as kind as you can with each other. When you are kind to another you are kind to yourself. When you are kind to yourself you may actually reach the point of realizing your innocence, that you don’t deserve punishment. If you look out at one other, just one person, and think he is guilty and should be punished – you can look at the other six billion and see them all as innocent – that one is you. That is you that you want to send to hell. It just takes one, but let’s be honest – there is more than one such person for you. Each one of them you wish to see punished is you. So funny! Laugh again with me. So simple! The ego wants you to stay in separation, in guilt, in pain; Spirit wants to wake you up, bring you home to the love of God. It’s not a hard call to make. Come here with us. We will look at everything with you and help you to laugh. And always, as always……remember…..

God Blesses You

Sanhia

Why is it so difficult to let go of the illusion of the world?

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Most people have this experience – we could call it schizophrenia – where on the one hand they understand the spiritual truth of pure non-dualism on a mental level; they read these messages and have read and studied A Course in Miracles, perhaps multiple times. That side of them believes in the truth of oneness with Spirit and with God and correspondingly disbelieves in the ego and the reality of the physical world. Yet when it comes to the push and shove of daily life, they seem to live in another world.  There appears to be such a split. They ask, “Why, Sanhia, is it so hard for me to live the truth? Why do I know that it is all a dream, and yet take the dream so seriously and get upset and angry, am filled with judgment, pain hurt, fear, and feelings of victimhood. I know it’s not real, but I am still overwhelmed by all of these feelings! Why Sanhia? Why? Can you help me?” I can’t help you because there is no problem here. I hope you are laughing with me now. You are just being human and cannot be expected to be behaving any differently.

There is a term that psychologists use that goes back to Freud called dissociation. Freud also talked about projection, where people assign their own self judgments to others so that they can live with themselves (though probably not so happily). Jesus also told us all about this phenomenon. Dissociation can be described or explained in the following way: you want to change your life, to change your experience of things, to give up all of the pain and suffering and to implement a new plan; but a part of you disconnects from that new plan and does the same old thing. You sabotage your own strongly desired program. The old story simply continues to run your life with all of the old pain and suffering included. Even though you consciously say that you don’t want this, you keep doing it. That is dissociation; that is schizophrenia. In therapy, you have decided on a course of treatment, but you don’t seem to be able to carry it out. In spiritual healing, you decide to listen to Spirit instead of the ego, but the ego keeps running things.

Why would anybody do that? Why would they act against their own self interest? The short answer is, “because the ego made me do it”. A slightly longer version is that it is more comfortable to keep choosing the ego. It could be said that the known devil is preferable to the unknown devil. So far you have all survived while listening to the ego. It may have been painful, but it is familiar. It is comfortable like your old clothes. A big part of you doesn’t want to let go of that. And…what is this unknown? What would you be letting go of the ego for?

Before answering that question, let’s take a giant step backwards. As a child you often felt pretty helpless in a hostile world. Your protection was to build a wall and hide behind it. You didn’t let anybody penetrate that wall. In your private world you were an innocent victim of your parents, teachers, siblings, neighborhood bullies, and whoever else seemed to be more powerful than you. You blamed them for your troubles, and forgiveness was out of the question. The truth behind your wall and behind everybody’s walls was that you were terrified of God. This fear felt too dangerous to face, so you hid it, even from yourself. In this way you could pretend that God would take pity on you and punish those who were so harsh to you. The only problem was that none of that was true. You now have the spiritual awareness of why it wasn’t true and why it ultimately wouldn’t work for you then, or now. But, you also have this habit, and it seems to have kept you alive.

So, you are not just letting go of the ego; you have to tear down this entire wall that has seemed to protect you, though at an increasingly high cost.  And what are you getting in exchange?  You are willing to give up the pain, the fear, the suffering, the anger, the judgment, and the victimhood. You will also be giving up your personal identity, which is absolutely tied up in all of this. For you to fully release the illusion, you will have to fully release your attachment to your separate identity. This is fertile ground for the ego to grab hold of. Are you sure you are ready to do that? To become One with God and Spirit it is necessary to lose your uniqueness, to lose your sense of self, this sense of you. That is what letting go of the ego entails. What you do then, unconsciously of course, is to keep a foot in each camp. On the one hand you keep your spiritual disciple going through reading, studying, affirming, and asking Spirit for support. On the other hand you keep the other foot firmly planted in the ego’s camp, holding on to your specialness and that of others. So you have your support group of people you judge as specially good and the opposition group which is specially bad. You have special love and special hate. You hold that for yourself as well. You tell yourself all of the things that make you a special person: you are on a spiritual path, you recycle and care for the environment, you are against war, and you try to help the disadvantaged, and so on. You pat yourself on the back for being good. Then your special hate for yourself surfaces and you judge yourself for failing to be perfect with your spiritual practice, for not eating well enough, for losing your temper, for catching yourself judging, and so on. So you bounce back and forth between being so enlightened and being such an asshole who will never get it.

Boy does ego like all of this back and forth crap. If you choose Spirit you have to let go of it all, the special hate and the special love. This is enormous. It is bigger than your separated mind can even hold on to. That’s how big it is. The fear is gargantuan. There is no way that you can survive it. Sanhia! What are you saying?  I mean that you as a separated, individual self cannot survive. If you let go of the ego comfort zone and pull that foot out of the game you will leave your personal identity and fall back into the Oneness of God. Sooner or later you will have to do this, but right now you are driving with a heavy foot on the brakes. The only choice you have is for how long and how slowly you want to rip that bandage off. The fear is usually way too big to rip it all off at once. For one thing you have no idea how long the bandage is, nor how many hairs will have to be ripped out. Beyond that, you have no idea what replaces the bandage and the accompanying pain. You know what a separate self feels like, but Oneness can feel like it might be an endless void. You have no conception of what the experience of “no you” is like.

Spirit demands nothing. You will never be forced to come home. Spirit knows that of course you dissociate. Of course you try to maintain your separate self. That’s what humans do. No problem. There is nothing you have to do about it. You are not wrong to continue, nor are you right to stop. But since you do want to listen, Spirit whispers to you to notice that you dissociate. Then Spirit suggests that you have a willingness to look right at the areas where you have a special hate toward yourself or others. If you say to me that you don’t have any hate for anybody, I suggest you are dissociating. It is fear provoking to admit your hate and judgment. Everybody in a body carries hate. It goes with the territory. You hate yourself for separating from God or you project that hate onto God for abandoning you. The fear is that if the hate is exposed, God will punish you. That is an insane thought, expecting something God is not capable of. But, if you pretend it is not there, you can’t deal with it. It remains hidden behind your wall and you stay in the hell of separation. Part of dissociation is pretending you are healed when you are not, pretending that you don’t have a problem. The ego here might suggest to you that since the problem isn’t real, there is no reason to look at it. But, you believe it is real. So, look right at it.

You look at it, not because you have a work that you have to do to transform this fear, but simply in recognition that you have a judgment. Notice that you have this judgment, this anger, this hate; become aware that you feel you are a victim, that you blame this person, that you blame yourself, and on and on. Just be conscious that you are doing that. Bring that to me. Bring that to Spirit. We’ll look at it together. That’s all you have to do. When you look at what is not real side-by-side with what is real, only the truth will eventually remain. The fear will disappear, will evaporate, will be burned away. This is like the second step in the five-step process. Love and fear cannot long occupy the same space. Do this throughout the day. Whenever you notice yourself experiencing any of the aforementioned manifestations of fear and separation, don’t try to hide or ignore what you are feeling or believing. On the other hand, don’t accept it in helpless self hatred. Look right at it and invite me, invite Spirit in at that moment. Ask us to look at it with you. Let go of the judgment and just look with us. This can be called “looking down upon the battlefield”. We will see you acting from this dispassionate viewpoint. We will remind you of your innocence and that you are unconditionally loved. As we watch together, you will become aware that you are the only one judging, and will realize there is no benefit to you from continuing, but plenty to gain from loving yourself. The fear is too great to face alone. Fortunately, you are never alone. You are always welcome to come join with us. Welcome us in. Invite us to gently shake you and to point out when you are dissociating. Allow us to remind you that it is safe to bring those judgments out into the open with us.

Good Now

Sanhia

Is it part of my purpose to help heal others?

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As you are working with your spiritual process, with realizing your Divinity, with noticing you are listening to a voice, with learning to discern whether it is Spirit or the ego you are listening to, and with learning to hear, trust, and follow Spirit – as you are doing all of these things and you look around at your friends, relatives, co-workers, and perhaps even strangers – you notice that they are making what seems to you to be wrong choices. They may seem to be acting in ways that bring them pain and confusion as they listen to the ego and make the illusion real. A very natural reaction you may likely have is to say to yourself, “Oh, if they only knew what they were doing!” You think that perhaps you can be of help to them. You could point out how they are listening to the ego, how what they are seeing isn’t real, how their choices cannot work out for them. You may wonder if that is part of your path. As you are gaining wisdom, should you be sharing it with those around you? My answer to this is a very simple and clear “No”. That is not your job. That is my job. That is Spirit’s job. It is not your job. Perhaps that is not what you wanted to hear. Or maybe you are letting go a sigh of relief.

Let me explain why healing others is not your job. There are myriad reasons, so I will wander about and touch on this and that. I will begin by reminding that when you want to intercede when observing another in pain – what you are seeing is you. This is where the voice of the ego in you likely goes crazy and says, “No! That is them.” No, this is your creation. Do not confuse the cause and the effect. Whatever you see in the world is your creation. Everything is created by your mind. You are not a disconnected observer. What you see is born in your mind, not in the world. So, everything in the world is your mirror. When you see another choosing ego, it is you choosing ego. The work, then, is not to fix them, but to heal yourself. Your only job, your only purpose for being here, is to heal yourself. You have no responsibility for dealing with what you perceive as others’ challenges or problems.

Now, your mind may be asking, “But, what if they ask me for help?” That is a different question. Any requests you receive for support are to be given to Spirit. Allow Spirit to speak through you. Trust what comes and share it with the one who has requested support. Then, let it go. Have no attachment to it being heard, received, or acted on in the “right” way. That is none of your business. Your only job is to share what Spirit gives to you and let it go.

When you perceive that another has a challenge or might not be choosing in the highest way, what is truly going on is that you are judging them. This can feel like a thin line, discerning what is noticing and what is judging. If any kind of emotional reaction is present, know that judgment is involved. This can include positive as well as negative emotions. Let’s take it a step further. The truth of the other is that they are Divine, as are you. Any lack you perceive in them is an expression of denial of their Divinity. Thus, you are saying that you, also, are not really Divine. A good rule of thumb to use when looking at others is that if you cannot make your perception true for all others, it is not true. To judge one person for something you do not judge another for is to create separation. When you separate any son of God from another, you separate yourself from God. You could, instead, think in the following fashion. When you observe someone acting from the ego, you can say that they are not fully awake yet. That is true of all who are in the human condition, including yourself. To single out one individual as separate from God, while holding another as special or connected to God, creates the illusion of separation and cannot be a true observation. God is unity and Oneness. Any differences come from separation and the ego. As soon as you label any one person as out of balance, you have separated yourself from them and from God. In truth, of course, you are never separate from God, but this is your human experience.

If you wish to realize the truth of your Oneness with God and to let go of this physical illusion, don’t ever take on the cloak of the wise teacher, of being the healer. That is not your job. That, again, does not mean that Spirit may not use you, but it is for Spirit to decide. In truth, you cannot help but to teach what you have learned, but you will do this through your surrender to Spirit. Your job is not to teach, but to learn. If you are in doubt whether the words you receive are coming from Spirit, say nothing. The same words can come from the voice of ego or Spirit. What matters is if pure love is behind them. If you are unsure whether it is your ego or the voice of Spirit wishing to express, err on the side of discernment and caution. Give your doubt and confusion to Spirit. Continue to give to Spirit all of your perceptions of pain or fear or doubt or victimization or victimizing that you see expressed through others. Your task is to love them unconditionally and see yourself as one with them. If that is too great a challenge in the moment, it is no biggie. Give it to Spirit. You are the one crying out for help. When you turn the situation over to Spirit, you don’t tell Him how you want things handled. If you have any expectations about results, you have not let go, have not truly given it to Spirit. Remember that thinking you knew better than God is what got you here in the first place. Maybe Spirit has a message for you to share, maybe not. It is not your business. It does not matter what is going on in the world. That is effect not cause.

Your business is to heal your separation. You do this through forgiveness and reminding yourself of your innocence, not by noticing the log in your neighbor’s eye. Your healing will never be realized through projection. Own everything you see as yours; ask Spirit to help you forgive yourself and open to God’s love. You become frantic to heal the other, because you are frantic to heal yourself. When you try to heal the shadow rather than changing the projector you cannot succeed. At best, you end up with good slapstick comedy. Remember that it is never about the form. It is never about what appears to you to be going on in the world. It is always about the content of your mind. Is your focus on the truth of your Divinity, your innocence, on you being unconditionally loved by God – or – is it on your fear and guilt, on the belief that you have been kicked out of heaven, on trying to please God? It is never about fixing the world. It is not about saying the right words at the right time to the right person. None of that matters. Yes, Spirit will use humans in the process of ending the illusion, but it never matters when or how. The end is already certain. It was decided before any present perception, words, or actions transpire. When you speak with the influence of the ego there will be a shadow of judgment in your voice or an attachment to the end result. You may feel the listener must follow your advice to a successful conclusion or you have both failed. When influenced by Spirit you may never know why He has used you, what the purpose is. Let go of any need to know.

