Is This My Will or God’s Will? How to Differentiate Personal and Divine Will

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(click for audio on YouTube)

(transcript from a recent session)

Good Now!

Participant: I have two questions that are essential for me. One is about my knee and the difficulties of walking, as well as some other annoying health problems. There is a lot of fear and guilt around this.  How can I deal with this discomfort? Is there a lesson for me to learn? The second question concerns the noticing that I easily feel unloved, abandoned, or betrayed. It’s like I’m not sure I’m worthy of love and want to get affirmation from others. This feels out of balance and it is painful. I am trying to accept the will of God and let go of my personal will, but how do I know for sure which is which or understand the reason for God’s will being as it is?

So, there is some confusion in the mind about personal will and the Will of God. 

Participant: Yes. there certainly is.

We could put it in this way. We could say that the personal will is focusing the energy on things that are not truly desired.

Participant: It’s like I don’t know my own best.

For example, do you wish to have difficulty with your knee?

Participant: No

So, the situation with the knee is a focus on something you don’t want. That is an expression of personal will. The same with the other physical characteristics you have mentioned.

Participant: When you say it like that, I can get it at once.

The focus on the Divine would go something like this, “My body is perfect; everything is happening as it should.” Then, you let it happen. The personal will comes in and expresses concern with what is. It thinks it should feel differently in your knee. It worries that you should do something: training more or in different ways, applying salves, or taking supplements. None of these possible actions are motivated by love. They are not based in passion, but rather in fear. This is always the case with the personal will. For some, training is a passion. Be honest with yourself. Is that true for you here?

 Participant: There is a confusion in me. I don’t feel a passion to train in that way, though some of it I do enjoy.

Then let there be a clarity that you are doing things out of the joy of doing them, not to heal yourself. Do you passionately want to not be whole, to require healing? No, those thoughts come from the personal will. 

Participant: I can feel that. At the same time there is an enormous abyss there. 

Come back to the question of what you truly want without any reservations, without any guilt or shoulds. Do you desire to need healing or do you wish to know you are whole? What is it that you truly want? That is the Divine Will.

Participant: I spend a lot of time investigating the pain of my stories. If that is the will of God, I just want to accept it. I can stop trying to understand; I just need to know this is the will of God. I want to come to that point. But how to do this daily? Sometimes the physical sensations are so strong, and then my ego kicks in. It feels like a healing war.

Let’s go back to ground zero. Your expression suggests that you hold the Will of God to sometimes include “lessons” that will be good for you to learn. Let’s look at things from a different perspective. There is only one will. It is yours, the Divine You. You create everything in your experience through this mental activity. You have always done that. Many of these thoughts are based on beliefs that are not self-serving, such as not being deserving of love or being a victim to things from the outside that bring injury or sickness to the body. When you believe these things, because you are all powerful, such happenings are drawn to you. So, the first order of business is to stop holding thoughts that you are not passionate about manifesting. However, thoughts you have previously held are still doing their work. In reaction to their realization you are likely to experience what are called negative emotions. You cannot go backward and un-think those thoughts, but you can accept the feelings and sensations that they trigger and let them be there. This is not the “Will of God” acting on you, it is your “personal will” reaping what it has sown. It is not real; it is not forever. Let it be present – you have no choice as it is here. Eventually as you stop holding self-destructive thoughts, your experience will change. In order to have the power to choose your passion, you must also have the power to choose your poison. When you have had enough of that, you will let go of your addiction to pain. Again, there is only the Will of God. It is a question of what you are choosing. Any place you hold victimhood, you will continue to feel its effects. What is present is fully your creation, coming from the beliefs you hold. Don’t fight that, just decide to choose differently from this day forward. You will likely backslide, but stay with it. That’s what you do every day. Thoughts of being unlovable or needing to control the world to be safe do not come from love and passion. Love yourself with every thought. Worry does not come from passion. The Divine Will does not want to be healed, it wants to be certain of its wholeness. Would you rather see yourself as whole or broken? What does Divinity choose?

Participant: I need help. There is a part of me that doesn’t have that trust. I feel what you are saying, but how am I to fully step out there?

The power here is in how you choose to use the mind. You can use the mind to support the ego or you can use the mind to support Divinity. 

Participant: I want to support the Will of God but at the same time there is an area where I am not aware of what my mind is doing. 

Then, be aware. What is stopping you from being aware? 

Participant: It’s an enormous habit; it’s like being hypnotized. 

It is really very simple. If you are not feeling the Oneness, the Love of God, the Peace – you know the mind is holding on to something that is not true, creating a separation from the truth of your Divinity. It cannot be any other way. 

Participant: When you say that I can see that there is a belief in the body. When the knee does not feel as I think it should, then I think there is something wrong. That is where I am stuck. I really need help with this.

You can always begin by taking a deep breath and letting everything flow through you. Whatever is going on with the body that is not desired, that feels painful or fearful, is the creation of the ego mind. Know that behind all of this is a belief the ego mind is holding on to. Notice what your belief is and ask yourself in your heart of hearts if this is what you want your reality to be. 

Participant: So are you saying I just need to let it go? 

Let it go and know there is nothing to understand, nothing to figure out. The only question is what in your Divine Will do you truly want here. Let me give an example of how this might work. Let’s say that a person says that their will is to be taken care of financially. So, they decide to train to be a teacher, get a job, and work hard to maintain the position, and create the financial security they desire. This person is not being honest to their true will. It might not be in their heart to do that training, certainly not every day nor all aspects of it. They probably don’t truly wish to work as many hours nor as hard as they are asked to. There are likely some requirements of the job they dread facing. With all of those sacrifices, the job probably doesn’t pay enough – there are unmet desires. The security lasts only as long as they are able to keep the job. Changes in the market, or in personal health could put the job in jeopardy. If they are fully honest with themselves, they will go directly for what the Will of God is rather than thinking that the ego has to create and sacrifice in order to get there. Going directly there is focusing on the thought that they are always taken care of. That, rather than the teaching job, is what they truly want. Any thought that they are not always taken care of, that a certain action on their part may be necessary to ensure their security is holding a belief that they do not wish to be true. This creates a world of pain and suffering. There is no way to experience total support without sacrifice as long as limiting ego beliefs are harkened to. This is following personal will instead of Divine Will.

Let’s say that the training was to become a psychotherapist. Let’s say that the desire to investigate this field is the Divine moving in you. You want to explore the depths of psychology both for yourself as well as for sharing with and providing service to others. You are not doing this to provide financial security, but because the Love within you wants to create in this way. This is following the Will of God. In this quest you may find the training to demand things you are not willing to give. Stay with your Divine Will. You may have to create a whole new system of psychotherapy; you may not fit into the existing job structures. No problem. Stay with your inner guidance. Follow your passion. You have asked to be taken care of and you will be. That is of secondary concern. What is primary is the direction you are guided to take. Stay true to that. That is the Will of God. God does not settle for less. 

Participant: I feel taken care of economically; it is with love that I feel unworthy. 

We took this off in another direction so that we could play with it, so that it went away from the personal, but let’s bring it back there. As long as you allow your mind to play limiting games – not focusing on what you truly want, which is to feel and know that you are always loved – but asking yourself what you have to do to be loved. Maybe if your hair is just right, or if you looked younger, or if you are of service to others you will feel loved. 

Participant: I can see the craziness in it with your help.

Maybe the thought comes that if you can control the thoughts, actions, and energy of those around you so they will do as you wish them to, you will feel loved. You can always tell when it is the ego mind going; there is something in the middle. Instead of going directly for what you want, you create intermediary steps of things you believe you have to do to create what you want. None of these things are what you truly want. You have no true passion for doing them. Not only are these actions not what you truly wish for, they stand in the way of your realization of that Divine Will.

Participant: This morning I was paying attention to the energy in my knee and the pain didn’t scare me away, I didn’t experience it as pain. Then I began to question how I could know that I am right. Can I just feel the energy without taking corrective measures? The authorities tell me it is all about training. I am totally confused.

Don’t give your power, which is your Divine Right, away to anyone – including to Sanhia. You have a physical therapist whom you like and, you believe, is doing the best that she can, but does she listen to her Divine voice? Does she know that God always takes care of her, that everything is taken care of, that she has no need for a job in order to be supported, that she could wake each morning and ask herself what her Divine Will wishes to do with this day – what wants to express in this moment, what wants to happen? Would she be driving around from home to home as she does? Perhaps, but five days a week? This is not about her not trying to do the best that she can. It is about you giving your power away, and at that to one who has likely not claimed her own power. The advice comes from a belief that you are responsible for taking care of yourself. 

Participant: And that you have to fight the body.

So you can think, “Thank you for sharing”, and then follow your own Divine Guidance about what you are inspired to do. Maybe some of her suggestions sound like fun. Do it out of the joy of doing it, not because you are broken and need to be fixed. 

Participant: I see that I have fear around following the Will of God. I make God a part of the feeling that I have to do the training. It is like a war.

Have you made God your projection? You have a choice to make. You can listen to this ego voice that fears God and fears the Will of God, and tells you that you have to take responsibility, that you are broken and need healing, and spend eternity, like Sisyphus, pushing that rock up the hill, only to have it roll back down and having to start over and over again until you get so tired of it all that you decide to just kill off this body…

Participant: Let it kill itself?

No, you do the deed. You say you don’t want to do this anymore, that you are tired of it all. It’s too much; it’s too overwhelming. You don’t want to play this game anymore. Even at this point there are two choices. You can give it to God. What have you got to lose? You are going to die anyway. Or, your body dies because it is still too fearful to surrender to the Will of God. “Stop the world, I want to get off”.

Participant: No, I am not there. I don’t make the decision that I want to die now.

Most people make that decision unconsciously. Nor did you consciously make the decision to have a chronic problem with your knee. This makes it no less your creation. If there is a belief in victimhood, crazy things will happen.

Participant: Is God’s Will also my creation?

This, of course, is the second choice. There is no separation here. God’s Will and your will are one. The former comes from your love and passion while the latter comes from your fear and belief in separation. It is all your creation. The personal will does not represent what you want, however. We could say that your Divine Will back in your twenties was to know that you are loved unconditionally. Your ego mind did not believe that you deserved love. It whispered in your ear that you would be loved if you were a great mime/acrobat. Thus your passion for expressing through this art form became confused with a limiting belief. You could have manifested a successful career that left you still feeling unloved. Perhaps the passion to feel loved was stronger and losing the career made it more likely that you would come to love yourself. It is not important to understand just how things are working, only to realize that your thoughts are all powerful, so having an awareness of them can only support you in realizing your Divine Nature. Again, if you want to know you are loved unconditionally, go straight for that. Forget the diversions. If you have to do anything to earn the love, it is not unconditional; if you are judging yourself (or your mirrors), the love is conditional. Be aware. Go for the love. Totally. Conditional love is always saying, “Prove it to me”. Am I lovable even with this knee? The Divine desire is knowing that you are whole, not that you need and desire healing. The right use of the mind is to only focus on God’s Will, noticing when you are holding on to the separate will, and asking self what the hell you are doing? Why choose to create what isn’t truly desired? Everything is coming into your experience to lead you to what you truly want. That is a reason for not resisting what comes. You have asked for it, so take a good look at what you have asked for and notice how it doesn’t match your true desire. Let go of that type of thinking, that kind of request. Go only for the gold. 

Participant: Thank you.

Good Now!

Sanhia/Spirit

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Can you talk more about the personal self not existing? Part 1

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(recorded from a live session)

The ego mind has its own definition of perfection, and it only, occasionally, accidentally bumps up against the perfection that is. Part of that picture of perfection often is that the ego mind fully understands what is going on. But the ego mind never understands what is going on. It can’t because it is insane. It feels that it is real and it thinks that you are separate from the One. And it feels it has a mind of its own that should be listened to. Einstein once said, “The mind that created the problem is incapable of creating the solution”. You can rest easily with not understanding. Understanding is the function of the ego mind. Knowing is the function of Spirit. So, when you know, it is beyond understanding. There is no explaining why you know or what you know; you just know. There is certainty. That is why when you follow the will of God there is no choice. You just know. If you think there is choice, then you are in the ego mind trying to figure it out. And, as I like to say, good luck with that, because it doesn’t matter what you choose. We’ll talk more about these experiences of noticing, being what you think of as you, but noticing. What kind of experiences? And so you find that the world doesn’t disappear if you wait and don’t make a decision. What is important? If there is fear in the now, then that is what’s in the now. That is the gift. But it is not something to be overcome. 

Participant: Coming up distrust. Sometimes it is painful and I can feel it is so hard not to project it. I can see when I project. It is like abandoning myself. Even though I see all of this it’s really hard to let it go. There is some ego voice that is so angry, or very loud. So it’s really a roller coaster. And there is another thing that is very important, that’s about my karmic eight. What an enormous ego power it has. How my impulse is really driven by this controlling bitch. That is also an important insight. 

The place that we want to come back to is this place where there is no you. If there is no you, then there are no stories. Then there is no karmic eight. That’s a story. You can deal with all of the stories. You have found in another discipline that you could deal with your feelings and deal with your feelings, and the bucket is bottomless. You never reach the end of it. There is always another feeling. There is always something else. If there is fear it works better to accept it than to resist it. But, who is having this fear? As long as you believe there is a you who has fear, you will have fear. But there is no you having this fear. That is the illusion. Go. You look and notice that there is something noticing the story; whatever it might be, that is not the story. It’s simply noticing the story. No different than if you are watching a film on the television. You are noticing that story but you are not the story. So the question continually is, “Who is noticing this?”, and, “Where is this noticer?”  If you keep looking at that and looking at that, if you think you have found the noticer, “Who is noticing the noticer you have found?”  There is a step back and a step back, but there is no forwards and backwards so we are just saying that in a metaphorical sense that there is a step back until there is simply noticing. No noticer, simply noticing. 

Participant: What does that mean? The difference?

When you are watching a film, say on the television, you are noticing. First of all, you are noticing it is all projected on the screen. It’s not real; it’s not happening in your living room. You are simply noticing a projection on the screen. Where there is a character on the screen, you are noticing the character but you are not saying that’s me. But in the screen that you call your life, you are pretending that the character that you call “you” on the screen is real. But it’s not. It’s an actor that you are watching. You can practice when you’re watching the television screen and notice where you project yourself into any of the characters – either through thinking, “Oh, they are a good character”, or “Oh, they are a bad character”, or “Oh, they shouldn’t do that”, or “What are they thinking?”, and so on. Notice that there is projection going on. It’s not real. You turn it off and everything is gone. Nothing is there. Or you can turn it back on and watch the same episode over and over and over. Does it change? It’s just a projection on a screen. So you can practice with that and notice where you are giving reality to what is on the screen. 

Participant: Now when I have experienced so much physical pain it feels so real because you can’t get away from it, or you can take a painkiller but then everything is gone. 

Now you are projecting on your screen. Is there pain present in the now? 

Participant: That is a memory I am talking about. 

But that is what I am talking about. A memory is not the now. It’s not real. It’s not happening. 

Participant: I couldn’t handle that in that way when it was there. And that’s why I bring it up – to get some guidance around it. 

In the now there may be an experience and your mind might label that experience pain. When it labels pain and names it, then it moves out of the now and allows all of the stories of pain that the mind is holding on to, to be experienced in the now. Not simply what is in the now, but the whole idea of pain and everything around it. For example, a thought comes in, “Aw (breathes deeply), what if the pain keeps getting worse and worse?” “What if it gets to a point where I absolutely can’t stand it?” “What if it never stops?” “What is the meaning of this? Is this a punishment for me?” “What have I done?!” “What’s the lesson I’m supposed to learn? What’s the message? Spirit tell me what’s the message! Why am I having this pain?” The mind goes into all of this craziness that has nothing to do with the now. It’s going off in all of these directions instead of simply noticing the sensation, which is not pain. Pain is a word. You don’t experience a word. So you experience something in the body. So you go into it and you just experience nothing but that; let the mind go. Doesn’t matter what it’s about, where it came from, why it’s there, how long – it’s just what is here right now. And so you say, “Thank you Spirit; this is what is here right now”. And you experience it. And if the mind goes a little bit nuts and it’s more than you can tolerate, then take a painkiller. (laughter). There is no right or wrong about it. And then the next time the sensation comes, it’s a new experience. It’s a new now. But you are with the feeling, not with the thought of the feeling, not with the label of the feeling, but just the feeling. I want you to notice the resistance you have to simply letting it be there. 

Participant: Yeah. I see that. 

And so, for example, you project that.

Participant: Yeah,I have noticed that. And it’s one thing to notice it, but it’s not so easy to stop it. 

Yes, but noticing comes first. If you don’t notice it, it goes on forever. And the second thing you do – you can’t stop these thoughts from coming up but you say, “Ooh, but I’m not going to act on that now. Just going to notice that it’s there.”  

Participant: Then I get a little bit shamed about, “I’m so bad I can’t deal with this”, and so there is judgment on myself and…

It’s all the same thing. Judgment is not of the now. Judgment is comparison to what the mind thinks should be there. And the mind’s crazy. 

Participant: There is this fear of letting it go because then there is this abyss. That is so scary. (laughs) Scares the shit out of me. 

So where is this abyss? 

Participant: Yeah. (laughs) Where is the fear? From where does it come? If I accept it then it just takes over. So that is why there is some fighting against it. 

It already has taken over. (laughter) You’ve been letting it take over, empowering it all of your life. They say that the horse is already out of the barn. The thought of the mind always is dual. There is good and there is bad. Only the good is of God; the bad is not. And of course where you fit in, the you you think of as you, you’re on the bad side. 

Participant: I am? (laughs) Always. Trying to be good. “God look at how good I’m being. I’m so good.” But you believe that you’re bad. So what? Punishment? Sickness? “Guilt, fear, all these punishments that come to me because I’m bad.” “But I’m trying to be good. Tell me what I should learn here, God.”  (laughter) And all we’re saying is there’s no good or bad here. Whatever God brings is from God. There are no good gifts from God and bad gifts from God. It’s all Divine. The mind says, “Where is the love?” The truth says, “It’s all love. That’s all there is.” The mind says, “How can I feel loved?” The truth says, “You are love.” But the mind that sees a you as real, separate from God, then sees you as not love, because God is love and you are separate from god, therefore you are not love. 

Participant: Damned if I do and damned if I don’t. 

Loved if you do and loved if you don’t. 

Participant: (laughing) I think I’ll choose that. Is it possible to choose that? Who is choosing?

You’re choosing damned if you do and damned if you don’t, because as long as it’s you choosing, you are choosing separate from God. So no matter what you choose, you are choosing separation. But the truth is…not real. You’re not separate. And the pain is just on the screen. It’s not real. The part of you that believes there is a separate you also believes that pain is probably a good thing; because if you suffer enough, God will take you home. And if you stop suffering you are lost in hell forever. 

Participant: It’s a lot of confusion.

It’s only the mind that creates confusion. There is no confusion, It’s very, very simple. Whatever is here is from God and is Love. If you want to resist and fight it, that’s when it gets confusing. You simply silence what is. How crazy would it be to try to change what is; it already is.

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How do I deal with challenging people in my life?

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There is only one challenging person in your life. That, of course, is you. As long as you consider yourself to be a victim of the actions or behaviors of others, your life on planet Earth will be experienced as less than pleasant. Fortunately, victimhood is not the case. We have spoken before about the term projection. There are worse things that you could do than to print up a dozen cards with the word projection on them and post them throughout your home, car, and workplace…on every mirror, by the toilet…as a constant reminder that all you see in the world is your projection, no exceptions. The ego mind goes absolutely ballistic over this and will try incessantly to create exceptions. There are no exceptions. Cause and effect. You are the cause and the world is the effect. Never the reverse.

So, as they like to say in new age circles, there are no challenges or problems, there are only opportunities. These challenges with other people, which are your own creation, are opportunities for you to free yourself from judgment and separation. Or…you can go on pretending that it’s all about other people…and suffer. It’s your call. We don’t have a horse in this race. As a review, this is how projection works. Your ego mind, which thinks it knows everything or at least can figure everything out, knows nothing and can’t figure out anything. It believes you are this body, but you’re not. It thinks you are separate from God and Divinity, but you’re not. If we present this in the form of a story, keeping in mind that no story is true, it might go something like this. The ego believes that it chose to separate from God. This is the tiny confusion from which all of your “problems” stem. The ego is in error because it is not possible to separate from God. Anyway, on with the story. Ego mind creates this body and this universe as a way and a place to hide from God. Realizing it has made a bad choice, wanting to go back home, desiring God’s forgiveness, but feeling that this attempt to kill God is both unforgivable and deserving of severe punishment – ego is in a tough spot. Let’s list some other things that ego mind doesn’t understand. First, you never left home. There is no separation. The body and the Universe are what is not real. God does not and cannot judge. God is pure Love. God does not and cannot punish. Meanwhile in its imagined sinfulness, ego comes up with a plan. Put the blame on somebody else. Maybe God will notice that it is the other and not you who is guilty and deserving of judgment and punishment. “Burn them God! It’s their fault and not mine. I’m Innocent!”, you think. This is projection. Every time you judge another for anything, small or large, it is your guilt that you are projecting. It is all about you and not about them. In addition, you try to be a “good” person so that God will see that you are worthy to be brought back home. The only problem is that you cannot earn something that you already have and the only one accusing you of sin is you. No number of good acts or projections will cleanse you of your self-imposed guilt. You cannot buy your way into heaven. You never left. It is only this guilt that holds you in your earthly hell. So, forgive yourself. End of story.

Well, not quite. You go on through life projecting. Other people are wrong. Other countries are wrong. Other religions are wrong. You are right and you are good, but there is something inside you that doesn’t buy the whole story, that suspects that it is you who are truly guilty. Deep down is this fear, this dread of the inevitability of the coming retribution. Unconsciously you draw loss, pain, failure, illness, and emotional turmoil into your life, always trying to pay this unpayable debt. This is where the healing can begin. Let go of the projection upon God. Let go at the same time of the projection that you have toward yourself. You are innocent. Nothing happened. You did not leave God. God is not upset. It is all much ado about nothing. You cannot hurt God and God cannot hurt you. There is only Love here.

Now let’s return to the opportunity that you called a challenge. You have heard these words from me, perhaps read similar words in A Course in Miracles or heard them from some other teacher, but the bottom line is that you don’t feel them. You feel yourself to be victim to another’s energy. You’re sick and tired of everything but don’t know what to do with it all. This projection works in a very specific way. You don’t project everything on everyone. You project wonderful things onto some people, seeing them as loving and good. When you find yourself with a specific judgment toward another, that is what you believe about yourself but don’t want to face. You fear being punished, so you go into denial and project. Ego mind jumps in and yells, “I’m not like that!”. In truth you are not, but you believe that you are. Until you own this. Until you accept that the judgment is about self and has nothing to do with the other, nothing will change. You will live in projection and victimhood.

Your job, then, is to take ownership of the projections, to accept that the judgment is aimed toward the self. For example, if your projection is that another is not honest with you, ask how you are not honest with yourself. What untruths about self are you believing to be true? Anything short of recognizing your absolute innocence, your Divinity, is part of the lie. You are absolutely loved by God, but are you telling yourself that you are unlovable? You are always provided for, but are you telling yourself that you are undeserving and needy? Forgiveness is not a matter of recognizing where you have been bad and then asking to be forgiven. It is the realization that you have not and could not err, so there is nothing to forgive. There is only the Love of God.

Let’s look at a specific example so you might gain a clearer picture of how this whole process has worked and could work for you. A popular one for those of you who have children is being a victim to them. “They never clean. They don’t do their homework. They are not responsible. They don’t listen to me. They don’t follow my rules. They don’t respect me as the adult.” We could go on and on and you could each add to the list from your own experiences. Let’s just focus on one part of the litany, “My daughter never cleans up after herself. I am left with the choice of being in a constant fight or surrendering to grudgingly being my daughter’s maid.” The choice you make doesn’t matter. What effects you feel come from what you carry around inside yourself. There is a judgment of her irresponsibility causing you to make one of two equally undesirable choices. There is a good possibility that if you listen inside there is a parent saying a similar thing about you. You were taught to be a good person, to clean up after yourself. Did that result in you feeling like a good person? Probably not. Did you learn to feel guilt when you didn’t clean up? Probably. Did you resent being told what to do? Most likely. Now as an adult you act out of guilt and resentment when you must clean up. Instead of facing this inner anger and judgment, along comes this young whippersnapper on whom you can project all of this. The child may not be carrying the guilt or having a thought about what they should do unless you have been successful in drumming it into her. Maybe she is stronger than you and your parents’ games don’t work with her. Instead of passing your guilt on to her you could realize that each moment of each day you are carrying thoughts about what you should be doing to be a good person. What should you do? What does God want you to do? When you were small your parents represented God for you. They taught you right and wrong, good and bad – providing punishments and rewards. That was your first church.

You have the opportunity to notice that you have been forcing yourself to do what you don’t want to do. Ego mind screams out, “Yeah! But if I don’t do it the house will be a total mess!” Maybe. So what? Ego mind says there is probably a special circle in hell for bad housekeepers. Is that really true? Does God only take back home those with clean houses? What is actually going on here? What is really true? Recalling that God is unconditional love and acceptance, there are no rewards or punishments, no heaven or hell. You never left; it is only the ego mind that believes that what goes on here is of any consequence. So back to now. Do you clean or not clean? Perhaps you wait until you feel like doing it. Perhaps your standards of cleanliness go through a transition. Perhaps you start listening more to what the inner guidance and the body tell you instead of marching to the orders of the guilt driven ego mind. Without a sense of compulsion there may be a joy in the act of cleaning. Perhaps in the now there is exhaustion, so go relax. Above all, thank your daughter for putting you in touch with your guilt and denial. Always thank your mirrors…at least silently.

The root of all the fear, guilt, and blame is in the belief in separation. The truth is that there is Oneness. You are One with the Divine and with each other. What another is doing is what you are doing. It is all connected. In the perfection of what is happening right now in each moment, everything is unfolding exactly as it should. The script, as we said in the last message, has already been written. If you accept what is without resistance, it opens you up to the truth of your Divinity, to your Oneness with the Creator and the creation. Can you begin to see the enormous value of seeing the actions of another as your projection? You are being handed the keys to the kingdom. All is within you, never outside of you. What a perfect gift your child, or whomever appears to be a challenge, is offering you with their every action. All of this requires no volition on anybody’s part. Nobody needs to have any understanding of the part they are playing. They cannot help but to serve you. You only have choice on whether you wish to be served or bothered.

It doesn’t matter if the challenge in your life appears to be somebody who is irresponsible with money, has an addiction, is trying to control you, is abusive, ignores you, doesn’t accept you for who you are, or – we could go on and on and on. It doesn’t matter if this person plays a central part in your life or you only meet them once. You have the choice to be a victim (seemingly forever) or to grasp the opportunity to let go of your imagined separation and see the gift that is being offered. As long as you hold this as being about the other there is no way out. You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. But you are blessed and loved. This is your creation and you are doing a perfect job. Accept it and live in this now. You deserve to experience the Love and Peace that is the truth of You.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

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Is everything preplanned?

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(click for audio on YouTube)

This conversation comes from a recent session.

Participant: Is everything preplanned?

I knew you were going to ask that. (laughs) Just kidding…a little. Both the short answer and the long answer is…yes. One of the favorite games of the ego mind is convincing you that you have choice. Not only does it convince you that you have the power of choice, but also that your choices will affect what will happen in the illusion. Therefore, you have a great responsibility to choose well, because what you choose is what you are going to get. We will start out by asking Our favorite question, “How has that worked for you so far?” Certainly, if you have received whatever you have chosen, we would not be having this conversation. What need would you have for a disembodied voice if you had all the money, fame, success, relationships, sex, adventures, and good health you could ever want? Obviously, you have received many things you never in your worst nightmares would have asked for. I assume for all of you to varying degrees getting what you think you want has not been the normal result for you. What that leaves is the possibility that you didn’t do a good enough job, allowing in too many doubts or thoughts that you could not have what you wanted. In this scenario if you had been pure in your thoughts everything would have worked out perfectly. A corollary to this is that you don’t deserve what you want.

Participant: Is the only choice to follow the Will of God?

Wow! You are way ahead of me. Perhaps we should switch places. We will come around to that point, but let’s fill in a few blanks first. The bottom line here is that if you have the ability to choose and your choice will make a positive difference, then why don’t your choices always work out? Of course, most of you will think of examples where you did choose something and it more or less happened as you desired it to. The question then is, “Having received what you asked for, did that leave you feeling full and complete?” The honest answer to that probably is that though it might have felt good for a period of time, eventually there was something else that you wanted. Perhaps there was not even a short-term satisfaction before realizing that you did not find the feeling you were hoping to have. So, the choosing continues on and on without ever delivering the heaven that has been sought. More likely there is a failure even to gain what is desired.

Let’s jump over to the other side and assume that it makes absolutely no difference what you choose or don’t choose. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. Sometimes your wishes are aligned with that result and sometimes they aren’t. When what happens is aligned, you believe that you did it. You don’t want it to rain because you have a picnic planned and the skies remain clear. Do you now believe that you have power over the weather? If it had rained, who would you have pointed the finger at in blame? Yourself? God? Global warming? Alignment does not prove cause and effect. What if the whole script is already written out and there is nothing you can do to change that story?

Participant: But sometimes I find myself at a fork in the road and my whole life will change based on whether I bend to the left or to the right. Doesn’t that show that choice does make a difference?

Good question. It certainly shows that there is an illusion of the power of choice. It could be said that the choice you make was already written.

Participant: But Sanhia it feels like I could have chosen in the opposite way.

Then why didn’t you? You chose the only way you could choose. Let’s look at how the ego mind actually operates. It is no different than a computer. It is programmed and acts and reacts from that programming. In your programming you have been taught to believe and to act in accordance with all that you have experienced in what appears to be your life story. All of that conditioning leads to the choice you make in this moment. In another moment you might choose quite differently because included in your program now are the results from your previous choice. Your choice in the moment might also be affected by the emotions you are experiencing right at that time. Did you choose to be angry, impatient, pessimistic, or optimistic when it was time to make your choice?  Things constantly change; things that you have little or no control over. Perhaps the choice you are making is totally influenced by your parents’ teachings. Do you remember choosing those parents? Did you choose the teachers you had growing up? Did you choose your religion or lack of one? Did you choose a friend who suddenly appears in your story?  Did you pick your race, gender, or the area where you lived in your formative years? The answers are obvious. Of course not. Yet, all of these experiences formed who you feel yourself to be and out of them you are programmed to make choices. All these events were planned. Nothing was random. Nothing was chosen by you. Yet you act as if you have a power to control the world, to determine your future. That, too, has been programmed into you. As long as you attempt to guide things you will be frustrated. The “best” outcome is that you have moments of feeling successful, periods of peace and happiness. Those moments will end. More likely you will experience a sense of failure and look at your future with foreboding.

Imagine for a moment that you have no choice, that everything is unfolding as it is meant to. You are off the hook. You have no responsibility. You can neither puff up your chest and take credit for what has happened nor blame yourself and feel guilt. You did neither of those things. The place that we call the awakened state is simply one where there is absolute acceptance for what is. Nothing can be changed. It is simply happening. It would be futile to resist what already is because it cannot be changed. It already is! Close your eyes and pretend it isn’t there, but it is still there. You can want to change it, but the genie is already out of the bottle. Here is what the ego mind does when it hears this news. It goes into absolute terror and denial. It asks how can you ever be happy in life if you can’t create what you want? Are you expected to bite the bullet and accept whatever shit comes your way? This, according to the ego mind, is the worst of all hells.

Here’s what happens when you give up fighting what is and simply experience it and live with it. You begin to experience the fullness of life. Ego mind is screaming that what is here isn’t right, it isn’t good, it isn’t what you should have. I am telling you that what is happening is perfect, is exactly what should be happening, is just what you need. Spirit, the Divine, is presenting your perfect now. It is eons beyond what you could have chosen for yourself (and remember your track record). Everything is given in Love.

Participant: So again, the only choice I really have is to choose the Will of God. Maybe this will make me more content with life?

As you said, “the only choice I really have is to choose the Will of God”, but that is still a choice. That may be your intention, but who is expressing that intention? Like all choice, it can only come from the ego mind. Like all your other plans, it may or may not happen. Armed with that intention you drive off down the road only to find you have a flat tire. Is your mind just fine with all of that or do you find yourself in resistance to what is? These reactions are immediate and programmed. The habit that has been nurtured for so long is to resist the Will of God and then to choose what you think would be better. Maybe at some point the awareness that you are resisting what is occurs to you and you stop fighting. Each experience rewires your data base.  Another day you might find yourself just fine with a flat tire as it happens. Perhaps the gap between noticing the resistance and accepting what is will continually narrow.

In the meantime I will simply remind you that not accepting God’s gifts always leaves you feeling separate from your own Divinity. My voice is now a part of your programming as are your attempts and failures to heed it. Be certain that your opportunities to let go of your personal will shall be unlimited. In the meantime, are you in guilt and blame when your choice for God’s Will fails to materialize? Are you then choosing to give up guilt and blame? Who is choosing that? And so it goes. (laughter) This doesn’t mean that things are hopeless and you are helpless. The perfect thing is always happening right now. What you think of as you just isn’t in control. If choosing is present, if guilt and blame are there, you notice that. If you have thought of changing how you respond…you notice that. You are not going to be able to change either of those things. They have already happened, but the noticing, the experience, and the awareness are now part of your programming. Perhaps then over time you find it easier and easier to accept God’s Will. More quickly you are able to let go of “Why is this happening” and “Poor me”. You might find yourself letting go of guilt and blame more speedily. You do this not because of setting such goals, but through the experience that none of that stuff works. It can feel hard to surrender and trust the Will of God instead of pursuing what you want to happen.

Participant: How can it be easier?

Your personal will chooses only out of a sense of separation from God, not from alignment. Personal will accepts almost nothing as it is, instead it thinks about would feel better and visualizes a future with all its desires met, a fantasy of peace, love, and joy. Again, we return to our favorite question, “So, how has that worked out for you so far?” There are three primary reasons why it hasn’t worked out. The first is that you don’t have a clue. What you think will bring you happiness will never do so, will never bring you that sense of peace and Oneness. The second reason is that you are looking in the wrong place. The world cannot give you what you want, because it is simply the projection of your lack. What you seek is within you. It lies with your thoughts and beliefs. If you want love, then be love. Finally, as is the whole point of this message, it is already decided. There is nothing you can do to change anything.

For a moment let’s leap back over to the other side, to the part of you that is able to accept what is without any need or attempt to change it. We could call this the awakened self, although the sense of self has disappeared. There is an observation of that self taking place, but there is no ownership of it. The idea of choice is not present here. This jump cannot be chosen, though you may make efforts toward it by letting go of personal will and asking to hear and follow God’s Will. To believe that you have choice and are separate from Divinity is the sleeping self, living in a dream while believing it is real. This sleeping self believes it must use its personal will, its choice, to protect itself from the universe or from God. The awakened you is One with everything, experiencing rather than choosing and resisting.

Participant: You have been talking about being in the now and accepting what is, that what is here now is exactly what is needed for me. 

Yes. In this perfection of the now, if you are truly there, there is no question of choice. Choice only exists in the horizontal when the mind is referring to the ideas of past and present. In the present there is no choice to make; there is just what is here. Rather than choice there is simply action or reaction, and that also just happens. Any thought of needing to make a choice indicates you are no longer in the now and have drifted off back into sleep. Notice that. That becomes part of your experience. The now is relentless and you have infinite opportunities to be present or not. Again, you cannot choose to be present, but you can notice when you are not. Hmmm. Interesting. Notice where there is judgment, blame, or guilt. Hmmm. Interesting.

Yes, this preplanned world is absolutely perfect. Everything that is present exists to stimulate that leap of faith, that awakening. If your ego mind is running the show right now, that is what is perfect. Notice that and accept it. Or don’t notice or don’t accept. It doesn’t matter. It is still perfect. When it is time to notice or to accept, you will do that. Nothing you do in following the lies of the ego mind makes any real difference. What is true is true, and what is true is of Love and of God. The rest is a dream, or if you prefer, a nightmare. There is no such thing as failure or success, but there is a perfection in holding on to the belief in them until you don’t. Spirit’s GPS is guiding you and loving you in every moment, even when you feel the most alone and abandoned.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

All Rights Reserved © 2025 Channels Without Borders
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Can you explain more about personal will and God’s Will?

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The following was taken from a recent group session.

Participant One: I have a question about the Will of God. Is it our awakened will? Why would such a will need to exist? Does it lead to something good in the end? What is this God?

Sanhia: The real questions are, “Why is what is happening?” Is there purpose or meaning in it? Is there any connection or Oneness in it or is it just random? If you resist or fight whatever is happening, you will experience pain and suffering, and it will still be here. You may decide to stop resisting because you can’t do anything about it. This level of acceptance might be to say that you won’t try to change things, but you’re still pissed about it. Your will is that it be different. The only way to find out if what I am saying has any substance to it is to try it. So, we can replace the expression “the Will of God” with “what is”. Instead of “personal will” we can use, “I don’t want what is” or “how I want to change what is”. Be aware where personal will exists and experiment with not empowering it, not following it. See what happens when you welcome or practice expressing gratitude for what is. What have you got to lose when you have realized you are powerless to change what is. Goal setting and positive thinking just don’t work. It’s not about understanding. That need to know will just lead you down the same rabbit hole. Your only job is to recognize when your personal will is active. Notice that you cannot simply decide to not have a personal will anymore, because it is expressing in your present. That would be a resistance to what is. Notice but don’t follow. It may seem that you can’t decide anything. That can be a healthy realization.

So, for you it seems that your right now is that your husband feels stressed around his work. Your personal will wants to do something about it. Why fight what is? So, you notice and then see what comes into the new now. Is it true that your husband should not be experiencing what is happening? Is it true that you should do something about it? Are you certain you have a better idea about what should be? If you are not sure, why do you choose to fight? What if you could rise high above all that is, see through all illusions of time and space, see that your husband is experiencing exactly the perfect thing to support his awakening?  Here you are resisting what God is bringing. Are you doing this for yourself also? All you need to know is that this is what is.

Participant One: Does this mean that I should never take any action? What if God wants me to respond here in a certain way?

Sanhia: If that is what is wanted in the situation you won’t be able to stop yourself from doing it. Choice is not involved. When you spontaneously react, all you can do is notice what happened. When you act from your inner guidance there is no question of whether you did the right thing or not. There is no expectation of any specific result or reaction from your husband. If a similar situation were to occur tomorrow, you might find yourself guided to act in a totally different way. It is never about right or wrong. This gives you enormous freedom to just be in the present, responding to what is.

Participant One: It seems that it just becomes witnessing, witnessing, witnessing. Do I have any importance?

Sanhia. Let’s just play around here. We will use words because that is all we have. God created you in Its own image. For fun. God desired to have someone to play with. But if they only do what God wants them to do, then they are not in Its image because God does as It wishes in every moment. How does God create a game where It can play with the creations without controlling them, having the potential for meeting as the equals they are? The only difference between you and God is that God is the creator while you are the created. You did not create yourself, but otherwise were created in God’s image. Your relationship with Jesus, for example, is as an absolute equal, both created by God. So, we are playing this game and when you realize that We are One in Divinity, how could We have different Wills? It isn’t that the human bows down to the Will of God, it is that there is absolutely no difference between them. When you believe there is a difference and that God is up there and you are down here, there is fear. You feel a need to choose independently of God out of fear. Fear generates more fear. But you are not separate. God is just here and trying to play. You are the aspect of God that seems to have a body and senses and can play in the physical illusion.

Participant Two: Is blame part of the game?

Sanhia: Blame is only apart of the game in terms of fear and resistance to the game. In the now there is no blame; there is just the reacting to the moment, the playing of the game. Everything and its opposite are true at the same time. This drives the mind crazy until it drops out of the competition and plays with what is instead of what isn’t. I have been telling you that you have no free will, but without free will, you could not choose the Will of God over your personal will. Without free will, you cannot surrender your free will. Had you been created without free will, you would just do what God wanted.

Participant Two: That might be better.

Sanhia: But what fun would that be for God? How can you truly have fun with others if you believe there is a level difference? In that case one of you feels responsible for the other. It’s ball-and-chain time again. Your belief is that you must have your personal will to be free, but that is actually the ball-and-chain. A rebel has no freedom because he is limited to acting in opposition. If you really look at what is, rather than what you think it should be, you will have the realization that no improvement could be made. Just hearing that is meaningless. It is something you must investigate for yourself. When you ask the question, “What is God?” You are God, but not the part of God that created you. It is all One. Personal will is based on the untruth that you are separate from God. There is no trust in the separation. It believes that if you don’t take care of you, nobody will. The insane thought is that you can do things better than God can. Part of that confusion comes from your belief that what you see in the world is God’s creation rather than your projection.

Participant One: Is our personal will really our will or is it our rebellion?

Sanhia: You have freedom only if you take it. Most people do not exercise that freedom. They listen to the dictates of their minds, which were trained by the mass consciousness, and then carry out the will of other humans rather than listening within to their own Divine Will and following that. In this way they keep themselves in bondage going to jobs they don’t love, sacrificing the now for illusory futures, remaining in unsatisfying relationships, watching their dreams and their bodies slowly deteriorate.  Out of a world of infinite choice where they can follow their passions and truly live for the moment, they keep themselves chained to unsatisfactory pasts and unknown futures. Personal will becomes an exercise in how they can best keep themselves safe. But they can’t. There is no certainty other than death and taxes. You are created in the image of God. You can play creatively in the universe with God. You can be “buds”, hang out.

Participant One: But you are saying that I cannot change what God has done, that I only have the power to accept what is.

Sanhia: That thinking comes from the belief of being separate from God. When you surrender to God’s Will you are surrendering to your own true will. Your personal will is a lie. It’s not the truth. It is not what you truly want.

Participant One: One could say that this personal will is connected to my separation story, that I am guilty, and God is out to get me.

Sanhia: If you were God and were creating a world it would be one where people never had to worry about food or shelter or any of those types of things. Each time you set goals to handle such matters you are expressing the belief that they are not already being taken care of. You are refusing to accept God’s gifts and feeling you must take that role upon yourself. Rather than trusting and living in the now, you are trying to control and live in a future that doesn’t exist. You are using your Divine power to be powerless. Therefore, I am saying that your personal will never serves your true interests.

Participant One: So, I have been using my personal will to try to create something that is already here right now.

Sanhia: Yes, and most likely in a superior form from what your personal will had in mind.

Participant One: Thank you! That is enough!

Sanhia: If the mind goes “How?”, the response is to open your eyes and look around. It’s here right now. It has always been here right now. You are always provided for. There have been no times when you starved to death, when you could not breathe, when you had no awareness, when you weren’t in the now – even if your thoughts were elsewhere. Do you remember the times that were the most glorious, the times when you truly felt alive? All times are like that when you let go of the mind thoughts about how things should be and face what is. How it is is exactly what you want it to be. Nothing has to change. Now you can play with God. Accepting what is does not mean rolling over and playing dead. It does not mean inactivity. It means that you listen to the Divine Guidance within you and react to what is. You are fully engaged in this dance with God. This awareness and co-creation will not burst into being and stay forever. It will come in bits and pieces. Two steps forward, one step back. This is perfect. No faster than you can assimilate. There may be old fears and beliefs still to become aware of and let go of, more personal will to become aware of and released. The Will of God is always there, always carrying you, always deeply desired.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

Can you explain to us about co-dependency?

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This question surfaced in a group several months ago, but now the time has come to respond to it. We will begin by talking about what is referred to as the special relationship in A Course in Miracles. The special relationship is a co-dependent relationship. Since most human relationships are special, they are in most cases co-dependent. If your mind wants to limit the term co-dependency to extreme or diagnosable relationships, it is aiming a bit high. But first, let Us step back and define the special relationship. It has been some time since we have mentioned this, and likely before many of you began reading the messages. In the special relationship one person wants the other to act in a specific way, to play a certain role. For example, you meet someone and they make you feel special; they make you feel loveable. Whatever it is that they do that makes you feel good or special, you want them to continue. This is co-dependency. You have a need for them to keep on doing those things that make you feel so wonderful. Normally in the special relationship this neediness goes both ways, but let’s just stay with you for now. There is a flip side to the co-dependent relationship. This is where the words or actions of someone you spend a bit of time with seem to cause you upset, pain, or negative emotions. You blame them for your negative reactions. You point the finger; You think you are going through what you are feeling because of them. This is a co-dependent relationship. Special relationships usually have a mix of both the positive and the negative triggers. As we have talked about recently, these liaisons involve projection. We have focused more on the negative aspect there, where you don’t wish to see yourself as having a certain quality so you can then convince yourself that it is the other and not you who is that way. This is co-dependency.

The projecting goes both ways, though. If you are unable to see yourself as loveable, you let another do that for you. The biggest problem here is that, as with all projections, deep inside you believe it isn’t true. You don’t love yourself or believe that you are deserving of love. Sooner or later your denial surfaces and you prove your partner to be wrong. You will not be able to continue performing for them and they will not be able to always act as you wish them to. It feels so good to have someone tell you that you are loveable, but you don’t really trust that. You begin to resent having to perform for them. You become upset if they change in any way or show you anything but unconditional acceptance. The honeymoon is over. The flame of your relationship was based on the other causing you to feel in a certain way, but now that has blown out. The things that used to turn you on begin to turn you off. This is the normal trajectory of the co-dependent relationship. If you doggedly hold on to the need for them to complete you, the battle will rage on and on. The negative aspects of projection may grow to exceed the positive ones. At this point you may decide to pull the plug. Since the problem is with the other, you have obviously picked wrongly. You seek another relationship. Until you give up co-dependency, reclaim your projections, and take responsibility for everything in your life as your creation, the new relationship will go through the same cycle. In despair somewhere along the way, you may decide to stay with the relationship you have, withdrawing from your partner and settling for feeling separate and unloved, deciding on some level that is all you are worth. Even then, there is still the possibility that you can stop looking to your partner for the love you want. The only solution, whether choosing fight or flight, is to come to the point of recognition that this isn’t working and it is time to try something else.

Sometimes in this special relationship you feel that you must take responsibility for the other. This often happens for parents, but it can just as well be a part of a committed relationship. Now you are doubly trapped because the bond is not only unfulfilling, but you have too much guilt to be able to leave. The other person needs you, or so you believe.

So, what is there beyond co-dependency? The relationship that is not marked by specialness can be called a holy relationship. In this association you have no desire for the other to be or do anything different from what they are now expressing. You accept them as they are. You love them without conditions. It is not possible to express unconditional love for another unless you are already doing that for yourself. When you are fully accepting yourself, you notice where you have guilt, where you are judging, where you are unkind to yourself, where you are experiencing strong emotions, and you commit to loving, accepting, and forgiving all of that. You take full responsibility for what you are thinking and feeling about yourself. You own your projections mirrored in those who trigger you. You do not allow these projections to go unchallenged. Remind yourself that this is you. This is what you are not wanting to face in yourself. Notice what you are holding to be true about yourself from both your own thoughts and from your projections and ask if those thoughts are really true. Work with all of that. Own it all. Take responsibility and sort through it. Look nowhere but within for the love you seek. Where you find this challenging, give it to Spirit, give it to God.

Let go of those thoughts. Don’t hold on to them or follow them. Don’t act from them. Notice them and move on. If the thoughts return, be willing to stare them in the face. Look deeply to see if there is indeed truth there. I know they are not true, but you must stay with them until you too know it. You are the Divine Child of God, made in the image of your Creator, an entity of love. That’s all you can be. Anything else you are holding on to is not the truth. It stems from the belief that you have separated from God. That is not possible. That is an illusion. That is the illusion. The holy relationship is your relationship with the Divine; it is only about unconditional love. The only function of the special relationship is to show you where you are co-dependent and not giving everything to God. It is an opportunity to recognize where you hold untruths about yourself so that you can realize your Oneness with God. Your relationships with others don’t exist in order for you to get something from them, but as places for you to give love. You have no need to be completed. You are whole. It is never about changing another or yourself. It is all about accepting the Divinity which is the truth of all.

I want to remind you that co-dependency is not limited to the perceived negative aspects, to the places where you judge or feel yourself to be victim to another. It is just as significant with the things you perceive coming from others that you consider to be positive. When you know that you are love, created in the image of God, how can you have any need to hear that from another. The latter expression can only feel good to you, feel special, if you have doubts as to its veracity. Whether the reinforcement from others feels to be negative or positive, it is just a pointer to where you are holding yourself separate from God. Give silent thanks for the reminder, take it to heart, and go to work.

Over time you will find yourself unable to hold on to the praise of others. You will perhaps begin to doubt their sincerity. You decide they are just being nice or that they have ulterior motives, they want something from you. They’re buttering you up, “kissing your ass”. The bottom line is that you cannot receive from them something you don’t know to be true. If you know its truth, the praise is redundant. Otherwise, it may feel good for a moment but, like with any drug, the effect begins to wear off and you desire another hit. You start to do things to win other’s approval. Perhaps you do things to prove they are wrong in their praise. The bottom line is that you cannot receive from them something you don’t know to be true.

If you know you are love, you will have nothing but love for others, no matter what they might say or do. As you are practicing loving yourself unconditionally, letting go of all guilt, judgment, self-hatred – think about loving others unconditionally. Have the intention to give love to everyone you meet, rather than looking for what you can get. See their Divinity. Look through their pretence at being human and unlovable. Observe the truth of them. Know they are doing the best they can and offer whatever you can to lighten their load. Have a holy relationship with everybody. Above all, have that with yourself, particularly when you are aware of its absence. Be kind, loving, and gentle to yourself and ask for Spirit to come help you release your personal will and surrender to the Will of God, Who only loves you.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

How should I deal with my strong feelings?

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There is a significant difference between noticing a feeling that comes up in your now and defining yourself by that feeling and accepting it as the truth about you. In the moment you may feel grief. To describe yourself by saying that you are grieving expresses a thought from the past which will carry on indefinitely. This becomes your belief of who you are. The former simply means that you are aware that a feeling is present. You can then pay attention to the next thing that comes to you. Rather than holding on to the feeling, which then becomes an idea and identification, you simply allow yourself to notice and release each feeling or thought as it emerges into your awareness. You can tell when someone has defined themself by an emotion, because they hold on to that same feeling/thought for many years. Holding on to old feelings and judgments keeps you out of the present. You become a prisoner of those emotions, caught in a web of suffering. We would be the last to say to ignore the feelings. Acknowledge them! Then let them go and let the next feeling or thought enter. Be aware of where there might be roles you think you should play to accompany the feelings that come. Are you supposed to act sad, angry, or as a victim? Recognize when you are playing a role and then move on. It is also not for you to analyze, justify, or rationalize what appears. What stories have you been telling yourself? Are you certain they are true?

I want to suggest that whoever in your life, past or present, you feel you really know…you are fooling yourself about that. You have no idea who they are. You see your projection upon them, not them themselves. In a similar manner you are aware that nobody around you fully and completely sees you. Part of that comes from your hiding in the belief that invisibility provides you with safety; that if people really knew who you were it would be all over. They would reject you, wouldn’t love you, would see you for the idiot you are afraid you are, and would ostracize you – throw you into the wilderness to the wolves. If people knew you “warts and all” they would not want to be around you. Instead you want to present the image that you believe is loveable. This is not honest. It is not the truth of who you are in the now, and you become hostage to upholding that disguise. These false fronts might include that you are a good mother, considerate, spiritual, honest, intelligent, successful, and on and on. These are ideas, images. What is a spiritual person like? They never lose their temper, judge others, feel guilt, or suffer pain? If inappropriate feelings or thoughts arise, you then want to deny them. If they are too strong, you may succumb to them, go into despair and self-blame, and define yourself as an unspiritual failure. Meanwhile, you are free to be who you are in this moment, which might be angry, grieving, sad, happy, jealous, or guilty. Feel that fully without defense or thinking you should be different. Experience the full spectrum of emotions, and then let them go to feel the next item on your palette.

If it is not okay to feel those things, you either cover them up or succumb to them and they will run your life. None of these feelings or ideas about yourself has anything to do with the truth of who you are. They are experiences to be had and then released. If you try to understand or explain the truth, you will fail. These beliefs become a place to hide, but provide no real peace. As we said before, you can never truly know another or yourself or be known because there are no such separate identities. All those defining thoughts about self and others are just that, thoughts. They come from the past and have nothing to do with the now, the only place you will ever be. In the now you will have many experiences, but none of them have anything to say about who you are, only about what is happening. So buckle up and enjoy the ride. The only thing you can be sure of is that the now always changes. If you hold on to it you leave little room for the new that is constantly appearing. Pain can dissipate quite quickly, but suffering happens when you hold on to your pain. Notice your emotion; take a breath; let it go; see what comes next. Receive each moment fully, without resistance. Let the perfection of the now wash over you. Hold on to none of it, whether it feels good or bad.

Why are we saying these things to you? We are not telling what the truth is or what your spiritual practice should be like. Such things cannot be done. Whatever is suggested here can be considered as “pointers”, pointing toward the truth but never defining it. That work is yours. Reading these words is of little value if they are just taken as ideas, and is of no value if they are taken as the truth. If you are at peace with all that is present in your life, continue as you are. If you are not at peace but fear rocking the boat, look at that and let it go. The longtime habit is to be run by the past and fearful of the future. The only “truth” I would attempt to offer is that anything you think is true is not and that holding on to any belief will only bring you more pain and suffering. Truth is being brought to you each moment for that moment. Receive it and let it go. See where that leads you.  It is one thing to experience a feeling of guilt. It is a whole different matter to hold on to the thought that you are guilty. I suspect that if all you focus on is the now you will eventually experience unconditional love. However, if you deny any present feeling that doesn’t look like it is unconditional loving, you will hold on to pain and suffering. The universe presents you with a feeling of guilt. Do you hold on to that guilt as the truth of you? Do you deny that you are guilty? Admit you have the feeling and let it go without analysis. If it sticks around you could ask yourself if you are absolutely certain of its truth. Do you have a thought or a belief that seems to justify the emotion? Do you feel guilty because you think you have done something wrong? There is an enormous gulf between emotion and thought. The thought likely triggers the emotion. Is that thought actually true? Do your words and actions determine what happens to everyone else on the planet? Are you that powerful? Are others helpless in the face of your will? Perhaps you believe that your thoughts, words, and actions affect only a few and not all. In that case, who is running the switchboard? Who determines which people are affected by you and how? Are these other people helpless in the face of your power? So, you are feeling guilty but can you say for sure that you actually are guilty? Do you see the difference between a feeling in the now and truth?

Question every thought that enters your mind. You don’t ignore the feelings, but you don’t give them a special value either. Notice them. Be aware of the thoughts. It is all just what is there right now in this moment. It is not right or wrong, justifiable or unjustifiable. What is the gift behind it? If your feeling of guilt actually stimulates you to investigate the truth behind your emotion, what a service it has provided for you. If you were to deny your feelings, those investigations would not take place. They also would not happen if you wallow in the guilt, holding on to it in your certainty that you are at fault. The negative emotion is a signal to you that you believe something that isn’t true but is running your life. With physical pain it is much easier to see what is to be done. If you touch a hot stove, you quickly pull your hand away. With psychological pain the lines aren’t as clear. You may actually believe that the thought that is triggering the pain is a good thought; one you should hold onto. Old thoughts are useless in dealing with psychological pain. When you listen to them, your mind is too busy to let true wisdom come in. If the past truly helped you to decide what to do now, we should have ended war long ago. Culturally, we would take nothing personally. We would not be in competition with others, fighting over the scraps that we believe are never enough. The old ways have never worked. Your spiritual practice and beliefs have also failed you. They don’t help you when you most feel the need of being saved. Thoughts can only come from the past, but you live in the now. When the point comes where you are only accepting what comes to you in the quiet space of the now, not listening to old thoughts from the past, then you will act with the same certainty and decisiveness that you employ instantly when confronted with physical danger or pain. Awareness of what appears to you in the now is similar to what happens when you do the five-step process. It might support you to check that process out.

We call it the perfection of the now and a gift because you have asked Spirit to support you in awakening. Therefore, everything that comes into your now is there to support waking up. If you are listening to your old thoughts, you cannot open the gift. There needs to be a quiet that comes from letting go of the old thoughts and the accompanying feelings. In that calm space you can hear the guidance for the moment. Nothing is your responsibility. You are carrying a weight you don’t need to bear. Let go of past thoughts. Give up worries about the future. Everything is happening in perfection. All you need to do is to let it happen. Your feelings are there to let you know when you aren’t doing that. Pay attention and then let go and notice the next thing that comes. It is recommended that you reread this message several times. Your ego mind wants to accept the validity of your feelings and to hold on to them. It wants to convert them into ideas of yourself that you can believe in and use to justify your pain and suffering.

Enjoy it all…or don’t. It doesn’t matter.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

Why is it so hard for me to find my perfect relationship?

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It is so hard for you to find your perfect relationship because you are looking, as the song goes, in all the wrong places. You are searching outside of yourself to find that relationship with another person, but your perfect relationship can only be with yourself. Let’s start at the beginning. When you are looking for your ideal or perfect relationship you are seeking completion, to be made whole. Perhaps, on another level, if someone else loves you, you just might feel loveable. All of this stems from the belief that you do not deserve love, that you are not a good person, and that you are not loveable. The grounds for your desire for a perfect relationship are in your belief in your separation from God and in scarcity, that there is not enough for you. This sense of lack rules every aspect of your life and the whole world around you. You think that you are incomplete, separate from each other, from Divinity, and from Spirit – that there is no Oneness. However, nobody can make you feel whole because you are already whole. No matter what relationship you might attract to yourself, your beliefs will remain unchanged. Though the relationship may seem to begin in the blissful fantasy of having found eternal love, as time passes the realization painfully descends upon you that, no, you haven’t. Difficulties and challenges emerge in the relationship. You were expecting that other person to come in and fix everything for you. That’s far beyond their pay grade. Nobody can fix anyone else. Whatever lacks, deficiencies, or problems you feel you have are your creation and not theirs.

This relationship you are looking for is the one you have with yourself. Whatever your mind tells you that you wish to receive from another – notice that. This is where you believe in a lack in yourself. Fortunately, the truth is that you lack nothing and that you are fully lovable. You are a Divine Child of God, created in the image of Divinity. You could no more be lacking in anything than could God be deficient in any way. The idea is pure insanity, but it is that craziness that got you stuck in this illusion to begin with. Nobody forced you into this illusion. You are here by choice – whether you remember the choosing or not – along with your beliefs of lack, guilt, and not being deserving of love. Your job is to notice that. Be aware when limiting thoughts arise. Notice when you have the thought that another person can be your savior, can make you feel whole and complete. It would not be an easy job to change those thoughts you now have; most likely that task is impossible. It is sufficient for you to notice that you have them, without trying either to deny the thoughts or to run away from them. Accept those thoughts. Own them. “I am unlovable. I am guilt. I am jealousy. I am lack.” Don’t divert your awareness from these thoughts. Notice them. Be with them. If you find you are blaming or judging yourself for these thoughts, then pay attention to that. Your job is to simply be alert as to what flows through your mind, if possible without any attempt to change what is there, but certainly noticing such thoughts if they arise. It is not for you to try to change your outer world, nor your inner world. All you have to do is notice and keep noticing. Accept what is there.

Remember always that your partner, as well as all other people, is your mirror. You project on them what you believe to be true for yourself. Often you do not wish to face these self judgments, so it feels safer to project them on another while denying that it is about you. This is usually done unconsciously. That is why it is so important to look at every thought that enters your mind. If the thought comes that your partner can be so selfish, look at that. “I am selfishness” is your belief. Don’t fight it. Don’t try to change your behavior. Simply observe and accept. Do not let a single projection live on without this kind of examination. As long as you deny this part of yourself and see it only in others, it will continue to be a painful and hopeless problem in your life. Your perfect love is you. As you truly realize that through accepting the perfection of you as you are, you will feel yourself engulfed in love with everyone you meet and every situation you encounter. Perhaps you may find yourself sharing your living space and/or your life with another, but this won’t be because they are your perfect partner or because you feel a need for their presence to feel loved and completed. They will simply reflect or mirror the love you have for yourself.

Let’s look at this from the perspective of how the mass consciousness has formed and fed you. You are not a victim to this, but have likely been an unconscious participant. Now it is time for full awareness. One of the ways mass consciousness works is to tell you that you should have a partner and also, most likely, children. It may say that your relationship is to be forever, that separation or divorce is wrong. To change partners can bring a sense of failure and guilt. Having more than one relationship at a time is also usually frowned on by that societal teaching, leading to further guilt. There is no right or wrong in any of your actions, but, again, notice your thoughts around these things. There may be contradictory messages that come to you from the “spiritual” realms. This guidance from teachers or teachings might tell you that you should not have a partner, that you should be celibate. You should not even entertain sexual thoughts. This is just as confusing as the judgment that you should have a relationship. Some of you are dealing simultaneously with both teachings. Letting beliefs dictate your actions in the hope that your separation from God will end or that you will awaken is not going to happen. Whatever you resist will persist. Your job is not to try to control or change your behavior, but to just notice what is there. Otherwise you are putting things outside of yourself, therefore not accepting what is. Any fight or struggle to oppose what is will leave you in the perpetual state of conflict. The peace of God is not there.

To be One with God, be One with Yourself. Perhaps you notice no desire for a relationship or you may notice an intense desire for a partner or simply for sex. It doesn’t matter what the thoughts and desires tell you. Just notice and accept the perfection of what you are feeling or experiencing. In your perfect relationship with yourself there is no judgment or need to change. You accept yourself exactly as you are. Will this acceptance be followed by a difference in the kind of thoughts that enter your mind? It is likely, but not if your “acceptance” is rooted in the hope for such change. Notice such thoughts and stay with whatever is present for you. You are becoming your perfect relationship. Lovely!

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

What part do my old relationships play in my awakening process?

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More likely than not, all your relationships could be called “old” relationships. You have a story about each one of them, from those recently formed to the ones you have had since childhood. More accurately, particularly with those bonds that are long standing, you have a multitude of stories. Within these narratives you define who that other person is to you: what they are like, what they provide for you, what you like and dislike about them, and the particular role or roles that you play in the relationship. You might be aware that you don’t seem to be the same person in each relationship. Perhaps you like the role you play with some acquaintances better than the person you find yourself to be with others, and so are more likely to seek them out so you can like yourself better.

Why do I call all relationships “old” and what does all of this have to do with awakening? Your natural state is to be awakened or absolutely in the now, taking nothing seriously as you are fully engaged with what is in front of you. In the now there are no old relationships. There is no history. If you are with another or even thinking about them, and you have any expectations based on stories or histories, you can know absolutely that you are not in the now. That means that you are asleep. You are not seeing the truth as it is. Your mind is creating scenarios about the other person and about yourself that have nothing to do with the truth of this moment. That’s what the ego mind does; it likes to create little dramas. What might it look like to be in the now with a relationship? We have talked recently about observing the observer. You have an observer who is looking at this relationship, at the other person, and at yourself, whoever this self is. It simply observes. Meanwhile your ego mind is making judgments based on what is observed. The truth of you, however, is the observer – not the analyzing mind.

It is not a question of needing to let go of old relationships that keep you stuck. Stuckness will then be created with any new relationship you attract, no matter how “spiritual” it might appear to be. It is also not a question of becoming a recluse and having no relationships, so there is nobody to create stories with. The ego mind will always find a substitute; you will find some place to project. Rather it is a question of stepping back to the observer, focusing on the noticing rather than your analysis of the noticed. As you are able to do this, you will see that every story you have about other people is false. If you are purely observing another from your true self, rather than from your analyzing mind, you will simply see their Divinity, and be absolutely in love with it.

This is a process that We invite you to play with in each and every relationship. It doesn’t matter if it is a relative or family member, a childhood friend, a longstanding friendship, an enemy, an old or present lover, a co-worker, a clerk in a store, a stranger you pass on the street, a celebrity you have never met, or a character from a movie, show, or book. This observing can be applied in the same way to every scenario. If you are in the physical presence of another person, recognize when you are doing more than just noticing. Pay attention to where there are any thoughts, expectations, judgments, likes or dislikes related to what is being observed with the other person. Just notice it. Be aware if a part of you wants the other to change in any way. Discern if you want to receive something out of the meeting. Notice that. In this awareness, the job is not to change yourself; it is not for you to stop having these thoughts. Just notice. If you have thoughts about changing your behavior, acknowledge that. Who is noticing? Your mind will likely keep active; your only job is to try to remember to recognize what you are doing.

By doing this you will, one by one, destroy every old relationship. These associations are based on stories. With them you tie yourself and the other up into specific positions and roles. The absolute freedom of the now is denied. Your behaviors and your perceptions are limited by these beliefs. In addition, your happiness likely is dependent on the other acting as you wish them to, leaving you upset much more often than you might wish. In the now there are no old fossilized relationships. Each moment is brand new. It has no history and is connected to no future. For some reason that is beyond the understanding of the mind, another person is brought into your presence. What a curiosity that is! Why? What is this all about? The only way to find out is to watch and see what happens. Whatever it is has never happened before and will never happen again. It is absolutely fresh. It is now! It matters not if this is a person you have never encountered before or a partner you have spent decades with. Let everything else go and allow yourself to experience this now.

A Course in Miracles reminds us that there is no order of difficulty in miracles. To the ego mind it feels more difficult to deal with the older relationships in the now, to hold them in a different way – particularly those with family. How do you view your parents, or your children? Most of you no longer live with your parents. One or both of them may no longer be living. With or without their physical presence, you still have a relationship with each of them. All you need do is to pull up the memory of an old story. You find yourself having a physical reaction, perhaps your heart beats faster or you are flooded with emotion, and all this with no physical presence. A parent may have done something that felt hurtful to you when you were seven years old. Now you are fifty and you pull the story up and feel hurt all over again. This certainly is not your first bout with this memory and will likely not be the last. Can you join me in appreciating the humor in the situation? Any outside witness could testify that your parent is not at the present moment doing anything to you. It’s just you doing it to you, while projecting blame on your possibly senile or dead mother. This is not living in the now. In the now you have no relationship with anybody who is not in your physical presence. But, since you already have the story pulled up, why not take a step back and watch it from your observer self. Look at it. Again, if there is any judgment or emotional response, that is not the watcher. Notice that. Who is noticing that? Keep stepping back to the watcher who sees the story, sees the child and the parent, and sees the adult replaying the whole scenario. The observer doesn’t take any of it seriously. This watcher doesn’t believe it is real or unreal. It doesn’t blame or take pity. It just notices.

For those of you who have such stories with your own children, let’s look at this from the viewpoint of your “home movies”. As they are growing up, your mind perceives all their vulnerable, fragile places. You feel a need to help them survive in the world with these deficiencies. Perhaps they are now adults, living on their own. These old stories keep being projected in your mind and you worry about them. Based on a story that was never true, but just a projection, you carry with you a constant pain. Then, just to add even more humor to the situation, your children probably react negatively toward this interference in their lives. They don’t want your story running their life. They may hide much of their life from you. The story keeps you from a now relationship with them, with another adult. As with the stories with your parents, notice all of this from the observer. A few laughs can usually be helpful in this process. Be aware of the fear, judgment, and guilt. Step back and watch from your observer self. You may be experiencing your noticer if you find yourself having feelings of absolute love for your family members. This love doesn’t worry about them and has no concern over whether you have done enough or done the wrong things. All that is experienced is a loving acceptance of what is.

This applies to every relationship. What stories are you still holding about any romantic relationship that broke off? Look at any specific groups of people. What stories do you hold about the other gender, about certain generations, about specific educational or intellectual levels, about financial status, about race or nationality, about religion or the lack thereof? The stories are endless that the mind creates. Each one locks you into a place where you are not free in the moment to truly be with others, whether in your thoughts or in their physical presence.

Having read all of this, you may still feel helpless in your ability to get to your observer self. How do you stop looking from the ego mind? You start by paying attention. If you simply stand still and accept all your mind stories, you will remain in the same cycle. Begin with a willingness to observe from your watcher self. It might sound trite, but where there is a will, there is a way.

There is a conundrum here. We are talking about a difference between Oneness and duality. You cannot hold the two simultaneously. The ego mind can only operate from duality. The truth of you can see only Oneness. How do you leap this chasm from duality to Oneness? The answer is that you can’t. The only thing you can do is to be aware when the ego mind is operating. You can notice that you are creating and operating from a story. Who is doing the noticing? That’s a good question to keep asking. You have no ability to control and change the mind that is creating stories, judging, and being overcome with emotions. Rather than futilely trying to become the noticer, you might ask yourself what qualities the noticer wouldn’t have. As you notice your mind or emotions acting in certain ways, ask if those are traits of your noticer. Ask if what you perceive is actually true. If you keep looking at these activities and are brutally honest with yourself the answer will eventually be no, these are not qualities of the observer. It is not possible for the noticer to change the noticed, nor would the noticer have any desire to do so. All that you can do is to slowly increase the frequency with which you are able to notice. At some point there may be a synaptic leap from duality to Oneness. You can’t make it happen any more than you can make a seed grow into a plant. You can nurture it through cultivation, but you can’t force it. At some point you may suddenly be fully aware of the absolute insanity and humor of the ego mind and stop using it.

Meanwhile, you have one simple job. Notice. You don’t have to change yourself, anybody around you, or the world. Just notice. There is no better place to focus this awareness than with your relationships, so that they can all become new relationships. Each meeting with another becomes like good improv theater, flowing with what presents itself, enjoying the spontaneity of the interchange, and allowing your guidance to carry you. There is no question of where it’s going, only an enjoyment of where it is.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

Do I create my reality or does Spirit?

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It seems that this month’s question is one of those chicken or egg quandaries. Let’s begin in this manner. When you say “I”, that means the question is emanating from your ego. The ego “I” is the only one you can relate to because there is no true “I”. Only your ego can be asking this question. Then we have the dilemma of deciding what the hell is meant by “reality”. If reality is defined as how you perceive the world, then of course you are the creator. Everything you see in the illusion is your projection, is your creation. Your body, the people around you, the physical world, the weather, the drama, the governments, sports…..it’s all your creation in terms of what you perceive. The important question now is do we want to label your perceptions as reality. I have told you many times, including earlier in this paragraph, that all this is an illusion. Yes, your ego self creates these illusions. I can hear the wheels spinning inside your mind and you’re thinking “Sanhia, you are really not answering this question for me in a satisfactory way.” “Do my thoughts affect this “reality” I’m in, or is Spirit running everything?”

That’s a very good question, but I want to return to what I have already stated. If you are speaking in terms of this illusion being “reality”, you are absolutely in charge because you choose your reaction to each moment. You choose how you perceive; you choose to judge; you choose your emotional response. If you are asking if you have the power to absolutely control this illusion, to make it exactly what you want it to be, the answer is yes, to some degree, but no, not really. If you have a child whom you perceive as lazy, never helping around the house, leaving messes all about, and so on, do you have the power to change this behavior in your “reality”. Those of you who have been in these shoes are laughing and thinking, “Not a chance”. What you do have the power to affect is in how you choose to react. Here the only limits are the belief structures you restrict yourself with. You might tell yourself that any rational person would react in a negative way to this behavior and try to change it. If you are cut off in traffic by another driver, the “natural” response is to honk your horn and display your middle finger. Otherwise, they will never learn proper driving etiquette. I ask again, how successful do you think your expressions of anger are in changing the other driver’s habits? So, if “reality” is what is happening in the outer world, you probably have little power to affect change. You do have the power to stop thinking you should be changing this “reality”, you can give up the thought that it should be different. It is insanity to believe that if you honk your horn loudly enough and thrust your finger far enough out your window, suddenly the highway will be a peaceful place filled with courteous drivers. Maybe the thousandth time of asking your child to clean up after themselves will magically work. Maybe this is why the illusion is referred to as a dream. You have the power to accept how it is. You have the power not to be upset by what is.

The question now comes back that if you are actually not creating this “reality”, who is? Is it just random? Does Spirit create everything that seems to be happening? My answer is “absolutely”. Then you ask me if Spirit has a screw loose? Why would Spirit create this mess? You cannot even begin to grasp the answer to this question without accepting that nothing going on in the world matters at all. I am not saying this metaphorically; this is as close as we can get to expressing the truth in words. Nothing in this world has any value or importance. The only purpose for anything in this dreamscape is in assisting you in waking up. You have no other function or purpose other than awakening. This is not to say that Spirit won’t use you in the master plan of awakening everyone, but while you are asleep you can have no awareness of how Spirit might be using you. When awakened, you are aware that your only function is to do as Spirit asks. Again, this function is not one of saving the world; the universe is going to disappear. It is only in supporting others in awakening and you will not have the responsibility of figuring out how to do that. Spirit will guide your every moment. Everything that happens is guided by Spirit. Everything is planned. Not only is everything planned, but Spirit knows exactly how you are going to respond. Therefore, it is impossible for you to make the wrong choice. Self judgment and guilt are absolute wastes of time. Spirit/God can hardly hold you responsible for doing as you are expected to do. Spirit creates the situation and you respond. If you are in resistance to what is presented and think it should be in some other way, the lessons continue to be presented until you realize that all is as it should be. Maybe that happens in this body and maybe in another. None of that matters because none of this, including time, is real. Eventually within the dream you will have that moment when you realize you have been rearranging the deck furniture on the Titanic, trying to empty the ocean with a spoon. You will laugh at your own insanity, let go, and accept the glorious perfection of everything you are and have been experiencing.

You, and here I am speaking to your ego self, fortunately cannot control this illusion that you have been projecting outside of yourself, this dream world. If you could, you would choose from your ego and remain forever asleep. But that’s not in the cards; you won’t be able to accomplish that. On a good day you may fool yourself into believing that you do have that power and want it to continue indefinitely. Ultimately, the weather will change. That’s the nature of duality, of this illusion. Every up is followed by a down, and vice versa. They may not seem to be in balance but neither of them can fully disappear. In Spirit, in Divinity, everything is perfect. There is nothing you would consider changing. The stubbing of your toe, the kiss of the sun, the sting of a bee, and the laugh of a child are all part of the perfection of the now.

I want to repeat that as you are dealing with your life each day, you cannot do it in a wrong way. You are just following the plan. The end of the plan is the awakening and the awareness that it has always been a dream. There is no way you can make that happen today, nor is there a way to stop it from happening now. It’s simply not in your control. The plan is all there. The perfection of it is beyond ego comprehension. The enormity of the seemingly infinite interconnections of Spirit’s plan should be humbling to your ego thought system. If you are reading this message, if you are taking it in, if you have been choosing to listen to Spirit and to let go of your ego mind, all of this has been planned. None of it happens by accident. If you seem to be either ahead of or behind another in your awakening process, take no credit and leave no blame. All is going according to plan (not to speak of the fact that your placement of your “growth” in relationship to others is likely to be faulty). Your reaction to what you are reading here is also planned. You cannot make a mistake.

Those of you who feel all alone, who think nobody understands you, feel that God has abandoned you, or believe that you can’t hear Spirit – know that Spirit is with you at every moment. Your consciousness of this has nothing to do with it. Spirit is always whispering in your ear, whether you are listening or not. There is never a time when you are alone. You are truly One with Spirit and with each other. Absolutely One. Ego believes in your separateness. Again that is why there is a call for gratitude for your inability to be able to control the dreamscape “reality”. The ego can only use its power to maintain the sense of separation. Otherwise your ego disappears. For the ego to make such a choice is not in the cards. Ego dies from a lack of attention.

In truth, this is not a chicken or egg question. There is only one answer and that is that Spirit creates the “reality” of your dream world. Spirit controls every aspect. Spirit does this through a loving, connected “spirit” of Oneness, leading you step-by-step to stop listening to your ego and to hold Spirit’s hand and experience the Love and Oneness. Your ego wants you to believe that you can and should take control and make the world the way you want it to be. It’s never going to happen. When you experience being One with Spirit, you will find that you do “create” your own reality, but this is a co-creation with Spirit; Spirit speaks and you act. There is an absolute alignment. You would never want it any differently. There is nothing you would rather do.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit