Why is it hard to let go of victimhood?

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In the last message, we talked about recognizing your “old story” and choosing to let it go. But, you really have to want to let it go, and you don’t always want to do that. Sometimes, things have to get so bad that there isn’t anything else to do but to let the “old story” go. I am a believer in the idea that the least pain brings the greatest gain. You don’t have to really suffer to grow spiritually. If you are proactive and get out in front of things, you can choose to have your spiritual progress be as painless as possible. However, the part of you that we call the ego – the division that doesn’t believe in your divinity, thinks you are separate from God, and believes you are going to be punished for this separation – wants you to hold on to the victimization. It seems safer. Remember that the ego isn’t sane; it is absolutely crazy. It believes in insanity. And it draws immense pain and suffering to you.

I want to talk about how this operates for you. The ego says to fear punishment by God for being guilty. There is a hesitation to ever admit guilt. The ego tells you that to admit guilt is to invite the inevitable punishment. What you do then, is to project. Why is your life not working? Why are you upset today? Why are there problems? Because he did this. Because she did that. Because of the government. Because of my boss. Because of my parents. There is always a place to put blame. Unfortunately, blaming never helps. The ego claims it is buying time, that it is protecting you. But blaming never brings joy; it never brings peace or a sense of love. It creates feelings of helplessness. Blame leaves you always victim to the whims and the actions of others. Always. That is an illusion, because victimhood is a lie. It is not the truth. You are the creator. You are the divinity. Whatever exists comes from you, even if you are not aware of your part in the manifestation. As long as you pretend to not be responsible for your creations, they will continue to attack you. You will continue to fight them and to suffer.

I think that most of you can recognize yourself here. But some of you also play the game of ”Woe is me”. You tell yourself that you are so horrible and weak, and you go about accusing yourself instead of blaming others. However, if you look deeply, you will probably find many judgments of others mixed in with the self-blame. The ego thinks that by taking blame it might be able to avoid the wrath of God. But blaming yourself is the same thing as blaming others. It is an illusion; it is a lie. And, it never makes you feel better. It never heals. Remember that in the eyes of God there is no blame, no judgment, and no separation. God sees only your divine nature. For you to experience your divine nature, give up all blame and guilt, take full responsibility for everything in your life, and forgive yourself for every judgment you are holding about yourself and others. When you find the going to be tough, that is the place for the five-step process.

I began by saying that you are to be fully willing to give up your “old story”. There is a very good reason, according to the ego, for holding on to this blame/victim pattern. It manifests in a variety of ways, but they all have something in common. To the ego, it feels like there is a lot to lose by giving up victimhood. There is a comforting security blanket in being the helpless victim. This is something you can share with everyone around you. It is said that misery loves company. You go to your friends and you tell your pitiable story. ”Look what (fill in the name) did to me”. ”Guess what happened to me at (fill in the place)?”. ”You won’t believe what this jerk driver did”. It goes on and on, and your friend hugs you and says, ”Oh, poor you. I know how that feels”. You have this great connection and it feels good in the moment. It is a way to immediately sense love coming from others. They support you. This may be the only way that you know how to feel this love. The glow doesn’t last, however. The pain of being a victim remains. If you do decide to let go of your victimhood, there is a fear that others will abandon you. If you stop joining in the game of enabling victimhood, of supporting it in others and allowing others to support it in you, what is left in your relationships? Maybe others will grow angry and judgmental toward you? How will they react if you stop sharing your blame stories? What if you suggest to them that they give up their victimhood and claim their full power? ”Who the hell do you think you are?” they might say. There is a tremendous fear of taking your power. The ego judges power. It is terrified of it.

There is a similarity here with the experiences of those who choose to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. In that case, you want to give up an addiction to substances, as opposed to an addiction to blame. You may find that you will give up many of your friends and relationships, because they only share and support your addiction. You may choose to replace these people with others who are opting to take their own power. A great change may be required. Parents with younger children might have the fear that if they gave up their attachments, they might not be there for their kids. You might lose your marriage, your parents, or your job, along with your friends. You will become a social pariah. The ego does a wonderful job of spreading this kind of terror.

Ultimately it will come down to one question for you. Are you tired of this shit or not? Do you want to hold onto your victimhood and your unhappiness because you have the solace of fellow sufferers? Is that worth it? If the answer is ”yes”, you will continue with your “old story” until the answer becomes ”no”. If you want, now, to experience your divinity, feel your power, know only love, peace, and joy – you say “no” to the ego. You choose to let go of all judgment and blame, and refuse to have pain, suffering, and failure be part of your life anymore. Now, you are ready to let go of the “old stories”. You are willing to transform the fears you have been holding in your body into love. This will take some time, but the rewards will begin to be felt immediately. You don’t have to wait until life breaks you. You can be proactive. Choose to listen to the voice of love. You can experience the minimal amount of pain by choosing now. The more completely you commit yourself, the less pain you will feel. When you make this choice for yourself, ask for support from Spirit. It is there always. It always has been there. It has only been waiting for you to ask.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

What is a spiritual response to a world crisis?

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As you are working with your own spiritual healing, realizing your personal ascension, and perhaps using the five-step process, there often seems to be a stark contrast between the spiritual work you are doing and what seems to be the “reality” the world is presenting you with. One of the current “realities” is connected to the situation in Syria. This appears to be a complex political situation. The Mideast was destabilized by the Afghani and Iraqi wars instigated by the United States. This led to the formation of terrorist groups in the former Iraq. These groups spilled over the border into Syria. The long-standing dictatorship in Syria began to experience a civil war. Of the groups opposing the regime, ISIS emerged as the strongest. For those of you who are intent on rescuing to make the world a better place and to supporting the “good guys”, it is hard to find a champion. In addition, an extremely large number of Syrians have felt that there was no choice for them, in order to protect themselves and their families, but to flee the country and to seek refuge elsewhere. Many of them have fled to Europe, because there were few good options in the Middle East. That is the stage that has been set.

The situation tends to trigger extreme reactions for some people. One response is, “How can we take care of all of these people? We have our own problems. We don’t want to accept more Muslims in our country because their ways and beliefs are so different. We would have to take care of them, which is expensive, and they don’t want to follow our laws or respect our way of life.” On the other hand are those who say, “Oh, these poor people. We have to do everything that we can to provide them with a safe haven, to help them to get there, and to assist them in starting their new lives.” Oh, and another response for many people is one of hopelessness. The inner voices might say, “What can I do? This is all too big for me to make a difference. It just isn’t my problem.” All of these viewpoints come out of a place of fear. For those who do not want to take on the responsibility of helping there is the fear of lack and the fear of becoming victims to the refugees. For those who want to take care of the refugees there is often guilt, which is a manifestation of fear. It is the belief that you have behaved badly and that you will be punished if you don’t somehow make up for it. This all comes out of the illusion that there was a “wrong” and that it, therefore, can be corrected. Hopelessness is the fear that one is powerless. The ultimate fear is of death. You can also reread What am I to do with death? for help in dealing with this issue.

It is time for us all to take a deep breath and to collectively take a giant step backward. Let’s look at this whole situation in a different light. First of all, it is absolutely essential to remember that whatever you see in the world is a projection of your ego. If you see chaos, if you see victims, if you see people who don’t deserve help because they are responsible for their own troubles, this is a projection of your ego and how you perceive yourself in the world. The first step to take in healing what feels to be enormous world problems, and specifically the situation in Syria with the refugees, is to look and see where your fear is attached. Take responsibility for it and realize that this is about you, not about them. Looking at the situation with unconditional love, taking full responsibility for your own life, you might consider Syria and say, “My, this is an interesting opportunity for healing that they have chosen for themselves.” You would not see victims. You would see powerful children of God who have collectively chosen to create a situation that forces them into enormous change. Such change always leaves wide open the opportunity for healing. In your own life, your greatest opportunities for healing often come in the face of what appears to be adversity.

Deal with your own fear that is triggered, perhaps using the five-step process, and see this as an enormous spiritual gift for the Syrian people as well as the people of all the countries that are also deeply affected. Then you can look at these people freed of your judgment, guilt, and the feeling that you have to do something to help. Rather, you can see their divinity and the opportunity they have created. You can go into a place in your heart and see if you are guided to support this healing process in some way. Only from this place of unconditional love and acceptance can you be guided to an action that will truly support the spiritual process of another. Remember that the solution to a problem is never about changing others or changing the outside. It is always about taking responsibility, about looking at the situation and acknowledging, “This is me”. The solution lies with healing yourself. If you absolutely succeed in that, your personal ascension will change the world.

This is an enormous challenge. It is one thing to choose to be a monk and to go into solitude to work on your spiritual process. It is another thing to stay in your community, your family, and your work where you are dealing with the energies of others and are exposed to much of what is transpiring in the world. But, this is the challenge that you have chosen, to be in the world but not of it. You might wish to go back and read two messages that dealt with world problems for further support: How can I change the world? and How do I deal with my environmental fears?. You have created Syria for your own healing. This a great gift and an opportunity for you. We encourage you to make the most of it and to find that unconditional love within you. And to live there.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia 

Do you believe in a punishing God?

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Let’s start by defining mass consciousness. Mass means a large number of people, though not all. Consciousness is the awareness that is in your mind. When you are unconscious of choosing your beliefs, you have surrendered your consciousness to the control of others. The ”others” can be called the mass consciousness. In any culture there are a set of beliefs that are held by most people in that society. If you are unconscious, you simply accept those beliefs and they run your life. Though in truth you are divine and powerful, you will manifest according to the illusion of reality of the mass consciousness, and thereby prove its correctness. It is an endless loop. Whatever you believe in, you create. Your ego says, ”See. I was right”. It is considered blasphemous to oppose the mass consciousness and to proclaim your personal divinity.

Perhaps the cornerstone of the mass consciousness in western society is the belief in a punishing God. Some of you may already be saying, ”Oh yes, I was raised with that, but I don’t believe in it anymore”. My question for you is, ”Are you so sure?” Let us start with the first peg. God is unconditionally loving. That is the simple truth. The idea of a punishing God is man-made, not a divine idea. God is unconditionally accepting. There is nothing you could say or do that would be blasphemous to God. Absolutely nothing. The only one who can provide consequences for your words, thoughts, and actions is you. Only you – not God, not other people. If you cannot accept the belief in a loving non-judging God, there is nothing more to say here. You are welcome to follow your life and to make the best that you can of it. However, you would not be here reading this message unless at least a part of you was open to accepting the truth about God. I am speaking to that part of you.

The next step, once you have changed your mind, is to move everything in your body you are holding that doesn’t believe in your innocence and your divinity. It is one thing to state the belief – and that does come first – but that is not mission accomplished. It is simply setting a course. The path you are traveling is across what you believe to be your separation from God. If you believe in an angry and judging God, the chasm is uncrossable. How can you approach something that you are terrified of? In that case, you do whatever you can to keep the lion away from you. Your choices include living in the way that you think God wants you to, in order to avoid punishment – or denying the existence of God altogether. Either choice is designed to keep God away, not to bring God closer. That is what keeps you safe, in this illusion of an angry God. Being ”good” is a way to deflect God’s attention. You also want to hide what you think are your transgressions, both from God and from yourself.

The following step is to realize that that there is no such thing as a sin. There is no such thing as doing something bad that needs punishment. Sin is an illusion of the ego. If there is no judging God, there cannot be sin. You are off the hook. You have the absolute freedom to do anything you want. God will never judge you. This idea of good and bad, and right and wrong, is man-made. This thought can bring a level of terror to you. Because you haven’t fully accepted the truth of love as the ruling aspect of the universe, your ego in its fear says that people would be out raping, murdering, stealing, and God knows what else. You are terrified of the chaos that such a world would bring. Take a deep breath and feel that part of you. Ask yourself what part of unconditional love would want to kill or be killed, or to be involved with stealing, raping, or punishing? What part of unconditional love would wish to bring harm to anyone or would deny you whatever it is that you want? What part of unconditional love would create scarcity so you’re going to have to fight over what’s there?

Whenever these fears arise of what would happen if there were no rules of right and wrong, no judgments, and consequences, they arise out of the belief in a punishing God. If the energy that created you is unconditional love, how could you be anything else? How can the creation of a loving God be sinful? You have accepted the mass consciousness that God is angry and judging, and you are punishing yourself before God can get a chance to. You create sickness, financial struggle, relationship problems, victimization, trade-offs, and, finally, death.

First accept a loving God, accept your sinlessness, and give up your guilt. Forgive yourself for everything including your judgment of yourself and of God. Of course, there is truly nothing to forgive. God is not judging, but, because you are, it is a helpful step to take. Since you believe there is something to forgive, continue forgiving until you realize there is nothing to forgive. We would improvise slightly on the maxim ”To err is human, to forgive is divine”, changing it to ”To believe in error is human, to forgive is divine”. We could say that the state of divinity is the state of constant forgiveness. Forgiveness becomes acceptance.

Now we come to the place where we arrive in every message. If you are trying to work through all of this with your brain-mind only, you are still holding on to mass consciousness energy. Your brain-mind does not have the ability to let it all go. At best, it can convince you that you can experience your divinity and that God might not be punishing. You will still draw in the illusion of punishment, because deep within your body you still hold the belief in a punishing God. One way to move this is by giving it to your belly-mind by doing the five-step process. There is no should, or right or wrong, about doing this. Use any other technique that leaves you experiencing unconditional love. There does not need to be a great deal of struggle in whatever procedure you use. To use no method delays your experience of unconditional love. You deserve to feel unconditionally loved all of the time. Whenever the feelings of fear are felt in your body, go to the website and listen to the recording. Allow yourself to be guided through the process. You can also lead yourself through it or ask the support of a friend. Transform that fear into the love that is truly you. When you do the five-step process you are allowing yourself to fully feel the unconditional love of God, instead of the judgment and struggle of the ego. I will end by giving you my judgment of you. You are divine. You are loved, unconditionally. Always. No matter what you say, no matter what you think, no matter what you do. Your birthright is unconditional love.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia 

How do violence and guilt relate to sexuality?

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In the last message we spoke of spirituality and sexuality. There are two issues dealing with this subject that we would like to go into today. The first has to do with the coincidence of sexuality and violence. The second concerns undesired pregnancies. There is a connection between the two issues, but we will begin by looking at them separately. Deep within many of you there is a belief that sexual energy is not divine. To partake in sexuality is therefore to separate yourself from God, and, therefore, comes punishment somewhere down the line.

Violence is not an expression of sexuality. Sexuality is an energy that comes from the sharing of love. We wish to disconnect violence and sex in your brain-mind. Rape is violence; it is not sexual. It comes out of fear, not love. Love never requires another to do something that isn’t freely chosen. Fear can draw one to violate the freedom of another, or at least to attempt to, whether that violation is verbal, physical, or spiritual. Verbal and physical abuse are well understood. Spiritual abuse includes curses and spells, as well as the use of spiritual powers to encourage another to behave in a sexual way with you. As we have mentioned before, the development of spiritual powers is not always connected with love and spiritual maturity.

Let us again draw a line in the sand and say that when we are talking about rape or sexual violence we are not talking about sexuality. However, for many of you, particularly those who have chosen to incarnate in a feminine body, there is an emotional difficulty in separating these two – particularly if you have created the experience of apparent victimhood to sexual assault. Then you might find it difficult to have a sexual experience based in love, because the fear energy is still strongly held in your body. We want to remind you that when we talk about creating situations, it is never a statement of blame. If you are holding guilt or blame for the situation that happened, it is not our intention to support that. We wish to remind you of the absolute truth that you are the divine power in your life and that nothing could possibly happen without your permission. This does not mean that your intention or permission was consciously granted to the sexual violence that you have experienced or that you have fear of. You may wish to use the five-step process to feel this fear of sexual violence in your body, go into it and embrace this terror until it transforms to love; then visualize a new reality for yourself. This allows you to let go of victimhood and take your true power.

For some of you, your identification with victimhood is so much a part of who you believe yourself to be that you are unaware of having it. Here are some signs to look for. Do you feel something holding you back from sexual activity, aside from lack of interest in a particular possible partner? Do you find yourself having strong emotional reactions when watching films or television shows (or in reading novels or following true life stories) portraying sexual violence? Do you find yourself getting angry at the perpetrator or in judgment of the victim? “How could they let that happen?” ” How could they be so stupid?” If you do, your belief in your victimhood is active. If you have not created an ongoing fulfilling sexual relationship in your life, the fear energy is probably present, and likely not just from this incarnation but from many lifetimes. This is a major reason why lasting, loving relationships are not created. For others, the guilt creates a chain of violent partners.

Now let’s look at the male side of the equation. Here it is more likely that you have guilt about sexuality because you believe it is wrong. That begs the question for you, ”What woman would want to do that?” So, you either deny yourself sex or feel you have to trick or force the woman into the sexual experience. Tricking might mean making promises that you don’t intend to honor. Force, of course, means rape – which could mean emotional or mental force, as well as physical. All of this emerges out of the belief that you don’t deserve to have physical intimacy, so the only way to have it is through force. “What woman would want to have sex with you?” None, so you need to use some form of coercion. “And what kind of woman is going to have sex with you?” Only an evil woman, separated from God and spirituality would do that nasty thing with you. Now your use of force is somewhat justified. But what are your prospects for a lasting, supportive, loving committed relationship? “How can you commit to a relationship with a woman that you don’t respect?” If you do make love, you will be punished. Perhaps, she will control you and ruin your life in return for sex. Or, you can use the five-step process. For the woman, there may be the belief that there must be a relationship in order to have financial security. Sex can be seen as a price that has to be paid in order to have that support. Quite a story isn’t it! The good news is that you are both free. You don’t have to act out this story anymore. You can just let it go.

Before we leave for today, let’s talk about the subject of unwanted pregnancy, which affects both of you – although the woman has a larger role. For the man, the fear is likely to be that the pregnancy is going to rope you into the relationship and you may have to make a commitment. Even if there is already a child or two, the noose is being tightened and the responsibilities and restrictions are increasing. Unwanted pregnancy is the consequence you knew was coming from having sex. The extreme in the mass consciousness tells you that the only excuse for sex is reproduction and that you must live with your sinful choices and have the baby. Even if those religious structures don’t exist for you, it is likely that you believe that you have no control over pregnancy, short of abstinence. Most forms of artificial birth control carry with them some danger from side effects. Guilt is there with or without religion. The purest form of birth control is to love yourself unconditionally and to process all of your sexual guilt through the five-step process. Choose conception consciously. This is a big step. In the meantime, take prudent precautions until you are clear that you have released the fear and judgment from your body. Affirmations alone will not do that. Don’t come back to me and say, “Sanhia, you told me I wouldn’t get pregnant unless I wanted to”.  If you do create an undesired pregnancy, there is no right or wrong choice. You will learn and grow from either. The potential child is an immortal soul (and old buddy) who has agreed to play this role for you. Either way, that soul will continue.

The five-step process is a very powerful and effective tool. But, that does not mean that it is necessarily easy for an individual to succeed at it the first time she tries. Some of you have more innate skill in doing the process by yourself. For many, it may be helpful for somebody to guide you, somebody in whom you have confidence. You may also use the recording found on the website. It all comes down to you and to your intention. The tools are there to use. If you prefer the support of another, create that. Find a partner and support each other. There is always a way. It is the strength of your intention that makes the difference. We love you. We wish you to have a wonderful experience in physicality and to free yourself from all the fears of sexuality so that you may enjoy it ecstatically.

God Blesses You,

Sanhia

Why is forgiveness important?

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We have spoken about forgiveness with many of you before, but it is a topic that cannot be overdone. Forgiveness could be a daily focus; it is central to all healing. When you hold a grudge or you extend blame toward another or yourself, you block the flow of love from moving freely through your life. Blame and its shadow side, guilt, always are generated by fear, not by love. They are illusions and not the truth. When you blame another, you take the role of victim; you live in the pretense that you are weak and not the author of your experience.

Let us return to the truth of who you are. You are a divine child of God. You are an immortal, infinitely creative, and unconditionally loved being. You chose to believe that you could create separate from your creator. This was an illusion; all is one and cannot be divided. Your creator continues to see you in truth, unconditionally loving and accepting you, but you choose to judge yourself for this separation and to feel guilt and a need for forgiveness and atonement. You created this physical incarnation as a place to heal the guilt and separation.

When it comes to forgiving another, it helps to remember that there is nothing to forgive, that everything in this earth plane is an illusion. The event that is troubling you is your creation intended for your healing. The other people involved in your event are there because you set up their involvement. The aspect of them that is divine agreed to help you out.  Nobody is at fault. As you fully realize this, forgiveness is easy because there truly is nothing to forgive. The event is a manifestation of your belief that you need to be forgiven, but God only sees you in your innocent perfection. There is nothing to forgive.

As you run into judgments of yourself and others repeat to yourself (these statements are graciously borrowed from Ho’oponopono):

I love you…… (As God always loves you)

Forgive me…. (It is only yourself who can forgive and let go)

I’m sorry……. (I’m sorry for choosing fear instead of love)

Thank you…. (Thank you for reminding me that there is only love)

God Blesses You,

Sanhia