Your job is not to do “good”. Good is one half of the duality and we all know what the other half is. One cannot exist without the other. Love does not recognize good or evil. It shines on all until everything is dissolved but truth. The reason you want to heal another is your desire to be rewarded by God. God may then single you out for redemption because you are better than another. How fortunate that you noticed their failure so that you can help them because you are better than them. Look God! No hands! Your imagined redemption comes only after you see your absolute equality with every Son of God. God doesn’t need your help. Let go of thinking you have a better way. Be humble. Give up your need to be an individual, to stand out, to be better. Just be. Instead of healing another, simply be kind to them; be loving. That’s what God does. No matter how many times you fall on your face, you are loved beyond measure. No matter what you do or feel or say…

God Blesses You

Sanhia

What is the difference between a special and a holy relationship?

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One of the goals of most people, including those on a consciously chosen spiritual path, is to find that special relationship, that special person, that soul mate that completes you. My job today is to throw cold water on that dream. This topic, like many we discuss, could be covered in book length form, but we will narrow the focus to making a few observations.

Let’s start at a basic level. A pattern that tends to happen in relationships is that you are attracted to another person for certain qualities that they seem to have. Perhaps it is a physical attraction; you like the way they look. It might be their smile or there is an incredible sexual energy between the two of you. Maybe you are drawn to them intellectually; you like the way they think and you enjoy talking together. It may be common interests that draw you together – you share a love for music or the outdoors. Perhaps the connecting bond is of a more spiritual nature. In all likelihood, it is some combination of these different possibilities. What commonly happens is that the thing that initially attracted you eventually becomes an issue that you have difficulty dealing with. What you once loved now gets under your skin. Perhaps you then decide to leave and try another relationship. You go through the same cycle again and again. Or at some point you might decide to settle with the relationship you are in, rationalizing that overall, the pluses overrule the minuses. Maybe you have a lot of time invested in the relationship, and/or children, and/or shared property or a business. But these days, people are more likely to leave, choosing a relationship that fits them better.

Why does this pattern occur? Why don’t we just fall in live and live together happily ever after? Let’s focus on two reasons. First, as we mentioned, you are drawn to this other person because of certain qualities they possess. You want them to continue to be that way, to please you as they initially did. This is what we call conditional love – as opposed to loving them simply for whom they are, allowing their sense of identity and person-hood to evolve and change. Instead you love them for whom you perceive them to be, and if they perform in any other way you are upset and feel betrayed. Then you may begin to look around. The truth is that they never were who you thought they were. You projected upon the other person what you wanted to see. Conditional love is the first major roadblock to creating a successful relationship. The other person is not acting as you wish them to; this is not acceptable.

The second challenge is a little more subtle. You are looking for someone to make you whole. There may be thoughts such as “I can’t live without you”, or “You are my better half”, or “We complete each other”. You are thereby expressing the judgment that in order to be truly happy, you require someone else’s loving approval. We call that codependency. You depend on somebody else to be satisfied. You have a need for the other, which brings on an anger directed at them for that dependency. It is a place where you can’t win. Part of you wants to push the other away and the other part can’t live without them and wants to hold on. It sounds pretty hopeless and sad. How can one ever have a successful relationship?

The relationships we have been talking about are special relationships. You hold the other as being more special than all other people. It’s the flip side of you not being enough. You make them more than enough, so they must eventually let you down. You are not seeing yourself as divine. You cannot experience your divinity and, at the same time, have a need for a special relationship. Special relationships are built upon your fear of and separation from God. They stem from the belief that you have to be special in order for God to forgive you. Since God never judged you, no amount of specialness will do the trick. There is no need to earn forgiveness. God loves you unconditionally. However, the ego believes that if you can find somebody special who also believes that you are special, maybe God can find you special, too. If that specialness ceases to exist, what is God going to do to you?

The resolution of this quagmire is in seeking a holy relationship rather than a special one. A holy relationship is grounded in unconditional love. You have no expectations for the other person; you hold no judgments. No matter what your partner does, you love and accept them. This thought brings terror to the hearts of most people. It brings on fears of being a helpless victim. I want to remind you that your partner is your mirror. Whatever you judge in them, you judge in yourself. You can use your desire to control or change them to instead forgive and love yourself for whatever it is you perceive in them. Acknowledge that this is you. The ego wants to pretend it is not. The ego wants to point the finger so that you can stay special in God’s eye. The ego wants the other to be the one punished. Take responsibility. Acknowledge that this is you and forgive yourself and your partner.

Accept that your record in choosing partners has been less than stellar. Give the job of attracting your next partner to Spirit. Your holy partner will have one function and one function only. That is to be aligned with you in realizing personal divinity. It is possible for you to have a holy relationship where your partner does not share that intention, but it puts all the weight on your shoulder because your partner is expecting a special relationship. For you to act in the “right” way for them all of the time will be a major challenge for you. They will not be happy to find you choosing God over them.

I will tell you quite honestly that if your intention is to be absolutely true to yourself and to love yourself unconditionally in order to realize your divinity, you have a real challenge to accomplish that within any relationship. There are few models out there in how to behave in a holy relationship. The mass consciousness only shows you special relationships as the ideal. In fact, you may find this work easier to do when you are not in a relationship. It is said that when the student is ready the teacher will appear. I will modify that to say that when the person on the ascension path is ready, the partner will appear. Many of you have this thinking reversed. You seek the partner first, who will magically bring you to heaven, rather than first becoming what you wish to attract. When you get to the point where you realize you don’t need a partner to support your spiritual growth, you may attract one. Neediness will only attract a special relationship.

All that has been said up to this point is here to support you in being able to make the choice for a holy relationship. Once you have made that choice, you are really on your own. As mentioned, there are no models out there for how to proceed. You don’t know how to behave in a holy relationship. The only thing certain is that the ego will struggle to salvage something special out of it. All that you can do is to notice moment by moment where you have attachment to anything about your partner or the relationship and give it to Spirit. The holy relationship is fully guided by Spirit, as the special relationship is guided by the ego. To give yourself a fighting chance in your holy relationship, it is helpful if your partner and you have this as a shared, expressed intention and agreement between you. In this way you travel through the darkness together. You did not create this illusion and physical body to be experienced alone. You created other people so that you could project your guilt and fear on them. By yourself you could live in the illusion that none of that exists, but when you are in the presence of others, your judgments are inescapable. This allows you to see them and to take ownership of them. Your partner is always going to fulfill this function for you above all others.

When you intentionally take on the holy relationship, you learn to take 100% responsibility for everything that happens. If you allow yourself to be a victim to or in blame of your partner about anything, you are in illusion and denial. This is the challenge. It is also a great gift and a great opportunity. When two people choose to have a holy relationship, the ascension process is accelerated for each of them. It supports both in looking at the truth and in doing the required work. The irony and ecstasy of it all is that when you release the expectations of conditional love, you open up the possibility of enjoying full and complete happiness in the relationship. There is no limit to the upside of a holy relationship. The downside is no different than that of a special relationship. But, you have the momentum with you that comes from having chosen a holy relationship. Spirit is always there to support you. The perfect thing is always happening in your holy relationship to support your realization of your divinity. The only commitment that you can truly make in a holy relationship is to see divinity in your partner and in yourself in every moment, and to forgive and let go of anything that does not live up to that. That is God’s relationship with you always, except that there is no work involved for God. He always sees you as perfect.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

What if my “old stories” are good ones?

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We have talked many times about changing your “old stories”, taking responsibility for the things that trigger pain and suffering in your life, and facing the fears connected to those stories using the five-step process. Many of you have done wonderful work in transforming these fears and experiencing more love and peace in your lives. This message is for you. If you have not yet chosen to take responsibility for your “old stories“, doing so may be the next step for you. For the rest of you, please read on.

It is not only the fear-based “old stories” that keep you stuck.  All of your stories keep you mired. What do you mean by that Sanhia? There are stories that give you a positive feeling, stories like: “My intelligence is a great asset”, “I am good at healing my body”, “People like me and I get along well with others”, “I am beautiful (handsome)”, or “I have a wonderful primary relationship”. These are things that others might look on with envy. You may look at them and say that even though you have pain and crap in your life, you have this to feel good about. All of these feelings stand in the way of realizing your ascension.

We have talked some before about special relationships. It is not our purpose to go into that subject today, though we intend to cover it more fully in a future message. When you like things about yourself, as we have just described, or are happy about how things are working out in your life, it is like having a special relationship with yourself. You are seeing yourself as special. As with the sad stories, there is a basis of comparison. With the painful stories there is a sense that others are faring better than you are. With the success stories or positive qualities there is a comparison with those who have less. What you are creating is a sense of being special or different, whether that difference is felt as a positive or a negative. Behind all of this is a desire for God to notice how special you are. You are so special that God doesn’t have to punish you now. Either you are so good that God will want to reward you, or you are so bad that you are already punishing yourself (or is it God who is already punishing you?). These are just two sides of the same coin. The special relationship is the same as the un-special relationship. Neither is holy. They are either especially good or especially bad. But the holy relationship is divine and perfect as it is. You are perfect as you are.

You can thank Spirit for gifting you with whatever seems positive so that you can use it to realize your divinity, as you can also give thanks for whatever seems to bring you fear and pain, so that you can use it to realize the truth of who you are. The truth of you has nothing to do with your positive attributes or with your perceived weaknesses. You are absolutely divine and perfect as you are. Anything that seems to differentiate you from another is simply a gift from Spirit to support you in the realizing of your divinity and to offer as a gift to others in realizing their divinity. It is not that you can help others because you are so evolved; rather you thank Spirit for what is given you, knowing that the receiving is always connected with the giving to others. If you accepted the fullness of God’s love, you would give it to others. If you allowed yourself to receive the fullness of God’s love, you would realize your ascension. We do call you ascended now, because this love is always coming to you, at every moment of every day. It is only a question of your willingness to receive it.

When you hold yourself as special, you are holding yourself separate from others and from God. You are unable to receive the fullness of God’s love. You may feel that you don’t deserve it or you might think you are so good that you don’t need God. That is what got you here in the first place. That is the oldest story. It is even older than the story that you are not worthy and God is going to punish you. It is the story that you don’t need God. It is the crazy idea that you can create on your own, separate from God. That is the ego’s voice. When you have stories of being good at something, you are listening to the ego’s story. It is the ego saying you don’t need God.

As you let go of this story that you are so smart and competent, you don’t replace it with being so dumb and helpless. That is the ego, too. The Holy Spirit simply says “I am”. And that’s it. Nothing else is the truth of you. Or, if you wish, “I am love” or “I am loved”. Anything else is there to separate you from others and from God, and you are guaranteed to stay in hell until you let there be only God.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

 

How should I celebrate Christmas?

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I would like to talk about Christmas. This is the most important holiday in the western world. That is a confusing thing for some people, perhaps for many. Christmas is supposed to be a celebration of the birth of Jesus. However, Jesus was a Pisces and was born in March of 4 BC. Yes, that’s right. He was born four years ”Before Christ”. The Christian religion, however, chose December to celebrate Jesus’s birth. We want to state very clearly that Jesus had nothing whatsoever to do with the establishment of Christianity. We’ll discuss more about that, later. The reason the holiday is observed in December is that as Christianity was developing and spreading in Europe, one of the most significant existing festivals had to do with the return of the light. This was more important in ancient agrarian times than it is today. Now you can always go to the store or open the refrigerator to find food. In those days there was only what had been saved from the previous harvest, along with any successes from hunting. It would be a long time until things began to grow again in the spring. In December the light was scarce, it was cold, and there was often concern about how long the food would last. The midwinter solstice was the longest night of the year. From then on, the light began to return. This brought about optimism and a revelry. There was fear about the dark and this festival expressed the hope that there would eventually be warmth, then growth and more food. Christianity co-opted this celebration, but chose to keep many of the old elements intact. That is why there are Christmas trees, elfish beings, lights, feasts, and more. That is why we have this holiday.

Let us take a look at Jesus. Certainly, the word Christmas contains” Christ”. Whether or not you consider yourself to be a Christian, and whether or not you believe in Jesus’s existence or divinity, you are well aware that Jesus is the reason for the holiday. As I have said, Jesus did not begin Christianity, and he would not have done so. The religion is not representative of his teachings. There is a small amount of Jesus that can be found there. If you read through the New Testament and look at the words that are attributed to him, perhaps twenty percent of them are in the ballpark of something he might have said. There are an equal number of things that are absolutely opposed to anything Jesus taught. Absolutely opposed. How do you know which is which? If you read those words – in some Bibles the words attributed to Jesus are in red, like someone has highlighted the juicy parts for you – take a deep breath after each statement and ask yourself if this fills you with feelings of unconditional love and lifts you up. Or, does it cause you to feel guilt or fear? If it does the latter, it is probably not an accurate representation of Jesus’s real words. When in doubt, throw it out.

I will tell you what I know about Jesus, both from being his disciple in my lifetime as Thomas and also from what I learned after he was no longer directly in my life (lives). I did write down many of the things that I heard him say. These writings have been referred to as The Gospel of Thomas, which was found in the 1940’s along with other ancient scrolls in the Egyptian desert. But, that version is not mine. That transcript had gone through several re-writings. Perhaps half of what is there was close to what I had written. Again, use your own guidance if you read this text. Coming back to Jesus – there are some things to say about him that are absolutely true, and that he said himself. He taught over and over that the way to find heaven was through unconditional love. It was not about doing ”right” things over ”wrong” things. It was not about judging or being judged. It was about being in a state of love. He also said that he was a child of God, created by God. He said that we were just the same as him, that we are no different. He was to us as an older brother, with more experience and wisdom, who was further along the path. Jesus saw the divinity in each person, whether or not the person was capable of recognizing that divinity. He did not teach that there were rules to be followed. He didn’t speak of the Ten Commandments. He did not make any statements about what people should do. He did not speak about roles that women should take in society, as opposed to men. He did not differentiate between people based on their religion, sexual orientation, state of servitude, or race. His primary tenets were unconditional love, forgiveness, and the honoring of personal divinity.

That is what can be celebrated at Christmas. It is not about the birth of a savior. Jesus would be the first to tell you that birth was not his beginning. He had always been and always would be, as you have always been and will always be. To make Jesus special, to make Jesus different, would go against the heart of his teaching. He said ”this and more you shall do”, that is, that whatever he did, we are capable of doing…and more! Make Jesus divine in your thoughts, but not at the cost of denying divinity to yourself. The observance of his birth is the celebration of his divine eternal spirit, which is also the honoring of your divine eternal spirit. It is at this time in the darkness of the year, in the coldness and the unfruitfulness of the season, that it can be helpful to reaffirm your divinity, to hold that light in the dark.

There is no need in your spiritual process to pay any attention to Christmas, whatsoever. It’s not necessary. Neither God nor Jesus will frown on you for not honoring the birthday. God does not operate in that way. He honors and celebrates whatever you choose to do and loves you without conditions, as does Jesus. It is for you with your inner guidance, to decide what to do with this day, if anything. But if you are thinking about Christmas, you can use the moment to align yourself with your brother, Jesus, remembering that he holds you always as his equal. His coming was not as a sacrifice, but was as an expression of love. Not only did he not die for your sins, he didn’t recognize your sins. Only you hold on to the energy of that. This can be a wonderful time to light a candle and to see the purity and the brilliance of the light that is you. Or find it in the fire you may be sitting before for warmth. For those of you who find yourself in the southern hemisphere, this celebration might feel more appropriate for you in June, in the dark of your year. However, the memorialization can happen at any time, in any month, or not at all. Follow your own heart. You can celebrate your eternal flame at any time.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia 

How do I deal with the religious conflict in the Middle East?

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We would like to further develop the previous message, What is a spiritual response to a world crisis?, beginning with the history of conflict in the area called the Middle East and how it ties in with religion, particularly the three major monotheistic ones: Christianity, Islam, and Judaism. The story begins with the oldest of the three, Judaism, and the tale, as told in the Old Testament, of Abraham. He was told to take his people to the land that is now Israel, and to begin a new religion that honored the one God. This land was not empty. From the outset we had somebody guided for religious reasons to take over a land that belonged to someone else. This Jewish god demanded obedience; there were severe consequences for breaking his laws. Years later, the story tells us, the Hebrews left and went to Egypt where they became enslaved, then, following generations of captivity, broke free behind Moses’ leadership. Forty years after this, they returned to the “Promised Land” and, again, other people were living there. In the name of god, they fought for and won this land. Over the next 1200 years there was a nearly constant state of war with other religions, mostly not monotheistic, for control of this land.

At times the Jews lost control and were subjugated. This was the case when Jesus was born, with the Romans controlling this land. Jesus was a Jew, we could say a rabbi, and not a Christian. He did not start a religion. But many who were not Jews began to follow some of his ideas, primarily through the influence of Paul. Thus, began the religion called Christianity, which was only loosely based on the words of Jesus. The half of his sayings that were eliminated were partially replaced by the inclusion of Old Testament, or Jewish beliefs. However, the wisdom of Jesus had little to do with the Ten Commandments or the idea of a “chosen people”. Jesus’s message was simply one of unconditional love and of personal divinity, that held everyone as divine. You love your enemy, because in truth you have no enemy. His teaching was at one with my teaching, as he was my teacher. However, historically, Christianity became the wolf in sheep’s clothing. The unconditional love and acceptance of Jesus transformed into a pattern of war and conquest.

Along came Mohammad and Islam, also tracing their roots to Judaism. Jesus was held as a prophet, but not as the son of God. On the one hand they were right; there is nothing special about Jesus over anyone else. What they missed, as did the Jews and the Christians, is that everyone else is as special as Jesus, that we are all sons and daughters of God. So, you had three different groups claiming to have the true knowledge of God, asserting ownership to the heart of their religion, Jerusalem. Over the years there has been a constant conflict over “the Holy Land”. When we talk about this dispute, we are not talking about all Jews, all Christians, and all Muslims. The clash is between those who could be called the fundamentalists of their respective religions. Fundamentalism results when fear is the basis of religious belief, rather than love. They are afraid of God and prostrate themselves before the divine. They do not respect themselves or see that they can find the truth within. Fundamentalists go to the sacred texts and claim them to be direct revelations of the thoughts of God. They try to find in the text the truth of what God wants them to do. They have the fear that the failure to do God’s bidding will bring His judgment down upon them.

Today, Jewish fundamentalism is responsible for many of the policies of the Israeli government and its refusal to provide a home for Islam in the Holy Land. Islamic fundamentalism is responsible for terrorism in the Middle East and elsewhere in the world. Christian fundamentalism, which has a particularly strong influence on the government of the United States, accepts neither Judaism nor Islam as true religions. Even in Europe are found judgments about Islam and Judaism, seeing the former as intolerant and terroristic, and the latter as controlling international money. That is the situation as it appears to exist today.

I am speaking to you as neither a Jew, a Muslim, nor a Christian, but as a divine child of God, because that is all there is. If you look at these three religions, you will find that the majority of their followers are not fundamentalists. They are trying to find a place of unconditional love and acceptance through the tenets of their religion. They want people to take care of each other. We have just heard the Pope come to the United States with a message to share the wealth, to work to end the vast differences between the haves and the have-nots. This has always been the message of Muhammad, as it has been a tradition within Judaism.

All of this comes back around to and hinges on the teachings of Jesus. Yes, Jesus said to take care of the poor, but his deepest message is the one that is the key to the whole situation in the Middle East. This was to love your enemy, and in fact to see, in truth, that you have no enemy. He was talking about the concept of the “mirror” as I have shared with you on many occasions. What you judge in another is what you judge in yourself. It can be no other way. To bring peace to the Middle East you first find it in your heart to love every single person there unconditionally. Let go of your judgment. Let go of your belief that any child of God could be a victim – not the refugees, not those who are imprisoned or tortured or murdered, not those soldiers who have been physically or emotionally damaged. There are no victims here. The way you care for people is by seeing the divinity in them. When you see their divinity, you cannot see them as a victim. You don’t have to travel to the Middle East to accomplish this peace. At the same time, as you hold on to your judgments, you are feeding the fire there.

Drop all stereotyping. If you notice that you are having thoughts about a person because of their religion, let them go. Let your thoughts be about the individual, rather than the group they represent. Then, look into that individual’s heart and see who he or she is as a unique child of God. If you find that there is a part that you have difficulty loving unconditionally, that is the part of yourself that you judge. Do the work on yourself, not on them. This is how you bring peace to the world. You don’t have to leave your own living room. It is not about arguing with others or convincing them. If you hear prejudicial statements, notice if they upset you. If they do, the healing is to take place within you, not within the other. Use some process to move the energy. It can be the five-step process, Ho’oponopono, A Course in Miracles, or whatever works for you. There is no one way. The belief that there is one way leads to fundamentalism. If you think that your spiritual techniques are superior, you are feeding the flames in the Middle East. It is okay. All on earth is illusion anyway. However, you  will not experience your own ascension while holding feelings of superiority or inferiority.

Remember that it isn’t real. In the atrocities that you hear or read about, no souls were injured in the production of that movie. These are all divine, immortal, eternal children of God. There is no damage. The part of you that feels that there was damage is the place to begin your healing. It is the place within you that doubts your own divinity and what Jesus taught when he said, “This and more you shall do”. This and more than what Jesus did. Let the peace begin with you. Know that it is all perfect. It is all as it should be, exactly what you need in order to experience your personal divinity.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia