Why not now?

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Usually with these messages I’m answering a question that someone has asked, or I’m dealing with something that came up in a discussion or conversation with an individual or a group. But, this time I take full credit for the question. It is my question to you. Why not now? Do you look at your awakening process, your ascension, or your spiritual path and think that someday you hope to wake up? Do you assume that, sooner or later, you will drop your ego? If those are your thoughts I guarantee you that you are right. Someday it will happen, but it will not be today. And guess what kids, today is the only day you have. No matter how much you might wish it to be tomorrow, or even yesterday, it is always today. To say “someday” is to say “never”. It will never be someday. It will only be the eternal now. Why not now? The choice is now or never (fortunately in the eternal now you can always re-choose). Those are the choices you have. There is no tomorrow. There is no next year or next lifetime. There is only the eternal now. Everything else belongs to the ego. If you wish to release the ego, the only thing you can do is to be 100% in this moment.

There is a wonderful English term called procrastination, which means “putting things off”. This is not considered to be an admirable quality by the mass consciousness. The popular saying is, “never put off until tomorrow what you can do today”. My suggestion to people has always been the reverse, “Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow”. Today is for what is really important. If there isn’t a significant reason for action, such as inner guidance or a strong desire, why give it time in your present? Put it on the back burner until it is time for action, if ever. Is waking up really important? If it isn’t important enough to give your full focus to it today, admit that and stop playing games with yourself. Acknowledge if it is not so important to you to ascend, even though it might be a fun game to play around with. Be honest with yourself and say that you are not choosing to awaken at this time. On the other hand, you may realize that you really do want to drop your ego, but you don’t know how to do it, so you wonder how it could be today. If the latter represents your thinking, you are at the right place at the right time. The purpose of this message is to explain to you what the eternal now means and how to always be here.

The eternal now means “this very moment”. Nothing else matters. If you can successfully stay in the eternal now, you will awaken. So, you commit yourself to waking up, to remaining in the eternal now. Nothing is of greater importance. With everything else you can procrastinate, except this – if you want to awaken. There is no “should” about this. It cannot come from guilt; it must come from a deep desire or even from total desperation. This is not a comfortable process to go through. It is easy for the ego to find a way for you to skip out on it. If, however, you are aware of the pain and suffering that the ego always brings and you wish to drop it forever; if you want to let go of the specialness, the victimhood, the neediness, the emotional swings, the grief, and of feeling unloved and unlovable, and you realize there is no other way, then go for it. You do that by being vigilant with every thought and feeling you experience. If you sense or recognize that the thought or feeling is ego driven, ask the hard questions. Is this really true? If it isn’t really true, what changes does that bring to what you do and feel?

Being committed to the eternal now and to awakening means that you embrace and welcome absolutely everything that comes into your life. You don’t reject anything; you don’t push anything away. You don’t say to yourself that this isn’t what you want. You don’t judge anything that happens as wrong or bad. You stop pretending that you are in control and that you know how your life should be. You realize that if you knew how to awaken, you would be awake. How silly would it be to know and yet to stay asleep. Obviously, you don’t have a clue what is good for you. Admit it. You have expressed to Spirit your wish to awaken, your wish to understand and live the truth, your wish to leave your ego. Therefore Spirit brings to you that opportunity in every moment. Are you embracing these gifts? If not, why not? Those are the questions to ask yourself. Is this the place where you think you know better than God, that you realize what would wake you up?

To awaken is to be enormously humble, the humility that comes from realizing that you don’t know anything. You don’t even comprehend what is good for you. In that humility, a place of trust is allowed. Everything that happens is for your greater good, no exceptions. Is it required that you understand the meaning of your gift? If it is for your good, would understanding really matter? It is acceptance, not understanding, that you seek. If it is for your greater good to understand, then explanations will be provided. It is that simple. If acceptance is hard, you have directions for your task for today. You believe something to be true that is not true. What is it? This moment is the time to do this work, not tomorrow, next week, or….. The alternative is to face the fact that you don’t really want to wake up that much; you only want a fun game. You will be able to enjoy the ego illusion more if you don’t pretend that you want to leave it behind. In that case, you will have a constant, lingering sense of failure, of not being good enough. You will have another reason to beat yourself up. That is the ego’s game. If you are honest about it being a game, you can possibly have fun, win or lose (but of course you will lose). In Spirit’s game, Spirit takes your hand and asks: “Why not now?” Tell me one good, true reason why you cannot awaken right now, one excuse for why you have to stay attached to the ego illusion and to take it seriously. Give me one proof why things have to be a certain way in order for you to be okay. Why not now?

An important awareness to have is whether or not you are presently in the eternal now. If you are thinking about something that happened in the past, no matter how recent or far back, you are not in the eternal now. Your job is to notice that your mind is traveling in the past and be aware of how that affects you at this moment. Are you angry? Do you feel victimized? Are you guilty, blaming yourself for past choices or actions? There is no way to be living in the past and also to be in the eternal now, awake, and free of the ego. One choice is to ask Spirit to help you let go of the past and to bring your focus back to the present. Maybe there is something you are holding on to that you believe about the past that it is time to release, to change that belief. For example, you might think that because your father treated you in a certain way you are left emotionally vulnerable. Is your father there in the room with you in this moment? Probably not. Maybe he is not even in a body anymore. Yet, are you inviting him into your present to control your life? Why do you choose to do that? In truth, what power can a memory of another person have on you in the present moment? The answer is none. You are doing this to yourself. How crazy is that? An idea has been planted in your mind about yourself that is not true and you are still repeating it to yourself. Look at this thought, this untruth. Whatever it is, it isn’t true. Look at it until you understand that and then choose your thoughts. If you are in the eternal now, nothing matters except what is in this moment. Your job is to do whatever it takes to release the past. Change your mind. When you realize, accept, and trust that everything that happens to you is perfect, that includes the past. It was absolutely perfect that you had the father you had. Spirit could not have done better. It was precisely what you needed for your spiritual growth. Your job is to feel gratitude for that, to feel love for all that your father did for you. Your vision widens when you see through Spirit’s eyes. Ego looks at the past and sees self as a victim. Spirit points out where your eyes were closed and helps you to open them to see the truth of what really happened. It doesn’t matter whether you opened them then or you do it today. Time isn’t real. The eternal now is real. What you see in this moment is true for all time. You can choose to carry your pain with you through all time or release it. The past is an enormous venue of not being here now. You can’t be two places at once.

Then, of course, there is the future. What if this happens? Am I prepared for that? All the fear that you feel over what you should be doing to create your best possible future takes you out of the eternal now. And what about all of the things you believe you have no control over: accidents, disease, death, world events? This is all ego insanity. There is no future; there is just the eternal now. If you are taking care of the present, you are taking care of the only place you will ever be. All happens in the eternal now. Anything that comes into your experience is perfect. Remind yourself that you have no conscious awareness of what that perfect is. All you can do is receive what comes with humility and gratitude. When you notice you have a fear about the future, your only job is to look at the truth of that belief. It is never your job to change the world. Your only task is to change your mind, to release untruths. If you are fully in the eternal now you will have no time for tomorrow. This moment will keep your hands and mind full. One of these days you will notice that all of those old fears about the future are gone. That day will be the one where you finally find yourself firmly rooted in the eternal now.

It is an enormous habit to be in the past or the future, rather than to be in the eternal now. It requires willingness, an intention, and finally a discipline to be here. Ask Spirit for support. Ask to be gently reminded when you are drifting. There may be work for you to do concerning your beliefs about the past and the future. The work you do with them is in this moment. If you are in the past or the future, you can be sure that you are not dealing with truth. Leave your little confused ego mind and go sit with us above the battlefield. Look down at your silly little you with loving acceptance. Enjoy the humor of your running around with your head cut off. Each moment you are a little more in the eternal now. You are willing to be shown the next step. That step is being shown to you at this very moment. In the scope of time, this challenge seems enormous. In the eternal now it is just one step. To return to the beginning, your only job is to be present. If you are not there, do whatever it takes to release time. Thoughts of hopelessness or helplessness are not in the eternal now. Neither of them is true. If the thought comes that someday, probably, everybody, including yourself, will wake up, my question is “Why not now?” Why do you want to put it off? You feel incapable of doing it right now. Why? Why stop yourself with an ego lie? Don’t give up on yourself. Why not now?

Good Now

Sanhia

Should we still be doing the forgiveness process?

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I know how some of you react when you hear fingernails being drawn along a blackboard. The sensation is immediate and leaves you shuddering. If I were capable of having such a reaction, which of course I’m not, it would be triggered every time somebody said the word should. The answer to any question that begins with should is no. There is nothing that anybody should be doing. We would want to rephrase today’s question into something that allows me some scope of answers. You could say, “Sanhia, you haven’t talked about forgiveness for a while. You’ve been speaking of I Am, that we don’t know anything, and searching for untruth. We were just kind of wondering if it is still a valuable thing to be focusing on forgiveness as a healing technique.” That is phrased in such a better way, that is, if I believed in better or worse, that would definitely be better. Underneath it all with this question – and I am not singling out the person asking the question, it is simply a human ego thing – is the desire to check to see if you are doing it right. This is looking outside of yourself for validation. I want you to know that if your intention is to awaken, there is no wrong way to go about it. If your intention is not to awaken, it matters not what spiritual path you follow, you will not get there. The road that you will be traveling is already tough enough. Without intention, you will stop somewhere along the way and call it a day (or a life). Now, coming back to the question, the short answer is “of course”. Forgiveness is always a good idea. Forgiveness is based on the truth that you are not a victim of anyone, including yourself. Since nothing has happened to you from the outside, who do you have to forgive? The only true forgiveness comes from the realization that there is absolutely nothing to forgive. If you think there is something to forgive, it doesn’t matter how hard you work at it, you’ll never reach forgiveness. The thought deep down inside is that they are guilty, guilty, guilty, and in need of punishment. That is your deepest thought about yourself. You are guilty and need to be punished. Yes, forgiveness is always an excellent choice, and would you like fries with that?

Having said this, forgiveness is a very hard thing to do because most of you, no matter how hard you try to convince yourselves otherwise, don’t buy the truth of non-victimhood.  A little inner voice whispers “bullshit” every time you claim you are not a victim. There are few satisfactions within the prison of the illusion that can equal that of seeing the “guilty” punished. It is so nice to see it happen to somebody else instead of to you. That’s a lot to give up. It takes a lot of courage to accept that you can only be doing these things to yourself and that it is all about your imagined separation from Divinity. So again, the shorter answer is of course, keep on keeping on. But there is a longer answer. There might be an easier way to be successful than working directly with forgiveness. I am not saying to forget forgiveness and seek vengeance for all of your “enemies”. I’m not suggesting you start your own little inquisition. It’s not time to reinstitute the rack and the thumbscrews. When you find yourself judging, being a victim, or lacking forgiveness, it is always a good idea to notice that and to choose differently. What I am saying is that if you think that truly forgiving is a hard thing to do, I am here to say that it is even harder than you think it is. Absolute forgiveness is a very advanced thought. You can repeat over and over to yourself that everyone is innocent, but that won’t make you believe it or quiet the little inner “bullshit” voice.

It might be an easier and a more direct route for you to take the happy idiot approach. By that I mean that you acknowledge that you don’t know anything. If your mind is going in a direction of judgment, the questions become: “Is my judgment really true? Am I really a victim of that person? Does that person really have power over me? Where did they get that power? How did that happen? Can I take it back? Did I give it to them? Were they just born holding power over me? Is all of this really true? Is that person as selfish as my mind is saying? What does selfish mean? If I give up everything in the world to pursue truth, is that selfish?” If you follow your lines of thinking, as I am modeling here, when you are in the judgmental process – rather than jumping to the end of the line and pretending that you know there is nothing to judge – you have a chance of changing your mind. Right now you haven’t earned that. You still believe in guilt and punishment, right and wrong.

Rather than sticking your head in the sand and pretending you are judgment free, look hard and deep at your thoughts. Is there anything wrong with affirming innocence and freedom from guilt? Of course there isn’t. But is it really true for you? Spoiler alert: if you are even having these thoughts it is not true for you. Are they absolutely innocent? Are you not a victim? Don’t look away. Keep investigating the truth in these thoughts. How enormous is it to give up victimhood? You will have looked at all the places where you feel yourself to be a victim, whether of another person, of nature, of your own body, of disease, of governments, or of the economy. You will have to follow many of these threads before you can unravel the untruth of victimhood. And this is just one aspect of judgment. Perhaps you are judging yourself and others for one of the “seven deadly sins“. This is an enormous work and it is one you must do if you wish to wake up. Hearing me say it or reading it in A Course in Miracles isn’t enough. You have to do the heavy lifting. You have to analyze every last thought that comes into your mind for its veracity. Let your mind follow these thoughts wherever they might take you. Wherever your mind finally rests, is it resting on the truth or do you need to go deeper? You may be wondering if your mind will ever get to rest. When you reach the truth you will be able to rest in the truth forever. At a certain point of following your thoughts, the remainder may just tumble of their own weight to join the debris of untruth you have realized. As we mentioned in the last message, you arrive at truth by eliminating all of the untruths until only truth remains.

It might not be easy for you to follow your mind, to stay with it, when you have been acting as if and believing that an untruth was true. What you will find if you stay with the process is that you know less and less every day. Getting smarter means unlearning untruths. Knowing more requires knowing less. Piling up more untruths cannot lead to wisdom. It is said that you shouldn’t believe half of what you read or hear. The wise person knows which half is which. The wisest person knows that the true half is infinitely smaller than the untruth portion. When you reach the point of absolutely knowing that a thought of judgment or victimhood is not true, how could you possibly still hold on to that thinking? So maybe the quickest and most direct way to release judgments is to go directly into the untrue beliefs you are holding. Then the judgment will fall away of its own weight. Without untruths there is nothing left to support judgment. The lack of forgiveness has been propped up by false beliefs.

A “should” question will never lead you to truth. Chase it down and find what isn’t true about it. As you are following the strands you may realize that you don’t do some things because you should, but because you want to. There is no “should” about breathing, you desperately want that next breath. Check out your “shoulds” and see if they are actually desires. Forgiveness is a wonderful concept and to whatever degree you are able to embrace it this is a great guide for you. However, if you desire to be fully successful at forgiving, look at the untruths you are holding. This includes any beliefs you have that you do things because you should do them rather than because you want to do them. Untruth realization is the easy way to forgiveness. You have enough of a challenge without making it any harder on yourself.  You have your work cut out for you. If you haven’t arrived at the place where you realize the untruth of any belief or thought, you have another think coming. Have fun with that!

Good Now

Sanhia

Can you give a few more hints on how to go about finding the truth?

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In the last message we talked about what you can trust and about finding the truth. I gave you some hints as to how to go about finding the absolute truth. As I say this, I want to remind you that this is a work you must do yourself. I cannot hold your hand through your internal investigation, nor can anyone else. It is your job to do, or not. But, I have been asked if I can’t, please, give just a few more hints to help guide the way. I’m a nice guy, so I say, “Sure, I can do that.” I want to begin by suggesting that it is not so much a search for the truth as a dedication to realizing untruth. When you finish the job of untruth realization all that can remain, if you have done a good job, is truth. You find truth through the process of elimination, the releasing of untruths. The hints I will give to you are designed to help you do just that.

Probably the biggest thing that gets in the way of releasing untruths is they seem to be connected with things that you want to be present in your life. You have resistance to seeing the untruth because it might require letting go of something you would rather hold on to, something that provides some comfort in the midst of your pain. Your ego is never going to make it easy to wake up. Because you are giving importance to these things, the illusion becomes more important than the truth. The illusion is built upon untruths. Let’s look at what some of these things might be.

We could start by listing three categories of untruth encouragers found in the illusion. The first one we will simply call stuff. Think about how much of your time and energy goes into dealing with your stuff, your material possessions. The time you spend dealing with your stuff is time you are not spending with untruth realization. It’s a diversion. You think about stuff you have right now. You think about stuff you want to have. Maybe you think about stuff you used to have. There are numerous ways that you have to deal with your stuff. Stuff breaks down. Your stuff stops working. Spirit has brought in planned obsolescence so stuff breaks down faster and faster. Now you have to deal with fixing it or having somebody else do that for you. Maybe it’s time to buy newer stuff. In the meantime you have to figure out how to live your life without that particular stuff. Maybe, you decide one day that you need the latest model of your stuff, because yours is outdated and not good enough anymore. When you get new stuff you have to figure out how to operate it. All your stuff requires attention. It may need cleaning, maintenance, and protection against the elements and from theft. You worry about your stuff. You alter your behavior for your stuff. So much of your energy, your time, and your mind are devoted to handling your stuff. If you want to be dedicated to untruth realization, that will require plenty of space in your life. Having less stuff can free up this time. This can be part of your process. When you realize that a piece of your stuff is demanding a lot of time or is adding to the stress in your life, you can look at the truth of your need for the object. Follow that line of thinking all the way to the end. I am not suggesting you live your life as an ascetic monk with no stuff. I am not telling you not to do that either. If you really wish to wake up, to release the untruths that you believe in, you will not be able to avoid looking at the addictions you have to the stuff in your life. You will also find yourself dealing with the fear that you might lose any or all of your stuff.

The second category is people. Do I want you to let go of all the people in your life? I neither suggest adding or subtracting people from your life, but untruth realization will require you to examine the attachments you have to your relationships. Like your stuff, your relationships require maintenance and time. How do you alter your behavior because of the people around you? This is a profound question to pursue. You will find it nearly impossible to realize untruths while hoping to obtain approval or agreement from friends, family, and other cohorts.. How much of what you choose to do, how much of how you spend your time is determined by what the people around you seem to want from you (realizing that this is often your projection)? The implication may be that if you are really my friend or if you really loved me…..you would do what I ask of you. Do you fill your life with people so you don’t have to look at your mind? Is it a way of keeping busy? Is it your fear of being alone? This aloneness is exactly what is required of you to have the space for untruth realization. If you really wish to let go of untruths, it can only be accomplished by going deep within your own mind. Talking to or being with others will not help; that can only stand in your way. Part of your process will be dealing with the fear that you might lose any or all relationships.

If you truly focus on truth/untruth it will come ahead of the people, the friends, the family, the stuff, the money…..everything. This is some serious shit we’re talking about. Again, it’s fine if you admit to yourself that you are not ready for that kind of commitment. It’s okay to just play around with these ideas without jumping off the cliff. But, I am talking to those of you who do want to get that serious. Let’s talk about the third category…..goals. What goals do you have for your life? What do you hope to achieve? What do you want to have success with? What do you wish to accomplish? What do you want to be known for? What experiences do you wish to have? What do you hope to realize? All of these goals stand in the way of your untruth realization…..unless your goal is untruth realization. There is a saying attributed to Jesus that I’m almost embarrassed to repeat here because it is often used. However, it is used so often because it resounds of truth. Here we go, “You can only serve one master”. You can serve the illusion or you can serve the truth. The illusion is not true. Yes, you seem to be living with it and need to deal with and find your peace with it, but it is not true. If you want to know the truth, the focus cannot be on the illusion. You can only serve one of these. They are mutually exclusive. Pick one or the other. If you choose truth, then stuff, people, and goals go out the window, down the toilet, or wherever you get rid of things. Am I suggesting you have to get rid of absolutely everything? Take one thing at a time and look at it. Find the truth or untruth about it. You cannot be in a body without stuff, people, and goals. The question is one of function. Are they there to serve your awakening, or are they there to try to make the illusion more fun and to shield you from the harsh glow of truth?

What happens as you release the excess stuff, people, and goals from your life is you clear the decks so that you deal with what really matters, untruth realization. The process is very simple. Whatever thought or feeling comes to you, ask yourself if it is really true. Follow your thoughts about this down the rat hole and through the maze until you find its untruth.  If you haven’t found the untruth, you haven’t followed far enough. Perhaps it’s time to make a minor revision in the saying, “Find the truth and it will set you free” to “Find the untruth and it will set you free”. These thoughts and feelings that arise are likely to be connected to the stuff, people, and goals that you are in the process of relinquishing. Let’s say thoughts arise about your car. It is not the car that is the issue; it is the thoughts and feelings you have about the vehicle. What is the purpose of your car? Let’s play with this a little. Does your car make you feel better about yourself? Will others think better about you because of the car you have (or worse)? Is that really true? Does it really matter? Does the possession of an object change who you are? If you didn’t have that car, would you be someone else? Who are you? Is who you are affected by how others think about you? Do they have the power to affect the truth of you? Who would you be if you didn’t (or did) have a car? Would your experience of the illusion change with a change of vehicles? What is necessary in order for you to maintain your existence in the illusion, for example, getting food, doing the work you are here to do, meeting with the people that it is important to get together with? How would this affect all the different things you do while in a body? How important is each of them? What absolutely needs to be done? If a car is found to be necessary to continue your untruth realization, what kind of car will suit you? These answers are not outside; they are within you. Nobody can tell you what kind of car will satisfy your needs; at best they can project what they believe would suit them. We have just scratched the surface of all the possible roads this car question might lead you down. On the one hand you can look at the amount of your energy that is consumed by your mode of transportation while on the other hand ask why any of that matters. As you investigate fully you will come face to face with looking at the actual importance of everything you have held to be of value. If the bottom line is that only untruth realization is important, how will this piece of stuff help you get there? Where is it in the way and where does it support? You will only know these answers through relentless self examination.

This is only one of a multitude of possessions that you might have. This process of untruth realization will take you quite a while. If you seriously look for your answers, you won’t have so much time to spend with other people and you probably wouldn’t provide the best company. You won’t have time to be dealing with all of your stuff. You won’t be able to accomplish your goats while trying to figure out if they are worth reaching or even having. This is why Jesus is also quoted as saying that, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven”. You can only serve one master. If riches are important to you, you will hold to them rather than surrender them for the truth within you. You cannot pay attention to your stuff and to the people who look after your stuff and still have enough time to follow your thoughts all of the way to the end. That will be even less likely if you suspect that untruth realization will lead you to give up all attachments to your stuff. There is nothing evil in stuff; it is only the addiction to it that causes a problem. Does more stuff really give you power? Does it free you? Do your relationships support you in untruth realization or do they enable you to hold on to prejudice and victimhood? When you are afraid of the truth, you attract those equally committed to untruth to join together in protecting your right to ignorance, to spiritual childhood. No matter how many goals you reach, you will never feel you are fully a success. What success brings is an emptiness that can only be filled by striving for another goal. Accumulating money or stuff leaves you still wanting more. There is never enough of anything in the illusion to fully satisfy you. No matter how many friends you might feel you have, you know inside that they don’t love the real you. It’s all conditional and you have to maintain a façade just to hold onto what you don’t even really have. Stuff, people, and goals are drugs. They are addictions. A drug can be used in an appropriate way to support you in untruth realization, but addiction never does that. You can serve untruth realization or your addiction, but not both.

This is where the pedal hits the metal. The more dedication you have to untruth realization/truth realization, the more time and energy you will focus there and the less important the addictions will be in your day to day life. Everyone hopes to be able to have their cake and eat it too, but it doesn’t work that way. I’m here to rain on your parade. There isn’t room to hold on to the illusion and grasp for the truth simultaneously. There is a moment where you will have to let go of the illusion but will not have yet fully grasped the truth. The bottom falls out from beneath you. There is nothing left to hold on to. This has been called the dark night of the soul. I wish I could tell you differently, that your transition to truth will be a smooth ride. Everyone fears facing this abyss. Addiction feels like a safer, more comfortable place. This is part of the package. In the illusion you believe you need to fulfill the three categories to be happy, but they will never bring you there. They can’t because they are not built upon truth. Only untruth realization can bring you what you desire to experience. If you maintain your commitment, you will move through the dark night into real freedom. You will know when it is time for you to make the choice for untruth realization. Maybe it’s not meant for this trip. Eventually you will find yourself there. Bon voyage.

Good Now

Sanhia

Sanhia, how can we trust that the things you are telling us are true?

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Wow, that is a question that gets right down to the nub! How can you trust that anything you are reading or hearing from me, or from any spiritual teacher or book, or from your own mind is true? Scary! What if you act as if something is true and it turns out to be a false teaching? Now you may have wasted your entire life or at least destroyed major parts of it for no reason, losing along the way the other opportunities that might have presented themselves. Life as you know it is over. As you may have noticed, there is usually a short answer to the question. The short one is that you can’t. As Bob Dylan said, “Don’t follow leaders; watch your parking meters”. You absolutely cannot trust anything or anyone. The second short answer is that whatever you may think the truth is – you are wrong. Is it the truth that whatever you think is wrong? No, wrong again. Boy this is fun. We are, nonetheless, winding our way toward where we want to go. I will continue by jumping in with both feet, which is quite a feat because I have no feet, by saying that there is only one truth. That truth is I Am. I could also say You Are, but I won’t because it is not for me to speak for you. I have no idea if you are. You are free to declare the one truth for yourself, I Am.  As you think about that you can ask yourself if there is any way it can be refuted. Can you say I am not? Can you say that you have no awareness, no consciousness? You might think that your awareness is only connected to this physical body and its brain. In that case, when the body dies, which by all evidence will be the case, you will not be any more. Maybe that is true. I guess you will have to kill yourself to find out if there is still an I Am. Or, you can start with the truth of your I Am-ness as a working basis for looking at everything else you think is true or that you think is false.

We call this considering of something as true or untrue – belief. The thing that separates I Am from all the other beliefs we are going into is that you do absolutely experience your being-ness. There is no time when you don’t experience your being-ness. A hypothesis for you to test out for yourself is that any qualification you might add to I Am is not true. Again, I am not telling you that everything else is false; I am asking you to check it out for yourself. The hypothesis is that any qualification you might put on anything in the world around you is false. That is what I suggest you test for yourself. You will likely find yourself in one of three places right now as you read this. One place is that you are holding the thought, “Sanhia, you are so full of shit. I can smell you from here.” From this position you believe that there are obviously diseases like Corona, extreme weather, falling rocks, and all other types of things that are dangerous to humans. You can provide endless items to add to this list of things you know are true. A second position you might take is that this is an interesting way to look at existence and you might want to think about it some more and see what you can make of it. In the third position you might think I am correct with my hypothesis, but you still experience your body as very real and have physical and emotional reactions to things going on in the world. It makes absolutely no difference where you place yourself on this spectrum. I could care less. It doesn’t matter. All three points come from a place of being asleep and not awake. The question you could ask yourself is, “Am I content with my state of slumber?”

If your answer to the slumber question is that you would like to wake up, the question now becomes one of what you need to do to shake yourself awake. It is likely that if you are still opening these messages you have some level of desire to wake up. On the other hand, maybe you are just fooling yourself. Maybe you like being asleep and it is just a fun game to entertain thoughts about non-duality, but you don’t really take them seriously. That’s fine. As we said, none of these ideas are true. I Am is all that is true. But if you are saying to yourself that you really want to wake up, then my work is done. My only job was to rattle your cage a little, to offer you the possibility to make that decision for yourself, or not. I cannot tell you what to do. It is absolutely your job, your responsibility to follow the road to truth. Nobody can do that for you, nor can you do it for anyone else. But, you ask, can’t you even give us a hint? Well, if you twist my arm – which I also don’t have, I am unarmed – I will say a few things, but don’t write them down in stone. Don’t make commandments out of them or a Bible or a religion. These are only general guidelines; your truest direction will come from a voice inside of you that will set your course if you allow it to. It will not come from a voice outside of you – hello, that’s me. You can listen to me until the cows come home, as they say, and you will still be fast asleep. You might laugh a bit because I can be amusing, but you’ll be laughing in your sleep, which might be less objectionable than snoring. If you want to fully awaken, the ball is in your court. You make that happen.

Okay, here are some of the promised hints. First of all, keep in mind that whatever you think is true, beyond I Am, requires deep examination. Look at it and look at it and….okay, you’ve got it. Question yourself about it. Ask it questions about itself. Do this in writing if you choose, or maybe speaking out loud. Stay with it until you either can prove it to be true or until you realize it was just an illusion; it is not really true. This truth is to be beyond the shadow of a doubt. It is to rely on no outside “experts” for validation. This can be aided by asking yourself how you can be sure that any “expert” is right. Most of what you believe is something that somebody taught you. How likely is it that one would open their eyes one day, look around, and out of the clear blue say that there is a pandemic around and it would be a good idea to take a vaccination? That is probably not an idea that comes to one through an inner guidance. These ideas of pandemics, disease, vaccinations, and death are all ideas you were taught. Perhaps the “authorities” that you give power to in your life said these things: doctors, scientists, media, governments, or friends.

How do you know absolutely that any part of what you “know” is accurate? If you actually look and look and question everything until you have irrefutable proof for yourself that a belief or statement is true, you will end up finding only untruth. If you commit to follow each trail to its bloody end, I guarantee you will go through terror, fear, and pain on every level. All your comfort areas will disappear. You will find yourself alone. Even your friends who feel like spiritual buddies will not be there with or for you. The cozy, warm beliefs you shared will not stand the test of truth and your co-conspirators will not be willing to walk this path of blowing up truths with you. You will find yourself separating from them and nearly all of society. Perhaps, if you are really serious about your pursuit of truth you will eventually find others who are similarly drawn. This will likely only happen when you have already done the heavy lifting and no longer require outside life support. If you are hoping in any way that your salvation will come from some place outside of you – like the second coming of Jesus, aliens from more advanced planets, or a master teacher – you will simply fall back into deep slumber. If you hold the belief in a savior, look deeply into it until you see your way through. You will have to kill the Buddha. As long as your actions are based on beliefs of how the universe is, you will remain asleep to the truth. On the other hand, if you grab that bull of “truth” by the horns and don’t let go until you are aware of the untruth, these beliefs will one after another fall away until all that is certain is I Am.

When everything but I Am is gone there will remain an inner voice which guides you in each moment. You will be aware of a Oneness and a perfection, that there is nothing that needs to change. You will accept your role in the human drama and carry it out without question and without attachment to results. You will simply love the game. Now, perhaps some of you are thinking that these last sentences sound like beliefs. Wonderful! You are on the road to truth realization. I agree with you absolutely, absopositivily. There is no way to jump directly into the awakened state to see if this will be your experience. All you can do is to unwind the untruths to see what remains. Holding these thoughts as beliefs while you are still sleeping will leave you still asleep. I am simply suggesting that as you release all the false beliefs you have and go to your inner core, your Is-ness, your I Am; your experience may be something like that. But it is practice, not belief that will take you there. Look at everything. Question everything. Doubt everything, including all that I say to you. Believe nothing. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

As we let this entertaining discourse draw to an end, I want to again remind you that the words I am speaking to you or that you are reading are never the truth. I can only hint, and talk around the truth, and sometimes speak out of both sides of my mouth, even though I don’t actually have a mouth. I have said in the past that you are not really in charge of anything, that Spirit is in charge of everything and that all will happen at the perfect time. I still hold with that as I ask you what choice you are going to make here. Mostly, those who feel like they are making the choice to absolutely and fearlessly face the truth are not doing so because they got out of bed one day and said that it seemed like the time for truth realization. More likely they got out of bed (or couldn’t) and realized there was no other choice. “The world is hopeless and useless, and so am I. I have to do something to end this misery.” That’s a common beginning. There is a saying that when the student is ready the teacher will appear. I’m going to make a slight modification and say that when the student is ready the shit will hit the fan. That is when the student chooses to act. Yes, perhaps a teacher appears at that moment, but it is not the teacher that is important. All depends on the actions of the student. It is all connected. There is a Oneness and a perfection as you let go of what is not true and allow your inner guidance to lead you to the truth of I Am. You will find yourself acting in the world in a way that impacts others. You will do this, not because you know the truth, but because there is a perfect plan we are all a part of. When you are truth realized, you would never choose any other course than the one being presented to you. Your part in the perfect plan today might be to continue to play the loyal opposition, holding on to your “truths” and thinking everything else is bullshit. Everything has its purpose. Maybe your perfect place is to suspect there is no truth in your beliefs but you aren’t ready to act on it. Perfect – that is Spirit’s plan for you today. When it is time for you to wake, it will feel like you have no choice. Spirit will provide a swift kick in the ass and you are off to the races.

What is true is true. No amount of belief can make anything true or untrue. What is true is I Am. The rest of it is all illusion, nothing but smoke and mirrors. Within that dream you will awaken. It can be no other way. You will never accept this truth until you follow every untruth to its logical end and destruction. How long it will take for you to choose this makes no difference. Your level of intelligence makes no difference. Your spiritual discipline makes no difference. When the moment comes, it will happen. Is that time now? There is no correct answer to that question. You may make a start and be satisfied with whatever distance you come toward letting go, telling yourself that you are through for now. You may say that you are not ready now and then find things happening in your life that make any other choice impossible. As I said, my only job is to rattle your cage a little, to shake things up. Maybe something falls on your head or your toe stimulating you to take some sort of action. Maybe not. Maybe you are just left with the thought that Sanhia is full of it. I certainly am. I Am.

Good Now

Sanhia

How can I get control over my ego?

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Wow, what a fun question this is!  There are so many different aspects to it that I hardly know where I want to begin. Let’s start with this. We want to talk about the truth of you, which I will call your I Am consciousness. We mentioned this in the last message. You Are or, as you would say it, I Am. That is the end of the story. I Am. It is not “I am spirit” or “I am ego”. It is I Am. But here you find yourself in this story, this movie, this illusion. You appear to have a body. It looks as if there is a physical planet. You seem to be interacting with other people. There appears to be this ego, this craziness, convincing you that the whole package is true, and, as we talked about last time, you are having a lot of emotional responses to the drama being presented. So, you wonder what you can do to reel in this ego. The shortest, most clear, direct, and honest answer that I can give is that you can do nothing. Trying to do something about the ego is on the same level as trying to create heaven on earth, which is on the same level as rearranging the deck furniture on the Titanic. You are on a fool’s errand in which you cannot possibly have any success. You will be wasting energy and ending in more confusion than you began.

Having said that, let’s come at this from a totally different point of view. Your mind has a habit of holding onto thoughts or beliefs that are not true. You often begin these thoughts or statements with the words “I am”. For example, you might say, “I am depressed”. That cannot be a true statement. There is a difference between your divine I Am that always is and this illusory physical self, that we could call your “me”, which experiences all of this fear, doubt, and guilt in the world. Your me and the events it encounters are all temporary, while the truth is always true. When you find yourself feeling depressed you can say to yourself, “I am noticing that my me is feeling a little depressed right now”. This is a far different statement than saying to yourself “I am depressed” which suggests a permanent and unchangeable truth of who you are. Instead, you acknowledge that this little me is experiencing depression. Interesting! All you do is notice. The process of waking up involves the realization that your me is not real and what it is experiencing is of no lasting importance. Your job is to develop your awareness of what your me is doing.

The process can happen something like this. You have, or more correctly You Are, a Divine I Am. When we have spoken of taking things to Spirit we could also describe it as taking things to your Divine I Am. As a visual, you can picture yourself high above the playing field, the game, the battlefield, the physical plane. You are looking down on your little me. Oh poor little me, depressed, angry, jealous, horny, happy, sad, head-over-heels in love, heartbroken and so on. All that this awareness amounts to is that you are separating your true self from your me. You look down and observe your me, not with the idea of changing its thoughts or actions, simply being aware that this is not the truth of you. Your I Am is just watching and noticing what your me is going through right now. If you try to change your me, that is if you try to control your ego, you will fail. You are then making the experience of your me real. You are giving it an importance and an existence that it doesn’t have. That is a big one to get over, because your me thinks that everything that happens to it is so important. But the experiences have no meaning beyond being the description of your self-created prison. Your job is not to stop feeling whatever your me is going through, but to simply notice what is going on from a detached separate space, from your I Am. You might lovingly notice without judgment or guilt, “Oh isn’t my little me cute”. That is called being aware.

As you are able to simply be aware, the behavior will begin to dissipate. You have likely heard before that what you resist persists. Your attempts to bring about change are only empowering and encouraging the craziness of the ego to continue. When the behavior is given no attention, it has no further reason to hang around. So, it is not about controlling the ego; it is about ignoring it and instead focusing on your I Am, which doesn’t have a horse in the ego game race. Of course, ignoring does not mean sticking your head in the sand, pretending you don’t see what your me is doing. Notice everything, but don’t identify with it. Give it no juice. That little me is not You. Of course, you will forget to step back at times. You will find yourself again caught up in the ego games. This is not because you can’t control the ego; it is because the ego still has control of you. This is not a fight over who has control. The ego will win every fight. All you need to do, as often as you can remember to, is to become aware of the situation. Separate out and rise above to your I Am and watch the spectacle taking place. “There I go again.”

One of the most persistent me fears is around death. It might look like your fear of losing somebody close to you, or the reaction to just that having happened (as we talked about in the last message), but it is always the fear of your own death. Your awareness job is to notice yourself having that fear. The I am does not know death. It is not real. I am is only life, consciousness, and awareness. Death is the perfect vehicle for your me to ride in and for your I Am to look down upon, observing yourself dealing with your fear. When your fear of death dissolves, which it will do if you persist in watching it in awareness without judgment from your I Am, you will for the first time realize life. Your ego mind thinks life is all of the things that are not real, all the dramas and emotions.

Your ego mind looks at the possibility of awakening and asks what is left when all it values disappears. If the drama is gone, what remains? There is no good answer to that question. The I Am is what is left when all that is not real is gone. The best I can do is to tell you what the “I Am” is not. I Am not depression. I Am not sadness. I Am not fear. I Am not hate. I Am not anger. I Am not jealousy. I Am not boredom. I Am not death. We could say that everything that you do not want, everything that causes pain and suffering is a part of what I Am not. I Am also not special love, heaven on earth, or any idea you have ever had. The only way for you to realize who You are is to jettison everything that you are not. I Am is what is left. What I can tell you is that while you are in this awareness process of separating your I Am from your me, watching and slowly allowing those behaviors to dissipate – not by trying to change anything but just by noticing – you will begin to have less of your me operating. You will experience less depression, fear, jealousy, worry, and so on. You will experience yourself as living more and more in the now. In this disappearing act will be the guilt about what you have or have not done and the fear about what might happen. Fewer thoughts will run through your mind about what you should be doing, to be replaced by thoughts of what you could be doing. In the now there exist none of the emotions we have been talking about. In the now there is guidance available from a Divine intelligence that is directing everything, perfectly.

This is what happens when you move to the I Am consciousness and simply observe. Your I Am does not pretend to know everything, or perhaps even anything. It simply is. So, gradually, bit by bit, your little me begins to exist just in the now. The separation between your I Am and your me slowly dissolves. You realize that whatever is supposed to happen in this illusion is exactly what is happening. There will not be a thought that things should be any different than they are.  You will simply know how to react to whatever presents itself. You will be guided. That’s all there is: no drama, no confusion, no fear, no past, no future. So, returning one last time to the opening question, there is nothing to control. It’s about letting go of control and replacing that need with awareness, noticing how your me is acting and reacting. There is no battle. You get to sit back and observe the absolute insanity of the ego world. You will grow to appreciate the humor in this absolute insanity. It is permitted to laugh. Sit back and enjoy the show.

Good Now

Sanhia

How can I let go of grief?

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To begin with, you can never let go of anything by pretending that it’s not there. You don’t get over grief by acting as if you’re not feeling it. It is a very human thing to experience grief, whether it is over the death of a loved one or the loss of something that feels important to you in your life. I encourage you to fully face the grief, to go into the heart of it and feel it totally. Doing the five-step process could be helpful here. Only by going into the fear behind the grief can you discover that it doesn’t have any true reality. There is a great deal of confusion around emotion, and grief is certainly a strong emotion. There are those who would say that your emotions are what are important, not your mind and what you are thinking. Along these lines, the highest value is in expressing these feelings. There is nothing either good or bad about expressing, but emotional release will never lead to awakening. Emotion is not divine; it is not real; it is ego based. The emotion that you feel is connected to something that happens outside of you in the world – a person or a pet appears to die, you lose your job, you lose your favorite earring. What the grief is saying is that you believe that what was lost was real. Emotion comes out of belief, or more correctly, out of false belief. There is no other kind of belief, but that is an idea for another message. Emotion is not some pure thing that comes from Spirit though the heart, but a self-sabotage coming from the misuse of your mind. You believe that what happens in the world starts in the world, that you are a victim to it, that it reaches out and affects you. This is not the truth; it is a belief. Belief has no effect upon truth. It cannot change it in any way. When you act as if your beliefs are true you experience emotional responses.

If we come back to this question of how to let go of grief, you can never let go of it if you believe it is real. If you believe that person died and therefore you have a hole in your life that can never be filled, that the loss is irreplaceable, then you will have grief. And though it might subside somewhat over time, it will never fully go away. So what do you do with your grief? Let us go off in another direction. The question you want to ask yourself about your grief or about anything else that seems to be out there in the world, impinging upon you, is this: “Is this really true?” I am going to start at a basic level with the question: “What can you absolutely know is true or real?” You find yourself to be in this body and in this world. Do you absolutely know that either is real? As you are looking at this question, you can think about watching a movie. You are aware that what is happening on the screen is not actually real, but emotionally it may feel very real. You may react as if it were actually happening. How do you know that what your thoughts or your senses are telling you, what you perceive going on in the world, is actually happening? Beyond that, how can you know that something your mind tells you happened in the past actually occurred? How can you absolutely know that? Can you fully experience something that you perceive outside of yourself? You can know that you are having the perception, but how can you be sure that your perception is real and true?

While you are thinking about this – and if you seriously take on this line of thought, you will be busy for some time – here is another curveball for you. Who is experiencing this so-called reality? You know that you exist. You know that you are. You know this because there is never a time when you aren’t conscious. You are always aware. Can you remember not having awareness? There is a consistent flow through the illusion of time, no matter what happens or where you are, that you are aware of your beingness. There is absolutely no doubt that you are conscious. Can you have the same certainty that the person next to you exists? Can you experience their consciousness? If we were to call your state of consciousness “I Am”, can you know they are having an “I Am” experience? Can you even be sure they are actually there? Can you be absolutely certain that anything outside of your mind exists? You may be thinking that I am asking absolutely crazy, off the wall questions. In the insanity of the dualistic world those are the only kinds of questions I can ask. I challenge you to question everything that you think exists. Ask yourself how you know that something in the world is actually there. As you look at what I am suggesting, and you continue to look at it and to look at it, perhaps your certainty in the illusion will begin to crack. This won’t come easily. You have a great deal invested in the illusion being real, in the importance of things existing outside of your beingness. It is a painful and scary thing to let go of. I can guarantee you it is equally as scary to hold on to it. The difference is that the fear never leaves you as long as you grasp on to the world as real, while the other side of letting go leads to a fearless state. Let’s look at grief. If you believe in the truth of another’s body, then you will experience grief when the body dies. If you only know for certain that you are, what difference does it make what is on your screen? No matter what might appear to happen, you are.

Ask yourself that question. Look at everything that you think is true and ask if you really know that it is true. The ego mind will put up a great fight here. You may think, “But wait, I can see it, so it exists”. What actually happens with vision? Within the illusion there is light. Something comes into the eye. The image is upside down and your brain makes a correction. You now have a picture, a moving picture. Is your picture the same as another’s picture? How could you know? How, for example, could you know that your idea of a color is the same as someone else’s? Is the green that you perceive the same as what another claims to see?  How could you possibly be sure? Yet you think it is real. And what about a blind person, if they cannot see something is it not there? Virtual reality shows you that you can experience things through your senses that don’t exist. There is always at least one step which separates you from an actual experience of the physical. Your mind does not touch, smell, taste, hear, or see anything.

Let’s look at this from another perspective. One person looks at another and claims that person is the greatest human alive, while another says the individual is evil incarnate. What is the truth? It is all about perception, not about truth. All your grief, all your emotions emanate from this place of believing that what you perceive is actually true. You have no way of knowing that anything you believe is true. Yet you allow these misperceptions to rule your experience of life. A good rule of thumb is that anything you believe is true is false.

This is what waking up is. This is what enlightenment or ascension is all about. It is becoming fully aware that the only thing you can truly know is that you are. Nothing else can be known to be real or true. The ego voice then comes in to ask if all that is true, then why does the illusion appear to be here. That is a really good question. It probably requires another whole message to deal with adequately, but briefly the answer is that you don’t know and probably never will. But, what does it matter? If you are, which means that you always have been and always will be, and nothing can change that, it can make absolutely no difference what you do or what happens within this illusion. You will still be. Instead of trying to figure out the right thing to do, let yourself flow and play with the game that is here. Just enjoy it. We could say that there is a larger intelligence here, a Divine intelligence if you prefer, that is running the show. Your only job is to trust in the perfection of the show and to flow with it. Nothing could be more perfect than what is presented in each moment. Let’s say that someone is removed from your physical perception through the illusion of death. That is perfect! Absolutely perfect! Play with it. Let us hypothesize that some, perhaps all,  of the other entities that are out there, that you call human, have the same “I am” consciousness that you have. Then they too always are. Their existence has nothing to do with their bodies. If you perceive them going through a bodily death, they haven’t disappeared out of existence. They simply are, no matter what is happening in the physical illusion, just as you always are. The body is not real. Nothing has been lost with this “death”. Nothing real or true could ever be lost. So they are fine? How are you doing? Your thought is that you miss them. Is that really true? How can you miss something that was never really there? You can only miss it if you go into the illusion, which seems to have a past and a future.

In this illusion of time there is an imaginary past where you have memories of this person and an imaginary future where this person will play no part. Meanwhile the only thing that your “I am” consciousness can be aware of is the now, which doesn’t include this person. The past is only in your thoughts. All you can experience is the now. We are beginning to get a picture of what insanity is. You are looking at what is in front of you and making yourself sad over something that isn’t in the picture. You could spend all of eternity concerned with all the things that could be present, but don’t appear to be and allowing these perceptions to make you sad or worse. Or…..you can see what is here now and accept it as perfect, with no grief for what is missing or hope for what could be there. It is not a question of what seems to be present being any more real than what doesn’t seem to be here, but it is simply what is here for you to play with. If the higher intelligence wanted you to be playing with the one who is “dead”, they would still be here in a body. But they are not here. There is something better for you. You are always presented with perfection. Part of this process is to give up this idea of thinking that you know better than the Divine intelligence what you should have in your perception or what is good for you. Is it really true that you know best? How is your track record with that?  Have you always been successful in making the choice that has brought you peace, happiness and love? Of course you haven’t; you don’t have a clue. Everything you believe to be true is false.

Your job is to give up trusting in your perceptions and your beliefs and accept your experience as perfection. Then there can be no experience of grief. Nothing is lost or could be lost. There is only the eternal now. As long as you believe that something real could stop existing, you will have grief.  That is absolutely an ego choice. You are welcome to let it go. Be free in the now. Accept the blessing that is here instead of mourning for what is not here. Give up everything else. That is just a weight to lug around as you experience emotional suffering. Easy to say, but your work is cut out for you. It’s the only game in town.

Good Now

Sanhia

Can you explain more about others being my mirror?

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We will start at the beginning here, well not all of the way at the beginning, but at the beginning of the story about mirrors. The idea of mirrors is a very simple one which the psychologist Freud discovered over 100 years ago. It is the idea that when people doesn’t wish to look at something in themselves because they have so much judgment about their guilt, they will project it upon others in hopes of making the others guilty and deserving of punishment. This is called scapegoating. It is now the other who is the problem rather than the self. You are off the hook…..except for one thing. The self judgment is still there, though buried into the subconscious. It doesn’t go away. Therefore, nothing is really resolved or healed. Let’s look at this process. The way that you can identify if someone is acting as a mirror for you, that you are projecting on to them what you don’t want to see in yourself, is that you will have some judgment about them. “Whoa!” you exclaim. “I can sometimes see that this projection thing is true, but I am certainly not a mass murderer. Are you saying that I am a mass murderer, but am projecting that on to someone else?” And I reply, “Yes”. But this idea of mirror sometimes requires looking a little deeper. First of all, this scapegoating is an attack on others, wanting God to kill them instead of you. That sounds at least like mass attempted murder. More importantly, the guilt that all humans carry and the real belief underlying it all is this idea that you have killed God. There is no truth to this; in fact it is totally insane to think that God could be killed. But you think you destroyed God in order to create an individual self so that you could be the creator of your world. This could give you a separate identity. Of course you didn’t kill God. You are off the hook there. You didn’t do that, couldn’t have done that. Nor did you create a separate identity, couldn’t do that either.

A part of you, however, believes that you did all of that. You do not want to look at that part of you. Nothing could be more terrifying. So you project that murdering part of you onto others and you feel like you are off the hook. You are not a murderer like they are. You would never kill someone. You hide from yourself the guilt you have for believing that you killed God. What would the consequence be for Deocide? That would have to be swift and severe. In addition to that denial there is a part of you that knows that it is crazy and insane to believe that God could be killed. But, if you wanted to do the deed and failed, that means God is still out there. He knows what was in your heart and He is out to get you. This is another insane idea – that God who is only love could want to hurt his only Son, created in His own image. But, nobody ever accused the ego of being sane, except for the insane.

It is so absolutely believable that there are evil people out there, because in this illusion that the world is real, you are its creator. You don’t want to look at your fear, so you create a world of diversion with plenty of targets to play the scapegoat. You have written this entire script and hired actors to play these villainous roles so that you can be innocent and maybe even a savior. In truth, nothing is happening. It is exactly like a movie. There are actors, a script, a director, special effects, and it is being filmed. What is actually happening? Nothing, it is not real. That is the truth of the physical universe. It is simply not real. You may think that I am exaggerating or trying to make some kind of metaphorical point with this. Not at all. I am totally serious, and that is not often true with me. As long as you believe that the world is real you will continue to hide out here and to pretend that you are not responsible for any of it. You will go on finding scapegoats and projecting your guilt and fears upon them. You can do that, as you have been doing, and there is no judgment about it, nothing is actually happening. It is all your drama, having nothing to do with anybody else. It’s all in your head. You can do that and suffer the consequences of guilt, fear, and feeling separate from God and from all others until you stop playing that game. The pain is self inflicted and ceases as soon as you stop administering it. Sooner or later you will stop the game. It doesn’t matter if it is sooner or later, because time is part of the game; it is not real. When you wake up you will find yourself in timelessness with nothing real around you. You won’t take anything in the world seriously. It’s a fun place to be.

One of the quickest ways to wake up is to stop projecting, to realize that whenever you judge another in any way whatsoever, it is yourself you are judging. If you don’t understand how that can be the case, it is your job to go inside and find the truth. Find your own guilt and self condemnation so that you can forgive yourself and release the lie of your guilt. You can’t forgive something you believe is real. You cannot forgive another whom you judge because you really have convinced yourself of the reality and wrongness of what you see them doing. You believe in your righteousness in judging them. End of story as long as you are stuck in that cycle. The first step is to accept that it is yourself you believe is wrong, guilty, and cannot be forgiven. Short of that there is no way out. You can have all of these “wrong” people executed and erased from your illusion, but the guilty one will still walk free. So, more perpetrators must be created in order to maintain your disguise. It is like the zombie movies. You can’t kill them; they keep coming back. As you are beginning to have the mental awareness that another is your mirror, even though you may have your doubts or not understand why, you can take that inside of yourself. Ask yourself what it is that is triggering you; what are you judging? Whatever you discover is what you are judging yourself for, what you don’t want to look at. Ask Spirit to help you look at that. Look right at it, through your fear. There is a terror here, a dread of being punished for doing this horrible thing. In truth you are innocent and you ask Spirit for support in that vision. It is only when you see the purported guilt as being your own that you are able to let it go, to reclaim your innocence. As you practice doing this, what will begin to awaken in you – likely drop by drop, perhaps in one grand explosion of awareness – is the realization that there is no “other” there. There is no other person doing these things you have been projecting. It’s all you; it’s all your creation. By doing this internal work you truly see that the world does not exist, it is just something emanating from your mind. You are creating something that you don’t want out of something that you don’t want to look at, and projecting it into the physical world. At the same time the ego convinces you that you are going to create heaven on earth somehow from your fear-based denial. How crazy is that!

When you take responsibility for your projections and forgive yourself for these judgments, you will stop creating places to blame in the illusion. Finally, all you create in the illusion is forgiveness, love, peace, and support for following Spirit’s plan, everything to gain and nothing to lose. The only way to experience a sense of heaven on earth is to create it within you. Absolute self love, forgiveness, and inner peace will lead to a projection of the same. No amount of affirmation, meditation, or wishful thinking will change your mirrors in the world. The only real change you can affect is in changing your mind. That is where your world is created. If you don’t face your beliefs and your fears, they will continue to manifest in the world. You are never a victim of the world; you are master of it. It is your creation. Look at your world and see what you are creating. See what you don’t want to face in yourself. Face it or continue to run up against it. Stop pretending it is someone else’s fault. That is good news. How can you possibly control and change them? You have probably tried. It is so much easier to realize that you have all the power. All you need to do is look within and claim it. Otherwise you will have to kill everyone else, and then there will be more at the door. It’s like the five-headed hydra; chop one head off and two more appear. It is so much easier, not to speak of effective, to face your inner demons. You can’t change the action on the movie screen; you have to go into the projection room. The projection room is your mind. What happens on the screen/in the world is not real.

This transformation from victim to master has to begin with the intention to do just that. However that intention, in and of itself, is not enough. If you decide to wake up by educating everyone around you as to how an enlightened person should act, you will not wake up. It is not others that need to change; it is you. This does not require one single other person to change their mind. No matter what your intention may be, if you do not face your own fears you will either be in fantasy, hiding from the world, or in frustration. As I have said before, eventually you will wake up, regardless of your intention. If you desire to wake up, but don’t find things too horribly bad right now, facing your fears may seem like a less than inviting idea. You won’t do it now and that is fine. Those who are willing to take full responsibility and go inside to face their fears, admit their projections, work with forgiveness, give everything to Spirit, and trust Spirit to guide them and to bring the perfect lessons are probably willing to do so because they don’t feel they have any other choice. They are experiencing too much pain to keep trying to hold up the illusion. Perhaps they have tried to change the world and have given up in utter frustration. It may take a feeling of having nothing left to lose before you are ready to confront your own mind. Why would you attempt this enormous work if you thought there was any alternative? Facing your fears and confronting the unreality of the universe is a frightful task. It can be done and it eventually will be done, but I won’t try to kid you into believing it will be easy. It requires you to face the guilt you have for having created this hell of a world. There is the dark night of the soul to be experienced. There are the forty days in the desert. For many that feels like more than they wish to take on right now. For those who have said “Enough!” there is support as you go through your transformation of awakening. Spirit is always there with you. You are never alone, though you may feel that way. Other humans will likely be of little use for you and will probably act out your projection that you must be nuts. There is no wrong decision here, but if your intention is to face and accept your mirrors and you are willing to stay with it, We are willing to be with you every step of the way.

Good Now

Sanhia

If the world is an illusion, why does it matter what I do?

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That is a very good question, though all questions are very good questions. It sounds as if it might be a question from the ego to try to trip me up, but it isn’t really. It is a very profound, important, and deep question. We have been talking about this world being an illusion; that nothing here is real; that nothing is really happening. If that is the case then why should it make any difference at all what somebody does? What difference does it make if you help or hurt others, if you love them or kill them? None of it is real, so there is no consequence for any action because nothing happened. Why not just do whatever brings you the most pleasure in each moment, no matter what the illusionary effect upon another?

Since this is the world of duality there are two answers to this question. The first one is that you are absolutely right. It makes no difference at all what you do. It doesn’t matter what happens here. It is inconsequential if you appear to make situations better or worse. You’re right. It is not real. Nothing is really happening. The part of you that believes that it does make a difference is trying to do one of two things. First, you may be trying to create a heaven on earth. If that is true with you, I will just say “Good luck with that, love”, and suggest you read this previous message. Secondly, the whole idea of thinking that anything you do here makes a difference is motivated by an attempt to win the approval and forgiveness of God. The thought is that if you can do the right thing, if you can guess what God wants you to do – which is the entire basis for how the Bible is interpreted – you can get back in God’s good graces. Of course the Old Testament shows that if you fail to do this all hell will break loose. You will be punished and probably killed, or worse, if you don’t do God’s will. This is your ego’s teaching about why what you do in a body matters. On that level, on the level of God caring, it doesn’t matter. God is not going to love you more or less based on what you do or don’t do here. God has no idea that you are even here. This is purely your dream. It is your belief that you have separated from God. He does not have a horse in this race. God loves you unconditionally. You are his beloved only Child and there is nothing you could possibly do to make Him love you more or make Him love you less. That is the end of it. Again, on that level it makes absolutely no difference what you do here.

Now for the long awaited and eagerly anticipated dualistic answer, the other side of the coin. Yes there is a difference here. Here’s what the difference is. You don’t always want to face it and it doesn’t always feel this way, but you are in hell. What you do or don’t do here makes no difference to the illusion. It does make a difference to your experience of the illusion. If you treat yourself in a loving way, if you notice where you feel guilt or pain or where you are suffering, and you bring all of that to Spirit, what happens is not that you create heaven on earth, but you create a space of experiencing less and less pain. It’s only about you. That might sound selfish to you, but it is only about you. Everything else is your creation, your reflection, your mirror. You think there is a world out there to fix, but it is your mind that is creating that world. The only fixing that can be done is in your mind. That adapting means aligning with Spirit instead of with ego. Back to the original question that sounded like an ego trap, well, it can be. The ego may be yelling in your ear that since this is all an illusion and nothing really matters that you have permission to do anything to anybody without consequences. You can do anything and get away with it. That’s one way the ego can talk to you. This is a ruse; it’s a trick; it’s a magic show. Whatever you do to someone else you do to yourself. If you hurt them, you hurt yourself. If you steal from them, you steal from yourself. The only reason to take from another comes from the belief that you don’t have enough. If that is your belief, no amount of taking from others will change this conviction. Your lack is in your mind and not in the world. Now, in addition to still not having enough, you are building up more guilt. The part of you that believes you are being judged by God fears that your hand is getting worse and worse. When the game is over you will be slaughtered by God. Remember, this is not about God; it is about you and your experience.

The difference it does make is that if you act from the guidance of ego, your experience in a body is going to be painful. If on the other hand you act on the guidance of Spirit, your experience of being in a body, of being in the illusion, is going to become increasingly pleasant and enjoyable. This is not because the world is likely to change around you, but your way of seeing it will change. It matters to you what you do in the world. If you want to experience the peace and the love that are your birthright, then what you do is to listen to Spirit one hundred percent of the time. You listen to ego zero percent of the time. Now you are laughing! Of course you’re at times going to listen to your ego, but hold the intention to always listen to Spirit. When you notice yourself acting from ego – stop! Bring it to Spirit. Beyond that, become proactive. Don’t wait until the shit hits the fan before you ask Spirit what to do. It’s very hard to hear Spirit when you are in chaos….and you’ve got shit all over your face. It’s very difficult to be aware of Spirit at that time. Get in the habit of talking to Spirit before you get into the deep doo doo. When you wake up in the morning, ask Spirit what He would have you do today. Get into the habit of asking Spirit “What would you have me do?” Listen for the response and then do it. If you can remember that one time a day it is enormous. And then it will be twice a day, three times a day; it will become more and more a constant way of being. As you develop this habit of asking Spirit for guidance and following it, Spirit will communicate to you more and more clearly. Your ability to hear will sharpen. You will develop the capacity to anticipate those moments that would have previously been quite troublesome for you, so that you can ask for help before the flame is ignited. Remember that what you are always asking for is to change your way of thinking and your way of seeing. You want to see everything through Spirit’s eyes; you are not asking Spirit to intervene and change the world. Spirit sees the whole picture and is bringing you exactly the world experience you can use in order to awaken. Asking Spirit to interfere implies that you know better how things should be. It goes back to believing your actions make a difference.

So, to return to the question, does it make any difference in this world of illusion what you do? To God, no; to you, yes. Allow yourself to be freed by the first answer we gave. Remind yourself whenever you are feeling guilty about anything you have done or not done, “sins” of commission or “sins” of omission, that it doesn’t matter. Your job is not to change your behavior but to change your mind. Ask Spirit to remind you that you are innocent, that there is nothing you need to do or anything you could do that would be wrong. You don’t even need to ask Spirit for help. God will not judge you, period. What makes a difference is choosing an action that is aligned with Spirit, not because it is the right thing to do but simply because it is aligned with truth and love and helps bring you the experience of peace. Such alignment can take hours, days, weeks, months, and maybe years off this period of being in hell that you have been experiencing. Both the time and intensity can be reduced. You can feel yourself to be moving off of death row. Ultimately time is an illusion, but while you feel yourself to be here it can feel infinite. It feels like it goes on and on and on, like the only end to it is a graceful death. But even death brings no conclusion, because it, too, is not real. You cannot be killed. You go on. Awake or asleep, you go on. In agony or in peace, you go on. All that is certain is that your pain will not go on forever because forever is eternity and in eternity you are One with God. The illusion has a beginning and an ending. Both have already happened; in fact they never happened at all. All that seems to keep your separate life alive is your belief that it is real. By asking for Spirit’s guidance in every moment that you remember to do so, you come closer and closer to realizing a freedom from the prison you have created. The ego mind that created this illusory jail cannot end it. That is why you must ask and listen for Spirit’s help.

It is very simple. It is easy. You have the choice to listen to and follow the guidance of Spirit. There is no duality in that there is only one thing to do, one choice to make. The more you do it, the better you get at is; the easier it becomes. The better you get at it, the more you will do it. Everything becomes lighter and easier. The truth is always simple – and beautiful. We are always here at every moment, whispering in your ear. “Come this way. Come this way.” All you have to do is to allow yourself to become quiet enough to hear. If there is too much ego chatter and noise, give that to Spirit, and ask again to hear with Spirit’s ears and to see through Spirit’s eyes. Nothing else. Act from that place with trust and love. And peace.

Good Now

Sanhia

If the world is an illusion, why does it feel so real?

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The ego is many things, but one thing that it is not is dumb. Your ego is very clever and incredibly fast. It has convinced you that it is something separate from you, as it has convinced you that you are separate from God. It seems as if what the ego shows you and tells you is not coming from within yourself but is simply obvious truth that the outer world is presenting. The ego convinces you of your victimhood, pain, and suffering, while hiding the truth that everything springs from your own mind. We are not going to go back over the creation story now, though you can click here if you wish to revisit it. The bottom line of this creation story is that somewhere along the line the ego voice wanted to create a place for you to hide. It had to be a place that was so well hidden that you could not only hide from God, but also from the truth of yourself. Your ego needed to create such a compelling, convincing scene that you could totally believe in it. I am saying that the ego created this, but of course the ego is a part of you. The human mind assumes that only God could have created such an enormous and complicated universe, but it was you, the Divine Son of God, created in God’s image, who accomplished this. So through your ego you created this world with its laws that appear to have a consistency about them – although physicists for years have realized that this “consistency” does not hold up when they look at macro and, particularly micro structures. Neither time nor matter are what they appear to be. So ego-you created, or miscreated, this physical earth and placed your Divinity into a fragile, limited body, convincing you that this is the real you. Seemingly unable to hear the still, quiet voice of Spirit within, you live as if this is the truth. And when one suggests to you that the world and your body are not real you pound the tabletop and yell, “That sure feels real! The cold air feels real, and so does water and my thirst, and what about the animals and plants? These rocks and erosion, and our history and evolution, and the love/hate I feel for others – all of this feels so real. How can it not be real?” I can remind you that the last dream you had might have seemed very real as you slept. Now that you are awake do you for a moment seriously believe that your dream actually happened? Perhaps some of you do, but most probably do not. You will have a similar experience as you awaken from this dream of your body in the physical universe.

Let’s come back to story of everything seeming so real. The ego did a brilliant job. There is enough beauty here that you can say, “Oh, this is God’s creation:” It also has enough destructive qualities, pain, and confusion that you might say, “If this is God’s creation, He certainly doesn’t seem to like us very much does he?” This generates a great discussion. Is there a God or not? If there is a God, why would he create or allow such pain and suffering? Why would he create war or children starving to death? There must not be a God. Or, perhaps God does exist and He created those things because we are bad and have to learn how to be better. Whether you decide on no God or angry God, you are led into a place of helplessness and hopelessness. Either we are guilty and deserve to be punished or there is no God, no meaning to anything. We live, we die – end of story.

The second part to this is that your ego created your physical body, making it seem so real. You can feel the heart beat and panic when you can’t breathe. It seems as if this body is who you are. You are surrounded by other physical bodies and they are they and you are you, and you can’t be one with them. It can’t happen no matter how much you might try to merge with another. You can have communication and relationship, but you remain separate, unable to bridge the physical chasm between you. Fortunately, you have evolved in your civilization to a point where you have the technology to create scenes on video that also seem so real. When you watch these shows you really believe that these things are happening before your eyes. Even your thinking mind knows that nothing is really happening – that it is all a play; it’s all staged. Much of what you see was actually put in to the background by technicians after the scene was shot. It’s all fantasy. Yet you still react as if it is actually happening. Your bodies and this world were created in the same way, to appear to be very real. What are you to do with that? Having the awareness that the world is not real, you can bring your experiences to Spirit. You can ask for help in seeing the world through Spirit’s eyes rather than the ego’s eyes. Gradually this will happen.

In the meantime, the larger part of you believes in the illusion, is convinced of the reality of your body and the physical world. This is the classroom you are to learn in. If you pretend that the illusion is not there, while actually believing the world is real, you are going to have some problems. If you cross the street telling yourself that the cars are just illusions so you don’t have to look both ways… there may be a BAM moment! You are not there yet. There is no expectation that you should be there yet. So, you can do several things. First, you accept whatever lesson is being presented to you in this so real-feeling illusion. Remind yourself that it was chosen by Spirit to help you wake up. Your classroom, which might feel more like a battlefield, is there to help you move past the idea of the illusion to the full realization of it being illusion. We do not encourage you to pretend that you understand, that you do have an experience of the unreality of your body and the physical before that actually occurs. If there is pain in your suffering, you are being asked to look at something that is uncomfortable. Don’t pretend it isn’t there. Look at it. Ask Spirit to look at it with you. This discomfort is your belief in your separation from God. It is your guilt. Bring this to Spirit and ask to be able to see the situation through Its divine eyes. Then let it go.

Constantly have the awareness that what you are seeing or experiencing may not be real. Give up your attachment to how things are working in the world; stop pretending you know how things should or shouldn’t be. It is the ego voice that thinks you know. Your ego has an investment in keeping you tied into the illusion. So you are both in the world and not in the world at the same time. You face and fully accept the lessons that are presented to you. You then turn and give whatever pain, guilt, and confusion there is to Spirit, asking for help in seeing it for what it really is. You ask to be able to forgive, which is only possible with the acceptance that there is nothing to forgive. Bit by bit you become aware of the illusion. There is no rush. It is not your job to see through the illusion, to have the realization that the world does not truly exist. Spirit will do that work for you. Your only job is to be aware that any pain or discomfort you feel is always sensed through your ego’s eyes. With that awareness, you then bring it to Spirit. Looking through Spirit’s eyes, nothing in the world could cause you any distress. You would be filled with love and peace.

As you feel love and peace in your day…..wonderful! If other feelings arise, it is not your job to pretend that all is perfect, that you are more advanced in your process than you are. Notice that you are being presented with a challenge in your classroom. Your guilt is manifesting in form, but you have an opportunity to notice and give it to Spirit rather than crumbling into self-flagellation or finger pointing. This challenge is a great gift of Spirit to assist in your eventual awakening. You are taking seriously something that is actually kind of funny….Divinity pretending to be hapless. Your only job is to notice and then to ask Spirit to help you with seeing the truth, with forgiveness. Either Spirit or ego is active. Which one is it? Notice. If there is anything other than love and peace, it is not your responsibility to see it differently, only to ask for help. Spirit in its own way and in its own timing will bring the awakening to you. Gradually, you will find the pain, the fear, and the discomfort melting away, no matter what transpires in the world about you. It is never your job to change what is happening in your classroom. This is not about behaving in a different manner. It is only about noticing and being willing to have Spirit work through you. Everything is happening exactly as it should. No change is needed except the changing of your mind. Change your mind.

Good Now

Sanhia

Are love and hate opposites?

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One common question when looking at this world of duality, this illusion of opposites, is to ask if hate is the opposite of love. That’s a very good question. The answer is that love has no opposite, because it is not a part of the illusion. Love is absolute; it is truth; it is Divine. Love is the true nature of God and the true nature of you. So, you may be wondering, what about this love and hate that people are always talking about? They certainly seem like opposites. Yes, you are right about that because when humans talk about love they are usually not talking about Divine love, which we could call “holy love”. Holy love is unconditional. It is not something that can be earned, nor can it be lost. There is nothing you could do to change the unconditional love of God. Nor is there anything you could do to earn that love because you already have it. But in human terms love has many conditions. We will identify this conditional love as “special love”. It does have an opposite, which we can call “special hate”. Hate is absolutely a part of the illusion. There is no concept of hate in Divinity; it doesn’t exist. You could say that special love and special hate are opposite sides of the same coin, heads and tails, good guy and bad guy. They are part of the world of judgment and separation.

Let’s explain it like this: In this belief you have that you are separate from God and that God has disowned you, has cast you out, is angry with you and wants to punish you – in this absolute untruth which is nothing more than a projection upon God of your own guilt and self-judgment – no one wants to face that guilt and to feel that badly about themselves. Even those of you who are depressed and self-deprecating are not that depressed and that self-deprecating. There is no pain that could equal that of fully feeling the imagined separation from God. You don’t want to go through that and therefore do not want to take responsibility for having caused that separation. What you do then is to project that pain. When you project it upon another, they are now at fault for your pain and discomfort. That is called special hate. It might be an individual who you see as your enemy. Maybe you blame your mother or your father for your pain and troubles. Perhaps it is your ex who ruined your life. What happens is that through projection you make somebody the bad guy. Sometimes this projection is not so personal; it could be a politician, or a race, or a country, or a religion – but you create multiple evil ones. The, perhaps, unspoken direction you are giving is: “God! Get them. It is their fault, not mine. Look how I suffer at their hands. Punish them. Condemn them to hell. Bring me home with you. I am the innocent victim here.”

This creation of enemies and special hate is an ego game. It permits you to not take responsibility and look at your own creation of the illusion with all its pain and suffering. It allows you to hide from your guilt that you separated from God – which you never did – and to pretend that the guilt isn’t even there. That all may sound confusing, and it is! There is a double bind. You have guilt over something you never did, but you can’t get rid of this guilt because you refuse to even look at it or admit that it exists. How can you forgive yourself for something you never did if you refuse to face the fact that you believe you did it? Your ego convinces you that the way out is to find others to blame. This ruse is destined to fail because they are not at fault either. There is nobody to blame because nothing ever really happened. This is why forgiveness is so crucial. You cannot forgive yourself and blame others at the same time. Forgive them and yourself. Nobody is at fault. There never was a separation from God. God loves everyone unconditionally.

On the other hand, because you don’t want to go through life just hating everybody, you create special love. You create those who agree with you. They sympathize with your victimhood – “poor you” – and agree with all of your judgments. These friendships are built upon common enemies. But it can go much further. When you don’t believe that you are a good person or loveable, you create these people to come in and tell you how wonderful you are. This especially emerges in special romantic love. Here two people agree to hold each other up on a pedestal. In the end special love cannot work because it is created from fear. No matter how much your partner might tell you that you are loveable, deep down inside you are sure that you are not. You cannot fully trust their love because you don’t believe that you deserve it. This means that you don’t fully trust your partner either. And that is just the beginning. Special love is always conditional. You love the other because of how they make you feel, so you want them to always continue to make you feel this way. Change is a dangerous thing. Strings are always there. “If you loved me you would…..” Each person wants something from the other. At first it is so wonderful to feel wanted, then it slowly dawns on you – at least on a subconscious level – that you are codependent. Without them loving you as you wish to be loved you are not happy. That dependency slowly turns into resentment. What you used to love about your partner now drives you crazy. What used to be cute is now irritating. You rebel against the codependency. Having to be a certain way to keep the other’s love makes you a prisoner. You cannot be who you are in the moment, in the NOW. That is special love, which can gradually turn into special hate. They are opposite sides of the same coin. It is possible for two people to hold on to the special love through holding common judgments and enemies and friends, but this is at the cost of denying their Divine selves, being unable to look at their own or their partner’s guilt.

When one holds guilt, there can only be special relationships. The purpose of relationships is to project the guilt away either through special love or special hate. Ultimately all special relationships keep you stuck in the circle. The exit from this vicious circle always lies in forgiveness. You can begin by forgiving those for whom you feel special hate. You can only do this by accepting that this is all an illusion, that they have done nothing, that there is nothing to forgive. This illusion is all your creation. They are merely acting out your orders. For those whom you feel special love, set them free. Look at your expectations. What do you want from them? What is their part of the agreement that allows you to continue loving them? Notice also the places where they don’t seem to be holding up their end, places where you are already beginning to withhold your special love. Again focus on forgiveness. Bring all of this to Spirit. If you want to wake up, if you want to follow Spirit’s guidance which leads you to experience the truth of your Divinity and of the holy love that is you, it is absolutely necessary to give up these special relationships, the special hate and the special love.

It is a given that as a human you will have both special love and special hate relationships. That is part of your classroom, part of the battleground. If you did not have those relationships you would not be in a body. If you always saw every human through the unconditionally loving eyes of God – asking nothing of them, not judging them, seeing their divinity – you would also be holding yourself as Divine. If you were holding yourself in that way, you wouldn’t be here – at least not for long. Remember not to judge yourself for having special relationships. They are necessary to your awakening. Notice them and bring them to Spirit. Your intention is always to replace the special relationship with the holy relationship. The holy relationship is one where you have fully forgiven the other for what they have done – or more precisely for what they have not done. It is a knowing that everything in the world is illusion and that the truth of them is Divine. The holy relationship demands nothing on the part of the other. It doesn’t even matter if they have intended to cause you pain. They might be filled with judgment about you. Your job is to see them as Divine, though perhaps asleep. You take responsibility for any pain, knowing that only you could create any suffering, out of your own guilt. The other has done you the Divine favor of pointing out that you have guilt so that you can bring it Spirit for release. Through Divine eyes each relationship becomes a holy one. Reciprocation is not required. It is absolutely irrelevant whether the other has any commitment to realizing holy love. What is there is your mirror. If they seem to be denying you unconditional love, that is your creation. That is what you are denying to yourself. This is never about them. It is about you. Go to Spirit. Ask for support in releasing your guilt and accepting your innocence and the full love of God. When you only feel love coming to you from all others, you are realizing holy love. Only you can block holy love and only you can ask for it to fill you.

This does not mean that you need to throw yourself to the wolves by surrounding yourself with those who most challenge your ability to feel holy love. Spirit will bring you the lessons you need to learn. You can even learn these lessons alone by allowing your memories to come in to your mind, looking for where special love or special hate remains. It makes no difference if the specialness feels minor; love is either special or holy. That would be like saying to God, “I don’t hate you, but you’re not my favorite god.” There is no in between. There is the absolute unconditional love of God and there is specialness. This may seem to be an enormous gap and you are likely wondering how to cross it. It will probably not be in one big jump. This is just like we have discussed before when we have talked about choosing to stop listening to ego’s voice and instead listening to the quiet gentle voice of Spirit. You begin by noticing when a relationship is expressing either special love or special hate. This is the most important step. Your ego has convinced you forever that there are good people and bad people. It is a big deal just to notice that you are playing that game. You are halfway home. Great job! Congratulate yourself for noticing and bring it to Spirit. Remember the forgiveness work is Spirit’s and not yours. Your job is to notice your illusion, bring it to Spirit, and listen for any guidance. You do this over and over. There are no special people, neither especially good nor especially bad. There are only Divine children of God, asleep and in the process of waking up. Again, your job is simple. Notice when you think somebody is special, whether you experience it as special love or special hate. Bring it to Spirit and ask for help in converting the specialness to holiness. There can be no greater trade off for you then exchanging special love for holy love and experiencing the full love of God.

Good Now

Sanhia