What is the difference between a special and a holy relationship?

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One of the goals of most people, including those on a consciously chosen spiritual path, is to find that special relationship, that special person, that soul mate that completes you. My job today is to throw cold water on that dream. This topic, like many we discuss, could be covered in book length form, but we will narrow the focus to making a few observations.

Let’s start at a basic level. A pattern that tends to happen in relationships is that you are attracted to another person for certain qualities that they seem to have. Perhaps it is a physical attraction; you like the way they look. It might be their smile or there is an incredible sexual energy between the two of you. Maybe you are drawn to them intellectually; you like the way they think and you enjoy talking together. It may be common interests that draw you together – you share a love for music or the outdoors. Perhaps the connecting bond is of a more spiritual nature. In all likelihood, it is some combination of these different possibilities. What commonly happens is that the thing that initially attracted you eventually becomes an issue that you have difficulty dealing with. What you once loved now gets under your skin. Perhaps you then decide to leave and try another relationship. You go through the same cycle again and again. Or at some point you might decide to settle with the relationship you are in, rationalizing that overall, the pluses overrule the minuses. Maybe you have a lot of time invested in the relationship, and/or children, and/or shared property or a business. But these days, people are more likely to leave, choosing a relationship that fits them better.

Why does this pattern occur? Why don’t we just fall in live and live together happily ever after? Let’s focus on two reasons. First, as we mentioned, you are drawn to this other person because of certain qualities they possess. You want them to continue to be that way, to please you as they initially did. This is what we call conditional love – as opposed to loving them simply for whom they are, allowing their sense of identity and person-hood to evolve and change. Instead you love them for whom you perceive them to be, and if they perform in any other way you are upset and feel betrayed. Then you may begin to look around. The truth is that they never were who you thought they were. You projected upon the other person what you wanted to see. Conditional love is the first major roadblock to creating a successful relationship. The other person is not acting as you wish them to; this is not acceptable.

The second challenge is a little more subtle. You are looking for someone to make you whole. There may be thoughts such as “I can’t live without you”, or “You are my better half”, or “We complete each other”. You are thereby expressing the judgment that in order to be truly happy, you require someone else’s loving approval. We call that codependency. You depend on somebody else to be satisfied. You have a need for the other, which brings on an anger directed at them for that dependency. It is a place where you can’t win. Part of you wants to push the other away and the other part can’t live without them and wants to hold on. It sounds pretty hopeless and sad. How can one ever have a successful relationship?

The relationships we have been talking about are special relationships. You hold the other as being more special than all other people. It’s the flip side of you not being enough. You make them more than enough, so they must eventually let you down. You are not seeing yourself as divine. You cannot experience your divinity and, at the same time, have a need for a special relationship. Special relationships are built upon your fear of and separation from God. They stem from the belief that you have to be special in order for God to forgive you. Since God never judged you, no amount of specialness will do the trick. There is no need to earn forgiveness. God loves you unconditionally. However, the ego believes that if you can find somebody special who also believes that you are special, maybe God can find you special, too. If that specialness ceases to exist, what is God going to do to you?

The resolution of this quagmire is in seeking a holy relationship rather than a special one. A holy relationship is grounded in unconditional love. You have no expectations for the other person; you hold no judgments. No matter what your partner does, you love and accept them. This thought brings terror to the hearts of most people. It brings on fears of being a helpless victim. I want to remind you that your partner is your mirror. Whatever you judge in them, you judge in yourself. You can use your desire to control or change them to instead forgive and love yourself for whatever it is you perceive in them. Acknowledge that this is you. The ego wants to pretend it is not. The ego wants to point the finger so that you can stay special in God’s eye. The ego wants the other to be the one punished. Take responsibility. Acknowledge that this is you and forgive yourself and your partner.

Accept that your record in choosing partners has been less than stellar. Give the job of attracting your next partner to Spirit. Your holy partner will have one function and one function only. That is to be aligned with you in realizing personal divinity. It is possible for you to have a holy relationship where your partner does not share that intention, but it puts all the weight on your shoulder because your partner is expecting a special relationship. For you to act in the “right” way for them all of the time will be a major challenge for you. They will not be happy to find you choosing God over them.

I will tell you quite honestly that if your intention is to be absolutely true to yourself and to love yourself unconditionally in order to realize your divinity, you have a real challenge to accomplish that within any relationship. There are few models out there in how to behave in a holy relationship. The mass consciousness only shows you special relationships as the ideal. In fact, you may find this work easier to do when you are not in a relationship. It is said that when the student is ready the teacher will appear. I will modify that to say that when the person on the ascension path is ready, the partner will appear. Many of you have this thinking reversed. You seek the partner first, who will magically bring you to heaven, rather than first becoming what you wish to attract. When you get to the point where you realize you don’t need a partner to support your spiritual growth, you may attract one. Neediness will only attract a special relationship.

All that has been said up to this point is here to support you in being able to make the choice for a holy relationship. Once you have made that choice, you are really on your own. As mentioned, there are no models out there for how to proceed. You don’t know how to behave in a holy relationship. The only thing certain is that the ego will struggle to salvage something special out of it. All that you can do is to notice moment by moment where you have attachment to anything about your partner or the relationship and give it to Spirit. The holy relationship is fully guided by Spirit, as the special relationship is guided by the ego. To give yourself a fighting chance in your holy relationship, it is helpful if your partner and you have this as a shared, expressed intention and agreement between you. In this way you travel through the darkness together. You did not create this illusion and physical body to be experienced alone. You created other people so that you could project your guilt and fear on them. By yourself you could live in the illusion that none of that exists, but when you are in the presence of others, your judgments are inescapable. This allows you to see them and to take ownership of them. Your partner is always going to fulfill this function for you above all others.

When you intentionally take on the holy relationship, you learn to take 100% responsibility for everything that happens. If you allow yourself to be a victim to or in blame of your partner about anything, you are in illusion and denial. This is the challenge. It is also a great gift and a great opportunity. When two people choose to have a holy relationship, the ascension process is accelerated for each of them. It supports both in looking at the truth and in doing the required work. The irony and ecstasy of it all is that when you release the expectations of conditional love, you open up the possibility of enjoying full and complete happiness in the relationship. There is no limit to the upside of a holy relationship. The downside is no different than that of a special relationship. But, you have the momentum with you that comes from having chosen a holy relationship. Spirit is always there to support you. The perfect thing is always happening in your holy relationship to support your realization of your divinity. The only commitment that you can truly make in a holy relationship is to see divinity in your partner and in yourself in every moment, and to forgive and let go of anything that does not live up to that. That is God’s relationship with you always, except that there is no work involved for God. He always sees you as perfect.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

What do you mean when you say to give it to Spirit?

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People have a variety of reactions when I suggest they give something to Spirit. Some are upset at the thought and express that it feels like I want them to give their power away. Does that mean they don’t trust themselves? Others are willing but don’t know how to go about giving something to Spirit. Still others make the attempt but wonder how they can tell what Spirit’s response is. In reality, you have but two choices. You can give something to Spirit or you can give it to the ego. That’s it. You may think it is you alone making the decision, but if you haven’t given it to Spirit, “your decision” is really made by the ego.

You are not expected to be sure what it means to give it to Spirit or how what Spirit decides is different than what the ego might choose. It can be very confusing. The ego has been running your life, and your lives, for what feels like an eternity to you. The place to truly begin in meeting God and finding your divinity is to accept that you don’t know anything. Whatever you think you know is probably wrong. Even if you are right, you are still just guessing. And you probably won’t guess right the next time, nor have any certainty of knowing when you have made a lucky stab at truth. You won’t be able to take advantage of being right, because you will follow it up with so many wrong choices. If you knew how to realize your divinity you would have done it long ago. But here you are, in confusion, in pain. Even if you have managed to minimize some of that discomfort, you are still here, not experiencing your divinity. The question is, “How do you get there?” Your answer is (let’s see who has been paying attention), “Sanhia, I don’t know”. When you know that you don’t know, you know a lot. You know more than most people. If you also know that when you don’t know, you give it to Spirit — you know more than almost everyone.

When you give it to Spirit, you let go of it, whatever “it” is, whatever the confusion is, whatever the choice is, whatever the weakness is, whatever the pain is. You let go of it and give it to Spirit. You don’t think about it anymore. You stop worrying. If you notice yourself doing either of those two things, give it to Spirit. Again! It is no longer your responsibility. Keep giving it to Spirit until you have let go of it. Don’t tell Spirit when it has to give you an answer or how it should look. Have no expectation of the form or the means. You don’t know what it will look like. You don’t know what Spirit is going to do. Remember, you don’t know anything. All you do is trust. Whatever comes into your life next is Spirit’s response. What do you do if what comes into your life doesn’t look right, if you have a hard time receiving it? You give it to Spirit. That’s all you do. In between giving it to Spirit and feeling clear about the response, you remain a “happy idiot”. You don’t know anything, but you don’t care. Whether or not the guidance you receive makes happy sense to you, follow it. Do your best to trust. If that is hard to do — I’m waiting for the drum roll — give it to Spirit.  How much simpler can it be?

That’s what we mean by saying “Give it to Spirit”.  It is an acknowledgement that the ego is never going to get you there. Never! Its suggestions will be endless. Do this. Do that. Meditate every day. Change your diet. Give up everything you enjoy. It has all kinds of ideas for how to realize your ascension, all of them guaranteed not to work because the ego does not believe that such a goal is attainable. If they worked, the ego would be out of a job, in fact out of existence. This is a great challenge for you because you believe so strongly that it is your effort, your will power, your determination, your spiritual wisdom, your good deeds…something from you that will lift you out of this hell. But it isn’t and it won’t. None of it! All that you can do is give it up to Spirit. That is all you can do. Your mind is absolutely helpless in getting you out of the grasp of the ego. The greatest pronouncements of the ego appear to come from the “outside”. The whole world agrees that death is certain and unavoidable. Who are you to fly in the face of that? It doesn’t matter how close to unanimity those around you are. If the choice is not what your heart most desires, give it to Spirit. That is the job for your mind, to learn to give everything to Spirit. Let go of everything else.

When you give it Spirit there is always a response. When It gives you an answer it is always for the now. Spirit may suggest something different tomorrow. Ego tends to give rigid orders. It tells you that there is only one way to do something and you should always do it that way. This becomes an idea of what to do. That is why spiritual practices don’t work. Spiritual practices are not from Spirit. They are always ideas from the ego. Rituals don’t work either. The ego embeds “should-ism” and guilt for non-performance. Even those of you who are working with A Course in Miracles might consider this. Jesus has no expectation that you be loyal to the Course every day. If you are having difficulty doing the Course one day, give it to Spirit. The proof of this discipline is not in its regular repetition, but in how you take it to heart in every moment. If you are doing that, you will find yourself constantly giving everything to Spirit. Enjoy the Course or give it to Spirit.

The goal is for you not to carry anything around with you. You are empty, light, and free. If this is not your experience, give whatever is weighing you down to Spirit. Say, “Spirit please handle this for me. Thank you.” It’s like having your own personal assistant. You all have special needs, so give them to your personal “spiritual” assistant. And let go. Be free.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

Why is it hard to let go of victimhood?

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In the last message, we talked about recognizing your “old story” and choosing to let it go. But, you really have to want to let it go, and you don’t always want to do that. Sometimes, things have to get so bad that there isn’t anything else to do but to let the “old story” go. I am a believer in the idea that the least pain brings the greatest gain. You don’t have to really suffer to grow spiritually. If you are proactive and get out in front of things, you can choose to have your spiritual progress be as painless as possible. However, the part of you that we call the ego – the division that doesn’t believe in your divinity, thinks you are separate from God, and believes you are going to be punished for this separation – wants you to hold on to the victimization. It seems safer. Remember that the ego isn’t sane; it is absolutely crazy. It believes in insanity. And it draws immense pain and suffering to you.

I want to talk about how this operates for you. The ego says to fear punishment by God for being guilty. There is a hesitation to ever admit guilt. The ego tells you that to admit guilt is to invite the inevitable punishment. What you do then, is to project. Why is your life not working? Why are you upset today? Why are there problems? Because he did this. Because she did that. Because of the government. Because of my boss. Because of my parents. There is always a place to put blame. Unfortunately, blaming never helps. The ego claims it is buying time, that it is protecting you. But blaming never brings joy; it never brings peace or a sense of love. It creates feelings of helplessness. Blame leaves you always victim to the whims and the actions of others. Always. That is an illusion, because victimhood is a lie. It is not the truth. You are the creator. You are the divinity. Whatever exists comes from you, even if you are not aware of your part in the manifestation. As long as you pretend to not be responsible for your creations, they will continue to attack you. You will continue to fight them and to suffer.

I think that most of you can recognize yourself here. But some of you also play the game of ”Woe is me”. You tell yourself that you are so horrible and weak, and you go about accusing yourself instead of blaming others. However, if you look deeply, you will probably find many judgments of others mixed in with the self-blame. The ego thinks that by taking blame it might be able to avoid the wrath of God. But blaming yourself is the same thing as blaming others. It is an illusion; it is a lie. And, it never makes you feel better. It never heals. Remember that in the eyes of God there is no blame, no judgment, and no separation. God sees only your divine nature. For you to experience your divine nature, give up all blame and guilt, take full responsibility for everything in your life, and forgive yourself for every judgment you are holding about yourself and others. When you find the going to be tough, that is the place for the five-step process.

I began by saying that you are to be fully willing to give up your “old story”. There is a very good reason, according to the ego, for holding on to this blame/victim pattern. It manifests in a variety of ways, but they all have something in common. To the ego, it feels like there is a lot to lose by giving up victimhood. There is a comforting security blanket in being the helpless victim. This is something you can share with everyone around you. It is said that misery loves company. You go to your friends and you tell your pitiable story. ”Look what (fill in the name) did to me”. ”Guess what happened to me at (fill in the place)?”. ”You won’t believe what this jerk driver did”. It goes on and on, and your friend hugs you and says, ”Oh, poor you. I know how that feels”. You have this great connection and it feels good in the moment. It is a way to immediately sense love coming from others. They support you. This may be the only way that you know how to feel this love. The glow doesn’t last, however. The pain of being a victim remains. If you do decide to let go of your victimhood, there is a fear that others will abandon you. If you stop joining in the game of enabling victimhood, of supporting it in others and allowing others to support it in you, what is left in your relationships? Maybe others will grow angry and judgmental toward you? How will they react if you stop sharing your blame stories? What if you suggest to them that they give up their victimhood and claim their full power? ”Who the hell do you think you are?” they might say. There is a tremendous fear of taking your power. The ego judges power. It is terrified of it.

There is a similarity here with the experiences of those who choose to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. In that case, you want to give up an addiction to substances, as opposed to an addiction to blame. You may find that you will give up many of your friends and relationships, because they only share and support your addiction. You may choose to replace these people with others who are opting to take their own power. A great change may be required. Parents with younger children might have the fear that if they gave up their attachments, they might not be there for their kids. You might lose your marriage, your parents, or your job, along with your friends. You will become a social pariah. The ego does a wonderful job of spreading this kind of terror.

Ultimately it will come down to one question for you. Are you tired of this shit or not? Do you want to hold onto your victimhood and your unhappiness because you have the solace of fellow sufferers? Is that worth it? If the answer is ”yes”, you will continue with your “old story” until the answer becomes ”no”. If you want, now, to experience your divinity, feel your power, know only love, peace, and joy – you say “no” to the ego. You choose to let go of all judgment and blame, and refuse to have pain, suffering, and failure be part of your life anymore. Now, you are ready to let go of the “old stories”. You are willing to transform the fears you have been holding in your body into love. This will take some time, but the rewards will begin to be felt immediately. You don’t have to wait until life breaks you. You can be proactive. Choose to listen to the voice of love. You can experience the minimal amount of pain by choosing now. The more completely you commit yourself, the less pain you will feel. When you make this choice for yourself, ask for support from Spirit. It is there always. It always has been there. It has only been waiting for you to ask.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

What is a spiritual response to a world crisis?

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As you are working with your own spiritual healing, realizing your personal ascension, and perhaps using the five-step process, there often seems to be a stark contrast between the spiritual work you are doing and what seems to be the “reality” the world is presenting you with. One of the current “realities” is connected to the situation in Syria. This appears to be a complex political situation. The Mideast was destabilized by the Afghani and Iraqi wars instigated by the United States. This led to the formation of terrorist groups in the former Iraq. These groups spilled over the border into Syria. The long-standing dictatorship in Syria began to experience a civil war. Of the groups opposing the regime, ISIS emerged as the strongest. For those of you who are intent on rescuing to make the world a better place and to supporting the “good guys”, it is hard to find a champion. In addition, an extremely large number of Syrians have felt that there was no choice for them, in order to protect themselves and their families, but to flee the country and to seek refuge elsewhere. Many of them have fled to Europe, because there were few good options in the Middle East. That is the stage that has been set.

The situation tends to trigger extreme reactions for some people. One response is, “How can we take care of all of these people? We have our own problems. We don’t want to accept more Muslims in our country because their ways and beliefs are so different. We would have to take care of them, which is expensive, and they don’t want to follow our laws or respect our way of life.” On the other hand are those who say, “Oh, these poor people. We have to do everything that we can to provide them with a safe haven, to help them to get there, and to assist them in starting their new lives.” Oh, and another response for many people is one of hopelessness. The inner voices might say, “What can I do? This is all too big for me to make a difference. It just isn’t my problem.” All of these viewpoints come out of a place of fear. For those who do not want to take on the responsibility of helping there is the fear of lack and the fear of becoming victims to the refugees. For those who want to take care of the refugees there is often guilt, which is a manifestation of fear. It is the belief that you have behaved badly and that you will be punished if you don’t somehow make up for it. This all comes out of the illusion that there was a “wrong” and that it, therefore, can be corrected. Hopelessness is the fear that one is powerless. The ultimate fear is of death. You can also reread What am I to do with death? for help in dealing with this issue.

It is time for us all to take a deep breath and to collectively take a giant step backward. Let’s look at this whole situation in a different light. First of all, it is absolutely essential to remember that whatever you see in the world is a projection of your ego. If you see chaos, if you see victims, if you see people who don’t deserve help because they are responsible for their own troubles, this is a projection of your ego and how you perceive yourself in the world. The first step to take in healing what feels to be enormous world problems, and specifically the situation in Syria with the refugees, is to look and see where your fear is attached. Take responsibility for it and realize that this is about you, not about them. Looking at the situation with unconditional love, taking full responsibility for your own life, you might consider Syria and say, “My, this is an interesting opportunity for healing that they have chosen for themselves.” You would not see victims. You would see powerful children of God who have collectively chosen to create a situation that forces them into enormous change. Such change always leaves wide open the opportunity for healing. In your own life, your greatest opportunities for healing often come in the face of what appears to be adversity.

Deal with your own fear that is triggered, perhaps using the five-step process, and see this as an enormous spiritual gift for the Syrian people as well as the people of all the countries that are also deeply affected. Then you can look at these people freed of your judgment, guilt, and the feeling that you have to do something to help. Rather, you can see their divinity and the opportunity they have created. You can go into a place in your heart and see if you are guided to support this healing process in some way. Only from this place of unconditional love and acceptance can you be guided to an action that will truly support the spiritual process of another. Remember that the solution to a problem is never about changing others or changing the outside. It is always about taking responsibility, about looking at the situation and acknowledging, “This is me”. The solution lies with healing yourself. If you absolutely succeed in that, your personal ascension will change the world.

This is an enormous challenge. It is one thing to choose to be a monk and to go into solitude to work on your spiritual process. It is another thing to stay in your community, your family, and your work where you are dealing with the energies of others and are exposed to much of what is transpiring in the world. But, this is the challenge that you have chosen, to be in the world but not of it. You might wish to go back and read two messages that dealt with world problems for further support: How can I change the world? and How do I deal with my environmental fears?. You have created Syria for your own healing. This a great gift and an opportunity for you. We encourage you to make the most of it and to find that unconditional love within you. And to live there.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia 

How can I reduce stress in my life?

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When you don’t see perfection in everything that is happening around you, or when you don’t experience the divinity in yourself and others, you may think that you have to fix things. You often feel that the responsibility lies with you and a heavy weight descends upon your shoulders. It seems that you must deal with all of these challenges and with the ”idiots” surrounding you. It appears that you have to protect yourself from the latter, avoid them, or attempt to control them, so that they don’t ruin this great effort you are making to create perfection. It sounds like a tough job. I’m glad I don’t have to take that one on.

Your life becomes such a struggle that you lose sight of how total, constant, and unending the battle is. You try to reduce the amounts of stress you are aware of to a level that is bearable, but no matter how much you are able to alleviate situations, life remains a battle. This struggle is your creation. You are choosing to have hell on earth. No matter how much you let go of, the inferno remains. The questions is, ”Why are you creating hell on earth to begin with?” You can see divinity and perfection, or you can choose to fight. We have spent the past two messages focusing on the former, so let’s try working from another side this time. You don’t have to see the divinity in another, when they seem to act as your trigger. Nor do you have to see the perfection of what is happening, to give up your resistance. Just say NO to struggle. Decide to stop fighting. Let go of it. Decide that there is nothing that is so important that it requires straining.

If today were the last day you were going to be in this body, would you spend it in struggle and stress over little things? This is one acid test to see if struggle is involved in your day. Ease up on yourself. As you become aware that you are struggling, take a deep breath and relax. Go do something that does not feel like struggle, something that feels like fun, or joy, or even ecstasy. What would you truly rather be doing right now?

Buried deep in your consciousness is the belief that your very existence depends upon struggle, that if you don’t fight to survive you will simply go down – for the third time. And that’s it. Your whole life is defined by separation from divinity. Your brain-mind is full of reasons why you have stress. Things have to be done, it argues. This is a story of separation from the divine, a belief in your weakness. Argue for your limitations and they are yours. You are that powerful. The ego arguments for struggle are very rational to your brain-mind. There is no end of them. You will carry them to your grave. Or, you can just say NO. You can refuse to listen to them. You can change your mind. This might throw you into such terror that it will be best to do the five-step process. Eventually, you will be able to choose your passions over your guilt and fear with greater ease. The first step, as always, is to have the intention to give up the fight. Remember that what you are fighting against is always an illusion. It is never the truth.

There are two primary places where you can get stuck. One is the belief that the nature of life is simply that you have to struggle. You think you have no choice but to work at something you don’t like, that you are required to do all these things you don’t want to do merely to survive. If you want to do better than just subsist, it seems you have to strain even more. Look how much hassle is involved just to go have fun on a vacation. The other belief is that anytime somebody else is involved with what you are doing, there will be a battle. You anticipate working together as a challenge and relationships as hard work. That’s the story. It is a belief in struggle. You don’t have to do it anymore. The battle is totally within you. Nobody else can force you to fight. Every time that you give up a little piece of this resistance you realize a little more of what true joy can be like. If you absolutely give up control, you can sense your divine nature right here, right now.

You have experienced this. You have had moments when you were at peace and your brain-mind was at rest, not wrestling with any devils at all. You were enjoying what was there right then, feeling the unconditional love of the belly-mind. You feel that when you finish the second step of the process. But you have the story that it is not practical to stay there all of the time. You wonder how you could get anything done, how you could survive. On the other hand, when you believe that there is nothing but struggle, you begin to call for and welcome your death on a subtle level. Nobody wants to live forever if survival means constant stress. Let’s talk about what true responsibility is. You are responsible for choosing your reality. You are not responsible for taking whatever steps are necessary for making your reality happen. Spirit does that for you. Let it. There was an advertising program for an American busing company back in the 60’s. The image was a powerful, comfortable bus with a competent, professional driver. The voice-over said, ”Leave the driving to us.” The ad implied that you would enjoy the ride, have fun, relax, be safe and protected, and arrive well rested. In your mind, hear Spirit saying, “Leave the struggle to us.”

God Blesses You,

Sanhia 

Is there divinity in everyone?

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I would like to suggest a small procedure for each of you to practice in addition to the five-step process. As you go through your day and different people come into your awareness, attempt to see their divinity. Some people may present a larger challenge for you than others. You may find yourself having a judgment about a person for some reason. Remember to be aware that he or she is your mirror, and it is with yourself that you have the judgment. Then you can use the five-step process to work with that energy. But, you can also try to stay present and see that person as divine. Remind yourself that no matter what they are doing, what they have created, or what energy they are putting out – all is perfection. The truth of them is divine and whatever is happening has the purpose of helping you to realize that.

There is a habit of unconsciousness. Unconsciousness means not being aware of your divinity. It becomes a routine to go through your day and not think about your divinity. It can be a pattern, beyond that, to obsess with things that are diametrically opposed to the idea of divinity – things such as sadness, lack, unhappiness, fear, and so on. Seeing the divinity in others is simply a discipline to help you become conscious instead of unconscious. As you are going through your day and you become aware of someone, let’s say a stranger, you may react in a habitually protective manner. You are careful not to show yourself until you find out who this person is. You might feel threatened by them. Often you are looking at this being from a place of judgment. Do you like this individual or not? Is this somebody you can connect with? Is this human enlightened? What we are suggesting is a whole new way of observing a stranger. Instead of looking at them with eyes of judgment and fear, look at them with the eyes of unconditional love. Instead of looking at them from the brain-mind, look at them from the belly-mind. This doesn’t mean that you try to ignore or repress any uncomfortable feelings you get around this person. If you have such a reaction, you keep looking at this soul from your belly-mind and love them unconditionally. You accept them fully as they are. Your brain-mind has only one job now, and that is to say that this person is divine as you are divine. This being is a piece of God. This individual is an eternal immortal soul. Perhaps the person is unconscious of their divinity. Remind yourself of the truth, so that you can look upon this soul with the eyes of unconditional love and acceptance, seeing or at least looking for their divinity.

If what you are experiencing with this soul does not feel divine, your process is to let go of your brain-mind, because it doesn’t seem to be helping right now. Coming from your belly mind, send them unconditional love. Silently express this acceptance and seek the understanding that they are in your life to deliver an important message to you. Let go of the fear you have of their message and welcome it. Your process is to accept the other. This is like a walking meditation. See the perfection in everything and everyone you meet.

The process can be even more challenging when practiced with your friends and loved ones. Here you have a history of a pattern of judgments and ways of reacting. You already have a big story in which they play an assigned role. It can be harder to let go of your unconsciousness with those close to you than with your perceptions of a stranger. In fact, your judgments of strangers often are directly related to the way in which they remind you of somebody you know. Keep looking at your friend. See who they are and love that person unconditionally. Imagine what a joy it would be to realize that you are traveling around with divine friends, that your partner is divine and that your family members and coworkers are divine. What a difference that would make! What a supportive world you would have to live and play in.

This process of seeing the divinity of others is not limited to when they are in your physical presence. There are also the times when others come into your thinking or your brain-mind. Be conscious at these times, also. Are you being judgmental in your thoughts? Are you upset with them? Are you worried about them? Remind yourself of their divinity. This is a piece of God that has taken human form, just like you have. In the face of this divinity, how do you now look at their actions? The first thing, of course, is to affirm their divinity. Secondly, take responsibility for any difficulty you are experiencing, knowing that has to do with you and not with them. Finally, ask for support from your guides, angels, higher self, inner knowingness, and from Spirit to help you understand how and why this is divine. Find a way of seeing the perfection of what is transpiring.

Practice seeing that perfection and divinity in everyone you meet each day, friend or stranger. Where do you see the divinity in this individual? What do you appreciate about this being? In the discipline of doing that you will begin to see yourself in a conscious way. All of the time. When you see the perfection of what is happening, you stop taking others’ drama seriously. You won’t get drawn into their story of victimhood or lack of divinity. You may pay attention to it, but you know what it truly is. You may or may not share this awareness, based on how receptive the person is to hearing it, but your reaction no longer fuels their “old story”. Otherwise, there is nothing for you to do but to recognize the perfection and the divinity.

One of the beauties of looking for the divinity in others is that you can’t change their actions. With yourself, you have the illusion that there is something you should change. You believe that if you could just be different, you might experience your divinity. With others, you have no power to change them. All you can do is to love them as they are. What a gift that is. Seeing the divinity of others is a perfect complement to the five-step process, which is a way to accept yourself unconditionally. If you remember to practice acceptance with just one soul today, and perhaps with another tomorrow and each day thereafter, you will experience a profound movement. Why don’t you start with the next person you see or happen to think of? You are simply divine!

God Blesses You,

Sanhia 

What do you mean when you say I preplanned this life?

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Let’s start today by talking about the truth of who you are. You are divine. You are one with God. You are the creator of all that is in the physical realm. This cannot be stated too many times. When you crossed the threshold and moved into the physical vessel of this body that you have created for your earthly experience, you forgot who you are. You think that you are less than divine and go on to prove yourself right. Just because you don’t believe in or can’t accept your godliness, you don’t stop being divine. You simply create from this stepped down point of view. You generate the illusion of limits throughout your life.

Let’s take a step back across the threshold, to a point before you created this incarnation. You now have a greater awareness of your divinity. Having been through this cycle of birth and death many times, and knowing how forgetful you become when you get back into a body, you try to design things to wake you up. You want to make yourself aware of the truth of who you are while you are in this next body. You hope to ascend. We call this preplanning. This is where you, along with those souls who have decided to incarnate with you and play significant roles in your life, make agreements.

It is helpful for you to take to heart and understand that the preplanned future events may look like disasters to you. Things may happen in your life that you would never consciously choose, such as accidents, death, loss of a love, or material setbacks. When you look at these events from the point of view which has forgotten your divinity, you might think that you are a victim of a random – or worse – cruel world. Why is this happening to me? Is God punishing me? The answer is that you planned it this way, that you are the god you have been railing against. You hoped these events would shake up your life so you could perceive yourself differently and begin to recognize your divine nature.

If everything in your life worked out well, you would be fairly content most of the time. You would be okay. If your parents were good enough, if you were relatively smart and healthy, if you had decent physical coordination and were attractive to others, if people liked you and you had plenty of friends, and if you were satisfied with your partner – you would be okay. If you had healthy, intelligent children who didn’t give you too much hell, a talent and job that you mostly enjoyed and which brought you a comfortable income, life would be okay; but spiritually, you might not grow at all. Why rock the boat? There is nothing wrong with such a life unless it is your desire to experience your true essence, not just ”good enough”. If you want to experience divinity and the absolute truth of who you are, and use your infinite individualized creativity to affect this earth plane and others in it, ”good enough” is not good enough. That is not what you came to do. You preplanned events and relationships to guide you in the ascension direction you wanted to follow, knowing that you would forget this course once you got into a body.

Look at your life now and find the one, or perhaps two or three, traumatic events that cause you to say to yourself that in no way did you choose this. Take responsibility for those events as you do in the third step of the five-step process. State that you chose this story, not to punish yourself, but out of love. This is recognition of your intention. While it is important to choose your new stories and to create the life you desire, it is equally important to realize that every story you already have comes from an intention. If you deny that intention, you deny a whole side of your divinity. Take these ”worst” events to your heart one at a time and do the five-step process with them. Feel where the story is held in your body and fully experience the energy until the Spiritual Alchemy does its work. Sometimes with these big stories, the energy is so powerful it feels like it doesn’t want to let go. This is a place where it can help to dialogue with the energy. Welcome it into your body. Thank it for being there. Acknowledge that you asked it to come. Tell it that you know it has a gift or a message for you and express your willingness to receive and to act on that guidance.

If your intention is to realize your ascension and get there in the most direct manner possible, embracing these events that seem the most challenging is the quickest way to go. Look the event in the face; tell it, ”I chose you. Thank you for being here. If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be here asking to recognize my divinity.” When you can transform your greatest failure into your greatest success, anything is possible. And it is.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

How can I get the ying and yang energy in harmony within me?

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When most people think of the ”mind” they are referring to the thinking that comes out of the brain. This mind is the part of the human that directs energy and activity. The brain-mind, as we shall call it, is intricately connected with the ego. The ego is the part of you that thinks you are separate from God, that believes in all your stories, and that pretends you are a victim. Your ego is driven by fear rather than love. This does not mean that your brain-mind can only function from fear and can only connect with your ego, but that is its default mode. Your ego does not believe in your divinity or accept the reality of your eternal soul. Your brain-mind will work to validate your ego’s story unless it is retrained. Your brain-mind accepts a story in which you are weak and helpless. If there is a God, it believes you are inferior and at God’s mercy. Sometimes your brain-mind may reject the idea of God, but there is still no room for your divinity. Your “old story” tells how you need to be punished for your wrong doing and wrong thinking, whether that is by God or by the randomness of the universe. Most of the time that your brain-mind is operating, it is creating stories that your heart doesn’t desire. The best thing that most of you can do with your brain-mind in this ego state is to just turn it off, to figure out how to disconnect it. The five-step process has been developed to help you do that.

What many people are unaware of, or else often disregard, is that the human being has two minds. In addition to the brain-mind which does the thinking, there is what we will call the belly-mind. Your belly-mind is located in your lower abdomen. While your brain-mind is more associated with the masculine yang energy, your belly-mind is more linked with the feminine yin energy. It is your belly-mind that connects you with the earth and experiences the physical joys of being in a body. While your brain-mind picks up energy in the form of ideas or pictures, your belly-mind is more of a sense receiver. It picks up input from throughout your body as well as from other bodies. It collects information from your every cell. Your brain-mind is usually not in touch with the cells in your body. Its primary function is to receive clear light from your higher self and so it deals with the intellect and the realm of ideas. Your belly-mind is dealing with what is here and now.

Most people give their power to their brain-minds. Because the brain-mind is usually guided by fear, their lives are run by terror. People are also afraid of their belly-minds. The belly-mind is not guided by rationality; that is the realm of the brain-mind. The belly-mind has a more intuitive energy. It knows without knowing why. It knows without needing to know why. It just knows. Let’s go back to the five-step process. The first step is simply the recognition of what your brain-mind has gotten you into. Your “old story” is your fear driven belief. Your brain-mind wants to get rid of this story, but can’t because it really believes in it. In the second step, you set your thoughts, judgments, and rationalizations aside and simply surrender to the feelings you are carrying in your body. This is where your brain-mind is disengaged and your belly-mind takes over. This is where the real work is done, where Spiritual Alchemy takes place.

Let’s look more deeply at the second step. Your belly-mind pays attention to the feelings that are in your body. It watches them until your brain-mind fully disengages. Then the true nature of the energy can surface. Love is felt instead of fear. Peace descends where there was tension. Sometimes, your brain-mind is so terrified that it cannot disengage. It may be helpful in this case to have a dialogue with the energy being held in your body. This is more easily done if there is a third party, an outside brain-mind, that can ask the questions. Otherwise your brain-mind will often be unable to let go. A good place to begin the conversation is by welcoming the energy you feel in your body. Whether it is experienced as a physical pain or an emotional discomfort, you have created the energy and have invited it into your life. This energy is your friend. You are not a victim. You didn’t create this energy to hurt yourself. This was the best that you could do in the moment to get where you wished to go. The least that you can do is to make your guest welcome. Then it is time to ask the energy what gift it has brought for you. The answer to that question will only be heard by your belly-mind. Your brain-mind will either be unable to hear it or will be distrusting of the message if it can hear, so the process is one of slowly sedating your brain-mind until it feels safe enough to let go and let your belly-mind work with the energy. Your belly-mind has no fear of the body or its feelings. Your belly-mind has no fear, period.

Your belly-mind is very much connected to the feminine energy. It contains no judgment. It is one with whatever is there. It is a mind of unconditional love. As your belly-mind maintains a steady connection with the energy held in your body and your brain-mind slowly recedes into the background, the energy is perceived for what it truly has been all along. It is felt as love.

Your brain-mind is not a vestigial organ. Its job is to choose the story you really want. Your belly-mind does not choose stories. It loves unconditionally and connects fully with the physical world. When you are here in a body you can do anything that you want. How do you decide just what you are going to do? Deciding is the job of your brain-mind. But, if your brain-mind is ruled by fear, it is unable to hear your higher self clearly and chooses less than what you want. These two minds are to work together. If your brain-mind tries to operate alone, it will respond to fear. If your belly-mind were to work alone it would lack direction. Manifestation happens through the marriage of the two minds.

For millennia, the mass consciousness of the earth has believed that the brain-mind was superior and the belly-mind was inferior, if it was given any respect at all. Actually, it is your belly-mind that is to take the lead. This is not to say that your belly-mind is to dominate as your brain-mind has done. They are to be in perfect balance. The job of your belly-mind is to connect with the physical level of existence, in a harmonious loving manner. You are to love every aspect of your body simply because it is, as well as all of physical reality. Your belly-mind’s connection with the unconditional love of divinity allows your brain-mind to release its fear and to choose its stories out of love and passion. Thus, we come to the third and fourth steps. Third, your brain-mind takes full responsibility for what it has created, understanding its divinity and that it could be no other way. This taking of responsibility can only be made from love. Finally, your brain-mind is ready to choose where it wishes to go. It is now able to hear your higher self and to freely follow it.

The irony is that the brain that has the fear is the one that has to choose. Your brain-mind is interested in the truth. It wants the truth and is drawn to it, but is also terrified of it. Who wouldn’t want to live without fear in a world where you could create abundance and whatever else you wanted? Only a great fear could turn you away from such a truth. Your brain-mind needs its “mother” to hold it and whisper in its ear that it is safe in order to have the strength to choose the truth. Without the support of your belly-mind, your brain-mind will at best choose only a small part of its divine inheritance. It can seem easier to deny the possibility than to take a chance and have your hopes dashed. Your brain-mind may open up to spiritual possibilities but claim that others might be capable of achieving them but not you. ”I’m not strong enough. I’m not brave enough. I’m not good enough. I’m not pure enough”. The list goes on and on. You may fear for your sanity or for being persecuted as occurred during the witch trials.

Your brain-mind can be aware of these three things: 1. That you could choose anything.  2. That you have the power to choose.  3. That it’s up to you to make the choice. Your choice may not be made with certainty, but it will give your belly-mind the space to go to work. Otherwise your mind brain believes that the only thing holding itself and the planet together is its control. ”If I let go, everything is lost”. In terror, it will not surrender that control and life is lived in some degree of fear and lack.

My job is to tell you that you are in charge of your life and are fully capable of creating whatever you want. It will take some work, but your belly-mind is ready to support you unconditionally. Take the leap. Work with the five-step process. Experience your divinity.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

What can I do about my dis-ease or ailment?

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How are you feeling?  This is a common question that friends ask upon meeting each other. Your response might be, ”Good”, or you might go into detail with why you aren’t feeling well – perhaps giving out more information than was desired. What you are really doing, whether the answer is fully honest or not, is giving your friend a report on how you are doing spiritually. There is no difference between your spiritual health and your physical health, and this can be expanded to include mental and emotional well-being. They are absolutely connected. I want to look at three categories of dis-ease today. The first group consists of those things you chose to bring in with you. The second includes the dis-eases that are temporary and of short duration. The final collection consists of the disorders that are labeled by the medical community as possibly being terminal.

Some of you in your pre-life planning chose to come into this incarnation with certain vulnerabilities or handicaps, whether they be physical, mental, or emotional. It might be a challenge with vision, hearing, speech, or mobility. There may be a congenital health issue, autism, dyslexia, or myriad other conditions. It is important to recognize that those were preplanned conditions. Nobody comes in as a victim to blind luck or accident. Whatever might look like fate is simply the way the angels have carried out the plan that you made. The reason for this planning probably had to do with your soul’s desire for spiritual growth and ascension in this incarnation. Sometimes the soul agreed to the specific handicap as a way to support others in their growth. However, since you are reading this now it is clear, if you have such a condition, that you hoped to use the disability to support the possibility of your ascension in this lifetime.

All challenges change your focus in life. Severe challenges cause you to go more deeply within to understand and to work with the ”realities” that seem to be present. Your disability comes from the loving heart of your soul to support you in realizing the absolute truth of who you are. Some of you chose in your pre-life planning to acquire the disability at a certain point later in your life from something that appears to be outside of you. This could come from an injury, from a dis-ease, or from a gradual loss of a sense or mental ability. There is no difference between the natal and the later-in-life situations. In each case, it is seen as something that is chronic and irreversible. Know that this disability is not random; you are not a victim. There is a meaning to this, and, on a deep level the god in you has chosen this out of love. It is important to go to the place of loving acceptance of the disability. You welcome it and thank it for being there. You bless it. You communicate with it. You ask it what gift it has brought with it and you open to receive that present. Know that your disability is always the bearer of an enormous gift. Know that it is absolutely necessary to receive it in gratitude and to open up the gift before the disability can be released. To try to transform the disability without fully accepting it leaves you in a place of victimhood. The god in you has invited it in, but you are refusing to receive it. Welcome it in and love it.

Acute situations are those that are perceived to be temporary, though they may be recurring. You have a headache or a cold. You stub your toe or break your arm. You know that you will get over it, but your story may believe that it will happen over and over in the future, perhaps even in recognizable patterns. Acute situations are usually created while you are in the body, rather than being preplanned, though recurrent, disabling situations, such as asthma, PMS, or migraines may have been preplanned. Many of you have no chronic situations, but suffer occasionally or more often from different maladies. These are chosen on a subconscious level, and they are reactions to what is going on in your life right now. If you are carrying around fear energy in your body, you will have a physical response. Fear and dis-ease are directly related, and they carry a message just for you. It may be as simple, for example, as that there are some foods that do not support your spiritual growth, and so your body has a negative reaction. Your heart wants you to eat the foods that support your spiritual development. If you ignore the message, your body reacts until you pay attention and alter your diet.

Another reason for dis-ease may be that you are putting too much stress on yourself. Your heart wants to be freer and less busy. It wants to have more fun, so the body reacts and you get headaches, a cold, or the flu. You feel there is so much work for you to do that you can’t rest for a moment. Then you get sick, have to rest, and the world does fine without you. And you survive. Why do you create all this stress? It is your mind saying that you don’t deserve to do what you want to do, what you came here to do. Dis-ease is about not loving yourself. If these are new ideas to you, you can explore a wonderful booklet by Louise L. Hay called Heal Your Body. It suggests underlying causes for the physical problems you are experiencing and offers suggestions for new stories.

For everyone, though, I suggest that you use the five-step process to deal with any dis-ease you may be feeling. In the first step, simply describe the physical problem or the discomfort in your body. The second step is straightforward, too. You know where you are feeling discomfort in your body. Shut your mind off and go deep into the feeling. It can be scary. There can be the feeling that the pain is too great, you are afraid to surrender to it. Your job, however, is to do just that, to fully go into it and look it in the face. When you have transformed this energy, go to the third step and take full responsibility. Acknowledge that it was out of love for yourself and your desire for spiritual growth that you attracted this dis-ease. You move on to the fourth step and choose your new story. Repeat this (the fifth step) whenever the discomfort returns.

The third category is a very interesting one. Life threatening illnesses or accidents can be preplanned, chosen later, or even be a combination of the two. This is where you draw to yourself a situation that the medical profession tells you (or at least believes) could be terminal. The situation is not only chronic but it appears that it might even kill you. Now, your tremendous fear of death is triggered. You may have chronic pain involved. Your whole life is likely turned upside down. Perhaps it is impossible for you to do your work; there may be a great number of medical procedures; you may experience financial strains on top of everything else. Again, you can do the five-step process. In the second step, in addition to paying attention to the discomfort there will also be times to communicate with your dis-ease. There is a question to look at in a potentially terminal situation. Part of you is looking at leaving. Why? Do you wish to stay or to leave? There is no right or wrong answer, but there is your answer. Is it fear about life that causes you to want to leave this body? What old stories do you have? You can have a dialogue with this dis-ease. You can welcome it. You can find out what gift it is bringing to you. You can express your gratitude for your dis-ease. You may have a long list of reasons for why you are ready to pull the plug on this life.

Notice that you created a slow process rather than a sudden event. You are giving yourself time to realize what it is that would make your life worth staying for; you have time for creating a new story. Again, until you choose to take responsibility for your dis-ease, you will suffer under the illusion that you are a victim and that you really want to live. Likely the desire to live is really a fear of death. All death is suicide, but most suicides are unconsciously chosen. When you are dealing with a potentially terminal situation you will use step five over and over. You will use it every time that pain or fear arise. The first time around you will likely deal only with the discomfort in the body. Eventually you will realize that it is time to look at what your pain has to say to you. There may be many issues, and it might take repeated cycles through the process to deal with it all. This may take a bit of time and work, but what more pressing things do you have to do?

If you are consciously on a spiritual path, everything that happens in your life is of spiritual importance. It helps to remember that the bottom line is always love. Love yourself. Love your dis-ease. Love the knowledge that you are the power in your life and that you can always choose to claim that power. Love the fact that you will have as many chances as it may take. Love yourself, no matter what should happen.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

How does manifestation take place?

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You planned this incarnation. You designed your physical type and your gender. You arranged to connect with other souls and to play significant roles in each other’s lives. You came in with the goal of completion. When I say completion, I mean that you plotted things with the intention that you would come into a full conscious awareness of the truth of who you are, the truth of your divinity. This was your greatest hope for this lifetime. You would not be reading this now, were that not your intent. You set things up for yourself as you came into this incarnation so that ascension was a distinct possibility. You still have absolute freedom of choice and you can always decide differently, yet your choices have led you to be reading this now. You have had lifetimes where you didn’t choose the ascension path. In still other lifetimes, you have been conscious of this desire to experience your divinity, but have thought that you couldn’t do it, that you would come back and try again. You may choose such a course again this time and there is no problem with that.

The only thing that is absolutely inevitable is that one day or another, in one body or another, you will have the experience of your divinity. It is the truth of who you are, and you can only hide from that truth for so long. Within many of you is a desire that wants this experience right now, but doesn’t believe that it can happen while in this body. You might try to travel outside of your body. Maybe you don’t want to wake up in the morning. In the physical world, you may have a sense of hopelessness, a sense of futility, of frustration. It could feel like there is nothing but pain and discomfort from being in the physical body – even though it has its moments of pleasure, its moments of bliss. You have felt that way before. That is your story. What I am offering to you – although it is not mine to give, it is yours to take – is the possibility of letting go of that story, forever, and replacing it with the story you wish to have. It is not my job to write your story. You can write the story of what you wish to accomplish while in this physical body.

To help you understand more about why you are able to choose your own story, let’s talk about how manifestation takes place on the physical plane. The vibration that deals with manifestation is that of the number eight. If you look at the shape of the 8, it can explain to you everything about manifestation. It is said about the 8, ”As above, so below” – as it is in the spiritual, so it is in the physical. When you take the 8 and turn it on its side, it is the symbol for infinity. The only limit that exists on the flow of created manifestation is the one you choose to place there, no other. You have been working with the laws of manifestation as long as you have been in bodies. When you work with the laws unconsciously, you create unconsciously. When that happens, you are usually not pleased with the result. It never looks like what you would consciously choose. Therefore, you make the erroneous assumption that you are powerless, that you have no effect or influence over what is happening. If you imagine the creative force that brought everything that is into being, can you visualize a limit to what that energy can create? The truth of you and who you are is that each of you is created in the likeness of the original creative force. You are infinite, immortal, and have no limits as your creator is infinite. You are a piece of the whole. You are a being of unconditional love and unlimited creativity. You are innocent and loved unconditionally by the creator. It is difficult for you to take full responsibility for your life and to assume your full power if you are carrying guilt and judgment.

This is how manifestation (visualize the 8) takes place. You have the spiritual plane at the top of any symbol and the physical plane at the bottom. The spiritual plane you could call your soul, your higher self, or the immortal part of you. The physical plane represents your body and the material earth, that which in truth is not real, is not immortal. You create there in the now for whatever purposes you might have. If the physical should disappear, the spiritual remains. What is in the physical is what you are pulling from the spiritual. You can pull anything out you want. In the middle where the two circles join, or where the flow crosses itself, are the mental and emotional planes of existence. The mental plane decides what you are going to create. As you are telling your story, whatever it may be, that’s what your mental plane has decided to pull out of the spiritual. Whatever limitations you feel imposing themselves on you, that is your story. That is created by the mind.

Some of you have worked with the idea of positive thinking, where you decide to change your mind. How did that work for you? Maybe there were some short-term successes, but it leaves out half of the equation. Thinking is the masculine side of the manifestation process, but by itself it ignores the feminine side. The feminine side is the emotional plane. There are only two emotions. One is called love and the other fear. Love has one name and fear a thousand. Anything that is not unconditional love is fear. When you are thinking positively, but your heart is holding fear, you create from the fear. Your emotion powers your thought into reality. You can only create what you desire into manifestation through love. Fear only brings what you don’t want. It is crucial to get yourself into a place of unconditional love before you can successfully focus on your new story.

Your first step in creating your new story is to find your way or ways to get yourself into a place of unconditional love. Some of you can do this through meditation. However you manage to find that sweet spot, do it before you choose your new story or you will be spinning your wheels. The only thing that is real in the universe is love. Fear and everything else is an illusion. When your mind chooses with a heart filled with love, that is what goes into the spiritual realm and manifests in the physical. It is not your job to make it happen in the physical. You don’t have to figure out how you are going to create this. Your job is to simply give the order to Spirit, saying that this is what you choose to manifest. Then you get out of the way and let it happen. The five-step process, or the process of Spiritual Alchemy, is an excellent way to find that place of unconditional love so that you can choose your new story and bring it into manifestation. It is an easy process, but it requires commitment and persistence. You probably will not change your entire story in one sitting. But, maybe that’s my story and one that you wish to change. Good luck.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia