How do violence and guilt relate to sexuality?

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In the last message we spoke of spirituality and sexuality. There are two issues dealing with this subject that we would like to go into today. The first has to do with the coincidence of sexuality and violence. The second concerns undesired pregnancies. There is a connection between the two issues, but we will begin by looking at them separately. Deep within many of you there is a belief that sexual energy is not divine. To partake in sexuality is therefore to separate yourself from God, and, therefore, comes punishment somewhere down the line.

Violence is not an expression of sexuality. Sexuality is an energy that comes from the sharing of love. We wish to disconnect violence and sex in your brain-mind. Rape is violence; it is not sexual. It comes out of fear, not love. Love never requires another to do something that isn’t freely chosen. Fear can draw one to violate the freedom of another, or at least to attempt to, whether that violation is verbal, physical, or spiritual. Verbal and physical abuse are well understood. Spiritual abuse includes curses and spells, as well as the use of spiritual powers to encourage another to behave in a sexual way with you. As we have mentioned before, the development of spiritual powers is not always connected with love and spiritual maturity.

Let us again draw a line in the sand and say that when we are talking about rape or sexual violence we are not talking about sexuality. However, for many of you, particularly those who have chosen to incarnate in a feminine body, there is an emotional difficulty in separating these two – particularly if you have created the experience of apparent victimhood to sexual assault. Then you might find it difficult to have a sexual experience based in love, because the fear energy is still strongly held in your body. We want to remind you that when we talk about creating situations, it is never a statement of blame. If you are holding guilt or blame for the situation that happened, it is not our intention to support that. We wish to remind you of the absolute truth that you are the divine power in your life and that nothing could possibly happen without your permission. This does not mean that your intention or permission was consciously granted to the sexual violence that you have experienced or that you have fear of. You may wish to use the five-step process to feel this fear of sexual violence in your body, go into it and embrace this terror until it transforms to love; then visualize a new reality for yourself. This allows you to let go of victimhood and take your true power.

For some of you, your identification with victimhood is so much a part of who you believe yourself to be that you are unaware of having it. Here are some signs to look for. Do you feel something holding you back from sexual activity, aside from lack of interest in a particular possible partner? Do you find yourself having strong emotional reactions when watching films or television shows (or in reading novels or following true life stories) portraying sexual violence? Do you find yourself getting angry at the perpetrator or in judgment of the victim? “How could they let that happen?” ” How could they be so stupid?” If you do, your belief in your victimhood is active. If you have not created an ongoing fulfilling sexual relationship in your life, the fear energy is probably present, and likely not just from this incarnation but from many lifetimes. This is a major reason why lasting, loving relationships are not created. For others, the guilt creates a chain of violent partners.

Now let’s look at the male side of the equation. Here it is more likely that you have guilt about sexuality because you believe it is wrong. That begs the question for you, ”What woman would want to do that?” So, you either deny yourself sex or feel you have to trick or force the woman into the sexual experience. Tricking might mean making promises that you don’t intend to honor. Force, of course, means rape – which could mean emotional or mental force, as well as physical. All of this emerges out of the belief that you don’t deserve to have physical intimacy, so the only way to have it is through force. “What woman would want to have sex with you?” None, so you need to use some form of coercion. “And what kind of woman is going to have sex with you?” Only an evil woman, separated from God and spirituality would do that nasty thing with you. Now your use of force is somewhat justified. But what are your prospects for a lasting, supportive, loving committed relationship? “How can you commit to a relationship with a woman that you don’t respect?” If you do make love, you will be punished. Perhaps, she will control you and ruin your life in return for sex. Or, you can use the five-step process. For the woman, there may be the belief that there must be a relationship in order to have financial security. Sex can be seen as a price that has to be paid in order to have that support. Quite a story isn’t it! The good news is that you are both free. You don’t have to act out this story anymore. You can just let it go.

Before we leave for today, let’s talk about the subject of unwanted pregnancy, which affects both of you – although the woman has a larger role. For the man, the fear is likely to be that the pregnancy is going to rope you into the relationship and you may have to make a commitment. Even if there is already a child or two, the noose is being tightened and the responsibilities and restrictions are increasing. Unwanted pregnancy is the consequence you knew was coming from having sex. The extreme in the mass consciousness tells you that the only excuse for sex is reproduction and that you must live with your sinful choices and have the baby. Even if those religious structures don’t exist for you, it is likely that you believe that you have no control over pregnancy, short of abstinence. Most forms of artificial birth control carry with them some danger from side effects. Guilt is there with or without religion. The purest form of birth control is to love yourself unconditionally and to process all of your sexual guilt through the five-step process. Choose conception consciously. This is a big step. In the meantime, take prudent precautions until you are clear that you have released the fear and judgment from your body. Affirmations alone will not do that. Don’t come back to me and say, “Sanhia, you told me I wouldn’t get pregnant unless I wanted to”.  If you do create an undesired pregnancy, there is no right or wrong choice. You will learn and grow from either. The potential child is an immortal soul (and old buddy) who has agreed to play this role for you. Either way, that soul will continue.

The five-step process is a very powerful and effective tool. But, that does not mean that it is necessarily easy for an individual to succeed at it the first time she tries. Some of you have more innate skill in doing the process by yourself. For many, it may be helpful for somebody to guide you, somebody in whom you have confidence. You may also use the recording found on the website. It all comes down to you and to your intention. The tools are there to use. If you prefer the support of another, create that. Find a partner and support each other. There is always a way. It is the strength of your intention that makes the difference. We love you. We wish you to have a wonderful experience in physicality and to free yourself from all the fears of sexuality so that you may enjoy it ecstatically.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

Are you afraid of the dark?

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For those of you in the northern hemisphere, when you have passed the darkest day of the year and have several months of winter weather to look forward to, do you dislike these months? Do you have an aversion to the shorter days, the colder temperatures, the snow or cold rain? Are you already looking forward to spring? I could spend this time speaking of being present, loving what is in front of you, and making the most of each day. Those are all ascension focused points of view, but there is something else I would like to zero in on today. It is a good time to examine your fear and judgment of the dark.

Let’s start with the fear of the dark. Do you experience anxiety being in dark places? Are you fearful walking down a dark street or road by yourself? And what about being in the woods alone at night? What is this fear of darkness all about? Your childhood was filled with horror stories that mostly took place after dark. You don’t worry about monsters under your bed in the middle of the afternoon. To look at what the dark represents, in fact, what it actually is – look at the dualism that makes material existence possible. The first division in the biblical creation story was between the light and the dark. The light was declared as good, so where does that leave the dark? Light represents the masculine, idealistic, mental energy. The dark represents the feminine, realistic, emotional energy. The fear of the dark is the judgment you have for your physical-ness, and for feminine energy. Keep in mind that you all contain both feminine and masculine energy in some balance.

How prevalent is the vilification of the dark in today’s mythology? Think of Star Wars, Batman, and The Lord of the Rings. Everyone is always fighting the dark forces, sometimes sparring with their own inner darkness. The yin-yang symbol is not one of combat but of the intertwining and juxtaposition of energies. You did not create your bodies in order to fear them, but rather to learn to love them unconditionally as you use them to realize your ascension. Ascension does not occur by choosing the light over the dark. Such a choice leaves you hanging on the wheel of reincarnation. If you choose to love the light and to hate the dark, earth becomes your personal hell. Then, you can’t wait for the opportunity to leave your body. Leave if you wish. You don’t have to stay in the physical. But, if you choose to stay, why not love your visit? Why not embrace the dark along with the light? You can start this winter. Heal your fear of the dark, of the physical, of the feminine. Give up your judgment of darkness.

The first thing you might try doing is to use the five-step process. This is a powerful and effective way to change your story; and your fear of the dark side is a major part of your story. If you are having any difficulty leading yourself through the five steps, perhaps you can find a trusted friend with whom you can take turns being the guide, so that you can each have a time to simply relax and be led. You can also listen to the recording. This is big. This touches on all relationship issues, especially those involving your sexuality. It is not possible to maintain a deep physical relationship without loving the body. This impacts all health issues and all money/survival concerns. Dis-ease comes out of fear or out of hatred of the physical body. If you dislike the physical, you may have difficulty manifesting your material support. This connects with all mental health issues, especially depression, which becomes a bigger issue for many of you at this time of the year. It is not possible for you to unconditionally love yourself if you fear and judge half of who you are. Spend more time in the dark. Don’t rush to fill all your evenings with lights and electronic distractions. Try a little candlelight, or a fire and meditation, a book, or quiet conversation. Try taking some walks in the dark.

It is time to look straight into the dark. Face your fears. See the dark for what it is: a perfect part of the universal, unconditionally loving creator and creation. Notice that all the ascension stories include the ”dark night”, where the prophet has to confront his deepest fears. There is no path around it. The only way out is straight through the heart of darkness. There is only love waiting there. Everything else is illusion. Darkness is love just as light is love. Have your own private marriage ceremony between them this winter. You deserve love all of the time. May the darkness be with you.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

How do my relationships fit into my ascension path?

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Let’s talk some more about choosing your story. If the story you choose is fully grounded in unconditional love, it will unfold as you have visualized it. If your story is based upon fear, you will not create what you want. Let’s say that you are choosing a life full of loving relationships. Maybe it is time for a reality check. Is fear involved in your relationships? Are you concerned that the special people in your life – your partner, your children, your parents, your close friends, or your teachers – might abandon you and leave you alone, either by dying or by making other life choices? Do you want to hold on to them? Do you want the relationships to remain just as they are now? If your answer to any of these questions is yes, you are being controlled by fear rather than coming from love. We all know where that scenario heads. It’s not a pretty picture. To believe that you can’t live without someone is to believe something that is not true. Your divinity does not need anything to be complete; when you hold on to this fear and yet are asking for ascension, something has to give. Your story cannot contain fear without you losing power over it. There’s a good chance that one of your relationships will change form on you through abandonment, death, or other interventions. If your story is based on fear, you will not create peace of mind or ascension. You will not create what you want.

“Wait a minute Sanhia! Are you saying that I have to let go of my relationships with the people I love in order to ascend?” No, I am not saying that. I am saying that you must give up your attachment to those relationships if you desire to know true happiness and wish to ascend. If your story includes those loving relationships, keep them in your life. All you need to let go of is the neediness and the dependency. Your happiness is not dependent on anybody else’s choices, beliefs, or actions. Your story is not reliant on any other individual’s story. Your relationships are immortal. Give up your attachment to souls staying with you in their bodies. Release them fully. You will enjoy the time with them if they choose to stay with you, or you will enjoy an eternal relationship with them in another form if they choose to leave. If you want your relationships to remain just as they are now, that is based on the fear that you are only your body. When you love another unconditionally, you free them to follow their heart and their path. Release them fully.

“Wait another minute Sanhia! Does this mean I can’t have any long-lasting relationships if I want to ascend?” No, you can have the relationships; you just don’t get to decide who they will be with. For your story to work for you it cannot compel anybody else into a certain action or activity. But, it can compel a certain energy to fill that space without naming it. For example: if in your story, you always want to have a partner to share your experiences with, a partner that you feel absolutely aligned with, that doesn’t bind any specific soul to you. You are giving absolute freedom to the one who is able to fill that space. If one chooses to leave, there will always be another who will choose to replace that energy. Your story will always create a perfect partner, not out of neediness and fear, but out of the joy of sharing your love. There will be no neediness compelling those presently in your life to remain in place. There is no pressure for them to stay loyal to you. Only your shared love causes you to choose to be together. If one of you should choose to move on for any reason, Spirit will effortlessly create a continuance of that energy in your life through another vehicle.

No matter what happens, you have the story you desire. As you let go of your attachments to specific relationships, you will begin to experience the immortality of those connections. Your relationships will not become old, or stuck in undesirable patterns, because everyone will be able to change and evolve without having to leave the relationship. When relationships are based on freedom and unconditional love, they are approaching the absolute truth of your mutual divinities. Love fully and completely. Love without measure or expectation. Above all, love yourself. Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

Is it possible to ascend and be in a relationship?

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Relationships are central to the healing process. Notice that when you created planet earth as the set for your personal movie, you filled it with many characters. You did not choose to heal alone. Each other person acts as a mirror to you, reflecting back clearly who you are – or at least who you feel yourself to be. When you love something about another, you love that same quality in yourself. When you are judging another, it is over something that you judge yourself for. Ascension is that place where you unconditionally love yourself and others, having no judgment, seeing only divinity. It is easy to hide your feelings from yourself, but difficult to mask your reactions to others. When you recognize this truth, you welcome all experiences with all people, knowing that being triggered by the words or actions of another is a gift that can help lead you to the truth. If you are willing to fully accept the experience and the feelings, take full responsibility for them, and choose to move through the fear – you will find love and peace.

The committed love relationship can be central to this process. This is where you choose to be with another from whom you can see a great amount of love reflected. You may choose to live with each other or simply to be in regular close contact. Sexuality is usually a part of this relationship. What makes the committed love relationship most powerful is when both partners have made a clear intention to themselves, to Spirit, and to each other to use the relationship for ascension. We will call this an ascension relationship. Such a relationship provides a ”home” energy that is safe and nurturing to help empower you to see with unconditional love your more challenging mirrors in the other parts of your life.

In an ascension relationship you take full responsibility for everything that happens. You do not hold your partner responsible for anything that takes place. You do not take personally what your partner says or does. When you feel yourself challenged by judgments, blame, fear, or guilt you talk about these things with your partner in a spirit of love, asking for support (or giving support if your partner should be the one coming to you). An ascension relationship is not chosen to fulfill a need or a lack, but to accelerate the process for two people who have already chosen love over fear, who have already committed to realizing their divine nature. It is a relationship that sprouts from the desire to love the other unconditionally and to be of service to the partner. Of course, the love is returned over and over, but to seek another in order to feel loved will not result in an ascension relationship because your partner will have to respond in certain ways in order for you to feel fulfilled.  This is conditional love, and you can be sure that it will not lead to ascension.

If your partner is not in conscious agreement, you can still use the relationship for your ascension, but it is a slower and more difficult process. You love unconditionally and have no expectations of your partner. They probably won’t be there to support you when your stuff comes up, so you take responsibility for doing that yourself. It can be easier to be alone, than to try to heal through such a relationship. You may also find that healing through an ascension relationship has become too hard. You may simply have evolved in different ways. It is always alright to leave any relationship. Trust your heart. Your commitment is to yourself first, to your passion, and to Spirit. The commitment to your partner comes next.

Remember your most important relationship is with yourself. Love yourself unconditionally. You deserve everything. You deserve love. You deserve your perfect partner. You deserve ascension. It is your birthright to be free from fear and limitations. I love you.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

What about the planetary ascension of 2012?

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We were waiting for 2012 and the advent of planetary ascension for a long time, but now it has come and gone. Some of you had been consciously participating in this momentous transition since the Harmonic Convergence. A few of you were with me on August 15, 1987 in the hill country of Texas for that event, welcoming in this transition time. Others of you have joined the party somewhere between then and now. As Jesus expressed in his parable about the vineyard workers, it makes no difference when you joined in, the same reward is offered to each. The reward is ascension. The only price that is asked is that you give up all the illusions of who you are, and become willing to accept only the truth. This requires, sooner or later, that you surrender every other illusion about where your identity and your security lie. Money, career, relationships, good works, spiritual techniques – none of these will lead you to ascension. All of them can impede your progress. Even that is misleading because there is nowhere to go. The truth of you is right here, right now.

Now is the time to realize it. This is the period you all incarnated for. You were all waiting in line to be here. Keep breathing, deep abdominal breathing. Look at each aspect of your existence. Ask if it represents the truth of who you are. If it doesn’t, let go of your attachment to it. Settle for nothing less than the truth. This is the transition point, the one prophesied by the ancients. It is the time of the “hundredth monkey”. The planetary consciousness is here to help you along. Let go of the “news”. The mass media is not designed to be your guide. Shut off the television. Put down the newspaper. Don’t surround yourself with the nabobs of negativity. Get rid of the background noise of commercialism. Ascension is not for sale. If your friends are bringing you down, spend your time alone. If you are confronted by your fears, welcome them in. Open up to them. Surrender to them. Listen to them. This is the time. I am here with each one of you. It is now.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

What is the first step toward realizing my ascension?

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How many of you have made a clear intention for ascension? Nothing happens in the universe until you ask for it. Ask and it shall be given. Once you have stated your intention to Spirit (guides, God, the universe, or whatever name you wish to give) nothing can stop it from happening. Nothing can stand between you and your intention but time. And time, as we all know, is an illusion.

You have other desires, in addition to your wish for ascension. These goals could be identified as higher or lower desires. This does not indicate a judgment, it is simply a question of whether the desire is connected to the truth of who you are or to enjoying your experience in a body. Higher desires might be connected to your purpose or to relationships or to healing. Lower desires might have to do with where you live, what you wear, what food you eat, or which experiences you wish to have. Have you given intention for them? I probably don’t need to remind you not to ask for things that might bring harm or loss to others; not because there is any judgment about doing that, but because what you project on another, you also project on yourself. It all passes through you first. You will always receive the things that support you in the highest way toward knowing the truth about yourself, of realizing your divinity.

It is not necessary to ask over and over for the same thing. Once is sufficient.  Once is all it takes to put things into motion. Spirit will not act, however, without your permission. This is the planet of free will. Nothing has the power to overcome your will without your expressed permission. You must start the ball rolling. If you have already done that, it is time to trust.  Know that your answer is coming to you. Look for it in everything that comes your way today, and it is always today. Your answer may not come wrapped the way you are expecting. Be willing to be surprised. Be willing to be overwhelmed with the enormity of your gift. You might as well start giving thanks right away.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

Do I deserve to have my desires fulfilled?

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We have spoken about passion. Many questions have come from you on this topic, so we will take another leap into it. Some of you in your spiritual training have learned that suffering is the result of desires. Let’s begin there. I would like to classify desires into two categories which could be called “lower” desires and “higher” desires. The term “lower” is not intended to express judgment, but to merely be descriptive. “Lower” desires are pleasing to the senses and have a more immediate pull on the heart. These might include (but are certainly not limited to) enjoying food and beautiful scenery, listening to music, dancing, drawing, sculpting, walking, having sex, talking, and being with friends. “Higher” desires are often connected with Right Livelihood, the gifts you have to offer to others, your purpose, and ascension.

In those times when you feel blocked off from an awareness of what your “higher” desires are or of the possibility of ever fulfilling them, your “lower” desires exist to help open the doors to trusting the “higher” ones. The bottom line in being able to achieve any aspiration is the belief that you deserve to realize it. Whatever you feel desire for – nurture that feeling and affirm that you deserve to have it fulfilled, that as an innocent, divine child of God, it is your birthright. See it done in your mind.

You may have the fear that if you allow yourself to pursue all of your “lower” desires you will become bogged down in a selfish, hedonistic lifestyle. I wish to remind you that your desires or passions are the way that your God-self speaks to you. Addiction and the self-destructive pursuit of pleasure is the result of self judgment and guilt. Selfishness and greed grow from the belief that there is not enough; that, therefore, what you get must be taken from another. The work that is cut out for you is listening to your passion (both “lower” and “higher”) and following it. Use your masculine side to affirm that there is an abundance of everything for everyone, that you deserve to have whatever comes to you, and that you are an innocent, loving child of God.

The opposite of acting out of passion is doing things because you “should” do them. It is just as important to begin to eliminate the “shoulds” from your life as it is to follow your passion. Each time you eliminate a “should” you create a space which you will want to guard carefully and fill only with a desire. For some of you your biggest “should” is your job. You have a passion to do something else but keep your current position out of fear. Your voices say, “How will I survive without this job”, or “Being a responsible adult means going to a work every day”, or “I need health insurance.” Here we would speak of “lower” and “higher” desires. Sometimes it is easier to focus on the “lower shoulds”, the little places where you say yes, but feel a no. These are perhaps the areas to begin to focus your energies, to remind yourselves that you deserve to do the things you wish to do, and that you are entitled to enjoy your life. You may have to begin by having the courage to change little things before you are ready to confront the larger ones, such as unfulfilling jobs or relationships. Sometimes by transforming the smaller issues the larger ones handle themselves. In other words, as you follow a discipline of obeying your “lower” desires and saying no to the little things, you may begin to experience that your job has improved and that your relationships give you greater satisfaction. You deserve it all.

God Blesses You,
Sanhia