Is This My Will or God’s Will? How to Differentiate Personal and Divine Will
(transcript from a recent session)
Good Now!
Participant: I have two questions that are essential for me. One is about my knee and the difficulties of walking, as well as some other annoying health problems. There is a lot of fear and guilt around this. How can I deal with this discomfort? Is there a lesson for me to learn? The second question concerns the noticing that I easily feel unloved, abandoned, or betrayed. It’s like I’m not sure I’m worthy of love and want to get affirmation from others. This feels out of balance and it is painful. I am trying to accept the will of God and let go of my personal will, but how do I know for sure which is which or understand the reason for God’s will being as it is?
So, there is some confusion in the mind about personal will and the Will of God.
Participant: Yes. there certainly is.
We could put it in this way. We could say that the personal will is focusing the energy on things that are not truly desired.
Participant: It’s like I don’t know my own best.
For example, do you wish to have difficulty with your knee?
Participant: No
So, the situation with the knee is a focus on something you don’t want. That is an expression of personal will. The same with the other physical characteristics you have mentioned.
Participant: When you say it like that, I can get it at once.
The focus on the Divine would go something like this, “My body is perfect; everything is happening as it should.” Then, you let it happen. The personal will comes in and expresses concern with what is. It thinks it should feel differently in your knee. It worries that you should do something: training more or in different ways, applying salves, or taking supplements. None of these possible actions are motivated by love. They are not based in passion, but rather in fear. This is always the case with the personal will. For some, training is a passion. Be honest with yourself. Is that true for you here?
Participant: There is a confusion in me. I don’t feel a passion to train in that way, though some of it I do enjoy.
Then let there be a clarity that you are doing things out of the joy of doing them, not to heal yourself. Do you passionately want to not be whole, to require healing? No, those thoughts come from the personal will.
Participant: I can feel that. At the same time there is an enormous abyss there.
Come back to the question of what you truly want without any reservations, without any guilt or shoulds. Do you desire to need healing or do you wish to know you are whole? What is it that you truly want? That is the Divine Will.
Participant: I spend a lot of time investigating the pain of my stories. If that is the will of God, I just want to accept it. I can stop trying to understand; I just need to know this is the will of God. I want to come to that point. But how to do this daily? Sometimes the physical sensations are so strong, and then my ego kicks in. It feels like a healing war.
Let’s go back to ground zero. Your expression suggests that you hold the Will of God to sometimes include “lessons” that will be good for you to learn. Let’s look at things from a different perspective. There is only one will. It is yours, the Divine You. You create everything in your experience through this mental activity. You have always done that. Many of these thoughts are based on beliefs that are not self-serving, such as not being deserving of love or being a victim to things from the outside that bring injury or sickness to the body. When you believe these things, because you are all powerful, such happenings are drawn to you. So, the first order of business is to stop holding thoughts that you are not passionate about manifesting. However, thoughts you have previously held are still doing their work. In reaction to their realization you are likely to experience what are called negative emotions. You cannot go backward and un-think those thoughts, but you can accept the feelings and sensations that they trigger and let them be there. This is not the “Will of God” acting on you, it is your “personal will” reaping what it has sown. It is not real; it is not forever. Let it be present – you have no choice as it is here. Eventually as you stop holding self-destructive thoughts, your experience will change. In order to have the power to choose your passion, you must also have the power to choose your poison. When you have had enough of that, you will let go of your addiction to pain. Again, there is only the Will of God. It is a question of what you are choosing. Any place you hold victimhood, you will continue to feel its effects. What is present is fully your creation, coming from the beliefs you hold. Don’t fight that, just decide to choose differently from this day forward. You will likely backslide, but stay with it. That’s what you do every day. Thoughts of being unlovable or needing to control the world to be safe do not come from love and passion. Love yourself with every thought. Worry does not come from passion. The Divine Will does not want to be healed, it wants to be certain of its wholeness. Would you rather see yourself as whole or broken? What does Divinity choose?
Participant: I need help. There is a part of me that doesn’t have that trust. I feel what you are saying, but how am I to fully step out there?
The power here is in how you choose to use the mind. You can use the mind to support the ego or you can use the mind to support Divinity.
Participant: I want to support the Will of God but at the same time there is an area where I am not aware of what my mind is doing.
Then, be aware. What is stopping you from being aware?
Participant: It’s an enormous habit; it’s like being hypnotized.
It is really very simple. If you are not feeling the Oneness, the Love of God, the Peace – you know the mind is holding on to something that is not true, creating a separation from the truth of your Divinity. It cannot be any other way.
Participant: When you say that I can see that there is a belief in the body. When the knee does not feel as I think it should, then I think there is something wrong. That is where I am stuck. I really need help with this.
You can always begin by taking a deep breath and letting everything flow through you. Whatever is going on with the body that is not desired, that feels painful or fearful, is the creation of the ego mind. Know that behind all of this is a belief the ego mind is holding on to. Notice what your belief is and ask yourself in your heart of hearts if this is what you want your reality to be.
Participant: So are you saying I just need to let it go?
Let it go and know there is nothing to understand, nothing to figure out. The only question is what in your Divine Will do you truly want here. Let me give an example of how this might work. Let’s say that a person says that their will is to be taken care of financially. So, they decide to train to be a teacher, get a job, and work hard to maintain the position, and create the financial security they desire. This person is not being honest to their true will. It might not be in their heart to do that training, certainly not every day nor all aspects of it. They probably don’t truly wish to work as many hours nor as hard as they are asked to. There are likely some requirements of the job they dread facing. With all of those sacrifices, the job probably doesn’t pay enough – there are unmet desires. The security lasts only as long as they are able to keep the job. Changes in the market, or in personal health could put the job in jeopardy. If they are fully honest with themselves, they will go directly for what the Will of God is rather than thinking that the ego has to create and sacrifice in order to get there. Going directly there is focusing on the thought that they are always taken care of. That, rather than the teaching job, is what they truly want. Any thought that they are not always taken care of, that a certain action on their part may be necessary to ensure their security is holding a belief that they do not wish to be true. This creates a world of pain and suffering. There is no way to experience total support without sacrifice as long as limiting ego beliefs are harkened to. This is following personal will instead of Divine Will.
Let’s say that the training was to become a psychotherapist. Let’s say that the desire to investigate this field is the Divine moving in you. You want to explore the depths of psychology both for yourself as well as for sharing with and providing service to others. You are not doing this to provide financial security, but because the Love within you wants to create in this way. This is following the Will of God. In this quest you may find the training to demand things you are not willing to give. Stay with your Divine Will. You may have to create a whole new system of psychotherapy; you may not fit into the existing job structures. No problem. Stay with your inner guidance. Follow your passion. You have asked to be taken care of and you will be. That is of secondary concern. What is primary is the direction you are guided to take. Stay true to that. That is the Will of God. God does not settle for less.
Participant: I feel taken care of economically; it is with love that I feel unworthy.
We took this off in another direction so that we could play with it, so that it went away from the personal, but let’s bring it back there. As long as you allow your mind to play limiting games – not focusing on what you truly want, which is to feel and know that you are always loved – but asking yourself what you have to do to be loved. Maybe if your hair is just right, or if you looked younger, or if you are of service to others you will feel loved.
Participant: I can see the craziness in it with your help.
Maybe the thought comes that if you can control the thoughts, actions, and energy of those around you so they will do as you wish them to, you will feel loved. You can always tell when it is the ego mind going; there is something in the middle. Instead of going directly for what you want, you create intermediary steps of things you believe you have to do to create what you want. None of these things are what you truly want. You have no true passion for doing them. Not only are these actions not what you truly wish for, they stand in the way of your realization of that Divine Will.
Participant: This morning I was paying attention to the energy in my knee and the pain didn’t scare me away, I didn’t experience it as pain. Then I began to question how I could know that I am right. Can I just feel the energy without taking corrective measures? The authorities tell me it is all about training. I am totally confused.
Don’t give your power, which is your Divine Right, away to anyone – including to Sanhia. You have a physical therapist whom you like and, you believe, is doing the best that she can, but does she listen to her Divine voice? Does she know that God always takes care of her, that everything is taken care of, that she has no need for a job in order to be supported, that she could wake each morning and ask herself what her Divine Will wishes to do with this day – what wants to express in this moment, what wants to happen? Would she be driving around from home to home as she does? Perhaps, but five days a week? This is not about her not trying to do the best that she can. It is about you giving your power away, and at that to one who has likely not claimed her own power. The advice comes from a belief that you are responsible for taking care of yourself.
Participant: And that you have to fight the body.
So you can think, “Thank you for sharing”, and then follow your own Divine Guidance about what you are inspired to do. Maybe some of her suggestions sound like fun. Do it out of the joy of doing it, not because you are broken and need to be fixed.
Participant: I see that I have fear around following the Will of God. I make God a part of the feeling that I have to do the training. It is like a war.
Have you made God your projection? You have a choice to make. You can listen to this ego voice that fears God and fears the Will of God, and tells you that you have to take responsibility, that you are broken and need healing, and spend eternity, like Sisyphus, pushing that rock up the hill, only to have it roll back down and having to start over and over again until you get so tired of it all that you decide to just kill off this body…
Participant: Let it kill itself?
No, you do the deed. You say you don’t want to do this anymore, that you are tired of it all. It’s too much; it’s too overwhelming. You don’t want to play this game anymore. Even at this point there are two choices. You can give it to God. What have you got to lose? You are going to die anyway. Or, your body dies because it is still too fearful to surrender to the Will of God. “Stop the world, I want to get off”.
Participant: No, I am not there. I don’t make the decision that I want to die now.
Most people make that decision unconsciously. Nor did you consciously make the decision to have a chronic problem with your knee. This makes it no less your creation. If there is a belief in victimhood, crazy things will happen.
Participant: Is God’s Will also my creation?
This, of course, is the second choice. There is no separation here. God’s Will and your will are one. The former comes from your love and passion while the latter comes from your fear and belief in separation. It is all your creation. The personal will does not represent what you want, however. We could say that your Divine Will back in your twenties was to know that you are loved unconditionally. Your ego mind did not believe that you deserved love. It whispered in your ear that you would be loved if you were a great mime/acrobat. Thus your passion for expressing through this art form became confused with a limiting belief. You could have manifested a successful career that left you still feeling unloved. Perhaps the passion to feel loved was stronger and losing the career made it more likely that you would come to love yourself. It is not important to understand just how things are working, only to realize that your thoughts are all powerful, so having an awareness of them can only support you in realizing your Divine Nature. Again, if you want to know you are loved unconditionally, go straight for that. Forget the diversions. If you have to do anything to earn the love, it is not unconditional; if you are judging yourself (or your mirrors), the love is conditional. Be aware. Go for the love. Totally. Conditional love is always saying, “Prove it to me”. Am I lovable even with this knee? The Divine desire is knowing that you are whole, not that you need and desire healing. The right use of the mind is to only focus on God’s Will, noticing when you are holding on to the separate will, and asking self what the hell you are doing? Why choose to create what isn’t truly desired? Everything is coming into your experience to lead you to what you truly want. That is a reason for not resisting what comes. You have asked for it, so take a good look at what you have asked for and notice how it doesn’t match your true desire. Let go of that type of thinking, that kind of request. Go only for the gold.
Participant: Thank you.
Good Now!
Sanhia/Spirit
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