Why does seeing from the Observer´s eyes seem so damned impossible?

This conversation comes from a recent Spiritual Awareness Group.

Participant: How can I choose to see things from the observer’s mind?

It seems that you can choose either ego or Spirit. In truth, there is no choosing. It is already written. It is just what happens. The mind may see it as choosing, but there is just the appearance of choosing happening, just as there might be the appearance of a sunrise happening. The viewer would just notice that there is an apparent choosing. The choice does not affect the movie. It is a scripted part of the movie. Ego mind wants to hold on to the thought that it is choosing. Ego wants to claim, for instance, that “I” am angry. In reality, there is no one to “own” that anger. There is only the appearance of anger being present. There is no judgment in this noticing. Anger is not good or bad; it is simply present. The observer feels no anger. It is only aware of the presence of anger in the movie.

Participant: I seem to be stuck here.

There seems to be the appearance of stuckness here. The observer is not stuck, but only noticing the presence of stuckness.

Participant: I am worried that my observer might be laughing at me.

The observer has no reaction other than absolute love for whatever is there. The part that you think of as me, who feels separate from the One, who feels it can choose – and is therefore not doing a good job – is thinking “Why did it choose this?” The observer simply notices that there seems to be a belief in choosing; there seem to be upsetness; there seems to be stuckness.

Participant: I can be okay with that. I don’t want to just jump from this place right now because something is needing to be done here. I don’t want to go back to trying to be nice. That’s not so fun.

If you could simply choose to jump from your ego and only see from the Divine Observer, you would have done that long ago. You can have the intention to do that, but you can’t make it happen because you don’t have choice. If you had choice, that would place you separate from the Divine. But you can’t be separate, so what is happening can only be perfect, a part of the script that is already written. At some point it may be that in the noticing of the now the ego is just seen rather than experienced as self. That cannot be chosen because only the ego mind can pretend to choose. The noticing simply happens. There no longer is anyone there, there is just the noticing. But you can’t choose that.

Participant: Not just now.

Not at any time. It will happen when it happens.

Participant: Something feels very powerful in this.

If you have the thought that there is stuckness, and you hang on to that thought, you will likely decide there is some fault in you that maintains the feeling of stuckness. When you are aware of that, let the sense of stuckness be there as long as it is going to be there. It is perfect. There is nothing to fix. There is no effort you could make to cause the stuckness to go away.

Participant: I could sing a song. Then I’m not focused on the stuckness.

Yes and then what is apparent is the singing of the song. Will the feeling of stuckness return? Probably.

Participant: This is very good. I like it very much.

Choice is the domain of the ego mind. As you let go of control and simply notice what is present, you are opening to the possibility of seeing through Divine eyes. If you do that to try to enable Divine seeing, you are back in the ego trap of choosing. So, you just do it when you notice and stop trying to choose, instead noticing what is present. It’s a razor’s edge you are walking. I mean let’s get serious. Is the ego really going to choose to give up its control by truly allowing you to choose Spirit? That would be suicide. The ego is a survivor and a very clever one. Choice is not a choice; it is a subterfuge. Every choice affirms the reality of the ego. Its disappearance requires not choosing. The best you can hope to do is to notice what is going on without following any of the threads.

Participant: But I do know that this is all an ego game. I know that it will probably eventually go over to something else, but I guess that right now I need to be in it.

This is such a humorous thing – perhaps more humorous from this perspective than from yours – but whatever you decide you want to do; you can’t possibly do. All that is left is to give up trying. But you can’t try to give up trying. Finally, you get so exhausted from trying and failing that you just give up trying.

Participant: But sometimes I’m able to walk or sit quietly or sing and my mind calms down.

Yes, but what you have then is a calmer ego driven person, but still not an awake person. Not that this is a bad thing. Being calm might be more enjoyable, but the balancing dualistic energy will eventually surface. Watching from the viewer is not about being calm or distressed.  It is noticing what is present without identifying that as self. There is no self. There are no techniques for taking you to that place. If anything, it may be necessary to let go of all techniques, but that can become its own technique.

Participant: Just now, this is what I needed.

The perfect thing is always here. If you try to understand why it is perfect, you are back in the ego mind. You will never understand.

Participant: Then I could be grateful that this is what it is…and not a heart attack.

That would be perfect too (much laughing). It would be what is there. If you have the thought that awakening means feeling fine all of the time, which you think you might be able to do if you let yourself just find and practice the right things consistently, you may, as I said, find yourself as a mostly satisfied sleeping person. You will, however, still believe yourself to be your “self“, separate from the One. What is transpiring for an individual or for the world in general has no identification for the Divine Viewer. Happiness or sadness may be present, but it makes no difference. There is nobody there experiencing this. There is something magnetic for the searcher in having a practice, but eventually the practice doesn’t deliver. So, you try another and then another until perhaps you crumble into hopelessness.

Participant: I am tired of techniques. I just want to be.

Notice that that is all you can ever do. Just to be. You cannot stop being. You cannot make yourself be. You are. Any technique is simply a diversion from noticing the isness of everything. So, we are back to this razor’s edge of having no techniques without that becoming a technique. Everything is perfect as it is. Nothing to change and nobody there to make a change. There is just what is, Divinely inspired. You can’t change anything, but you might be aware of the desire for change. You can’t make yourself accept what is here, but you might notice that the desire to do so is present.

Participant: I have the thought that coming to this group is a holy thing to do, that it will support my spiritual goals. This morning I didn’t feel very holy so I thought I shouldn’t come.

Sorry, but there is nothing holy here. This is like Walpurgis night in Sweden (a holiday celebrated on the last day of April where people make fires and burn whatever has accumulated over the dark period of the year). You come here to release things, not to get anything. There is nothing to get. You already have it. Your job is not to be or feel holy, but to take out and burn the trash. So please! Bring us your garbage. Of course, you don’t need to come here to throw out the trash. You can do that at home. There is nothing holy about this or any other place, or it could be said that every place is holy. There is only holiness. That is all there is. You are also not here because you chose to be here.

Participant: It is not my choice to be here? You mean in this body?

Well, yes that too, but to be here in this room now. That is just a belief of the ego mind. It might be more accurate to say that you are here because the universe has chosen for you to be here. It might be most accurate to say that you are here because you are here. You can play the game of believing that you are choosing things, but did you choose to become aware of this group? Even when you might think that you decided to be here today, it was the universe that provided you with a ride. The universe could have caused the car not to start or there might have been an accident on route. You could have been too sick to get out of bed or you could have listened to the voice that said you weren’t holy enough to be here today. The universe wanted you here. It is a fool’s task for you to wonder why you were wanted here. It is just yours to be here and notice what is here before you. On the other hand, you may notice that there is nurturance here for this seemingly separated being. That nurturance is also here for the group member who did not appear today. The universe wanted him elsewhere, even though he might be beating himself up for believing that he created not being present. There is nothing wrong or right about attending or not attending. There just is what is.

Participant: Yes, I do think it is good to be here. Good to have support in seeing things from another side.

If you allow yourself to notice when you think you are choosing or when you find yourself feeling negative emotions that you wish were not taking place, if you decide to then reverse the process – good luck with that. You cannot choose that or anything else. At the same time, within the imaginary realms of past and future, which don’t exist, yet feel so real, the choosing part of you that believes you have a whole story of connected events that led you to being where you are now, there is just the isness of this moment. There is no past or future; there is just the isness, the being of what is here in this moment from the vertical perspective. There is just what is being observed. Nothing else. It certainly cannot slow down this illusory process of becoming the Observer to be more aware of when you think you are the chooser, but if you are doing it to try to get “there”, there is nowhere to get, and you are spinning your imaginary wheels. But that doesn’t mean not to do it, if doing it is what is here right now. What is being noticed is that there is resistance to what is here now. What is going on right now is that “I” think that I am this body, and “I” is being used to identify that body. Can that identification be changed right now? No, that is just what appears to be happening. All that is really happening is the noticing that this appears to be going on. Thinking you are the body does not make you the body. Thinking that you are not the body does not stop you from believing you are. Thinking doesn’t do anything. There is no you to be or not be the body. There is just the seeing, just the being.

Participant: That’s good. Good enough.

Or bad enough (laughs all around). This noticing that there is no chooser, there is only the Divine watching can only come upon one who believes in their separated self. There is no chooser so it cannot be chosen. This Divine Watcher has no idea what is coming next. Everything is being viewed for the first time. How could that not be thrilling? This creation is only Love. Everything is seen through these eyes of Love. This does not mean that pain won’t seem to be present, but it will not be owned or possessed by the Viewer who can possess nothing, Who is not there but only Is. Like everything else in the illusion, pain will appear and then disappear. Pain is not good or bad; it is simply what is on the screen now. Ego mind wants to hang on to the exhilaration of the positive experience, but that can only be accompanied by the pain of the fall. The Viewer owns neither. Ego mind is destined to a seeming eternity of up and down. It wants to hold on to the up and it fails, adding insult to injury. Meanwhile there is just Life, Oneness, Divinity. There is no up and down, no judgment, no separation, no guilt, no suffering. The ego mind really believes that it is responsible, that it is in control and can handle things. But it absolutely is not and cannot be. It has no idea that everything filling that mind comes from someplace other than Divinity.

Participant: But isn’t it the human state to seek happiness and avoid pain?

The deeper truth is that the human desire is to go home, and the belief is that something must be done to get there. For some the belief is that seeking happiness will bring them home. For others, the belief may be that pain and deprivation will lead them home. Spirit says that you are home; you never left. The ego mind can never see this, but the Observer’s eye does. Sooner or later the ego mind gets tired of trying.

Participant: I’m tired already.

Wonderful! (laughter) How successful have you been so far in manifesting what you wish to create in your life? That must be exhausting! You can stop trying. Your true nature is Oneness. You are Oneness playing the game of twoness. Is the game always fun? Not from the ego mind, not from the perception of twoness. From Oneness, from the Observer it is neither fun nor not fun; it simply is and all that simply is is Divine, is Love. But in absolute Oneness there is no experience. There is no movie. There is no sunset. There is no storm. There is no pain. There is no sweetness. There is no orgasm. So, Oneness can have the experience of these sensations through this movie. Every moment of the movie is glorious to the Observer.

Participant: How can the Observer experience yet not be a part of what is happening?

The Observer watches without projection. This Watcher does not pretend that It is the person being observed. There is no story, no history. Nothing is held on to. There is no future. There is just the Divine moment. Pain, for example to the ego mind, is connected with past ideas of blame and guilt, and with fears of the future. For the Observer, pain is just a particular sensation in the Divine now. Nothing lasts. Everything changes. Nothing is held on to. Everything is noticed. The Observer notices the pain is present but is not identified with it. Again, these are just words and cannot approximate the actual experience of not seeing through the ego’s eyes. You call this twoness “me”, but where is this “me”? Who is “me”? The twoness is “me-ing” while the Oneness is “be-ing”. “Me-ing” always has questions. “Be-ing” knows, but not in words.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

I am hearing differing things from you. What is reality?

You know it is both difficult and easy to speak out of both sides of my mouth. It is difficult because I have neither a mouth nor sides, but it is easy because I just place the words in Michael’s mouth, and he has agreed to share them without question. Any words that I use do not tell the truth so it can be helpful to state things in differing and even contrasting ways to approximate truth, to triangulate what actually is. I have been talking differently about reality in some of the more recent messages than I did in messages back several years ago. If you want to check that out for yourself click here and then click on reality for a list all the messages where the term is mentioned. Anyway, this is a good question, so let’s look more deeply into it.

Recently We have talked about reality as being what is in the now. For example, if it is raining now, that is the reality. We talk in terms of simple acceptance of what is in the now. If you have resistance to reality, if you want to change it – good luck with that. But it’s not just the weather, it’s everything. What is is. It cannot be changed. You might want to change it in the future, even the near future. That’s another matter we will deal with shortly, but reality is what is here right this moment. When one ignores it or doesn’t accept it, is upset and in opposition to it, or wants to change it there will be frustration, pain, suffering, and a sense of failure because the now cannot be altered. The reality cannot be changed. When there is resistance to the now, it makes it nearly impossible to hear your inner guidance, Spirit, or your Divine Self, because the ego mind is just too loud. This is the reality we have been referring to. It has been suggested that the more one is willing to notice what is present right now – without judging it or wishing to change it – the more one accepts the feelings triggered in this now, the more one learns to hear that quiet inner voice. We have encouraged you to do that, to take what is in the now as the perfect thing, to receive what Spirit is presenting to you to help you realize your Divine nature.

Let’s start moving out to a wider sense of reality. One step out is to say that your only function for being, for having this experience in the physical with a body is to wake up to the truth of your Divine Nature. Nothing else matters. That’s a big step from accepting the now. Nothing else matters but being awake. In this process of awakening there are different levels. The ground level is having the desire, the intention to awaken. That can only come from the ego mind. As you have likely noticed by now, the ego mind is very clever and anything but self destructive. The urge to awaken is most unlikely to make an appearance when things are going as one wishes they would. The ego only grudgingly allows a peek at this when you have become quite frustrated with the lack of delivery on ego promises. But a full awakening would mark the death of the ego. So, what proceeds to manifest in this world of duality is opposites. On one side the intention to awaken is a prerequisite. On the other hand, as long as you hold on to the intention to awaken, you cannot notice you already are awake. Awakeness is in the now; goals put your mind into the non-existent future. How do you make the shift from wanting to awaken to realizing awakeness?  At some point the synapse is crossed, you realize you are and always have been awake. You’ve just been pretending to be asleep. We could call the ego mind that pretender. However, you can have the idea that you really are awake, but that is still the ego mind running things, not a true experience. So, what happens somewhere along the line (remembering that time doesn’t really exist), through what I like to call “the grace of God”, after countless letting goes of the ego mind, is it happens. This occurrence is after intention has been released.  You know in that instant that none of this really matters, that the physical is just an illusion. If that is followed by the thought that you are awake now, say hello again to your ego mind. It doesn’t matter. It will likely happen. The truth is in your divinity. It cannot be hidden forever. More often you will find yourself noticing the now with no attachment, with no agenda, with no resistance, with welcomeness and gratitude.

As we are talking about this, because all we can do is use words and point, we could describe this as the first step of awakeness. None of this really matters. You still notice the world around you, the phenomenal world.  You are still aware of the body, the vehicle you use for this exploration and interaction with this physical illusion. There is another level of reality. It could be stated thusly, “Reality is that which never changes.” Ego mind will get hold of this and state that the now constantly changes; nothing stays the same. It will remind you that I have said, “As you are noticing the emotions, accept them, feel them, let them move about, let them be free, welcome them, and let them lead you. They will constantly change.” Ego may add that if change equates to not real, how could I say that what is in the now, including feelings are real? Now I seem to be saying the now isn’t real? And what about everything in the phenomenal world? The weather changes, plants and animals grow and then die, your physical body has and will go through enormous change from conception through birth, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, maturity, old age and death. So now am I saying that everything that is a part of the now is not real. You are understanding me completely. Anything that does or can change is not real. This becomes quite a challenge for the mind. Is there anything in the universe that does not change? If you think the earth or the sun will always be here, check out what the science says. Even if the Bible is taken literally, the universe has both beginning and end. Absolutely nothing of the physical realm is real because everything changes. What about this entity that I have referred to as “you” or you refer to as “I”, this awareness that experiences the changes in the phenomenal universe? Is it real? Whew!

The questions seem to be getting harder. Are you real? Let’s toss another one out there for you. If nothing in the physical world is real and you are the observer of these illusions – if there is nothing to observe, is there still an observer? If the world is not real, are you real? If there is nothing to observe, can you observe nothing? The closest that we can come with words in defining that which never changes might be to call it Divinity, or maybe God if you can suffer that term, or perhaps the Oneness. If you are a creation of that Whatever, made in Its own image, that too sounds like a change. Divinity simply is…always. If out of this never changing, timeless, infinite Isness you are created, then, by definition, you aren’t real either. Using the metaphor of the ocean, which is undifferentiated water; it is all ocean. A wave can emerge on its surface, but has no identity separate from the ocean. Without the ocean the wave does not exist. It may seem to have its own identity and direction, but eventually it crashes on a beach and returns to the oneness, having no further identity as a wave. Even the water that is considered to be part of the wave does not move with it; there is just this motion on the surface. Without the ocean there is no wave.

So, the ultimate reality is undifferentiated Divinity. There is no you. This reality is beyond anything the mind can comprehend. It is beyond anything the senses can be aware of. For the ego mind, such a picture triggers absolute terror. It represents not only the dissolution of the ego mind, but the dissolution of any aspect of a separated self, absolute non-existence. Oneness. No separation. Such ideas are impossible to comprehend or sense. So, after you reach the step of awareness that you are a Divine Entity, created by God in Its own image and that there is no reality in the physical realm, your awakening is not over. It has just begun. As long as there is an observer watching the illusion of physicality there remains a separation from the Oneness. The ultimate awakening, for which We have used the term ascension, is where there is no longer a sense of you observing the physical illusion. Now ascension implies a rising up, but there is no direction involved; there is nothing. There is no longer a separate observer. There is only the ocean of Oneness.

Even though there is no forward or backward, We will appear to take a step back into looking at this now. For some of you there is a great challenge in doing things like accepting the “perfection of the now.”  I will encourage you to let go of perfection as a term. Instead, keeping in mind this larger vision of reality, flow with whatever is – reminding yourself that it doesn’t matter. Perfect or imperfect, it makes no difference. Either way it’s not real. It doesn’t matter. If you are only here to realize you are already awake, whatever is happening is helping you to do that. If you are pretending to be asleep, no matter what happens you will experience pain and suffering. Whether you are trying to find perfection or imperfection you are going to suffer. In duality there cannot be one without the other. This is true of every thought you might have. It has an opposite. There is no reality in trying to explain or understand. There is only more confusion. That is why we encourage you – as you are in the process of realizing that you already are awake – to let the mind go. It’s not about learning, it’s about unlearning everything you think you know. Whatever you think, you are wrong. If you are pretending to be separate from what you observe, you are going to suffer. Beyond that, this whole unreal movie you are pretending to be a part of is already scripted. You have no choice in changing it. Your only choice is whether or not you accept it as real. You are powerless as an observer. The outcome is already known. What is occurring in the minutia of the moment doesn’t matter. We can guess that in the scope of the illusion of time as the script runs, you stop playing in the game of time. You start playing with awareness in the game of Divinity, of infinity, in the game of God. You realize that you are One with what you observe; that there is no separation. You know that nothing matters. Even if you are still playing in the game, using the vehicle you have to interact with the now, you know that it doesn’t matter. You just enjoy the ride. Or don’t enjoy the ride. Or enjoy not enjoying the ride. It doesn’t matter.

If you have the thought in the moment – and maybe it has been a long-time prayer or mantra, maybe, God forbid, you learned it from Me – “Spirit help me accept the perfection of the now” you may be enabling the ego mind to try to find something good about what is happening. This triggers the good/bad duality. In that interplay the mind usually wants to go for the positive. It doesn’t ask Spirit for help in accepting the imperfection of the now. So, the negative is denied and pushed away. Try letting go of perfection and accepting what is as what is. That is reality. Eventually it is what isn’t. That, too, is reality. You begin by accepting the reality of what is. but eventually realize there is no isness. Nothing including the observer is real. But how can you realize that if you think what is happening in your movie is real? As long as that is the case, then the separate you is real too. If you are thoroughly confused at this point, then my work is done.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

Does peace of mind lead to stagnation?

This question comes from a reader who writes, “I have a nagging question about peace of mind. Doesn’t that lead to stagnation? When people stop struggling it leads to lethargy and aimlessness. The heart of my question is ‘Is struggle a universal truth?’ I have tried to give everything to the spirit but am limited in being aware of the true potential of doing that.”

Okay. I think that many readers may share your confusion. I will start by stating that what you are encountering each and every moment in the now simply is. It cannot be changed. It is; it’s here now. There is no rewind to allow you to go back and to make it different. It is what it is now and could not be anything else. This is no small matter. We could say that this is everything. Your whole question centers around changing what is. There is nothing that you can change. The mind responds, “Oh maybe not the now but I can change the future. I can build a tomorrow that is better than the now.” My next question is to ask what is wrong with the now? You might construct a laundry list of what is wrong with things as they are. How do you know each of these items is wrong? Does it feel bad? Is it uncomfortable or painful? Are things not the way you want them to be? In your mind there is a past. Is any part of what you are unhappily experiencing now a part of the future you chose for yourself then? Have things turned out exactly as you planned? Why not? These are important questions to consider. There are many parameters to this. Maybe you have asked for something different than what is but find your request seemed to have little impact. So, what do you do? How many times do you try to run into that wall until you accept there is no doorway there? Perhaps you lack the power to change how things are.

Secondly, what makes you think that you know how things should be? Are you certain? Each one of you can recall things in what appears to be your past which were not pleasant, perhaps painful, and which you certainly would not have wished to have happened. But these events changed your experience of yourself and life in such a way that you can now have gratitude for their occurrence. Had it been up to you, you would not have chosen those happenings. Yet they helped you move through barriers that had previously felt to be impenetrable. Perhaps you are begging to and wondering if you can go forward and grow without having pain. The answer seems to be “apparently not”; at least you have not demonstrated that ability up to this point. The suffering is not brought about by what occurs, but by your resistance to it – by your struggle. So, we come back to this now. It’s the only place you are ever going to be. If you reject your now but claim instead you will create a better future, you will end up in a perpetually unacceptable now trying to create a better future. There is no future. There is just now. The only way that your now becomes acceptable is to accept it as it is. Otherwise, you will continue as you have, day after day, year after year, incarnation after incarnation, searching for a better now, looking everywhere but within and to this moment. There cannot be stagnation in the now because everything is in constant movement. Stagnation comes from the mind trying to control what cannot be corralled. So, stop trying to fight it, stop trying to change it, stop feeling the victim. Accept the present fully as it is.

Lethargy and aimlessness are consequences of repeated failures to create the world you think you want. Why even try anymore, you might think? Such a result is not a bad thing. As we have spoken about above, this can lead you to finally accept what is and find a peace that has always evaded you. It seems – and this is the fear you expressed in your question – that the choice is between struggle as a universal truth or aimlessness and lethargy. Are you sure those are the only choices?  You said that you have tried to give it to Spirit but are limited in knowing the true potential of doing that. If when leaving things to Spirit you have an idea of how you want your situation handled, you haven’t left it Spirit. If you have a picture of the outcome, if you are directing Spirit in any way, you are not leaving it to Spirit. You are still struggling, still trying to change the now. Leaving it to Spirit begins with accepting what is here now without a thought of changing things. This isn’t such a bad idea because it is here. There is nothing to be done about it. The horse is already out of the barn. There is nothing for you to do. Giving it to Spirit requires only that you are aware of what you are giving, that you surrender any part of the handling of the situation. Give the present your full attention, letting go of all thoughts – which are of the mind, not of Spirit. Your mind has a goal and wants to reach the top of the mountain. There is no top; there is just climbing. There is just goal after goal after goal. There might be a brief respite in realizing a goal, but it is soon replaced by a new target. No achievement is enough. The ego is in full control. Giving it to Spirit is the end of goals. Even giving it to Spirit cannot be a goal, only a pointer, only a reminder to notice when you are not doing that. Home is not a goal. It is where you are now. Stop! Pay attention. Let go. See what is here. These goals and this struggle are all based on the belief that nothing is enough, that you are not good enough, smart enough, loveable enough, successful enough, evolved enough, deserving enough to be welcomed into the loving arms of the Divine. So on and on you struggle vainly, like Sisyphus, to reach what cannot be reached. None of those thoughts/fears are true. Again, just stop it. Let that mind go. Pay no attention. See what Spirit is bringing you now.

When you give it to Spirit you let go of all thought of control, all addiction to fomenting change, all lack of trust in the perfection of what is. You may ask, “How can I do that Sanhia?”  It is my habit to do all of those things; how can I stop? You become aware of that. Notice when your mind wants to take over. Don’t act on it. Ignore what your mind is saying and bring yourself back to noticing the present. Your mind will likely go absolutely nuts with this. You will feel that your health, your body, your finances, your whole world will fall apart if you don’t exercise control. Notice all of that and give it to Spirit. Don’t look to the future; don’t consider the past; your only focus is on what is here right now. What you are likely to be absolutely aware of in your now are extremely uncomfortable emotions. Wonderful! All of your actions in your past have been to avoid facing these feelings. Now, that is impossible. Welcome to your NOW. Keep releasing your thoughts about these feelings. Avoid labelling them. Feel them. Notice where they occur in your body. Fully experience the sensations. Release the desire to chase them away, to change them, to rationalize their existence, or to understand them. Just let them be. Set them free to express however they might wish to do. Your job is to watch, feel, and follow. Notice where you hold a definition of yourself as depressed, angry, jealous or whatever.

Replace those thoughts with the simple awareness that depression, anger, jealousy, or whatever seem to be present. Then let that go and return to the feeling that is being expressed in your body. Now it is no longer depression but a feeling in your heart chakra that perhaps feels heavy and constrictive. The thought is not from the now, but the feeling is very much in your present. So, stay with the bodily sensations, following rather than leading. If you notice yourself trying to lead or alter the feelings, just be aware of that and return focus to the body. Leaving it to Spirit is accepting whatever is here now. What is here now are these bodily sensations. Perfect. Receive and follow. This is giving it to Spirit. These feelings won’t be here forever. Everything moves constantly in the now. Enjoy them while you can. Let them move. Let them amplify or diminish. Let them morph into something else. What is key here is the word “let”. This is Spirit’s gift to you. If you are struggling, you are resisting Spirit, not trusting the Divine. Spirit is always bringing you what you most need. Your only job is to open your heart in gratitude instead of resisting and thinking you know better. This is what giving it to Spirit is. Giving it to Spirit is realizing that you are actually giving nothing; Spirit has always had it. You have no need to create heaven on earth. You don’t have a clue as to what that actually would be nor how to bring it about.

That heaven is presented in every moment by Spirit. If you are wondering how this pain you are experiencing could be called heaven on earth, please reread the July message. When you experience discomfort, whether it be mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual, you do the counter-intuitive thing. Your mind wants it to stop, but instead you dive into it, immersing yourself in the pain. You do the opposite of what the ego wants. Instead of applying the brakes, you accelerate. You drive/dive right into what you want to have go away. If things terrify you, jump into your fear. Where is it in your body? Feel it. Let it go wild. It may feel like it will kill you. Find out if it will. The alternative is to live with that fear forever. It is time to remind you that none of this is real. It is all a fantasy, a dream – or a nightmare for some of you. Your ego mind takes it all deadly seriously. Nothing in the physical experience truly matters. What matters for you is your belief in it and the energy you give to the importance of the illusion. All of this keeps the dream alive for you. Whatever it is that you fear or that triggers other feelings you label as negative is not real. You won’t realize that by listening to Me. This awareness will only come through diving into it. Attempting, though of course unsuccessfully, to chase it away just makes it real to you.

All that is real is the You that is experiencing all of this. It will never go away. So, have your experiences. Enjoy the ride. Do you choose your experiences each day? Only to a limited degree. Truth be told, you never know what is coming next. Stop trying to control, change, or hide from what appears. Hop on board. The true You is indestructible. The Divine You has chosen for you. Whatever happens, when the dust settles, there you are. You simply are. As Spirit is, as God is, You are. Your mind thinks you are the body, you are less than Divine, and that you will die. Stop listening! Dive into the now. Dive into the feelings. Otherwise, there can never be peace of mind, nor can that peace come out of an intention or a goal. In that case you are busy trying to change what is.

Let’s come back to the original statement about peace of mind leading to stagnation. Have you ever had peace of mind for a long and sustained period of time? Have you felt that peace for weeks, months, or years on end? I would be very surprised if your honest answer was yes. If it is no, how can you think that peace of mind leads to stagnation? You have no experience to back up such a belief. That is just another crazy idea, one of thousands in the insane mind of humanity. So, let’s let go of peace of mind, of heaven on earth, of love, joy, and happiness as constant states of mind, of never experiencing “negative” emotions. Go for not going. Go for hanging out with or without lethargy with what is now. Your only goal is to have no goal (previous message), to be with what is. Does that mean that you don’t interact with the world? Of course you do, but not with the intention to create a certain result. You play because it is all there is to do. Whatever presents itself is the only game in town. If emotions are triggered in the playing of the game, then that is a part of the game. Play on. If part of your game is to try to change the game, I wish you the best of luck. We can talk again later. I am always a part of your game. Listen to your Divine Inner Coach.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

How can pain be a gift?

The following was taken from a recent group session.

Sanhia: If the now includes a feeling of pain … that is perfect.

Participant One: It should be nice. but it is not nice. It is painful. If perfection is pain, then maybe it is perfect.

Sanhia: If there is the experience of pain, and the thought appears and is held onto that “I wish I weren’t feeling pain”, there is pain about pain. The wishing away of pain does not make anything better. The thought that it shouldn’t be here doesn’t change anything.

Participant One: I feel so embarrassed of being overwhelmed by the pain.

Sanhia: You can not change the event that triggered the pain. You cannot stop the feeling of grief. You can choose not to dwell on thoughts that the event should not have happened or that you should be reacting differently. These thoughts do not change what is. They certainly don’t help you feel better. So, you notice the thought is there and let it go. Continue with the feelings rather than with the thoughts. Whatever is here now is real. The thoughts want to take you somewhere else. Stay here. If pain is present, remain with the bodily sensations. You will be better off not even labelling these feelings. Notice what is felt and hang with it. One thing about the now… it is constantly changing. Stay with the feeling until it changes and then continue with what comes then. If you notice yourself wanting the feelings to move in any direction, let the thought go and allow the feelings the freedom to express or move however they wish to. Your body is an amazing healing machine. It will do whatever needs to be done if you simply let it do its job. What happens if you just stop exercising that muscle that wants things to be different and refuses to accept what is? One thing is certain; if you try to change what is to what you want it to be, you will fail.

Participant One: But it feels like I am failing at everything.

Sanhia: That thought comes from the ego mind belief that you are running the show. If you are not running the show, how can you possibly fail? Things simply are as they are. You didn’t create them that way. Why would you have if you had that ability? How self-destructive would you have to be to create what you absolutely don’t want? That is a crazy idea! You cannot change things; you cannot make them better. You wouldn’t even know what would truly be better. What is now is perfect. We know that because that is how it is. Let the energy of the mind be filled with letting it be, with finding gratitude, or with experiencing whatever feelings seem to block gratitude.

Participant One: But it feels like I must have chosen this on some level. I can’t tell if it is a gift or a disaster.

Sanhia: Precisely. You are powerless to change the situation but able to be present with it, to see it as it is without your thoughts. This is giving it to God. There is no need to understand why it is happening, to be able to see it as either a gift or a disaster. It simply is and you experience certain bodily sensations along with it. If you fight it, you fight God. You will “lose”, that is you won’t be able to change what is and you will experience pain in trying and failing.

Participant One: But I am going to have pain anyway.

Sanhia: Then accept that you have pain. Try not to give it a label, but experience what you are feeling without trying to change it or make it go away. Leave your personal will out of it.

Participant One: I can do lots of things to try to not focus on it. I can go to work, watch a film, call a friend.

Sanhia: I am going to speak to a part of your mind that will recall this talk from time to time. There will be a moment when you realize that everything is as it should be, that everything is perfect no matter how it feels, that there is no part of you that would ever want things to be any different. You will have the experience that everything that is here right now, without exception, is here to support you. There is nothing but life. So, in whatever way in this now you are able to stop resisting and look at life in the face as it is, you are opening up to having this as your constant awareness. On the other hand, every time you push the now away, say “take this cup away from me”, or want something else, you are prolonging the period of pain and agony. Pain is transitory. If you simply feel it, it will last a little while, morph, and then disappear. If you don’t face it, avoid it, or try to push it away, the pain will just hang around. You will drag out the suffering for a long time. I am planting these thoughts so that in any now they may float to the surface. You might ask why you are shooting yourself in the foot and will instead embrace whatever is there.

Participant One: I like the picture of the water which accompanies my Life Path number in my numerology chart. I feel like I am on the shore watching the water rush past. Why don’t I just jump in? Maybe I can do that. I can feel both the joy and the fear of jumping in.

Sanhia: I have been sharing some “Michael” stories with you of late. One thing that you might notice from them is that the things that encouraged him to let go of ego mind more than anything else were the times that were so hard to accept. He did not grow nearly as quickly when things worked out as he wanted them to. There was always value in those experiences as well, but the benefits tended to be more temporary. The things that were the most painful, those he did not want to have happen, were the ones that proved to be the greatest gifts. Right now, you can express gratitude for the gift without having a clue what the gift is. You can take time to really look at it and feel it instead of pushing it away.

Participant One: I understand.

Sanhia; You can decide to stop fighting what is. A nineteenth century Indian chief from a north-western American tribe, known as Chief Joseph, after watching his people repeatedly lied to and massacred by the American government, finally surrendered, stating, “I will fight no more forever”. He stopped fighting and accepted what was. Spirit/God will remove everything that stands in the way of your awakening, if necessary. Nothing real can be lost. For some people a great amount of loss, pain, and suffering is required before they decide to fight no more forever.

Participant One: (tears)

Sanhia: You can fight for seemingly forever, but you can stop fighting in an instant.

Participant One: I can feel where that fighting spirit is; it is right where the pain is.

Sanhia: Let’s play with this a little. Let’s say that you feel something that you call sadness. If possible, let the label go and just notice the feeling. Now it is another moment, and you notice the feeling is still there and you feel it in your heart chakra. Your mind wants to take over and explain why you are sad. Your situation is horrible, and anybody would be feeling sadness. You have now lost track of what is present and are instead watching/listening to an endless loop of the story. This mind view is all you are allowing yourself to experience in the now. Nobody is forcing you to keep your attention riveted to your story. This is your personal will acting. Rather than experience the freshness that the present always has, you are stuck in this endless loop. It’s a little like holding your breath. This is not so good for the health. Try paying attention to the fresh thought that comes as well as the fresh feeling. Notice but don’t hold on to it. There is a children’s game called hot potato. A roasted potato is tossed to you. If you hold on to it you will burn your hands, so you lob it to another who flips it to another and so on. Your thoughts are like hot potatoes. In the now you would not hold on or you would be burned.

Participant One: People keep reminding me of my story when I meet them. It’s hard for me to speak about what I’m going through.

Sanhia: You don’t have to share with them what is there, but for yourself – notice. They are reminding you to notice your now. If they seem to treat you as a “poor you”, that is your mirror. In any case you can thank them for asking but share only if you feel guided. This is your now. There is nothing you must do. You do as you are guided. If you feel a need to decide, know that your personal will is acting. When Spirit is ready to act, you will know. There will be no decision to make. It is not your job to make others feel that you are doing alright. Your job is ever simpler. It is just to be present with what moves now. Otherwise, you will have nothing to give to others but your pain and your fear.

You won’t always have your pain, but if you are willing to have it, to experience it, and to go where it leads you, it will have served its purpose. The bright light of love is always on the other side. The pain is necessary to burn away the clouds of your illusions, the untruths you hold about yourself and life. Let it do its valuable, irreplaceable job. The gift is always there. You deserve to feel the truth of your Divinity, which can only be found in this now.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

Can you explain more about personal will and God’s Will?

The following was taken from a recent group session.

Participant One: I have a question about the Will of God. Is it our awakened will? Why would such a will need to exist? Does it lead to something good in the end? What is this God?

Sanhia: The real questions are, “Why is what is happening?” Is there purpose or meaning in it? Is there any connection or Oneness in it or is it just random? If you resist or fight whatever is happening, you will experience pain and suffering, and it will still be here. You may decide to stop resisting because you can’t do anything about it. This level of acceptance might be to say that you won’t try to change things, but you’re still pissed about it. Your will is that it be different. The only way to find out if what I am saying has any substance to it is to try it. So, we can replace the expression “the Will of God” with “what is”. Instead of “personal will” we can use, “I don’t want what is” or “how I want to change what is”. Be aware where personal will exists and experiment with not empowering it, not following it. See what happens when you welcome or practice expressing gratitude for what is. What have you got to lose when you have realized you are powerless to change what is. Goal setting and positive thinking just don’t work. It’s not about understanding. That need to know will just lead you down the same rabbit hole. Your only job is to recognize when your personal will is active. Notice that you cannot simply decide to not have a personal will anymore, because it is expressing in your present. That would be a resistance to what is. Notice but don’t follow. It may seem that you can’t decide anything. That can be a healthy realization.

So, for you it seems that your right now is that your husband feels stressed around his work. Your personal will wants to do something about it. Why fight what is? So, you notice and then see what comes into the new now. Is it true that your husband should not be experiencing what is happening? Is it true that you should do something about it? Are you certain you have a better idea about what should be? If you are not sure, why do you choose to fight? What if you could rise high above all that is, see through all illusions of time and space, see that your husband is experiencing exactly the perfect thing to support his awakening?  Here you are resisting what God is bringing. Are you doing this for yourself also? All you need to know is that this is what is.

Participant One: Does this mean that I should never take any action? What if God wants me to respond here in a certain way?

Sanhia: If that is what is wanted in the situation you won’t be able to stop yourself from doing it. Choice is not involved. When you spontaneously react, all you can do is notice what happened. When you act from your inner guidance there is no question of whether you did the right thing or not. There is no expectation of any specific result or reaction from your husband. If a similar situation were to occur tomorrow, you might find yourself guided to act in a totally different way. It is never about right or wrong. This gives you enormous freedom to just be in the present, responding to what is.

Participant One: It seems that it just becomes witnessing, witnessing, witnessing. Do I have any importance?

Sanhia. Let’s just play around here. We will use words because that is all we have. God created you in Its own image. For fun. God desired to have someone to play with. But if they only do what God wants them to do, then they are not in Its image because God does as It wishes in every moment. How does God create a game where It can play with the creations without controlling them, having the potential for meeting as the equals they are? The only difference between you and God is that God is the creator while you are the created. You did not create yourself, but otherwise were created in God’s image. Your relationship with Jesus, for example, is as an absolute equal, both created by God. So, we are playing this game and when you realize that We are One in Divinity, how could We have different Wills? It isn’t that the human bows down to the Will of God, it is that there is absolutely no difference between them. When you believe there is a difference and that God is up there and you are down here, there is fear. You feel a need to choose independently of God out of fear. Fear generates more fear. But you are not separate. God is just here and trying to play. You are the aspect of God that seems to have a body and senses and can play in the physical illusion.

Participant Two: Is blame part of the game?

Sanhia: Blame is only apart of the game in terms of fear and resistance to the game. In the now there is no blame; there is just the reacting to the moment, the playing of the game. Everything and its opposite are true at the same time. This drives the mind crazy until it drops out of the competition and plays with what is instead of what isn’t. I have been telling you that you have no free will, but without free will, you could not choose the Will of God over your personal will. Without free will, you cannot surrender your free will. Had you been created without free will, you would just do what God wanted.

Participant Two: That might be better.

Sanhia: But what fun would that be for God? How can you truly have fun with others if you believe there is a level difference? In that case one of you feels responsible for the other. It’s ball-and-chain time again. Your belief is that you must have your personal will to be free, but that is actually the ball-and-chain. A rebel has no freedom because he is limited to acting in opposition. If you really look at what is, rather than what you think it should be, you will have the realization that no improvement could be made. Just hearing that is meaningless. It is something you must investigate for yourself. When you ask the question, “What is God?” You are God, but not the part of God that created you. It is all One. Personal will is based on the untruth that you are separate from God. There is no trust in the separation. It believes that if you don’t take care of you, nobody will. The insane thought is that you can do things better than God can. Part of that confusion comes from your belief that what you see in the world is God’s creation rather than your projection.

Participant One: Is our personal will really our will or is it our rebellion?

Sanhia: You have freedom only if you take it. Most people do not exercise that freedom. They listen to the dictates of their minds, which were trained by the mass consciousness, and then carry out the will of other humans rather than listening within to their own Divine Will and following that. In this way they keep themselves in bondage going to jobs they don’t love, sacrificing the now for illusory futures, remaining in unsatisfying relationships, watching their dreams and their bodies slowly deteriorate.  Out of a world of infinite choice where they can follow their passions and truly live for the moment, they keep themselves chained to unsatisfactory pasts and unknown futures. Personal will becomes an exercise in how they can best keep themselves safe. But they can’t. There is no certainty other than death and taxes. You are created in the image of God. You can play creatively in the universe with God. You can be “buds”, hang out.

Participant One: But you are saying that I cannot change what God has done, that I only have the power to accept what is.

Sanhia: That thinking comes from the belief of being separate from God. When you surrender to God’s Will you are surrendering to your own true will. Your personal will is a lie. It’s not the truth. It is not what you truly want.

Participant One: One could say that this personal will is connected to my separation story, that I am guilty, and God is out to get me.

Sanhia: If you were God and were creating a world it would be one where people never had to worry about food or shelter or any of those types of things. Each time you set goals to handle such matters you are expressing the belief that they are not already being taken care of. You are refusing to accept God’s gifts and feeling you must take that role upon yourself. Rather than trusting and living in the now, you are trying to control and live in a future that doesn’t exist. You are using your Divine power to be powerless. Therefore, I am saying that your personal will never serves your true interests.

Participant One: So, I have been using my personal will to try to create something that is already here right now.

Sanhia: Yes, and most likely in a superior form from what your personal will had in mind.

Participant One: Thank you! That is enough!

Sanhia: If the mind goes “How?”, the response is to open your eyes and look around. It’s here right now. It has always been here right now. You are always provided for. There have been no times when you starved to death, when you could not breathe, when you had no awareness, when you weren’t in the now – even if your thoughts were elsewhere. Do you remember the times that were the most glorious, the times when you truly felt alive? All times are like that when you let go of the mind thoughts about how things should be and face what is. How it is is exactly what you want it to be. Nothing has to change. Now you can play with God. Accepting what is does not mean rolling over and playing dead. It does not mean inactivity. It means that you listen to the Divine Guidance within you and react to what is. You are fully engaged in this dance with God. This awareness and co-creation will not burst into being and stay forever. It will come in bits and pieces. Two steps forward, one step back. This is perfect. No faster than you can assimilate. There may be old fears and beliefs still to become aware of and let go of, more personal will to become aware of and released. The Will of God is always there, always carrying you, always deeply desired.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

How can I learn to love myself?

We have a question that came in response to the previous message on co-dependency. It is paraphrased here.

Many of our problems seem to come from not being loved as a child, and then we feel we have a black hole inside that needs to be filled. All spiritual answers I have heard are saying the same thing, that you must love yourself. But how to love yourself if we don’t know how to do it or even know what love is? How do we get to know if no one shows us? I’m sure the answer is true, but I feel a big blaming towards the one who doesn’t have love. My feeling is that the ones who have love in their life should show the others love. I have read “You shall love others as yourself” from Jesus. He didn’t say, “You have to love yourself first,” as I often hear from spiritual books and teachers. That has always made me wonder, feel, or sense that this interpretation can make people more egocentric.

Thank you for that wonderful question. Hopefully we will deal with all aspects of it. I wish to begin by saying that not many, but all your problems come from wanting your personal will to have precedence over the Will of God. They germinate from your wish for what is to be different than it is. What is is the will of God. It is God’s gift to you in this moment, the perfect thing for you. It is given with love because God is Love and could give nothing else. It can feel painful to you because your personal will wants something else, contrary to what God is providing. If you maintain that separation, you will suffer and feel unloved. This has nothing to do with how you were raised. Your perceptions about your upbringing have everything to do with your beliefs and projections, in your separation from the Divine Love of God. I will tell you the absolute truth about your parents. They, Divine Children of God, were doing the best that they could. Mostly they were choosing personal will over Divine Will as all humans do most of the time. If you want to know how to love, begin by thanking your parents for not only doing their best, but for playing the role that needed to be enacted in your life to best support your awakening process. Your work now is to go inside and see where you hold your parents in judgment; that place where you do not love them is where you also do not love yourself. Ask Spirit or God to assist you in receiving the gift that your parents were and are for you. Wherever you feel less than full acceptance, that is the work for you to do. To be a victim is to say to God that “You are wrong”. It is to choose your personal will over that of God. It is to state that you think you know better. It is to condemn yourself to misery and separation from feeling the Love of God. While believing that God didn’t give you what you wanted, it was you who resisted and didn’t want what God gave you. Give up your separation. Give up your personal will. Stop fighting what is, while wanting things to be different. This is what being in the now is. Have the intention to accept God’s Will for you. Trust what is here now, knowing that it is the highest and the best thing.

The question about loving yourself, the spiritual teaching…I can understand your confusion. How does one go about loving oneself? How do we define love? What is it? Other good questions. It is said that the truth that can be written or stated is not the whole truth. Words cannot explain what love is. We encourage you to approach these questions using the process of elimination. What is not love? We have already provided one enormous hint. Choosing personal will over Divine Will is not love. If God is Love, then not choosing God’s Will is not choosing love. This likely means that everything you have ever learned about love is probably untrue. If it is about getting your personal desires met, it is not about love. Look at all the goals you have for your personal self. Wanting to feel loved is a goal for your personal self. Stop striving for those things. Instead focus on receiving the love that God is giving you each moment of every day. See what that is. Reread the last message and see all the aspects of co-dependency that are mistaken for love. Anything you wish to receive from anybody else is not an expression of love. Those are expressions of lack, of neediness. God provides everything you need in the now. Looking elsewhere is a refusal to accept the Will of God.

You are not a hole that needs to be filled. You are a Divine Child of God, perfect as you are. The human condition is belief in separation from God. That is the biblical fall. It encompasses not feeling loved or loveable, of feeling guilty. This has nothing to do with your parents. It has to do with you. This is not blame. This is the human condition. You share it with everyone on the planet. Everyone’s job is to let go of their personal will and to follow the Will of God, to accept the perfection that God is presenting in the ever changing and morphing present. Whatever you are experiencing now that is not acceptable to you is your creation. That is not blame; it is how it is. If you pretend this is not your creation, you give away all your power. When you choose to want your will to rule, you create these painful experiences to appear to be real. Use your power by surrendering it to God instead of pretending to be a victim. To say that others who have love should share it with you is an expression of victimhood, of co-dependency. You are saying that you need somebody else to do this work for you, but they cannot do that. You are in charge of your experience, not them. If they could control your life by determining whether to give you love, you certainly would be a helpless victim. Fortunately, this is not the case.

Nobody can show you love because others act as your mirror. If you are not loving yourself, if you are not accepting yourself as you are right now, then you will not find that love reflected at you from others. Oh, you might bask in it for a while, but the feeling of being loved won’t stick. To ask for others to show you love is not a realistic request. If another is living in love, they can only spread that love to everyone else on the planet. This is not even a choice. If others are not in such a space, they have nothing to give. In either case, the effect on the one who feels unloved will be nil. So, to ask for others to share love with you is a futile gesture. That can only start with you. Then you can begin to receive what has always been there for you. The irony, of course, is that when you are capable of receiving love you have no need to do so. Again, give up your personal will’s need to be shown love, and surrender to the Will of God who will always rain love down upon you. Again, in the final analysis, only you can do this work. Nobody can do it for you. That may sound frightening; it may leave you feeling helpless, but ultimately it is the most empowering thing that you could hear. To feel love, you do not need anybody else to do anything or to act in any certain way toward the world. You have the absolute power here. You are not and cannot be a victim because it is all in your hands.

Let’s go back to the statement about spiritual teachers saying that the first thing is to love yourself and your fear that this might lead people to becoming more egocentric, just thinking about themselves. If one’s interpretation of loving yourself amounts to looking at what you want to have in your life and feeling that you deserve to have these desires met, then that is an endorsement for following personal will. That is not surrendering to the Will and Love of God. It could be said that it is an act of thinking you know better than God what is best for you. It is an act of resistance to God’s Love. It does not demonstrate trust; it is not an acceptance of the now. If that is how “loving oneself first” is interpreted, you have a good point. Now, looking at the biblical statement from Jesus which is often interpreted as, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” there arises a curious question. If you are not loving yourself, does that mean not to love others either? Perhaps this is not a statement of putting yourself or others in the supreme position, but one of expressing the Oneness between you. You are encouraged to do unto others as you would have them do unto you, not so that you have a technique for getting what you want, but as a statement of fact. As you do to others, you at the same time do to yourself. It can be no other way. There is no separation.

Your job, as was mentioned in the last message, is to take care of yourself. As you do that, there is no problem with having the intention to give loving service to all others around you, not because it is the right thing to do, but because it requires you to be in the now and to pay attention to loving energy. As you do this you become aware of every place where you hold a judgment about another. You own that judgment, realizing it is one you hold toward yourself. You work with that in yourself until you look out and see nothing but loving acceptance of the other. Truly loving others is quite an accomplishment that should keep you busy for a while. If you hold the thought that your feelings of love are other people’s responsibility, that you don’t know how to love yourself so they have to do it for you, to teach you how, then I am sorry to inform you that you will remain unhappy and feel unloved and separate from God for as long as you hold onto that belief. This is not blame. This is how it is. Fortunately, you have absolute choice here. You can choose to follow the Will of God instead of your personal will. You can choose to accept and face the now to see what that is. Ultimately, we are not talking about a question of love, particularly in terms of what most human’s understanding for that term is.  We are talking about will. Is it your will or is it God’s Will?

Let me bring this to a conclusion by reminding you about how you might go about surrendering to the Will of God while releasing your personal will. This is not a formula. This is not telling you the way to do this. This is not written in stone. These are simply pointers. Ultimately, your inner Divine Knowing will guide you. To begin with, you can notice two things. First observe your thoughts. Be aware of when the thoughts indicate that you don’t want things to be as they are or where you want the future to be different from the present. Notice when the thoughts are about being a victim of your past. As you are aware of these thoughts, do your best not to act on them. Just be conscious they are there in your present. Don’t allow your mind to follow long trains of thought along those tracks. These are thoughts from your personal will. Notice they are there and give them to God, to Spirit, to Me, to Someone Else. Holding on to the now as being unsatisfactory creates the illusion of separation from God, and therefore, from the Will of God. How it is right now is God’s gift to you; whether you understand it or not doesn’t matter. Your only task is to look at it as you release your judgmental thoughts. Try to really see what is here. Focus on that rather than on what is not here. As you become practiced in this you will notice that what is here is in constant motion, changing, morphing, reforming. Replace your thoughts about how it should be or about what is missing with your awareness of what it is.

I said there would be two things and that was the first. Secondly, notice that you might be having emotional reactions to what is in your now, both connected to the noticing of what is happening and to your thoughts. These feelings are your reactions to your beliefs in separation. You are reacting to what isn’t rather than to what is. Notice those feelings and stay as present as you can with them. If your mind wants to rationalize the feelings as being caused by this or that or feeling victim to whatever this or that is, notice and let the thoughts go. Whatever your mind is focusing on as a cause is not here now. If a cause should be here in your now, then action might be appropriate, but usually it isn’t present. A car headed directly at you is in your now. Your parents are not likely here now, nor are world events you have read or heard about. What is here right now? Your feelings are here, so accept them. There is no need to act on them, just let them be present and release any need to change them or to judge yourself for having them. Simply experience them until they are no longer in your now. Wherever your feelings or your thoughts try to lead you, do your best not to follow. Stay with what is happening. It is that simple, though not necessarily easy. Your habit is to follow the ego driven personal will, but God is in the now.

God’s Love is in the now. God is within you. You are Divine. You will never experience that just because I am telling you who you are or should other people share that with you. If you are feeling separate from God and lack trust in the perfection of what is being brought to you, you will not likely experience your Divine Nature. When you don’t accept the now, you are expressing distrust in God and choosing your personal will over God’s. If you want to follow God’s will, stop! Stop following your own will. You do this through practice, by welcoming and saying thank you to whatever is there, and by fully accepting your feelings without trying to change them. You can do this. You are Love. You are Divine. As your Creator is, so are you. One and the same. Could not be different. The awareness of this arrives as you stop resisting God’s gifts, as you let go of efforts to try to change things or to make yourself better. That’s part of the reason that We say:

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

How can I see ego as perfect?

In duality there is Spirit and there is ego. Most spiritual seekers label Spirit as good and ego as bad. In oneness there is no judgment; there is no comparison; there is no separation. We have spoken many times about accepting the perfection of the now. If your ego is speaking in the now and you wish to shut it up, to be rid of it, to be beyond it – are you accepting the now? Everything comes from the Divine. Notice that “everything” is in bold, italicized, and underlined. Everything comes from the Divine. Ego comes from the Divine. Spirit comes from the Divine. Everything is in perfection. Everything happens exactly as it should.  Everything is already written out, has already happened. You, the reader, believe that it is happening now and that any possible outcome could result from this present moment that is being experienced. You believe that what you choose to do or not do will make a difference in that outcome. You think that the moment is not perfect enough so you have to roll up your sleeves and get to work to make it more perfect. The mind says that ego is not part of the perfection and needs to go, that ego tells untruths and fills you with fear. Since everything comes from God, He apparently made a mistake here and it is your job to correct it. As I love to say, “Good luck with that”. Only ego could suggest that you can do God’s job better. Only ego can suggest that you should try to get rid of ego. What you resist persists. The ego may be many things, but it is no dummy; it is not self-destructive.

So, let’s turn it around and accept the perfection of ego’s presence in the now, that its pronouncements are exactly what you should be hearing. I could just leave things at that; leave you to meditate on it, and call it a day. The last few messages have been rather long and we each deserve a break. But….I’m going to play with this a little longer. The only reason that you are able to hear the voice of ego is that part of you believes it is speaking the truth. You suspect there are some things you need to fear and that you have to protect yourself, defend yourself, attack, blame. Again, ego can only speak these things in your ear if a part of you believes they are true. One of the great ironies – and I love irony, which is perhaps all there is in duality where opposites exist at the same time – is that in duality you can’t have Spirit without ego. Spirit indicates where home is and ego reminds you of why you are both terrified of and ill-equipped for going there. If you listen carefully to Spirit you will hear that there is nowhere to go; you are home now. Ego screams out, “The hell with that! This doesn’t feel like home.” It then proceeds to reel off a litany of all the characteristics that your true home should have; it should be a heavenly place where there are none of the negatives, only the positives. The ego promises that one day if you work hard enough, you will get there. Other days in despair it cries out that you will never make it; it’s hopeless.

Your mind might ask why God would create such a thing as ego which fills you with such confusion, untruth, and suffering. Why does God want you to experience doubt and fear? One of the ironies is that at the same time that God has arranged everything and it is all fixed in the illusion of time, you are the God that has done this. It reminds me of the old questions, “If God is all powerful can He create a rock so heavy that even He can’t pick it up?” So here you sit, the Child of God, not knowing who you are. You are here for no other purpose than remembering that you are the Child of God, but you have absolutely forgotten it. If someone were to suggest that truth to you, you would not believe them and would probably shove them away, at least figuratively. You believe that you are something small and inferior and sinful and deserving of punishment. Sometimes you try to convince yourself that you are more than that. This whole argument is ego arguing with ego. But this is the thing…without the ego you will never find your way home. Ego is there as a nearly constant reminder of what separates you from the truth. Ego isn’t responsible for that; you are doing it. The truth of you is pretending to be the untruth of you. Ego has this wonderful job of reminding you of what you are doing to yourself, so that you can see it and feel it. Of course most of what ego says is false, what it tells you to fear is actually powerless. Yet, a small or big part of you buys the ego story and is convinced that it is up to you to take the bull by the horns and change yourself and/or the world so that the worst doesn’t happen. It’s just like in the movies; you can’t have an exciting show without a good bad guy or bad girl or both. You can’t have a hero without a villain. Jesus had to have the devil tempting him.

You can’t wake up without ego. Your job is not to make an enemy of ego, to try to blame or get rid of it in order to live in an egoless state. Welcome it. Listen to what ego has to say. These are the untruths you believe that are standing in your way. To banish the voice of ego is to shoot the messenger. It doesn’t change the message. Instead of asking for Spirit’s support in offing the messenger, listen to what ego is telling you. If what it tells you fills you with fear or other strong emotions, go right into them. Face them. If you suspect there might be truth in what it is saying, then look at it. Investigate the thoughts. Are they really true? I can tell you until I am blue in the face, though I have neither a face nor a color, that everything ego tells you is a lie and everything you are afraid of isn’t real. However that will do you no good at all. It is not for you to put your trust in me, but to do the work yourself. Ego has brought you your assignments, now it is time for you to get down to work. As you are facing fears and looking to see what is really true, ego is going to do everything possible to stay in the picture. When you have found that there is nothing to fear and you are certain that ego thoughts are untrue, there is little space for ego to come in. Even then you can welcome in whatever openings ego finds because they represent places that distract you from being fully present.

Love the ego. Welcome it into your life and allow it to do its special job. This does not mean that you allow your mind to go crazy following the path ego has laid out for you. Hear what ego is saying without following, without choosing to act as it would have you do. A politician was once quoted as saying, “Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.” Of course ego is not your enemy, it is your teacher. We are now complete with this message. If the ego is in your now, welcome that perfection and listen. See what you fear may be true so that you can let go of those false truths. If you aren’t aware of their presence, you cannot let them go. This is the invaluable service of ego. We may know how this will all play out, but you don’t and cannot. It is much more fun to be in the movie when you don’t know, and are simply experiencing the excitement of life in the now.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

Why do you tell stories?

Now it is my turn to ask the question. Why do you tell stories? As you cannot hear the tone in my voice, please understand that this is not asked in a judgmental tone. The question isn’t one of should or shouldn’t you tell stories or are stories good or bad. This is an investigation that we can conduct together into what the story is behind your stories. There are some tales that you might just tell one time. Say for example that an interesting thing happens to you while you are out shopping. You come home and share it with your partner. You laugh or cry or scratch your heads about it together and it never comes up again. You have lots of stories like that. Something makes an impact upon you and you choose to share it with someone else. These are not the types of narrations that we are going to zero in on, though the same thought processes could be used with any tale. What we are concerned with today are the stories that you carry around with you like gems in a sack; you take one out and polish it and share it over and over with different people or perhaps just mull it over for your own entertainment. Some of them you have shared dozens of times and maybe more than once with a given individual. It may be difficult to remember who you have shared it with or how times the tale has been told. Some of these stories are about successes you have had, something you achieved, or somebody you helped. Sharing such tales may make you feel better for a while. Some of your sagas might be about victimhood, what someone did to you or some unfortunate occurrence. Perhaps they relate what a tough year you have had or even about something that you have never been able to recover from.

The first thing I would like to investigate with you is to look at the reasons why you share these stories. The purpose in this line of inquiry is to support you in being in the now, to encourage the awareness of your awakened self. So we come back to your sagas and view them from that standpoint. What is your motivation, your reason for telling your tale? I wish to begin by suggesting that you become aware of the thoughts you have around any story, as I have encouraged you to do with each thought that enters your mind – a story being just a drawn out thought. It’s a picture you have from the past that you are sharing in the now. First of all, the narration has nothing to do with the now other than the fact that you are presently thinking about it or relating it. I think we can agree that the tale is about the past, not about what is now happening. As we know, there is no such thing as the past. You cannot find a place called the past. There is only the present moment. So the story is something your mind brings forth in the present that relates to an imagined past. I say imagined, because it isn’t really there. What you are describing is not going on. When you are telling the saga about this imagined happening, you can’t even have certainty that your story matches what supposedly happened if, indeed, anything did really occur. You have your perception of this past occurrence, peppered with your projections. If another who was involved in this story was to be the teller, the “facts” would likely be quite different. This would certainly be true if the other was the so-called victimizer in your story. So, we are not talking about “truth” when we refer to these narrations. If you say to your children that you are going to tell them a story, they won’t be expecting the evening news. They expect the tale to be made up. Are any of your stories really any different from that?

Let’s say that you want to tell a story about something you think happened to you that you wish had not occurred. We’ll say that it was painful, whether physically, emotionally, psychologically, financially, or some combination. You still feel that you suffer some from what happened. What now is the motivation for sharing this tale? This is what I want to encourage you to look at. I can’t tell you what your motivation might be for sharing any particular story, but if you are unconscious of your purpose, you are unaware of what you are actually doing and what effects it may have on your present moment. As we mentioned in the last message, your actions are very important. Through the action of retelling this story you are expressing your belief in its verity. Do you want your listener to think “Oh, poor you” and give you at least a spiritual hug to ease your pain? If that is the case, you are asking for validation of your painful saga, for support for your victimhood. You are asking them for agreement that this event should not have happened. Not only are you carrying around an old story that keeps you from noticing what is in the now, but your old story is based on not accepting what happened. Instead of experiencing what is present in the now, are you choosing to fill your life with sadness and anger from a thought memory in your head?

You may not choose to have a memory come to mind, but you do choose to hold onto it and to feed it through retelling. Is there a benefit from this choice? Does the sharing of your narrative allow you to release it forever? Likely there is a tradeoff where you receive a short term relief from the listener in exchange for a longer term continuance of the pain and suffering. If you continue to tell the story it is like another drink for the alcoholic. The attention helps for a while, but the benefit wears off and you feel compelled to tell the tale again. Of course you are not limited to one story; you likely have a collection of them in your arsenal. Look at the different elements in your narration and ask yourself if you are sure that each one is true. Be honest with yourself. You have nothing to gain from trying to pull your own leg. What happens if you accept the absolute perfection of that event having occurred? If this presents a big challenge you can ask Spirit to help you accept the perfection of the now. This story is coming into your now, but why? Is this tale to be told, or is it to be released so that it no longer blocks you from being present? It is not being suggested that you pretend as if this event never happened to you, to go into denial, but what happens when you choose not to be weighed down by something that is nowhere in sight in the present moment?

Perhaps an old story that you tell repeatedly is one that was highly traumatic for you, such as experiencing violence, molestation or rape, or the death of a loved one. Part of the belief that your mind carries and society reinforces is that you not only are saddled with this event for the rest of your life, but that it is your duty to never forget. A judgment, a condemnation of the act must be expressed. Such actions are not acceptable. It is your job to ensure that the deed is never forgotten, to make sure it doesn’t happen again. The perpetrator deserves condemnation and punishment. This is what mass consciousness teaches. Now, accepting the perfection of the now isn’t a justification for an action. It is not saying that it is okay to intentionally harm another. But the truth is that it happened. Right or wrong it happened.  The truth is that whatever is in the now is happening. There is nothing you can do to change any of that. Asking Spirit to help you accept the perfection of what is happening or has happened does not mean you want to be shown that it was okay for somebody to do what they did. This is about you. It is about realizing that anything that is in your now has already been accepted into existence. Not accepting it is a denial that it has already happened. It is not changeable. Any attempt to accomplish that is a fool’s task, one at which you cannot succeed. Notice your pain; notice your emotions; return to the present and see what is there now. Pain and suffering are not constants. Everything moves and changes. Let it; watch it. The past is unchangeable. The future does not exist. There is just now. Do your best to focus here. This requires enormous will, but no understanding. It asks only that you persist in staying present, while noticing when you aren’t able to. Your job is not to understand. That is a gift that may or may not be brought into your now, but it is never the goal. There is no goal, only focus. Free will is not a matter of being able to choose what will happen; it is the ability to choose your reaction. Fighting what is or what has happened will lead to a life of pain and suffering, to war within you and with the world.

I want to remind you that every person out there, no matter how hurtful their actions might appear to be, is a Child of God, trying the best they can to find love, to find their way home, to find God. Like you they may not always be making the best choices in order to accomplish that, but they will always have the option to learn from the choices they make. Nobody will ever find the love that is the truth within them if their mind is consumed with victimhood.

The idea may be formulating now in your mind that telling stories might not be a wise course to choose to follow. However, it is always a good idea to look at why a story wants to be told. Perhaps you are listening to another tell their sad or angry story. That brings to your memory a similar type of story that you might have once told, but now you accept the perfection of what occurred and may feel a deep sense of gratitude for what happened. You are aware of how that event helped you to let go of a whole layer of victimhood and you feel freed by that acceptance. You might feel guided to share your story and what you have done with it. Rather than suggesting to them what they could do with their story or lecturing them on how it hurts them – usually not the best choice in any situation – you just talk about you. Maybe you tell your story in such a humorous manner that people laugh at it and that brings you enjoyment, because you have not elicited pity but have brought lightness to the whole situation. You may need to be able to laugh at yourself. Laughter helps to center people in the now. Stories can provide an absolutely  beautiful, divine service. Jesus conducted much of his teaching through stories or parables. They can bypass the ego defense structures people have in place to fend off challenging ideas. Sometimes I “out” Michael by sharing some of his personal stories when I am talking with groups. He is hesitant to do this himself, not wishing to appear arrogant or superior. He gets to observe – whether it is a story about a time he fell flat on his face but learned much, or a situation when he acted in the way I was suggesting he go, despite great fear – that others can benefit and gain courage and inspiration from hearing them. Stories can help move people off the pedestal where you may have placed them. Such tales remind you of what you hold in common with them. They can show possibility.

Again, ask yourself why you want to tell a story. It might prove helpful to go on a story diet, severely limiting the number you share. Instead, spend that energy investigating the stories, checking to see if holding on to them is keeping you out of experiencing the now, looking to see what untruths may be promulgated through them. Always look at the motive behind your wish to share a tale. As a story comes to mind, remember to notice if you have told it before. Be brutally honest with yourself about why the story bears repeat telling. The ego can be very convincing in encouraging you to share a story because it would be “good” for someone else to hear it, when the actual purpose is to get stroked for how evolved you are. There is nothing wrong with wanting a little attention, but it is helpful if you are upfront with yourself about your motives. When in doubt, you might wait until the story seems to be dragged out of you. Do you find yourself being in a competitive situation with others, wanting to get your story in? Try being a good listener, perhaps asking them questions. Is there something there for you in another’s story? Do you find yourself in judgment of what you are hearing? What are you projecting onto the other person? Realizing that will likely benefit you more than having your fifteen seconds of glory from telling your own tale. If you truly listen and find common ground with another, there may open up a space for you to offer true support. Be compassionate with others with their stories as you are hopefully gentle with yourself and your old sagas. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

Why should how I act make any difference if nothing matters?

Whoa! That was a somewhat long question, so I may give you a somewhat long answer. We’ll see how it comes out. I’m just in the now. I am here at the beginning of this message and so are you. So, let’s walk together through it. The supposition in this question that nothing matters is absolutely correct. Because this world is an illusion and is not real, what you do here, what anyone does here does not matter. Within this illusion, in a hundred years none of you will be here. Nobody will remember most or perhaps all that you have and will have done in your life. It will be nearly impossible to measure any effect, positive or negative, you have had upon the planet. Add another thousand years and you totally disappear. Any descendants are too far removed to have heard of you. Perhaps you left some work of art or book that can be traced to you, but those chances are slim. All vestiges of you being here physically will fade away. Nobody will know or care. It will be as if you never existed. You didn’t. Whatever you choose to do or choose to not do will make the world neither more real nor less real.

There is only one reason, as far as you are concerned, for your presence here – seeming to occupy a body – and that is to wake up to the truth. This body is not you. This planet is not real. It is a place where the truth of you is playing. It feels very real; it seems authentic. But your job is to wake to the truth of yourself, to find yourself in the eternal now, freed from the fantasies of past and future. When you think about what you should do and how it might make a difference, you are talking about past and future. You are talking of a past that has filled you with ideas about what one should do, or perhaps more specifically what the one called you should do, informed by parents, teachers, friends, religion, morals, and mass media. Often the question arises as to what a “good” person would do. You often act in a way that you believe can affect the future, to change it in a way that you deem to be better for others, for yourself, or perhaps for both.

Again we say that your action makes no difference for the world or for reaching your goals. When you follow your thoughts, which come from a past that doesn’t exist, to try to change a future which doesn’t exist – you are really spinning your wheels. The only certainty is that you will not fully realize the goals you have set and that you will likely not be content with whatever gains you may feel you have made. There will be a lingering sensation of failure and the thought that there is more out there for you to achieve. You might even feel that you are a total failure, and sink into hopelessness.

It may sound like I’m coming down heavily on the side of agreeing that it doesn’t make any difference what you do, but I’m not saying that at all. You are the one who is experiencing the pain and suffering that result from following the dictates of your thoughts. What you do does make a difference for you. When you fail to achieve a goal, you experience pain. If you choose not to have goals, so that failure is impossible, you likely feel guilty for wasting your life. A possible decision in either case is to hide in one or more addictions. So it appears that I am speaking out of both sides of my mouth. First I say that it does not matter what you do, but now I seem to be suggesting that your actions might cause you pain. It seems that no matter what you do you may suffer. Your choices and your goals will not make a difference in the world. That is because you are choosing from ideas and thoughts that come from the past, that are grounded in ignorance, brain washing, guilt, and fear, wishing to change something that you have no hope of changing. This is a textbook example of insanity. You are trying to change what cannot be changed, and then you will likely find a target to blame for your failure, but, remembering about projection, it will come down to blaming yourself.

We have been over this the past few messages. Your job is not to change the future; it is to accept the now. For most of you, your now is filled with fears. How many of you worry about financial support? Do you go off to a job each day that you wouldn’t leave home for if the carrot of a paycheck were not dangled in front of you? Some of you may wake up and go to that job because there is no greater joy in the world for you today? Perhaps some of you do have that satisfaction, so, let’s plow ahead and spread the net a little wider. How many of you experience the fear that you will not have enough money, that someday you might be homeless, unable to feed yourself or your family, or at least not be able to afford the things you would like to have? If you have those fears and allow yourself to dwell upon them, then you live your life with some foreboding about the future and allow those possibilities to have an entrance. I have suggested to you that should such fears emerge you do one of two things. Most importantly, don’t invest time and energy on the thoughts. Let them go and let the next one come. If the worries seem to be repeat visitors, or being felt so intensely, are hard to let go of, then look directly at the beliefs or thoughts and ask yourself if you are sure they are true. These actions support you in being in the now and in hearing your inner guidance. .

Dwelling on thoughts of lack and scarcity keeps you imprisoned in fear. If you look at the examples of Jesus talking about money that made it into the New Testament, you will notice that he never suggested one should worry about it. There were no recommendations to plan for your future. He said that you would be provided for; you would be taken care of. He said to leave everything and to follow him. This is the voice of Spirit. Leave your thoughts and fears and follow that inner voice. That quiet, Divine voice will always lead you to the perfect place. Everything is happening as it should. Your efforts to resist or change what is can only muck up your experience of the now.

Let’s bring this back around to action, to what you do. Perhaps you are ignoring the thoughts of lack and scarcity and are letting them go as has been suggested, but finding yourself confronted with a choice of actions, you may realize that your fears of lack are continuing to run the show. You don’t feel like going to work today, but your fears about money, supporting your family, and losing your job send you off on your way. Your actions speak louder than your words. This is where how you act becomes important. This doesn’t matter to the universe, to God, to Spirit, or to Me. It matters to you. How you act expresses what you believe to be true. Notice when you are acting out of fear and scarcity. This is driven by false beliefs that you hold as true.

If you want to accelerate this process of awakening, to shorten the time of experiencing the illusion of your separation from your Divinity, then it is time to fully face your fear. It is time for you to act in accordance with your joy and your inspiration, rather than from terror. Your finances are being taken care of. You need to let that happen or those fears of lack will be your constant companions. I hear some heavy breathing out there. Some of you are considering forwarding to the next email and ignoring this one. That’s fine. Your fears will be with you until you realize they no longer serve you. My only job is to shake you. It is your job to allow yourself to be shaken out of your false beliefs. You don’t have to wait to do this, but you are certainly welcome to hit the snooze button as many times as you wish. Either way, you are taken care of, but only one of those choices allows you to experience that safety. You can look into every area, every thought that comes into your mind where you notice you react out of fear. The fear may be that you are not responsible, not loveable, or not a good person. Perhaps you withhold your truth from others out of fear of their reaction, of being attacked, of not being loved, or of being abandoned.  I’m not suggesting that you charge ahead saying every thought that comes to mind, as you quit your job and leave your partner. I’m not saying not to do these things either. The “counting to ten” rule might be helpful, that is waiting ten seconds before saying something to see if you are still guided to say it. Look to see why you want to say something. Do you feel hurt and wish to strike back? The end result of your speaking then will be that you are still in pain; you are yet driven by fear. Face this in yourself rather than projecting it on another. However, if you feel guided by your inner voice, go ahead and speak. Know that the other may not be ready to hear what you are offering. That doesn’t matter. Let your words go without expectation of any certain response.  Perhaps it will take some time for your words to be heard. Maybe the ideas will have to come another time from another source. That is not your concern. Act fearlessly in the now and remain fearlessly in the now after acting. When you withhold your words out of fear, you are not trusting. Your inaction maintains a state of fear in your life. When you believe and prejudge that a certain type of behavior is necessary for you to exhibit in order to be a good person, you are living in the prison of the past. It makes it impossible to be present.

There are no good or bad people. There are just people. Some of those people suffer greatly and some don’t. Those who live from the untruths of their thoughts suffer greatly. The more certain they are in the dictates of their minds, the more they suffer. There is no way out for them.  When cracks of doubt begin to emerge in the beliefs a person has been taught, then suffering can begin to lessen; then there may be a way out. Those who begin to suspect that everything they thought they knew may be untrue have a great potential for finding the inner voice, for living in the now. These possibilities expand exponentially when you “put your money where your mouth is”, when you act despite fear and uncertainty. You have been acting from things you thought were true; now you are acting in accordance with the release of those untruths. It requires courage and determination to follow such a path. The world will continue to spin around as the same insane asylum no matter how you act. All that will change will be your perceived place in it. Such action can bring you into awareness of the now that has always existed. The past can fall away and the future does not exist. What is present is love and peace, no matter what the outer experience might be. In the now there is no scarcity of money, food, shelter, clothing, love, friendship, or meaningfulness. You will simply notice the glories that surround you while listening to your Divine guidance, absolutely disconnected from the illusions of a past or concerns about a non-existent future. You will just be in this very moment, playing the game to its fullest, unconcerned by results. The absolute awareness of and perfection of action in the now only becomes manifest when the mind has no thoughts from the past. You flow with, rather than resisting everything that comes your way. Your words and actions are directed only by that quiet but sure inner voice.

Now we return to the original question. We could say that, yes, action is everything. You can lie and deceive yourself with words, but not with actions. You can be terrified by scarcity – that you won’t be taken care of – and that if you follow your inner voice your future will be endangered. You can have that fear but if you act as if you have faith you will find that you survive. You can realize that it is not only possible to live from the joy of your inner inspirations, but that you will thrive there. On the other hand, if you allow your terror to run your life, to limit your choices, it will always be there. Fear will rule your now in such a way that you will find it nearly impossible to truly feel life, to feel the now. If you act as if you trust God and Spirit, even though you aren’t sure that you do, and you persevere with such actions, no matter how many rocky moments you go through, you will reach a point of certainty that everything is being taken care of. You will realize that your little self does not have anything to worry about. That moment will never arrive as long as you try to take care of yourself, of course failing to do that adequately. For some of you it has taken, or will take, so much of being bumped around so hard and so many times by your failed attempts at control, that you are willing to let go of the reins and turn them over to Spirit.

Let’s tie this up now into a tidy little package that you will hopefully not turn into an idea, rules,  and beliefs you feel you should follow if you want to wake up. Notice when fear comes into your mind, warning that certain actions are required in order to insure your safety. Be absolutely willing to look at that. As you look at these programmed beliefs that pop up, ask yourself if you wish to live for eternity in a world where this is the truth. If the answer is no, then you can trust that the thought is not from Spirit. Spirit’s thought is always to let it go, that We will take care of you. Do you wish to live in a world where you are free of responsibility, a world where you can just let go and know that everything is handled? If that’s not the case for you, I apologize. You have somehow stepped into the wrong room. The classroom you seek is down the hall. Look at your actions. Are they honest, or are you acting in a way that you would prefer not to?  Notice where your fear is running you. Be willing to look directly at the fear. Dive into it. Do the five-step process. Act as if you are fearless. I will give this guarantee. Because you are not yet actually fearless, you will run into some bumps down the road. That’s okay. Letting go of thousands of years of conditioning is not an easy matter. As I mentioned, it takes courage and persistence. When the horse throws you, get back on. Act as if you are fearless, and trust until it is no act. Act as if there is nothing to worry about, because Spirit has it all handled in a better way than you have ever been able to achieve. This is the truth, but you will never experience that simply by hearing these words. It is required that you walk the walk. Welcome to Act I, the only one you can ever be in.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit

How should I deal with my strong feelings?

There is a significant difference between noticing a feeling that comes up in your now and defining yourself by that feeling and accepting it as the truth about you. In the moment you may feel grief. To describe yourself by saying that you are grieving expresses a thought from the past which will carry on indefinitely. This becomes your belief of who you are. The former simply means that you are aware that a feeling is present. You can then pay attention to the next thing that comes to you. Rather than holding on to the feeling, which then becomes an idea and identification, you simply allow yourself to notice and release each feeling or thought as it emerges into your awareness. You can tell when someone has defined themself by an emotion, because they hold on to that same feeling/thought for many years. Holding on to old feelings and judgments keeps you out of the present. You become a prisoner of those emotions, caught in a web of suffering. We would be the last to say to ignore the feelings. Acknowledge them! Then let them go and let the next feeling or thought enter. Be aware of where there might be roles you think you should play to accompany the feelings that come. Are you supposed to act sad, angry, or as a victim? Recognize when you are playing a role and then move on. It is also not for you to analyze, justify, or rationalize what appears. What stories have you been telling yourself? Are you certain they are true?

I want to suggest that whoever in your life, past or present, you feel you really know…you are fooling yourself about that. You have no idea who they are. You see your projection upon them, not them themselves. In a similar manner you are aware that nobody around you fully and completely sees you. Part of that comes from your hiding in the belief that invisibility provides you with safety; that if people really knew who you were it would be all over. They would reject you, wouldn’t love you, would see you for the idiot you are afraid you are, and would ostracize you – throw you into the wilderness to the wolves. If people knew you “warts and all” they would not want to be around you. Instead you want to present the image that you believe is loveable. This is not honest. It is not the truth of who you are in the now, and you become hostage to upholding that disguise. These false fronts might include that you are a good mother, considerate, spiritual, honest, intelligent, successful, and on and on. These are ideas, images. What is a spiritual person like? They never lose their temper, judge others, feel guilt, or suffer pain? If inappropriate feelings or thoughts arise, you then want to deny them. If they are too strong, you may succumb to them, go into despair and self-blame, and define yourself as an unspiritual failure. Meanwhile, you are free to be who you are in this moment, which might be angry, grieving, sad, happy, jealous, or guilty. Feel that fully without defense or thinking you should be different. Experience the full spectrum of emotions, and then let them go to feel the next item on your palette.

If it is not okay to feel those things, you either cover them up or succumb to them and they will run your life. None of these feelings or ideas about yourself has anything to do with the truth of who you are. They are experiences to be had and then released. If you try to understand or explain the truth, you will fail. These beliefs become a place to hide, but provide no real peace. As we said before, you can never truly know another or yourself or be known because there are no such separate identities. All those defining thoughts about self and others are just that, thoughts. They come from the past and have nothing to do with the now, the only place you will ever be. In the now you will have many experiences, but none of them have anything to say about who you are, only about what is happening. So buckle up and enjoy the ride. The only thing you can be sure of is that the now always changes. If you hold on to it you leave little room for the new that is constantly appearing. Pain can dissipate quite quickly, but suffering happens when you hold on to your pain. Notice your emotion; take a breath; let it go; see what comes next. Receive each moment fully, without resistance. Let the perfection of the now wash over you. Hold on to none of it, whether it feels good or bad.

Why are we saying these things to you? We are not telling what the truth is or what your spiritual practice should be like. Such things cannot be done. Whatever is suggested here can be considered as “pointers”, pointing toward the truth but never defining it. That work is yours. Reading these words is of little value if they are just taken as ideas, and is of no value if they are taken as the truth. If you are at peace with all that is present in your life, continue as you are. If you are not at peace but fear rocking the boat, look at that and let it go. The longtime habit is to be run by the past and fearful of the future. The only “truth” I would attempt to offer is that anything you think is true is not and that holding on to any belief will only bring you more pain and suffering. Truth is being brought to you each moment for that moment. Receive it and let it go. See where that leads you.  It is one thing to experience a feeling of guilt. It is a whole different matter to hold on to the thought that you are guilty. I suspect that if all you focus on is the now you will eventually experience unconditional love. However, if you deny any present feeling that doesn’t look like it is unconditional loving, you will hold on to pain and suffering. The universe presents you with a feeling of guilt. Do you hold on to that guilt as the truth of you? Do you deny that you are guilty? Admit you have the feeling and let it go without analysis. If it sticks around you could ask yourself if you are absolutely certain of its truth. Do you have a thought or a belief that seems to justify the emotion? Do you feel guilty because you think you have done something wrong? There is an enormous gulf between emotion and thought. The thought likely triggers the emotion. Is that thought actually true? Do your words and actions determine what happens to everyone else on the planet? Are you that powerful? Are others helpless in the face of your will? Perhaps you believe that your thoughts, words, and actions affect only a few and not all. In that case, who is running the switchboard? Who determines which people are affected by you and how? Are these other people helpless in the face of your power? So, you are feeling guilty but can you say for sure that you actually are guilty? Do you see the difference between a feeling in the now and truth?

Question every thought that enters your mind. You don’t ignore the feelings, but you don’t give them a special value either. Notice them. Be aware of the thoughts. It is all just what is there right now in this moment. It is not right or wrong, justifiable or unjustifiable. What is the gift behind it? If your feeling of guilt actually stimulates you to investigate the truth behind your emotion, what a service it has provided for you. If you were to deny your feelings, those investigations would not take place. They also would not happen if you wallow in the guilt, holding on to it in your certainty that you are at fault. The negative emotion is a signal to you that you believe something that isn’t true but is running your life. With physical pain it is much easier to see what is to be done. If you touch a hot stove, you quickly pull your hand away. With psychological pain the lines aren’t as clear. You may actually believe that the thought that is triggering the pain is a good thought; one you should hold onto. Old thoughts are useless in dealing with psychological pain. When you listen to them, your mind is too busy to let true wisdom come in. If the past truly helped you to decide what to do now, we should have ended war long ago. Culturally, we would take nothing personally. We would not be in competition with others, fighting over the scraps that we believe are never enough. The old ways have never worked. Your spiritual practice and beliefs have also failed you. They don’t help you when you most feel the need of being saved. Thoughts can only come from the past, but you live in the now. When the point comes where you are only accepting what comes to you in the quiet space of the now, not listening to old thoughts from the past, then you will act with the same certainty and decisiveness that you employ instantly when confronted with physical danger or pain. Awareness of what appears to you in the now is similar to what happens when you do the five-step process. It might support you to check that process out.

We call it the perfection of the now and a gift because you have asked Spirit to support you in awakening. Therefore, everything that comes into your now is there to support waking up. If you are listening to your old thoughts, you cannot open the gift. There needs to be a quiet that comes from letting go of the old thoughts and the accompanying feelings. In that calm space you can hear the guidance for the moment. Nothing is your responsibility. You are carrying a weight you don’t need to bear. Let go of past thoughts. Give up worries about the future. Everything is happening in perfection. All you need to do is to let it happen. Your feelings are there to let you know when you aren’t doing that. Pay attention and then let go and notice the next thing that comes. It is recommended that you reread this message several times. Your ego mind wants to accept the validity of your feelings and to hold on to them. It wants to convert them into ideas of yourself that you can believe in and use to justify your pain and suffering.

Enjoy it all…or don’t. It doesn’t matter.

Good Now

Sanhia/Spirit